Bleached Armageddon
by Inuyoshie
Summary: Four fangirls, a fanboy and a toddler end up in Hueco Mundo. How? No one knows. Will they bring about the end of life as we know it? Most likely. Rated M for cursing and future lemons. Pairings will become obvious as the story goes on. Have fun, R
1. Chapter 1: Silencio

From those sick and twisted wierdies who brought you The University Story, So What's Normal Supposed To Be Again and Tsuta, Tsume and Yes, comes a new, stranger fanfic…

A Bleached Armageddeon

By Inuyoshie, who doesn't own Bleach.

Chapter One: Silencio

El Siquiatra

I woke up one morning, and It had happened.

Mom and dad weren't around. Now this is fairly usual, for Dad usually drops Mom off at her work early in the morning. But when I went into my little sisiter Sophie's room, she wasn 't there. My natural big sister instincts began to kick in, and I started tearing apart the house, looking for her. Final, with worry gnawing at my gut like an insatiable worm, I took a shower and waited for Dad to come home.

He never did.

At seven o clock, when I usually leave to walk to school, I left a note explaining that I was at school and to call me when someone came back. I even left my cellphone number, and actually took the device to school with me, even though cell phones are not allowed.

Walking to school, I saw no one. There were no cars driving on the streets, although they were parked on the road and some were even just stopped in the middle of the street, there were no people, no lights on in houses. The street lights were on, but that was it. I hated it. The world was way too quiet. So when my cellphone rang, I jumped into the air. My heart pounding and adrenaline rushing though my veins, I picked it up. It was Aja, my best friend. I was a little dissapointed, hoping it was Dad, but I hit the green call button and listened.

"Hey," I said shakily.

"Ruki-chan… are you okay? " Aja asked me.

"Ashe… n o one's here. Everybody is gone…" I replied. "There aren't even people out on the streets and stuff!"

"Yeah, I know. Mom and Dad and Wren and Zoe are gone too. Where are you?" Aja asked me.

"Uh, I'm on my way to school…" I replied.

"Don't bother. I got a call from Nikky saying that no one is at school… the lights aren't even on and all of the doors are locked," Aja told me. "Head over to my place,"

"Okay," I nodded. "… Aja…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared," I said quietly.

"I know… so am I. It's funny… you'd think I woudn't miss my bastard of a dad… but I kinda do," Aja laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, and I miss Sophie," I nodded.

"Well, I'll see you in a few," Aja told me.

"Yeah… bye,"

It took ten minutes of me listening to various Nickleback songs on high blast before I stopped shaking. Of course, by then I was almost at Aja's house. She lives right by Lake Michigan, and about twelve blocks away from my house. I usually walk twelve blocks to get to school anyway, so walking the distance didn't bother me. The snow that fell on the ground did however- because we had gotten two inches over night, and no one shoveled. One eerie thing was though- some places were shoveled. It was as if everybody just vanished while in the middle of shoveling, for there were some places where the snow was shoveled only on the steps leading from a house, and a random shovel lay in the snow. What, did like , the rapture happen and all that was left was Aja, Nicole and myself to survive the earth? Tears were in my eyes by now as I walked up to Aja's house and rang the door bell. Bingo, their black lab, wasn't there barking. I had been so pre-occupied in my Dad that I didn't think about the ferrets and our cat and the snake and the birds and the fish… I guess they are all gone too. I composed myself as Aja answered the door. She looked at me with tiered grey eyes and let me in.

"Hey, Ruki… you look upset," she remarked.

"I guess I am," I nodded, walking inside and taking off my boots. My feet hurt like hell from all the trudging through snow. I glanced over at Nicole, who was sitting on the couch, eating chips.

"Hey Maddie," she greeted.

"Hey Nikky," I nodded. "So do you know if any of our other peeps survived?"

"I called Heather, no response. I called Mekenzi, no response either. Same with Aj, same with Dakota, same with everybody," Aja said sadly. "No one else is here,"

"So what do we do now?" Nicole asked.

"We could try to find out what happened to everybody," I voulenteered.

"Yes… but wouldn't things be better without so many people?" Aja asked us. "I mean really, think about it. No more bitchy teachers, no more horrible parents, no more pricks at school…"

"Yes, but no more anime, no more awesome food cooked by adults, no more books, no more movies, no more electricity… I mean, you guys are my best of friends, but won't it get boring seeing the same three people for ever? And Aja- you can't really have kids anymore, unless somehow we discover a way to procreate without men," I pointed out. Aja frowned.

"Yes, but-"

"And besides, finding out where the other people went will give us something interesting to do," Nicole pointed out.

"Yeah!" I agreed.

"Okay… so… what do you all think happened?" Aja asked.

"Well, on my way here, I saw some partially shoveled sidewalks and mysterious shovels just laying in the snow… that would suggest that It happened recently," I pointed out.

"And all the animals are gone too… but it can't be like some kind of illness or anything like that, because we would see bodies and stuff," Niocle added.

"And only us are left… so what do we three have in common that the rest of the world doesn't?" Aja mused.

"I dunno… we're weird?" I suggested lamely.

"Hm… we're different… we don't think like others do… we don't see things like others do…" Aja murmered.

"Eh, to broad," I muttered, thinking hard.

"This sucks," Aja announced, going on the internet.

"Nyaa, can you find some good music? My brain can't function without it," I grumbled.

"Yeah," Nicole agreed.

"Wait- how is the Internet still working?" I demanded.

"Power generators," Aja replied calmly, going on YouTube and looking at her favorites. "Wait-what the hell?"

"Wh? What's wrong?" Nicole asked.

"There's no Bleach!" Aja whined.

"No more Bleach? Egads!" I squeaked. "The world actually has come to an end!"

"Wher's meh Bleach…" Aja whined. Nicole ran off to the laundry room and came back with a bottle of bleach.

"Here ya go, Aja," Nicole grinned, offering Aja the bottle.

"Nyaa!" Aja whined, banging her head on a wall. "The world as we know it has come to an end!"

"Hm… wo what on earth do we do now?" Nicole mused, looking out a window.

Inuyoshie's super special after the chapter… uh… special!

Hallo hallo beautiful people, and welcome to my first Bleach fanfic!

El Siquiatra means 'The Psychologist' I hope… that will make more sense later.

I suppose you all want some statistics…

Like the pairings…

And when Bleach is actually going to come into play here…

Well… the pairings are very obvious once you come across Nicole's. Here's pretty much jumps off the page and bites you in the ass…

As for the Bleach-y-ness, that will happen next chapter.

So, until next chapter!

Chapter Two: La Hija de el infierno!


	2. Chapter 2: Hija del Infierno

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. If I did, Aizen would win, or, Momo would totally leave for a while, train her ass off, come back all mega-powerful and totally pull a Kill Bill on Aizen's ass.

Chapter Two: La Hija de el infierno

The pitter-patter of small feet could be heard.

'Oh crap, Nel snuck in again," one of the numeros in Las Noches grumbled.

"Great," another grumbled, walking to the source of the noise.

"Wait-that's not Nel," a third numero remarked, looking down at a five year old in front of him. She had messy brown hair instead of blue hair, and solemn dark brown eyes instead of green ones. This child had no mask, and wore a mint green tee shirt with a piece of candy emblazoned on it, and candy printed pants of the same colour.

"I not Nel!" this girl told the numeros as if they were stupid. "I Sophie!"

"Aw crap," Numero A muttered.

"Now what?" Numero B complained.

"Eh, just kill her," Numero C suggested, picking Sophie up by her shirt. Sophie stared at this unfortunate numero with eyes that could see right through him, and he suddenly screamed in agony and crumpled on the floor, writhing in pain.

"What did she do?" Numero A gasped.

"Dat man bad. Killing people not nice," Sophie remarked.

"Uh... r-right," Numero B stammered. Things weren't looking up.

_Meanwhile, in Aizen's Throne Room_

Aizen lounged on his throne boredly, musing on what to do today, when he heard the pitter-patter of small feet and giggling.

"Tch. Nel got in. Again," Aizen grumbled. "Oh well, someone will deal with her…"

_Elsewhere_

Ulquiorra was walking back to his domain when he heard the pitter-patter of little feet, giggling and groans of agony. He turned a corner and saw two numeros swinging a five year old human child between them by her arms and legs.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ulquiorra demanded coldly of the numeros.

"U-uh playing," Numero A answered, letting go of Sophie's arms, so that she was being held upside down by Numero B.

"Emo!" Sophie giggled, pointing at Ulquiorra, who in turn glared.

"Does Aizen-sama know there's a human wandering around?" Ulquiorra demanded.

"No," Numero A replied.

"She's not technically wandering around," Numero B pointed out.

"Just kill her. You're making too much noise, keeping this trash around," Ulquiorra ordered.

"We can't," Numero A replied, pointing to Numero C, who was still writhing on the floor in pain. "Sophie-chan did that to him,"

"Sophie-chan," Ulquiorra muttered, disgusted. "Human trash,"

"I not trash! I hungry!" Sophie objected.

"Oh dear," Numero B muttered, not wanting to die.

"How did she get here?" Ulquiorra demanded.

"Dunno. She just showed up," Numero A shrugged.

"Hn. Probably Grimmjow dragged her in," Ulquiorra mused, grabbing Sophie by her collar and staling off.

_In Grimmjow's room_

"Grimmjow was sleeping when he heard a knock.  
Crankily, he rose and opened the door, to find Ulquiorra holding some little girl.

"What the fuck do you want emocar?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Emocar? " Sophie repeated. "Yaay!"

'Is this yours?" Ulquiorra demanded, wanting to get this thing off of his hands.

"Hell no! Why the hell would I bring a human little girl to Hueco Mundo? That's more the kinda thing Fox-face would do!" Grimmjow pointed out. Ulquiorra sighed.

"You deal with her then," Ulquiorra muttered, dropping Sophie at Grimmjow's feet and stalking off.

"I wanna cookie," Sophi8e announced, standing up and tugging at Grimmjow's pants.

"Arg! What the fucking hell!" he snapped at Sophie, who began to cry.

"Waah! You mean! You 'cary cookie monster!" Sophie wailed.

"Humph," Grimmjow muttered, picking the kid up and stalking off to find Gin so that he could get some sleep.

_Outside Gin's room_

"My my, wha' do we have here?" Gin commented, looking down at Sophie.

"I Sophie! Cookie monster and Emocar mean!" Sophie complained, pointing at the offending Grimmjow, who stood behind her.

"Where the hell did you get 'Cookie Monster' from?" Grimmjow demanded indignantly. Gin laughed at Sophie's names.

"Aw! Ain' she cute?" Gin asked rhetorically, and picked Sophie up. " I think I'll keep ya!"

With that, the ex-Shinigami retreated into his room, with Sophie. Grimmjow blinked, shrugged and walked back to his room to finish his nap.

_The Throne Room (again) _

"Sir…" a nervous numero stammered, walking up to Aizen's throne.

"What?" Aizen replied.

"Nel is outside of Las Noches. She's been there the whole time," the numero reported.

"So that wasn't her… Hm…" Aizen murmured, sipping his tea.

"Oh, and sir?"

"Yes?" Aizen inquired.

"Ichimaru-san is requesting a trip to the Land of the Living," the numero announced.

"Why?"

"To get cookies, sir,"

Inuyoshie's amazing after the chapter special of doom!

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Is story okay?

Yes, that chapter was a little silly… but the silliness is necessary!

Reviews are much appreciated, or you will have to go on with listening to my bad jokes.


	3. Chapter 3: Las Noches Falsas

A Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter Three: Las Noches Falsas

Omniciente

"Whee!"

After successfully obtaining cookies (and also successfully avoiding Aizen and Tousen's questions_ Gin was in a really good mood. And due to this, he decided to take Sophie to one of the most popular pastimes of the Espada in Las Noches- watching hollows fight each other.

Of course, this meant leaving Las Noches, but no hollow in his/her/its right mind would attack Gin, so he figured bringing Sophie along would be just fine. It also meant that Tousen couldn't question Gin about the giggling he's been hearing, which is always a good thing.

Sophie loved this. She spent most of her time sitting on Gin's shoulders, playing with his hair and eating cookies (A/N Hopefully not at the same time). Sophie liked Gin. He had a nice, easy name to say, and gave her lots of cookies. And he spoke funny. And, he showered Sophie with attention.

But there was something missing. Something important that Sophie's five year old brain was just starting to miss. The five year old missed her family. She missed her dad, and her mom, and her older sister. This loneliness was bugging Sophie, even as she was drinking in the desert air in the constantly nighttime Hueco Mundo.

"I want Mani," Sophie said sadly.

"Mani? Who's tha'?" Gin asked.

"Mani," Sophie simply repeated, biting into her last cookie.

"Hm- what's tha'?" Gin asked, looking off into the distance. There was a giant building standing only a few yards from where Gin was. Gin turned around, looked at Las Noches, and then looked at the other building. The second building looked exactly the same as Las Noches.

Gin changed his course and began walking over to the lookalike Las Noches. He ran into Grimmjow, who stood in front of a door, a bored look on his face.

"Hey, ya know what this is?" Gin asked. Grimmjow glanced dubiously at the toddler on the ex-Shinigami's shoulder then shook his head.

"Nope. I can sense some reitsus in there though, and I want to fight them. I was just debating-"

"Ya were debatin'? Wow… tha' must be a first," Gin interjected. Grimmjow glared at him.

"I was debating if it was worth it. I mean, there are only four reitsus in there, that's hardly a fight," Grimmjow finished. "But since you're here, I suppose you want to investigate,"

"Of course!" Gin exclaimed. Grimmjow shrugged his shoulder and blew a hole in the wall of the false Las Noches.

"Ya could've used th' door," Gin muttered as the two of them stepped inside. A blast of cold air hit them as they entered, and little white specks flurried around them.

"Snow," Gin muttered softly.

"Snow!" Sophie squealed. Grimmjow shivered at the cold and trudged in, stomping through the inches of snow that had accumulated on the ground.

_In Downtown Sheboygan (where this story takes place) _

La Siquiatra

"Ooh! My Chemical Romance! That's a keeper!" Aja squealed.

"Hey, they've got some Evanescence here," Nicole grinned.

"You know, technically this is stealing," I pointed out.

"Ruki! Look! There's a Nickleback CD!" Nicole pointed out to me.

"Ooh," I muttered, in spite of myself, tossing the CD into the shopping cart, which was full of sweets, books, clothes and other CDs. Yes, all stolen. We were such rebellious teenagers… this was the first department store out of several we had planned to go to. But I didn't want to shop (steal?), and I got the impression that Nicole and Aja were a little bored too. The novelty of being able to take whatever we wanted was starting to wear off.

"I wanna go to the beach," I complained as we walked out of the store pushing a cart.

"Dude, it's cold out. The beach is probably frozen solid," Nicole pointed out.

"Yes, but it's still pretty," I pointed out.

"It could be fun… and anyways, we'd better drop all of this crap off at my house anyway, so we can just go to the beach too," Aja suggested.

"Hey, once it becomes spring and summer, we can go swim whenever we want," Nicole pointed out.

"Yeah! And build bonfires like we did that one time when I first met you," I added, fondly remembering.

"That sounds like fun!" Aja, a natural pyro, grinned. So, we trudged off. We dropped out crap off at Aja's house, and continued to Lake Michigan.

What we found freaked us out.

You see, from the distance, everything looked peachy keen. I could see the dark waters of Lake Michigan stark against the grey sky. But as we moved closer, we realized that the waves weren't moving. It looked like there was some kind of invisible wall that had a picture of Lake Michigan painted on it, like something out of one of those Roadrunner cartoons I used to watch.

"What the hell/" Nicole demanded.

"Jeez, this is weird," Aja nodded.

And then, when things couldn't get weirder, they did. For there was a gigantic hole in the wall that was pretending it was Lake Michigan. A freaking, huge hole.

And standing outside of this hole were two people. Well, okay, three. One of these persons had my little sister on his shoulders.

As for who these people were… well… they looked an awful lot like people from Bleach.

"Is it just me, or do they look an awful lot like people from Bleach?" Aja asked, echoing my thoughts exactly.

"Yeah…"

"And one of them's got your sister…" Aja added.

"Yeah…"

"That's not so good," Aja muttered, pulling us behind a large rock so that we were hidden from sight.

"So who are these guys? I'm not so familiar with Bleach," Nicole asked.

"Okay, the blue haired guy is Grimmjow, and the silver haired guy is Gin Ichimaru," Aja informed Nicole.

"So are they good guys or bad guys?" Nicole asked.

"You know the Akatsuki from Naruto?" I asked Nicole.

"Yeah," Nicole trailed off.

"Yeah, these people are like the dead versions of the Akatsuki. They are bad ass," I replied. "And they've got my little sister,"

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Aja asked.

"Take Sophie back," Nicole suggested.

"We can't do that! We'll die!" I squeaked.

"Yes, but they've got your sister," Aja pointed out.

"Hey Grimy… ya hear somethin'?" Gin asked.

"Shhhh!" Nicole exclaimed.

"Yeah…" Grimmjow nodded, walking over to the rock we were hiding behind.

"Quick! Do we know them or no?" I hissed desperately to Aja.

"No! Play innocent!" Aja hissed back as Grimmjow peered over the edge of the rock.

"Well, what do we have here?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Aw crap," I muttered.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom.

Omniciente means Omniscient

Nobody loves me!!!!

I only got ONE review! Thanks to kira michi, you are a big help. You gave me the courage to go on.

Things will get interesting, I swear! Really! They do!

Next Chapter- Nos Encuentran!


	4. Chapter 4: Nos Encuentran

Yet Another Terrifying Chapter of…

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie, who owns little to nothing.

Chapter Four: Nos encuentran!

Psíquica (otherwise known as Nicole)

Okay, so we're hiding behind a rock from some blue-haired weirdo with a hole in his stomach and some creepy bone things on his face.

"Whadjya find?" another voice came from behind this weirdie –what was his name? Grimmjow? Hm… freaky-ass name too.

"A bunch of humans," Grimmjow yelled back, a ball of red light forming in his hand.

/Damn, I was hoping for a fight too/ he also said.

"Move!" Aja growled, pulling Maddie's and my arms away.

"Hold on a secon' Grimmy," the other guy called out. "I wanna know how they got inta Hueco Mundo,"

"Wha?" I demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Aja lied. "That sounds Spanish, Ruki, you know what it means?"

"Mundo means world," Maddie mused. "They didn't cover Hueco in class," Maddie retorted, still eyeing the dude with Sophie.

"Mani! Mani! Aja! Aja! Nicole! Nicole!" Sophie cried. "Lemme down!"

"Oh, so one of those three is your mother Sophie-chan?" the guy (I think his name was Gin) asked, setting Sophie down in the snow. She took a few steps (or more like waded) and then fell flat on her face. Maddie ran up to Sophie, covering her with protective arms.

"Sister. SISTER! NOT 'mommy'!" Maddie growled at Gin. "How old do you think I am?"

"Ooh… I'm not touching that one with a fifteen foot pole," I muttered, walking over by Maddie, to make sure that she didn't get blown up by Grimmjow. Aja followed, eyeing both men suspiciously.

"Do either of you know what happened to all the people here?" she asked. Gin smiled widely.

"Maybe," he said cheerfully, "and maybe not. It depen's,"

I stared at the guy in awe. He was practically screaming that he didn't know either, that he really wanted to know what we are and something about cookies.

"Stop that," Gin said suddenly, looking at me. "That tickles,"

"Um…" I asked, tilting my head.

"Yer ticklin' my mind. It feels funny," Gin clarified. "Ya three are interestin'. Whaddaya think, Grimmy?" Gin asked Grimmjow.

"Don't call me that," Grimmjow growled. "I say we blow them up or something. They're a pain in the ass,"

/One's kinda hot though/ he added. I reddened… he was looking at me.

"Stop hitting on me asshole!" I growled.

"Woah! Nikky! I know you were violent, but I didn't know that kind of thing turned you on!" Aja remarked with a grin. I punched her on the arm annoyedly.

"Well, Grimmy, nice goin'!" Gin laughed at Grimmjow, who glared at me.

"What the hell were you doing?" he demanded of me.

"Replying. You hit on me, I hit back," I retorted.

"Uh… Nikky… he never said anything out loud to begin with," Maddie informed me. "You must've… read his mind or something,"

"Yeah, that sounds abou' righ'," Gin nodded. "I say we bring 'em back to Las Noches and see wha' Aizen-sama has to say," I glanced at Aja, the most troublesome of the group, as did Maddie.

Would this end in bloodshed?

Inuyoshie's super amazing after the chapter special of doom!

Hallo hallo and thank you very much for reading this chapter. Sorry about the slow update. I've been… well, busy. On the bright side, the longhand version of this story is over sixty pages long! Yaay! That makes me very very happy.

Yes, I write everything out in longhand first. It gives me something to do in my classes. My poor notebook though… it's falling apart. And the folder I put the notebook in to protect it is falling apart too! My poor baby…

Hilarity is coming up next in the next chapter! I swear! And if you liked this chapter, review or I will get my evil army of hollow ferrets bent on world domination to steal all of your raisins and undergarments!


	5. Chapter 5: Llegamos muy tarde

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own anything whatsoever, so don't even ask.

El Bronista (Aja)

"I don't wanna," I announced, sitting down. I don't like these weird anime characters, and I see no reason why I should listen to them. And anyways… being defiant is fun.

Sophie copied me, sitting down next to me with a big grin on her face.

"Well, ya don't have much of a choice in the matt'r," Gin drawled, looking down on me. I shook my head. I didn't want to go to some colourless place ruled by assholes in the middle of the desert.

"Well, I don't want to go there either," Nicole added, coolly, sitting down next to me. Gin shrugged.

"Well, Grimmy, ya can take yer girlfriend-"

"NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"-An' I'll deal wi' the other one," Gin finished.

"Go to hell," I retorted coolly.

"Well tha' ain' nice," Gin replied, picking me up by the back of my shirt. "Do I hafta restrain ya?"

"What the fuck?" I demanded, trying to kick Gin.

"Dammit lemme go!" Nicole yelled, kicking Grimmjow angrily.

"My, ya two are violent," Gin remarked turning to Maddie, who was calmly carrying Sophie on her shoulders.

"Yes?" Maddie asked, sounding nervous. I didn't expect her to be as violent as Nikky or myself, so the fact that she was just carrying Sophie-chan kinda relieved me. At least something here was normal.

"So… I guess we'll be goin' then," Gin announced cheerfully, stepping though the giant hole in the 'lake' as easily as if he wasn't holding a kicking teenager.

The desert outside looked eerier than the manga/anime made it seem like. I could actually smell the sand and the blood, and feel the cool night air press against my face. Comparatively it felt like I just walked into a heated house.

I sullenly kicked Gin. I'd liked him in the manga and all, but in person, he was just an ass.

"Kickin' me ain' gonna get me to put ya down," Gin pointed out.

"It gives me something to do," I retorted, kicking him again. Gin turned to Maddie, who was still silently walking behind him.

"Hey, can ya get her to stop kickin' me?" he demanded. Casually, I rolled my eyes, and Maddie shrugged.

"If I cared to clack my teeth in a supremely useless manner, I would," she replied. Gin laughed and turned back around.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Grimmjow demanded turning away from Nicole's vicious kickings. "Jeez, you're worse than Aizen-san for speaking in riddles,"

"It means that Aja won't listen to her, dumbshit," Nicole retorted, before sneezing.

"Gezhuntite," I replied.

"Salud," Maddie added.

"Show-offs," Nicole grumbled, sniffing.

"What the fuck's your malfunction?" Grimmjow demanded of Nikky.

"I don't *sniff* know! My allergies are *sniff* acting up!" Nicole growled. "You must own a *sniff* cat or something!"

Gin and I snickered, and Maddie smiled softly.

I frowned and closed my eyes, figuring it would be a while before we got to Las Noches. As soon as my eyes closed, a vision flashed before me.

It was in Aizen's big ass meeting room. Aizen was sitting in his usual spot, drinking tea, and looking annoyed. Gin was kinda scratching the back of his head like he was embarrassed about something. All of the other Espada were looking at me. Too many people looking at me… damn… I hate that… I can't hear what anyone is saying- it's like their lips are move, but no noise comes out. It's so creepy. Then Aizen-

"We're here!" Gin announced (more like yelled into my ear) cheerfully. I blinked. We were now walking down a long, pristine hallway with black tiles and white walls.

"You're late to a meeting," I mused. Gin stared at me, and Grimmjow barked something at some poor arrancar.

"The bitch is right. Aizen-san started a meeting ten minutes ago," Grimmjow muttered quickly.

"Ooh, yous in trouble," I muttered as gin pushed open a pair of huge doors and walked casually into the room that I saw maybe a few minutes ago.

"That's creepy," I remarked, feeling cold all over.

"Ah, Gin, Grimmjow, how pleasant of you to join us," Aizen commented from his throne, sounding eerily like one of my teachers. "Where have you two been?"  
"Ah, yes," Gin sighed, dropping me on the ground and scratching the back of his head apologetically. "Well, there was this weird-lookin' building tha' looked like Las Noches'"

"Yes, we were just discussing which course of action we should take," Aizen nodded, looking at me.

"Yeah, an' we found these," Gin finished, indicating us.

"Emo!" Sophie cried suddenly, pointing at Ulquiorra. Some snickers rippled throughout the room, and Aizen cleared his throat.

"And… why is there a little human here as well?"He demanded.

"I found her!" Gin replied, picking Sophie up off of Maddie's shoulders.

"Nyah!" Maddie muttered upset.

"Nyaah! Nyaah!" Sophie repeated, giggling. Aizen narrowed his eyes at Sophie and she shut up.

"Do tell me… how did you all get here?" He asked me. I tilted my head to the side.

"I don't know," I replied, quietly.

"We already tried asking them that," Grimmjow muttered sullenly.

"You fail," Nikky remarked, kicking Grimmjow viciously.

"You have to have some idea as to how you four ended up in the middle of Hueco Mundo," Aizen pointed out.

"Not necessarily," I replied quietly. I didn't really want to talk today, and too much had happened for me to really be feeling overly chatty.

"It's true. We just woke up here," Maddie chimed in.

"So… whaddaya think, Szayel? Yer the local mad scientist," Gin remarked.

"Don't ask what he thinks… you don't want to know," Nicole told Gin.

"I'd have to examine them further," Szayel remarked, staring at Nicole who glared back.

"You really wanna touch me? Go ahead, try it!" She snapped at the scientist.

"Well, it seems to me that we have ourselves a volunteer," Szayel commented with a smirk.

"Nikky, quit provoking them," I suggested softly.

"So you're their leader," Aizen stated at me.

"Not really," I backtracked, not liking being put on the spotlight. Everyone was staring at me, expecting me to do something. A chair scraped, and Szayel stood up, walking over to Nikky I panicked, and pushed at the air with my mind, my heart racing. I heard something go crash before I curled up into a ball and hid from the world.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

I apologize if the last part was confusing. It has to do with Aja's powers and her mental state… you'll find out more in the next chapter.

This one took me a long time to type. I will give you all cookies if you can guess who is being paired with whom! Well… you can't guess the fifth person's pairing, but that's just because he hasn't shown up yet. But if you want to guess, it will be yaoi! So I guess you can guess… which Espada is most likely to be gay. No it's not Szayel.

How do you pronounce Szayel's name anyway? Is it Say-el? Or something else? Hm…

Please tell me by reviewing and my evil hollow ferrets will be pleased.


	6. Chapter 6: Cuartos Nuevos

And now for another thrilling installation of…

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie!

Chapter Six: Cuartos Nuevos

El Siquiatra (Maddie)

Someone went flying into a wall, and Aja now is curled up in a ball at my feet.

"What just happened?" Nicole asked.

"Ah, it looks like Szayel tried to take ya up on yer challenge," Gin said casually, pointing to Szayel, who was picking himself out of a wall.

"Ashi, you okay?" I asked, getting on my knees and looking concernedly at her. She didn't respond.

"Damn, she's gone autistic again," Nicole muttered, glaring at Szayel.

"I'd appreciate no experimentation," I piped up, trying to calm Aja down. . It felt weird, like when I touched her, she felt closed and isolated

"Hm… this is an amusing turn of events," Aizen remarked. I bristled inwardly at being called 'amusing' but said nothing, trying to calm Aja down. "Gin, since you seem to like these three, find them some rooms… I suppose I'll humor you and allow them to stay. But remember this: the only reason you all aren't dead is because I'm in a good mood," Aw jeez. Ya know, I liked Aizen enough in the anime, but in real life, he seriously needs to take his god complex and shove it up his ass sideways.

"Well everybody, time ta go!" Gin announced cheerfully.

"Alright," I nodded, tugging on Aja's sleeve. Her closeness receded a little bit, and she stood up, following Nikki, Gin and I out of the creepy room full of arrancar.

"So… yer 'Nikki', righ'?" Gin asked Nicole.

"Yeah," Nicole nodded.

"Good Yer room's gonna be next to Grimmy's since ya seem ta like him so much-"

"WHAT?" Nicole screeched. "I'm NOT-"

"Nikki, just go with it, 'kay?" I asked softly, not wanting more conflict.

"Give 'im hell fer me!" Gin advised cheerfully, showing Nicole to a room. Nicole gave Gin a dirty look, but then walked into the room.

"Hm… now where do I stick yer…?" Gin muttered, looking at Aja. There was a pregnant silence that seemed to stretch for five minutes, due to Aja's and Gin's staring at each other.

"Well, there is an open room by Souske-sama's room," Gin said finally. "Since he seems to find ya all so entertaining,"

Aja nodded quietly, and we all set off in a new direction. No one said a word as we walked.

"Well, ya two ain' the talkative kind, eh?" Gin asked casually. I shrugged, and Aja said nothing. Sophie babbled something happily on Gin's head.

"Well, here ya are. Try not to bug Souske-sama a lot or he'll kill ya," Gin told Aja cheerfully, opening a door for her. I tried to memorize the placement of my peeps' rooms so I'd be able to find them again as Gin turned another white corner, leading me… elsewhere.

This elsewhere wasn't far from where Aja was. Gin stopped in front of a door, took Sophie off of his shoulders and handed her to me.

"Here's yer room," He announced, still maintaining the cheerful creeper stalker smile he always had on. I opened the door and stepped inside. It was fairly large, with a white bed and dresser in it. In a corner, there was a pile of cookies.

"Um… thank you?" I muttered, eyeing the cookies suspiciously.

"Yer welcome," Gin called, walking off to do God knows what. I sighed, flopping on the bed. It was better than a couch I guess. What bothers me is that there just so happened to be three fully furnished rooms ready to have people in them at the same time we arrived. That is just… creepy.

I turned to Sophie, who was eyeing the pile of cookies hungrily.

"Mani, I hungry," she announced.

"Have you eaten anything besides cookies since you came here?" I asked sternly.

"Uh… I don' think so," Sophie answered. I scowled.

"That's not good for you," I informed her. Sophie sighed sadly. I shrugged, and dug thought the pockets of my coat for something to do. I pulled out a tan glove, put it on, and made a little hand puppet.

"Heey Sophie! I'm Bob. Wanna hear a story?" I made the hand puppet say. Sophie giggled, ran over by me and sat on the bed next to me. I (on the fly) made up some bogus story about a princess who was kidnapped by a prince and fell in love with a dragon. A little later, we shared some cookies. The cookies were Japanese, so I'm guessing that they were obtained from The Land OF The Living. The creepy thing was I could understand the characters. I guess I've been speaking in Japanese the whole time. Weird.

But suddenly, a problem presented itself.

"Mani… I gotta go potty," Sophie announced solemnly.

"Aw crap," I muttered, looking around. Where was a bathroom? Are there any bathrooms here? If I went and looked around, would I get in trouble? Gin never said I had to stay in my room, but then again, he never said I could wander either. What if… I asked for directions? Would I get eaten?

I paced my room nervously, trying to look at all of my options.

"Sophie, did Gin show you where the bathroom is?" I asked my sister desperately.

"No," Sophie shook her head. I sighed.

"Well, it would seem to me we're just gonna have to find one," I announced dramatically, picking up my little sister and opening the door.

The hallway wasn't helpful. Not a single door was marked. This meant that I'd have to resort to…

"Heya, watchya doin' outta yer room?" a voice asked in my ear. I screamed and jumped up in the air. Gin stood behind me, smiling creepily.

"Ah-ah-I'm so sorry," I stammered, an odious feeling settling on my chest. Was he going to kill me? Oh God… I'm gonna die…

"Is somethin' wrong? Yer all pale," Gin remarked.

"Eh… well…" I trailed off, trying not to sound stupid. "My sister needs to use the restroom,"

"Oh. Well why didn'ja say that in the first place? Its' there," Gin informed me, pointing to the room across from mine.

"Uh… thank you," I muttered again, nudging Sophie over by the room.

"Mani," Sophie announced.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't wanna go potty anymore," she said cheerfully.

"Someone shoot me," I muttered under my breath.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom!

Hallo hallo beautiful people and thank you for reading chapter six of Bleached Armageddon. I hope this chapter cleared things up about last chapter. I know that was a little confusing, but it had to be done to demonstrate some of Aja's power. Her power is weird. I probably gave her too much…

Well, anyway, please review!


	7. Chapter 7: Soy Azul

Bleached Armageddon Chapter Seven (Hey, that kinda rhymes!)

By Inuyoshie, who sadly, does not own Bleach. Tite Kubo is God.

Chapter Seven: Soy Azul

El Bronista (Aja)

The room was white.

…

Too white.

And it was very clean. So clean- it smelled faintly of soap. That's just wrong, I'm sorry. A room shouldn't just smell like soap. It should smell like people. I paced the room annoyedly, not able to think. I needed to get out of this room.

So I did. They were awfully stupid and didn't' lock the door, so I calmly walked down one of the halls of Hueco Mundo. This wasn't much of an improvement, but at least I was doing something. I casually opened a door and stuck my head in the room. It was a fairly fancy bedroom with a big bed and lots of books. The books were tempting, but I wanted to scope out the area first. I left the door open so I'd remember it.

The rest of the doors in the hallway didn't have too many interesting things in them. I found a bathroom, and most of the other rooms were bedrooms of some strange arrancar people. Bored, I left this hallway and meandered down another hallway. I quietly opened a door, expecting another bedroom. Instead, I was met with darkness.

Now I was interested. There was enough backlight for me to be able to vaguely see shelves and containers, so I didn't kill myself on a container of something. I froze, trying to determine if I was alone in the room. I could hear some clicking and upset sounding mutterings. I crept foreword, keeping my breathing and footsteps as silent as possible and peered around a corner.

The source of the clicking and muttering was that scientist guy (Szayel, I think). He was standing next to one of his weird glass tube things typing something into his computer furiously. I noticed pictures of Nicole, Maddie and myself on the screen and shuddered.

"Szayel Aporro-sama! Szayel Aporro-sama!" one of Szayel's freaky fracción suddenly yelled into my ear. I jumped up and screamed.

Apparently Szayel was startled too, because he stepped back and crashed into one of those odd test tubes. A cloud of powder blue smoke rose up from the crash, and coughing could be heard. And swearing. Lots of swearing. Who knew the scientist had such a colourful vocabulary?

When the smoke cleared, Szayel stomped over by me, his eyes blazing and his skin a lovely shade of powder blue. I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing.

"Shut up! You've ruined me!" he snapped at me.

"Oh, I think it's an improvement," I commented cheerfully. I then decided to run like hell, due to the crazed look the scientist was giving me. On my way out, I ran into someone.

"Ow!" I grumbled, falling to the ground. I looked up, and saw Aizen towering over me, looking royally pissed.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded coldly, sending invoulentary shivers down my spine. Szayel bounded out of his lab in his blue and pink glory, and then stopped short when he saw Aizen.

"Ah, Aizen-sama-"

"What is going on here?" Aizen demanded.

"I didn't do it!" I exclaimed.

"She turned me blue!' Szayel accused.

"It's your own damn fault!" I retorted.

"Well you shouldn't have been in my lab!" Szayel snapped.

"Well, you shouldn't have stuck me in a white room!" I snapped back, louder.

"Ichimaru locked you in there, not me!" Szayel pointed out angrily.

"He can't have locked me in there; otherwise I wouldn't be out here. And you call yourself a man of science!" I retorted. If Szayel's face wasn't blue, it would probably have been red. Now it was a lovely shade of purple.

"Now you look even gayer than before!" I chortled. Szayel turned purpler.

"Ahem," Aizen cleared his throat. We both looked at him, me innocently and Szayel sheepishly. Aizen glared at me. "Back to your room,"

I thought about flipping Aizen the finger, or sticking my tongue out at him, but he was giving me THE LOOK, you know the one your mom gives you when you know you are in deep shit. Then again, your mom isn't a crazy ex-shinigami with a god complex…

I turned and walked down the hallway from whence I came. After a few minutes… I noticed that someone was following me. IT was Aizen. I couldn't actually see him, but I knew it was him. After a few minutes, it started bothering me. Luckily, I reached my room before I went into another autistic moment. Just as I opened my door, I felt Aizen stare at me.

"What?" I demanded.

"That's your room?" he asked.

"Yes… is there a problem with that?" I demanded cheekily.

"Tch. Typical Gin," he grumbled, turning to the room with the open door. "Why is my door open?"

I said nothing and ducked back into my evilly white room. I twitched. It was too white.

I'll fix that.

Inuyoshie's evil after the chapter special of doom and marshmallow peeps.

Hallo hallo beautiful people! Thank you for reading my fanfic…

Sorry about the slow update. I've recently become obsessed with the anime/manga Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro. It is so amazing; I may even write fanfiction for it…

Speed over Beethoven helped me get though this chapter, which was fun to write. As is the next one…

Indeed. So why don't you push the button and review this fanfic? Please?


	8. Chapter 8: No Soy Tu Mujer

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter Eight: No Soy Tu Mujer

By Inuyoshie

For all who may not know, Bleach is not owned by me.

Inner Me: No shit Sherlock…

El Rey (Grimmjow)

I was trying to sleep.

Is it too much to ask for some peaceful sleep?

I guess so, 'cuz that STUPID human girl is pacing in the room next to me. Pissed off, I got up and stomped over to her room, opening a convenient door in between our rooms (how the fuck did THAT get there?). That Girl was pacing. She glared at me angrily.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"Some peace and quiet," I retorted.

"Okay," she shrugged. I sighed and closed the door. I lay down on my bed, and closed my eyes peacefully.

"I! DON'T NEED YOUR FORGIVENSS! I! DON'T NEED YOUR HATE! I! DON'T NEED YOUR-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed back at her.

"DIE MOTHER FUCKER DIE!" she screamed back. I got up, my sword drawn, and kicked down the door between our rooms (I swear Fox Face put it there).

"What?" she asked me sweetly.

"You bitch," I snarled.

"Thank you," she replied. I stalked over to her and picked her by the collar of her shirt.

"You. Shut the hell up," I growled at her, slamming her into a wall. She glanced back at me, eyes filled with defiance. She then sneezed on me.

"Dammit!" I snarled, backing up angrily.

"Stupid *sniff* allergies!" she sniffed, rubbing her neck. IK glared at her. She sneezed on me. She sneezed on me! She-

She's walking up to me. She glared at me, and kicked me in the shin. I barely felt a thing; she on the other hand, fell on the ground clutching her foot. I burst out laughing, and she glared at me.

"Shut up, man-whore!" she snapped. I stopped laughing.

"Man-whore?" I demanded, an eye twitching.

"Yeah. You're dressed like a fucking man-whore," she replied, rubbing her foot. "And I can't' believe that I broke my foot on a fucking man-whore!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you," I snarled, drawing Pantera. She stared at me with wide eyes and I smirked. She's going to-

"ACHOO!"

What the fuck?

She sneezed on me! Again!

And she wasn't stopping.

… Crap…

I've got Human Sneeze on me!

I backed up, watching her sneeze and wheeze on the floor, clutching her foot and swearing when she had the breath. After a few minutes, the sneezing stopped she looked up at me with red puffy eyes. I grinned.

"You're crying! How pathetic!" I chortled at her.

"It's allergies dammit!" she snapped back at me.

"What the hell are allergies?" I mused. "Are they like some kind of illness or something?"

"Th-"

"Jeez that means that I gotta drag your ass by Gay Mad Scientist Boy," I muttered. "I don't want to catch your disease,"

"It's not a disease-"

"I don't care! Now get up!" I roared. She glared at me.

"I can't," she answered.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"My foot hurts too much," she replied.

"If you don't get up soon, that's not all that will hurt," I threatened. That Girl frowned, and struggled to stand up. As soon as she put weight on the foot she tried to kick me with, she yelped with pain and toppled over. I frowned. Aizen had directly ordered me not to harm any of the new people. (He even said "Grimmjow, you are not to harm any of these girls, understand? They may be useful to us, O_O) Not that I give a rat's ass what that stupid ass shinigami things, but he can be pretty scary when he's pissed. With a sigh, I picked That Girl up by her shirt and slung her over my shoulder.

"Ow," she complained.

"Wuss," I replied.

"Fuck you. Where are you taking me?" she demanded.

"Why don't you read my mind?" I taunted. As soon as I said this, I felt something warm tickling the back of my head.

"Don't you DARE take me to that fucking weirdie!" she yelled into my ear.

"Well that decides it. We're definitely going to him then," I grinned, walking out of her room.

"I hate you bastard," she snarled, sneezing again. I ignored her and sauntered casually down the halls of Las Noches. As I turned a corner to enter Szayel's domain, I saw one of my least favorite Espada (Okay, I hate them all, but this one's a particular ass) Nnoitera. He was leaving Szayel's lab with a huge grin on his freaky face. I felt That Girl stiffen as soon as he came into sighed and inwardly groaned. Nnoitera has the dirtiest mind in all of Hueco Mundo. Pair him with a psychic, oversensitive bitch and you have a brawl just waiting to happen.

"Hey Grimmjow," Nnoitera drawled, coming to a stop in front of me.

"What do you want?" I demanded irritatedly.

"Well… I just heard that Ichimaru stuck one of those human girls with you… and I was just wonderin' if ya would let me spend some… quality time with her-"

"Go fuck off Spoony," I told him casually before That Girl could say anything. Nnoitera scowled, narrowing his eyes. As I passed, That Girl sneezed on him, and he looked disgusted.

"I've got business," I told him calmly, walking into Szayel's lab. "Can't say it's been fun talking' to ya…"

I turned to look at Szayel and realized why Nnoitera was laughing. The Octava Espada's face was blue. His clothes also had a bluish tint to them, suggesting that they covered up blue skin… oh god that's funny!

"I suppose Nnoitera told you to come and laugh at me," Szayel snarled as I barely suppressed my laughter.

"Nah, he just hit on my woman," I said coolly, pointing to That Girl and ignoring her glares. "I think she's diseased,"

"Diseased?" Szayel asked, perking up. Typical freak, give him something diseased and he's suddenly happy again…

"Yeah, she's all sneezy-"

"ACHOO!" she sneezed on Szayel. He jumped back, a look of terror on his face.

"Shit! I've been contaminated!" he exclaimed, running out of the rom.

"I am not your woman," That Girl snapped at me.

"Would you rather be Nnoitera's?" I asked cruelly. She frowned, and I smirked, sensing a victory.

"Can you at least call me by my proper name? It's Nicole," she asked.

"No promises," I retorted with a shrug. Nicole's kinda a pretty name…

"Alright," Szayel announced, coming out wearing lab coat, goggles and rubber gloves. "I have-"

"I'm NOT diseased," Nicole burst out. "I'm just allergic to cats!"

"Allergic?" Szayel muttered, closing his eyes. "Allergic… ah! That's a human condition-"

"No shit, Sherlock," Nicole interjected. Szayel glared at her.

"Where the passageways in the lungs become enflamed due to various chemicals in whatever you are allergic to. Here," Szayel paused, rummaging around in one of his cabinets and pulled out a bottle of pills. "Take these,"

"They won't make me explode… or turn blue… will they?" Nicole asked cautiously, poking the bottle.

"I don't know. I've never tested them on humans before," Szayel replied sweetly. "Now get out,"

I shrugged and pulled Nicole out.

After the chapter.

Fun to write… NOT FUN TO TYPE! Oh God… my shoulders…

To put me out of my misery, please review.

Also, I apologize to all Nnoitera fans, I really don't like him. Or Mayuri for that matter… both of them will probably get tortured in this series…


	9. Chapter 9: Yo perdi a mi hermana

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter Nine: Yo perdí mi hermana!

By Inuyoshie

I own nothing.

La Sonrisa (Gin)

Contrary to popular belief, I do not spend all of my time causing trouble. Yes, causing trouble is one of my favorite pastimes, but one cannot draw on Tousen's visors and re-arrange Szayel's chemicals all the time.

And besides, when something goes wrong in Las Noches, and some furious arrancar storms into my room to see me, say, innocently reading a book, the look on the arrancar's face is priceless. So, I was reading innocently in my room when I heard a knock. It wasn't from the main door, but from the door I installed between Sophie-chan's room and my own. I curiously walked over and opened the door to reveal Sophie-chan's older sister, Maddie. She looked fairly upset, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth drawn in a tight line.

"Um, Ichimaru-san," she began, barely audible.

"Hm?" I asked.

"I was wondering… have you seen Sophie?" she finished.

"Nope!" I replied cheerfully. Maddie winced.

"Crap. I went to sleep, and I woke up, and she's not there!" Nyah, I'm a horrible sister," she whined, banging her head on the doorframe.

"Now, doin' that ain' gonna get ya yer sister back," I informed the girl sternly.

"I know, it's just… irritating," she sighed.

"Well then, go look for her!" I suggested.

"How do I do that?" Maddie demanded.

"Well, ya find a door, ya knock on it, ya open it, and if she's in there, great, and if she ain', then ya move on," I instructed her carefully.

"Alright," Maddie sighed, sounding apprehensive.

"Well, let's go! We've got lotsa ground ta cover," I exclaimed, pulling Maddie outside of my room.

"'We'?" she repeated. "You don't have to come-"

"Aw, it'll be fun!" I assured Maddie.

"…" she looked at me suspiciously. "The last time someone said 'it'll be fun', I ended up doing something that is most likely illegal," I raised my eyebrows. Maddie didn't seem like the kind of person do randomly do illegal things…

"What'dja do?" I prodded. She shook her head.

"Oh no. You're not getting it out of me, my lips are sealed," Maddie told me firmly.

"Hm… I'll get it out of ya eventually… "I murmured, making a mental note of it and dragging Maddie down the corridors of Las Noches.

I stopped in front of a door and opened it up, sticking my head inside. It was one of the storage rooms- it had no Sophie-chan.

"Opening up random doors will take too long… where would a toddler logically go?" Maddie wondered.

"Toddlers have logic?" I asked rhetorically, opening up another door and ignoring the scream of outrage from a female arrancar.

"Point taken," Maddie agreed, opening another door and closing it. "Why are there so many storage closets?"

"Well, ya gotta hide the bodies somewhere," I replied cheerfully. Maddie paled slightly. "Yer right, this'll take too long… let's ask fer some help!"

"Like who?" Maddie asked eagerly.

"Hm… an Espada," I suggested.

"Won't they… kill us?" Maddie asked, now sounding less enthusiastic. I flapped a dismissive hand at her.

"Naw, everybody but Souske-sama wants me dead anyway," I assured her. "If one of the Espada was gonna kill me, they woulda done it already,"

"Somehow that doesn't assure me," she muttered.

"Anyway… where should we start?" I asked, changing the topic.

"Uh… maybe the scientist guy took her," Maddie suggested softly.

"Let's ask!" I replied, changing my course. I had heard that Szayel had been dyed blue, and wanted to see it for myself (and congratulate whoever did it. Why didn't I think of that?).

"He'll be mad though… Ashi dyed him blue," Maddie pointed out worriedly.

"Well, yer the one who suggested it," I retorted as we entered Szayel's domain. I knocked on one of the doors and looked down at one of Szayel's fracción, Lumiar.

"Sooo… have ya seen Szayel around?" I asked the little blob casually.

"Szayel Aporro-sama! Szayel Aporro-"

"WHAT?" came a deadly shout from inside the lab. Maddie backed away slowly.

"He's pissed, frustrated, humiliated and in the middle of something… we should come back later," Maddie suggested nervously.

"Oh no. Yer not backin' outta this now," I told her, walking her into Szayel's lab. The scientist turned around and glowered at us.

"What do you want?" he scowled.

"We're lookin' fer a little toddler, about yae high, brown hair, ya seen her?" I asked casually.

"No I have not. Go away," Szayel snapped angrily. I frowned. Now he was just being mean. I guess I'll have to stick in my own two cents.

"Okay! Oh, and by the way, congratulations on her ne w look. It really fits ya!" I remarked cheekily. Szayel turned around and returned to his work.

"Maybe Nnoitera knows where she is," he said nastily. "He really seems to like children," I heard a sharp inhale of breath from Maddie as she dashed out of the lab.

"Oh look, now ya gone and made Maddie all sad. How mean," I reprimanded Szayel. "I'll have ta re-arrange yer chemicals again-"

"So it was YOU!" Szayel roared, leaping out of his chair.

"Oops, I think that's my cue to go!" I cried, running after Maddie. I caught up to her easily.

"Ya know, he just wanted us out," I pointed out.

"True, but what if Sophie IS dead?" she replied, her voice laced with panic.

"How'd ya get ta be so negative?" I demanded.

"I'm not negative, I just believe in Murphy's Law," Maddie replied.

"Eh?" I asked, confused.

"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong," she finished grimly, coughing and breathing heavily. "Damn lungs,"

"Ya know, ya should slow down," I remarked. "Do ya even know where yer goin'?"

"I have no clue," Maddie sighed, stopping and slumping against a wall, panting for air.

"Yer so dramatic," I sighed, looking around a nearby corner. "Oh lookie! It's Tousen!"

"Yippy Skippy," Maddie replied dryly. "Maybe he knows where Sophie is,"

Tousen turned to glare tat me though his visor (which I took the liberty of decorating with cute little flowers and bunnies) that weird arrancar Wonderweiss was following him. And following Wonderweiss was… Sophie-chan!

"Hey, I found Sophie-chan," I called out to Maddie, who leapt up with surprising agility and ran over to Sophie-chan, hugging her.

'Hm, so you're this strange child's mother?" Tousen asked. Maddie glared at Tousen coldly.

"Hah Tousen… yer lucky yer blind, 'cuz if looks could kill, yer would be a bloody smear on the wall!" I chortled.

"Oh my God I thought you were dead!" Maddie told Sophie. "Why did you leave our room?"

"I wanna pay!" Sophie replied.

"Play! Play!" Wonderweiss added.

"Okay," Maddie sighed, letting Sophie play with Wonderweiss. "Thank you very much sir," she added to Tousen.

"I did not realize that there was another pure hearted being in Las Noches," Tousen nodded. I swear he was looking right at me (although it's hard to tell). I shrugged and walked off. I think I've taken a break from troublemaking for long enough.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of wondrous doom.

Yo! I like this chapter. It's all about Gin being… well… Gin. He's one of my favorite characters…

Oh by the way, I've been forgetting to put in Spanish translations

This chapter's means 'I lost my sister'

Last chapter was 'I'm not your woman'

The one before that was 'I'm blue'

And La Sonrisa means 'The smile' and El Rey means 'The king'.

Please review and enjoy the Spanish language. Also, is there someone out there who would be willing to be a beta for this story?


	10. Chapter 10: No me molestes

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter Ten: Usted No Me Molesta!

By Inuyoshie

Psíquica (Nicole)

"Hey,"

"Go away,"

"Hey,"

"Go away,"

"HEY! Grimm-kitty!"

"Why the fuck are you calling me that?" Grimmjow roared at me. I quickly dodged before he could slam me into another wall. I had some pretty colourful bruises on my back, and didn't care to add on to them.

Then again, if Aja or Maddie saw my bruises, they would kick Grimm-kitty's ass. Iron hard skin or no iron hard skin.

"Hello? Woman? I asked you a question!" Grimmjow snapped at me, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Why the hell are you bothering me?" Grimmjow repeated himself.

"Oh. I wanna learn how to fight," I replied. Grimmjow burst out laughing.

"Hah! That's hilarious! You really think you can fight here in Las Noches?" he sneered. I narrowed my eyes.

"And what about me makes me not able to fight?" I demanded.

"Well, for one thing, you're a human. And for another thing, you're a girl," Grimmjow told me, snickering.

"If you don't teach me, I'll tell everybody about the time you screwed Ulqui-whatshisface… and he was seme," I threatened. Grimmjow's eyes bulged, making me wonder if it was true.

"I did no such thing!" he roared.

"Your word against she who can read minds," I retorted smugly.

"Bitch! I'll just send you to Nnoitera!" Grimmjow threatened.

"I'll blackmail him too," I responded.

"He's stronger than you! You won't be able to walk for days-"

"Then I'll call Aja. If she can throw a scientist into a wall out of pure instinct, imagine what she can do with lethal intent," I pointed out.

"How would she know?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Telepathy!" I exclaimed.

"Oh yeah? Well what if Aizen kills her for being annoying?" Grimmjow pointed out.

"Then I'll get Maddie!" I replied.

"She's weak and pathetic!" Grimmjow snickered.

"No she's not! And besides, she's got Gin and a little sister who is a walking, talking weapon of mass destruction," I added.

"By the time you do that you'll be too-"

"And THAT is why I want YOU to teach me how to fight," I finished with a smirk.

"Wha-wha-wait. How the hell does that make sense? I was threatening you and-"

"So, when do we start?" I asked with a smile. Grimmjow glared at me.

"You actually think that if I teach you some fighting skills that you can beat an arrancar?" Grimmjow asked me unbelieving.

"So you're not that good at fighting? I guess I'll have to ask someone else…" I trailed off.

"NO! I am," Grimmjow snapped. "And anyways… what do I get out of it?"

"Uh… you can work off stress?" I asked. Shit… I hadn't thought of that… "Or… I'll behave?"

"How about… you have to do everything I say-"

"Hell no!' I exclaimed.

"It's not THAT bad," Grimmjow remarked.

"Yes it is!" I retorted. "You try having to do everything I say and see how you like it!"

"That would never happen," Grimmjow scoffed. "Obeying me is my only condition,"

I glared at him. I do not tolerate being ordered around, especially by some really tall blue-haired man-whore thing.

"Those are my terms, take 'em or leave 'em," Grimmjow prodded, a smirk on his face. I just wanted to bitch slap that smirk right off.

"Only during lessons," I growled. I really needed to learn how to fight (and win) or I'd probably die here, being psychic and surrounded by perverted wierdies.

"Okay. Now leave me alone," Grimmjow muttered, lying back on his bed. I smirked.

"We're not in a lesson right now," I pointed out. Grimmjow lifted his leg and kicked me. I blocked it, but both of my arms' bones seemed to ring from the impact.

"Lesson number one: don't bother me while I am sleeping," Grimmjow told me coolly. I frowned and walked to the door, opening it. A waft of air blew in, smelling deliciously like… curry.

"What's that smell?" Grimmjow demanded, sniffing the air.

"Curry," I replied.

"What the hell is that?" Grimmjow asked me, standing up.

"Food," I replied snottily.

"No fuckin' shit! What kind of food?" Grimmjow growled.

"You'll just have to find out, Grimmy-sensei," I replied teasingly, walking out of the room and following my nose. I was lead to a large room, where tons of arrancar surrounded Aja who was standing in front of a pot of curry, smiling.

Oh God, we're all gonna die.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Fear the curry! Fear it!

Yes, arrancar have never had curry. This will now change…

Please review.

No usted me molesta means 'Don't bother me' by the way.


	11. Chapter 11: Aja Cocina Una Problema

Welcome to the next thrilling installation of Bleached Armageddon

Chapter Eleven! Aja Cocina Una Problema (Muy Grande)

El Bronista (Aja)

I was bored. And when I get bored, nations fall.

Aizen never said I HAD to stay in my room. (Actually, he did, but I have selective hearing…) So, I left. I wandered. I accidentally walked into Emo-car's room and almost got ceroed. After that adventure, I found the kitchen, and discovered… that no one here can properly cook.

Three hours of cursing later I was standing in the middle of the Las Noches mess hall surrounded by arrancar. Some of these arrancar were Espada. All were staring at me.

"What is this?" one asked.

"It's curry," I replied. Some of the arrancar who helped me make it (and drag the pot into the mess hall) came out with bowls, chopsticks and a huge pot of rice. I grinned.

"Everybody eat!" I announced. What happened next was pure chaos. I was swamped with arrancar, all rushing to get some curry. Before I died, I felt someone pick me up by my collar.

"Ah!" I squeaked as my mystery saviour walked over to a table and plopped me down next to… Maddie, Sophie and Nicole. All three of them had steaming bowls of curry.

"Thanks for saving Ashi, Ichimaru-san," Maddie chirped up.

"Yer welcome," Gin grinned, sitting down with some curry.

"Your curry is amazing," Nicole complimented me. I blushed.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Yeah!" Maddie agreed.

"How did you all get some curry so fast?" I demanded.

"Quickly," Maddie corrected. "And we are awesome, that's how.

"Yah! Yook! Yook wah Wannawice gave me!" Sophie exclaimed, showing me a drawing of some strange blobby forms.

"Wow," I remarked. "You're so cute!"

"Mommy make curry," Sophie commented, pushing her curry around with a spoon.

"Don't you like curry, Sophie?" I asked.

"It make me sick," Sophie replied. I frowned.

"Ashi, don't take it personally. Sophie is a very picky eater," Maddie assured me.

"Kids are like that," I shrugged.

"So… how have things in the life of Aja been?" Maddie asked me.

"Okay. You?" I asked.

"I'm getting fighting lessons from a man-whore," Nicole muttered.

"Eh? Ya mean Grimmy?" Gin asked. Nicole nodded, an annoyed look on her face. I grinned.

"Man-whore? So you two have-"

"HELL FUCKING NO!" Nicole interrupted my perverted insinuation. I snickered evilly at Nikky's red face.

"It's not funny! He says during the lessons I have to do everything he says!" Nicole whined.

"Oh, that doesn't sound kinky at all," Maddie remarked sarcastically. I burst out laughing, and Nikky frowned.

"I'm being serious. The only reason I agreed with it was so that if some ass hits on me, I can kick his ass," Nikky defended herself (A/N: *cough* Nnoitera*cough*)

"Grimmy-san better not take advantage of you," Maddie commented. I blinked, and nodded, realizing Nikky's situation.

"Well, we can't have that," I remarked, standing up and scanning the mess hall for Grimmjow. I spotted him, arguing with Ulqui-chan over something. Plastering a wide grin similar to Gin's on my face, I skipped over to the unfortunate Espada.

"Hey there Grimmy!" I chirped. "Hi Ulqui!" Both Espada glared at me.

"You're that one girl's friend… what the fuck do you want?" Grimmjow snapped at me. I quickly grabbed a chair, pulled it over next to Grimmjow, stood on it and put an arm around Grimmjow's shoulders.

"Now Grimmy, I hear that you're giving Nikky lessons," I began cheerfully.

"So? Get off of me," Grimmjow hissed.

"Well, it's just, if Nikky gets hurt, I will rain hell upon your pour, miserable and pathetic soul. I will not hate you, per say, but I will strongly dislike you with the intensity of a thousand suns. Everything in your life will go wrong, and when it does, I will be the cause. Understand?" I asked in a cheerful voice. Grimmjow backed away slowly.

"Damn… you'd scare even Aizen…sama," he remarked.

"Why thank you," I smiled, skipping back to where I was sitting earlier.

"You didn't have to do that," Nikky muttered, finishing her curry.

"Yes, yes I did," I retorted.

"Yes, for no one knows what horrible things Grimmy-san would've done to you without that warning," Maddie added. Nikky sighed heavily.

"Well, I hope you're happy, Grimmy-sensei's being mocked," she commented.

"Grimmy-sensei? Nice," Gin grinned.

"Yes," Nikky nodded.

Just as everybody was getting seconds, the main doors slammed open. An unmistakable silhouette stood in the door way- Aizen. Everyone in the mess hall was silent.

"What is going on here?" Aizen asked, his voice almost pleasant, except that it made shivers run down everybody's spine.

"Well, you're threatening us, that's what," I muttered under my breath. Aizen turned to me and narrowed his eyes.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"You're excused," I replied.

"Oh! Smartass!" Nikky grinned.

"Better a smartass than a dumbass," I remarked smiling nervously. I felt something crushing down on my head and shoulders and chest, making my yes water and my legs crumble under me.

"Ow," I squeaked softly, gritting my teeth. All of the other arrancar were pressed against the walls of the mess hall, looks of absolute terror on their faces. The only people who weren't' putting as much distance as humanly (arrancarly?) possible were Gin, Maddie, Nikky and Sophie. Well, Maddie and Nikky looked worried, and Sophie looked pissed.

"Bad 'cary throne man! You hur' Aja!" Sophie yelled at Aizen.

"Sophie-chan," Gin chided, picking Sophie up. "Tha's not such a good idea,"

"Lemme GO!" Sophie screeched, and Gin frowned, wincing.

"Sophie," Maddie hissed.

"Now. Explain to me why when I called a meeting, no one showed up?" Aizen demanded of my icily.

"I made curry," I replied, my voice surprisingly calm. Aizen looked surprised too… I guess he's used to people stuttering or something when they are being squished by reitsus. It's either that or the curry.

"Eh Aizen-sama? Did ya send a messenger or somethin'?" Gin asked.

"Yes… he never came back," Aizen said suspiciously, his eyes sweeping the room and landing on a cowering arrancar with a bowl of curry.

"Tha's the power of curry," Gin remarked proudly.

"So… you had nothing to do with this?" Aizen asked in disbelief.

"Nope! This Aja's stealin' my thunder," Gin remarked.

"Thank you!" I chimed, getting up. Aizen glared at me, and rubbed his temples.

"Great. We have another Gin," he muttered.

"Who can cook!" Maddie chimed in.

"Hey! I can cook!" Gin complained. "I jus' choose not tah,"

"Nice," I remarked. Aizen cleared his throat.

"Ahem. I trust this kind of intrusion won't occur again?" Aizen asked me sharply (sounding once again like a stern teacher).

"You mean I can't make curry anymore? The food here is awful! No offence," I added to the kitchen arrancar, who shrugged.

"She does make good curry," Gin added.

"And wouldn't you rather Aja make food for everyone than cause trouble?" Nikky asked. Aizen looked around at all of the other staring arrancar and sighed.

"I'll talk to Tousen," he muttered, stalking out. As soon as he was gone, a sigh of relief echoed through the mess hall. Gin turned to me.

"So… yer gonna cook lunch tomorrow, righ'?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Aja: Why the hell didn't Sophie-chan pwn Aizen?

Inuyoshie: Because then she'd die. Aizen has no qualms with killing cute children.

Gin: Aww, ya make him sound so evil!

Aja, Nicole, and Maddie: He IS!

Dakota: And when do I show up?

Inuyoshie: You're not supposed to be here! You're coming up in a few chapters!

Dakota: Nyaah.

Nicole: Inu couldn't write because her computer died.

Aja: Aizen smote it down.

Aizen: Why must you always blame me?

All: Hope you enjoyed, and please review!


	12. Chapter 12: Quinta Basura

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter 12: Quinta Basura

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. On the bright side, I own an imagination, which is just as good!

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

I can't believe this.

Somehow, those three human trash (and the disturbing small child) convinced Aizen-sama to allow them to return briefly to 'La Falsa Las Noches' as the mysterious building in the middle of Hueco Mundo has been dubbed.

And somehow I had to escort them.

… Why me?

Oh yes, now I remember. Most of the other Espada would merely provoke Aja into saying something foolish starting a fight. Grimmjow and Nnoitera would fight with Nicole, and Szayel would end up dissecting them all within five minutes. So logically, I was the safest choice.

"Come ON Emocar!" Aja yelled at me from about three yards ahead of me.

"Ashi! That's rude!" Maddie scolded Aja.

"But it's true," Nicole piped up. I scowled and caught up to the three adolescents, giving them my best death glare. Within five minutes, we (thankfully) reached our destination.

"Well, our houses are far apart, so it'll take a while to get our stuff," Aja told me nonchalantly. I inwardly sighed. This was going to be a long day.

"Who's the closest?" I asked sternly as we stepped through the hole that trash Grimmjow made in the wall.

"Mine," Aja announced, shivering at the cold air. I frowned as something cold and wet hit my nose.

"Snow!" Sophie exclaimed, waving her arms in the air.

"I really hope it hasn't been snowing for the three days we've been gone," Maddie muttered as we trudged across a wide plain of snow.

"Probably not or there'd be more snow," Nicole replied as we trudged up a sudden incline.

"Yes… can't we all just go to our separate houses and meet back here in two hours or so? It will take less time," Maddie suggested. I closed my eyes and considered this option. This means that one of the girls could smuggle in a weapon… then again, it also means less time in this cold, wet trash heap.

"Fine… but I will be periodically checking on you all," I consented with a sigh. We really should've brought more people.

"Yaay!" Aja squealed, running up a block and over to her house.

"What?"

"I said I'll drive Ruki and Nikki to their respective houses, drive back, pack, and then pick them all up!" Aja suggested cheerfully, opening the door to some large, red contraption that smelled disgustingly like smoke.

"You can drive?" Nicole asked Aja.

"Well, not legally… but since when has THAT stopped us?" Aja asked with a maniac grin, dashing to her house and coming back with three backpacks, as small black purse and a handful of keys. "Okay people, let's go!"

I watched the contraption sputter and spew to live, expelling a foul-smelling gas out of the back of it, and move away, making no move to stop or follow it. I could feel their reitsus, so that wasn't a problem. And besides- Szayel installed tracking devices inside of each of them (when he did that I don't know, or care to) so anyone could find them.

I jumped onto the roof of a nearby building and took in my surroundings. This place was huge, like Las Noches, but was cold, wet and smelled bad. There was no order to anything. It was just trash-

Wait.

There's a fifth reitsu.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM

Inuyoshie's super special amazing after the chapter special of super special awesomeness!

Okay, did anyone notice I updated the description? There are now four girls… yes, there is another person. You won't meet her for a while though. You will be meeting the boy next chapter. Heheh… it's all good.

I also am amending the comment I made earlier that said boy would not be paired with Szayel.

Please review! I am up to 54 chapters in the longhand version and I really want to know if you people reading this even like this story or not. Okay? So yes. Please…


	13. Chapter 13: No Quiera Morir

Okay People! Time for Yet Another Scintillating Episode of Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie.

I don't own Bleach, Death Note, Tyson chicken, Ambrocrombie&Fitch or The Beatles. Sorry.

Lucky Chapter 13: No Quiera Morir!

La Luna

It's been three days since everyone disappeared. At first it wasn't bad. I mean, no school, no annoying sister, just a bunch of re-runs of Death Note on my computer that miraculously still worked.

After about eight hours of this, I was starting to go crazy. Everything was too quiet.

What was creepy was that there was a message on my home phone from Aja.

"Hallo Tsuke-chan, this is Aja, calling to let ya know that apparently the world has ended, but I'm still alive, as is Nikky and Maddie, so, if you are getting this message, haul your ass over to my house, 'kay?"

Well, I did, but no one was there. Pissed off, I wandered around. For three days I wandered, despair weighing down my heart like a ten pound weight.

Dammit! That's a sign that I'm going insane- my thoughts are sounding like some depressing emo poetry.

Luckily, I kept my sanity by watching Death Note and reading fanfiction. On occasion I'd go outside and ride my bike through the snow, break into the nearest grocery store and steal their chicken.

I have declared Tyson on the list of things that officially kick ass, along with L, yaoi fanfiction and vanilla pudding.

But one day, things changed. I was walking out of Save-a-Lot with a container of vanilla icing when I heard the unmistakable growl of a car. I began running closer to the source of the notice, hope exploding in my chest. I'm not alone! I'm not alone! I'm not-

"Who are you?"

I froze. There was a person in front of me. He was a little taller than me, was dressed in a white uniform, and had messy black hair and wide teal eyes. What was odd about him was the odd, white thing on the side of his head and the emo looking tear marks coming from his eyes. He almost looked delicate, like a porcelain doll… only he was pointing a finger at me, and there was a ball of green energy on the tip of it.

"Uh, please don't kill me," I pleaded, backing up.

"Then answer my question," the man ordered.

"Uh, I'm Dakota Mainer," I replied, backing up until I hit a wall.

"Hm. I suppose that means Aizen-sama will want to hear about you," the man muttered, almost to himself. I freaked, and pressed myself against the wall, and felt something cold rush through my body, and the next thing I knew, I was inside Save-a-Lot again.

What the hell?

I just walked through a wall! Not to mention the creepy doll guy out front. Shit, I gotta get outta here!

I ran through Save-a-Lot clutching my tub of frosting. Occasionally, I would run through a wall or rack of something (which wasn't fun, because after a few walls my mouth tasted like pickles, maple syrup and soap)

Finally, I ran outside. In my blind panic, I didn't register the sound of tires squealing and angry music blasting and BOOM! A creepy cold feeling rushed through me, and I landed on something soft and squishy.

"Holy shit! I ran over Dakota!"

Oh God. I'd recognize that squeal anywhere.

"Um Aja-"

"I always knew I'd be the death of him… the Fearsome Foursome is-"

"Aja! I'm right here!" I shouted. She turned around, causing the car to swerve into someone's yard.

"AAH! It's Dakota's ghost!" Aja screamed.

"Somebody call a Shinigami!" Maddie giggled.

"Ashi! Lower the decibel count!" Nicole complained from next to me.

"But, he just phased through the car!" Aja squeaked.

"Yeah, it's freaky! You smell like soap," Maddie added.

"Spring fresh!" Nicole piped up. Everybody burst out laughing.

"So… Tsuke…" Aja trailed off.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You ran through our car," Aja stated, getting back on the road.

"Yeah… and you guys should watch out for some crazy doll guy with green eyes-"

"Did he look kinda emo?" Aja asked me.

"…yeah…" I replied. "He's kinda scary,"

Everybody (once again) burst out laughing.

"What?" I demanded.

"You do know he's on the roof of the car," Nicole pointed out.

"WHAT?" I squeaked.

"Emocar has hijacked our car," Aja sang happily. I swear I heard a sigh from the top of the car.

"So... who's this 'Aizen-sama' guy?" I asked.

"He's like Light with a shiny hallucinogenic sword," Maddie answered.

"Except he doesn't dress like he's a male model for Ambrocrombie &Fitch," Nicole added.

"He could if he wanted," Aja pointed out.

"So… he's got a Death Note?" I asked.

"No… but he's a Shinigami," Maddie told me.

"Ex-Shinigami," Aja corrected.

"Right…" I nodded nervously. Aja cleared her throat.

"Okay Tsuke, we're takin' you back to Las Noches," she announced.

"Nyah! What's with all of the Spanish?" I demanded angrily.

"Well, that's what it's called," Nicole shrugged.

"Why can't it be in English?" I demanded.

"Well… technically, once we leave this compound, everybody speaks in Japanese," Maddie informed me. "If you want me to translate, I will,"

"How do you say 'Stupid Trash' in Spanish?" Aja asked me.

"Basura estupida," Maddie replied readily. I frowned at all the Spanish, and the car stopped. The weird emo guy appeared in front of the car.

"What's his name?" I whispered to Maddie.

"Ulquiorra," she replied. "It's a bitch to spell,"

"Oh," I replied, disappointed. More Spanish.

"Hey Emocar! Can't we drive back to Las Noches?" Aja yelled, rolling down the window. "It'll take less time!"

Ulquiorra sighed, closing his eyes as if he was asking for divine intervention.

"Fine," he muttered.

"Hop on in," Aja invited, and Maddie opened up her door, switching seats with me.

"What are you doing?" I squeaked.

"Ulqui-san scares me," she admitted softly as Ulquiorra, frowning, stepped in.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Inuyoshie's After the Chapter Special

Dakota has finally arrived! But will he survive….

Read next time and find out.

If anyone is confused by all of the Spanish here, please feel free to PM me. The chapter title means 'I don't want to die' in the subjunctive mood and the POV title means 'The Moon' which is also what Dakota's nickname 'Tsuke' means. Yes.

Please review. Thank you!


	14. Chapter 14: Ellos Dijeron Que?

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter 14: Ellos dijeron que?

Las Lágrimas.

The only, ONLY reason I even stepped inside of this moving piece of trash was for information. I stared at the boy sitting next to me, trying to extract information nonverbally. The boy turned to me, his green eyes wary, and gave me a nervous smile.

"Uh… hi…" he mumbled. "You're… Ulquiorra, right?"

"How did you know my name? I don't recall telling it to you," I asked him sharply.

"Maddie told me," the boy replied, pointing to the girl next to him. I shot her a cold glare, and she frowned at me.

"Would you rather Dakota call you 'Emocar' the rest of his life?" she demanded.

"That won't be long lasting… Aizen-sama will most likely kill the boy," I replied coolly. The car screeched to a stop as both girls in the front seat simultaneously turned and glared at me. Maddie leaned over and did the same.

"NO." they all growled at the same time.

"You cannot stop Aizen-sama," I informed them, as Aja began driving again, reaching Las Noches at an alarming rate.

"Yes, but what did Tsuke do wrong?" Aja demanded. I sighed and looked once more at the boy in question, who hadn't said a word. His mouth was in a tight line, and his hands were clenched over his knees. Other than that, he showed no emotion on his face.

"It's okay Tsuke… Aizen-sama will let you live. If not, he'll face our wrath," Maddie assured the boy. I fought the urge to laugh (in scorn. I don't laugh because of mirth. Ever.) at the absurdity of that.

"You're wrath is nothing compared to Aizen-sama's," I told the human girl scornfully. She shrugged.

"There's more than one way to crack an egg," Aja announced as she stopped the car in front of Las Noches.

"And what do you mean by that?" I demanded, stepping out of the trash. Aja merely smiled in a very Gin-like manner and shoved several duffel bags in my arms.

"Here ya are, Emocar," she sang cheerfully, waltzing into Las Noches. The human boy took the bags from me and quietly followed Aja and the others into Las Noches. I sonidoed into Aizen-sama's thrown room to inform him of what I had learned.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Sorry about the short chapter.

No reviews? Don't you people love me?

Please review to show me your love!


	15. Chapter 15 :Fracturar a Seguridad Parte1

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter 15: Fracturar a Seguridad Parte Uno

By Inuyoshie

I own nothing. Thank you.

Psíquica

We all hadn't walked for more than five minutes before Gin attacked us. Okay, he didn't' attack us as much as he randomly jumped out of nowhere and scared the living shit out of us.

"Hiya! I see yer all back... an' ya brough' a friend!" Gin remarked, peering at Dakota.

"Uh… h-hi?" Dakota stammered.

"Ichimaru-san, you're scaring Dakota," Maddie chided Gin softly. Gin simply smiled preditorially and turned to Aja.

"Yer in trouble though," Gin informed her. "Apperen'ly ya sai' somethin' tha' soun'ed like ya was gonna kill Aizen-"

"I did NOT! I was just-"

"Emo-boy was bugging Dakota, and we were bugging him back. Is there a problem with that?" I asked sharply.

"Well, I'm pretty sure ya wouln' be so stupid as ta try an' kill Souske-sama, so I don' care," Gin said casually. "But he wants ta meet Dakota an' have grimmy an' myself search yer stuff,"

"WHAT!" Aja and I shouted. Gin frowned and covered his ears.

"Not so loud! One migh' think yer hidin' somethin'," Gin complained. I internally sweatdropped, thinking about the katana and three knives I had stashed in my duffelbags and on my person. Would Grimmy try to pat me down? Or strip search me-

"Um Nikky… are you okay? Your face is all red," Aja spoke up.

"Aww… Nikky-chan is prob'ly imaginin' Grimmy strip searchin' her-"

"AM NOT!" I shouted, turning redder.

"He would too," Maddie added with a sigh.

"Well then, I'll leave th' lovebirds to it then," Gin remarked with a grin so wide it looked painful, before leading Aja, Maddie and Dakota down a different hallway. I nervously walked to my room, and found Grimmjow lounging on my bed, sleeping. He actually looked slightly peaceful, with his jaw relaxed and his arms folded haphazardly over the gaping hole in his stomach. As soon as I set my duffel bags down, his ears twitched and he slowly opened a ceuleran eye to stare at me.

"Oh. You're back," he stated.

"Yes. Why are you in my bed?" I demanded.

"I got bored waiting for you to get back, so I fell asleep. Your bed is damn uncomfortable," Grimmjow complained, sitting up and streatching luxuriously like a cat.

"It's not! My bed is just fine!" I protested.

"Mine's softer," Grimmjow bragged.

"Good for you. I like mine firm," I retorted. Grimmjow smirked and jumped off of my bed.

"I'll keep that in mind- now hand over your goods," he ordered.

"FUCK NO!" I retorted, my face reddening for the second time today. Yeesh…

"I ment your bags," Grimmjow muttered, walking over to me and picking the duffel bags up. "Jeez, what did you think I was talking about?"

"You know ful well-wait! That's my stuff!" I squeaked as Grimmjow upended my bag unto the bed.

"Hm… some freaky notebook… more notebooks… what the fuck is this?" Grimmjow asked, holding up the Evil Kitty Folder, a really big folder jam packed with lemons… yaoi, yuri and straight.

"DON'T OPEN IT!" I screamed, jumping on Grimmjow's back.

"Jeez _Nikky_, I didn't realize you felt that way about me," Grimmjow smirked, grabbing me by my waist and putting me on the bed. He then picked up one of my bags of Reses Pieces and sniffed it.

"Yum," Grimmjow remarked, tearing open the package and eating a mouthful.

"Stop it!" I cried angrily, picking up a cookbook and smacking Grimmjow over the head. Grimmjow ingnored me and finished off the bag, crunching kloudly. I glared, picked up a jar of peanut butter from my duffel bag and chucked it at Grijmmjow. Grimmjow caught it easily and stare at it.

"What's this?" he asked, moving to open it up.

"NO! NO MORE EATING MY FOOD GODDAMNIT!" I screamed at him. Grimmjow shrugged and pawed through the bags contents.

"What the fuck is this?" Grimmjow demanded, holding up a lighter.

"Well, what do you think it is?" I retorted. Grimmjow sniffed it , and frowned.

"It's a bomb," he said coldly.

"No, it's a lighter," I corrected. "Give it back," Grimmjow frowned.

"I'm confenscating it," he announced.

"What? You can't do that!" I exclaimed. Grimmjow smirked again , stuck the lighter into his pants pocket, and dumped out the contents of the last bag. I clenched my fsits as Grimmjow pawed though my clothes, and then pulled out my prized possession: a beautiful red and black katana, straight from Japan.

"Well," Grimmjow remarked, drawing the sword and weighing it in his hands. "Not bad for a trainer," he commented, sheathing it and sticking it in his belt next to his sword. " Everything else checks out," Grimmjow added, stalking twords the door.

"I hope you fall off of your bed!" I shouted, chucking the jar of peanutbutter at Grimmjow's head.

"Ow," Grimmjow muttered, rubbing the back of his head irritatedly. I smiled. One victory for me… and more to come…

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was sick.

Hope you have fun… I sure had fun writing this arc. So what do you all think will happen with the other bag searches? Did the other two put weapons in their bags? And what of Dakota… what is his fate? All will be revealed (hopefully) in the next chapter(s) of Bleached Armageddon!

Thank you to all who reviewed. Which was all of one.


	16. Chapter 16: Fracturar a Seguridad Parte2

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 16: Fracturar a Seguridad Parte Dos

El Dios

I drummed my fingers on my throne impatiently. Gin was late. This irritated me. Ulquiorra's report interested me about this new boy's powers, as well as the Aja girl's comments, and w wanted to deal with this issue before it drove me-

"Heya Aizen-sama!" Gin's cheerful voice rang out, jarring me from my thoughts.

"You're late," I grumbled.

"I didn't know we had a schedule to keep," Aja retorted. I sighed, glancing at the new boy, who seemed to broadcast fear. Well, it's good to know at least one of them won't give me too much trouble.

"So that's the new one," I stated.

"Yup! His name is Dakota an' the girls are really protective o' him," Gin replied, slapping the boy on the back. Or, at least he tried to, but his hand passed right through the boy's chest. I raised an eyebrow in interest.

"Oh God, that feels freaky," the boy shuddered.

"Yeah, it does," Gin agreed, pulling his hand out of the boy's back and shaking it out.

"See? Dakota's special," Aja announced, hugging the boy's arm.

"Yes! Very special," the other girl agreed, hugging the boys other arm and causing him to drop the strange device he was holding.

"Why do ya have vanilla frostin'?" Gin asked the boy, poking a brightly coloured tub with his foot.

"It's tasty," the boy replied, trying to wiggle out of the girls' grasps. I sipped my tea casually, watching the three of them squirm. Both girls seemed very protective of the boy (judging by Ulquiorra's testimony "… he'll face our wrath…"?) and his power seemed interesting.

"He can… stay," I announced. Both girls squealed loudly and the boy looked relieved.

"Yeah, but where's he gonna stay?" gin asked. "We're outta rooms,"

"What about Szayel?" I asked.

"Hello? He'll dissect Dakota!" Aja protested.

"How about he bunks with Ulqui-chan?" Gin asked. I nodded, not wanting to deal with it. I had more pressing issues.

"'Kay! Now, time fer bag searchin'!" Gin announced cheerfully.

"Here?" Aja asked.

"Yes. You seem to me to be the most likely to bring a weapon to Las Noches," I told the girl.

"Actually, Nikky is," she corrected me calmly. She showed no signs of nervousness that would imply that she had hidden weapons.

"Is that so? Well then, I'm sure Grimmjow will have an interesting search," I replied blandly, standing up. "You and the other two may leave," I added to Gin, who nodded and waltzed out. I noticed the boy left the contents of what had been in his arms on the floor.

"What is that?" I began, indicating to the box on the floor.

"It's a record player. It plays music," Aja replied.

"And you brought it because…"

"It's too quiet here," Aja finished.

"How is silence a problem? I find it rather relaxing," I demanded.

"Dude. I'm autistic. The silence bugs me," Aja replied, irritation showing in her voice. I frowned, images of Wonderwice flashing though my head. Aja must have guessed my train of thought because she shook her head and said "Not like Wonderwice. Just little things, like OCD,"

"Hn," I nodded, making a mental note to ask Szayel about which form of autism the girl had. "What's in that bag?"

"Look for yourself," Aja told me.

"Don't take that tone with me," I warned her.

"You sound like on e of my teachers," she retorted, a rebellious fire flaring up in her grey eyes. I frowned, and then an idea struck me. She probably had some of her greatest secrets hidden in those bags… I allowed a small smile to grace my lips as I walked over to where Aja's… bags were, picked one up, opened it, and dumped its contents onto the floor. Folders, books, jewelry and several round plastic objects clattered on the floor.

"Hey! Be gentle!" Aja protested, snatching up the round objects. I shrugged and picked up a random notebook. It was filled with drawings and some pieces of writing.

"Hm," I remarked. So she's a writer. Interesting. I noticed a folder with small cats emblazoned and picked it up. Aja tried to snatch it out of my grasp. I merely smirked and stepped back so that she fell on the floor. Foolish girl. Momo has tried that move several times on me.

"Don't read it!" the girl shouted. I boredly opened the folder and glanced at the material inside. There were tons of pages, all typed in small print. I sighed and set the folder aside.

"I'll read it later… next bag," I announced. Aja picked herself up, glared at me and proceeded to put things back into the first bag. I frowned and began tapping my foot impatiently. The girl's pace did not change, bug she was almost done, so it didn't matter. Finally, I stalked over and opened the second bag. The first thing I saw was a canister of some brown substance.

"What is this?" I demanded.

"Peanut butter," Aja replied.

"Alright…" I sighed, tossing it aside. It didn't seem dangerous (A/N: Aizen obviously hasn't talked to Grimmjow…). In this bag were blankets, clothing and a puffy brown toy bear.

"Why do you have a child's toy?" I asked.

"'Cuz it's squishy and fluffy and I like it," Aja replied. I sighed and threw the toy back into the bag. Part of me was relieved, and part of me was disappointed that the girl didn't have any weapons. Unless they were hidden… even if they were, what could she do though? It's not like she could fight an Espada, let alone Gin, Tousen or I.

"You may leave," I announced. Aja rolled her eyes.

"Thank you your highness," she muttered sarcastically, picking up her bags. The toy bear fell out of one bag as Aja left. And then it sat there. Staring at me.

I did not like that toy.

About five minutes later, Aja rushed back in and took the plushy back with her. I sighed once again, and ordered more tea.

TEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEAT

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom.

Hello. Welcome to the 16th chapter.

Hahah… Aizen fears the teddy bear. You all will understand later! Heheh…

And pay attention to the Szayel comment.

Next chapter: Gin's unique methods of bag searching… Please review!


	17. Chapter 17 :Fracturar a Seguridad Parte3

And now… for another thrilling installation of Bleached Armageddon!

By your favorite fanfiction authouress of darkness: Inuyoshie!

Grimmjow: You suck! Nobody likes you!

Me: Shut up Grimmy, or Nikky will spike your tea with catnip!

Grimmjow: *growls threateningly*

Chapter 17: Fracturar a Seguridad Ultima Parte

La Sonrisa

I showed Dakota to Ulqui-chan's room cheerfully.

"Here ya go! Try not ta get laid!" I warned the poor kid cheerfully. He turned bright red and walked into the room stiffly. I chuckled, and heard Maddie sigh.

"You shouldn't tease him like that… Dakota's a sensitive guy," she chided me.

"Eh Maddie, that's the angriest ya've gotten with me," I remarked.

"OhmygoshdidIoffendI'msosorryI'msosorryareyoumadatmeI'msorry-

I burst out laughing. She looked so funny! Her face was all red and her eyes were wide and she was kinda bowing rapidly.

"'S okay," I chuckled, opening the door to my rom. "C'mon in," Maddie walked in, awe on her face.

"Eh? My room ain' that spectacular," I remarked.

"Yes… but it has so many books!" Maddie squeaked.

"Aw this? This is nothin', ya should see Souske-sama's personal library. Now that's amazin'," I stated, taking her bags and putting them on my bed. One of the bags looked different from the others.

"What's that?" I asked.

"That's my mom's laptop. Nicole brought hers too. I need it so that I'm not bored," Maddie explained. "It's not a weapon,"

"Well, ya could try ta hit me on th' back o' my head when I'm not lookin'," I pointed out.

"Yes… but then I'd break the laptop. If I wanted to do that, I'd use a dictionary," Maddie muttered, rubbing the casing of the laptop lovingly.

"True," I smiled, opening up one bag. Inside of the bag were stacks and piles of paper and notebooks. The papers were barely held in by a falling apart folder and the brightly coloured notebooks looked slightly worn and bent. Various other odds and ends were tucked in here and there, including clothing, jewelry, a bottle of some strange and interesting smelling oil, several multi-coloured boxes and a random jar of orange stuff labeled 'Orange Marmalade'.

"What is this?" I asked, opening the jar and sniffing its contents.

"It's orange marmalade," she replied. "It's a kind of jam,"

"Oh," I shrugged, scooping up a finger-full of it out and eating it. It was sweet and tangy, with orange rinds in it. "Yum!" (A/N: If any of you have read Another Note: The Los Angeles Files, it's like how Beyond Birthday eats jam.)

"You can have it," Maddie told me, digging through another bag and pulling out a box labeled Earl Grey Tea and a package labeled 'Zero'. "These are for you as well,"

"Eh, Souske's more into tea than I am," I remarked, sniffing the Zero package. It smelled sweet.

"That's candy. It's white chocolate and nougat," Maddie informed me.

"Ooh," I nodded, opening the next bag. In here were several balls of soft and fuzzy yarn and yet more clothing. Running though the clothes, I felt something hard. I pushed the shirts away and saw a French cleaver hidden in the folds of a black shirt that said 'Bite Me'.

"Hm… this is interestin'," I remarked, pulling the knife out. Maddie raised her eyebrows, but otherwise kept her face blank.

"So, why'd ya feel the need ta bring a knife?" I asked casually.

"Self defense," Maddie responded, her cheeks turning pink. As if she could fight of an Espada with a kitchen utensil…

"And who do ya think would attack ya?" I prodded on. Perhaps she was threatened… that would make some sense.

"I don't know, anyone could. I have no way of knowing whose friend or whose foe here," Maddie replied.

"Are ya usually this paranoid?" I wanted to know. Maddie shrugged.

"It depends. And besides, paranoid people tend to live longer," she told me. "If you want to confiscate it, I understand,"

"Naw, ya can keep it. Jus' don' do anythin' stupid with it, 'kay?" I advised, sticking the knife back in. "An' if anyone bugs ya, lemme know,"

"Uh… thank you?" Maddie asked, sounding unsure and taking her bags.

"Ya sound surprised! I'm nice! Aren't I?" I demanded.

"Yes, you're very nice. That's… weird for around here. And everyone else says you're scary," Maddie pointed out.

"I know I am." I replied cheerily.

"Yes… I just wish Nikky and Ashi got the same treatment," Maddie sighed.

"Aw, don' worry yer head off. Grimmy may be mean, but he's actually pretty nice under it all… an' Souske can be a real gentleman when he feels like it," I assured the girl.

"You sound like you're trying to hook them up," Maddie accused me. … Ya know… that ain' a bad idea… I grinned widely. "I'm scared now. I'll be in my room,"

With that, Maddie left my room to go play with Sophie, leaving me to my evil thoughts.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay, the bag searching is done! Woot!

Next chapter will have some more fun with Dakota… so y'all can learn more about him. Besides his obsession with Death Note, chicken and vanilla icing.

Please be kind and drop in a review!


	18. Chapter 18: No Dormiras en el Suelo!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. Hell, I don't even own a Gameboy! Ay… I need to get out more…

Chapter 18: No duerma en el suelo

Las Lágrimas

I was at my desk writing a report when the door to my quarters opened. I stood up, irritated by the interruption. That boy from earlier wandered in, looking a little flustered.

"Why is it so white…" he trailed off, apparently not noticing me.

"Because Aizen-sama wishes for it to be so," I replied. The boy jumped, obviously startled, and fell to the floor. "What are you doing in my quarters?"

"U-uh Aizen-sama said I'm supposed to stay here," he answered, standing up and dusting himself off (as if I would allow such a filthy thing as dust to exist on my floor…).

"And where do you expect to sleep?" I demanded.

"Uh… the floor," the boy replied, glancing around nervously. I inwardly sighed. Ichimaru has obviously been spreading rumors that I'm a sexual deviant. Tch. How Aizen-sama puts up with that trash is beyond me.

"I'm assuming that Aizen-sama is placing you under my care, and if he is doing so, if any harm is done to your body, I will be punished. You will sleep on the bed," I told the boy coldly.

"The floor's not bad! Nothing like good old' hard wood-"(A/N: Not like that you perverts)

"It's marble," I corrected the boy.

"Fine. Nothing like cool marble to put someone to sleep," he told me cheerfully. I sighed audibly and sat down in my desk, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Do you require anything?" I asked, anticipating the nagging that the boy would give me, as the girls did.

"Uh… I need some clothes, and my Death Note stuff," the boy replied.

"Death Note?" I asked.

"Yes. IT's an amazing anime," he replied, his eyes lighting up.

"Hn," I replied. The boy stared at me for several minutes.

"Uh… are you okay?" he asked me.

"Yes, I am fine," I replied. "Is that all?"

"I still need my stuff," the boy pointed out.

"Obviously," I retorted, standing up. "Do not leave this room while I am gone,"

"Or else what?" the boy challenged.

"There will be punishment," I threatened, walking out of the room.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Yo!

Thank you for reading this. More stuff on Dakota will come next chapter.

I always imagined Ulquiorra sounding like Snape from Harry Potter for some odd reason. Although I don't mind the English dub actor they have for him. That's not badly done, although Ulquiorra sounds very feminine. Oh well… l like pretty boys!

Please review. It makes me happy, and keeps the chapters coming!


	19. Chapter 19: Una Mala Idea

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie… who, in case y'all didn't know, doesn't own Bleach.

Chapter 19: Una Idea Mala

La Luna

His first mistake was telling me not to leave his room.

Scratch that- his first mistake was leaving me alone. His second mistake was telling me not to leave.

So naturally, I left. I wandered around the big, white building I was in, searching for an end to all of the whiteness. It was too freakin' white!

Wandering around, I soon got lost. Everything looked the same! I got a few weird looks from other people (arrancars, I think) but ignored them. Just when I was starting to get used to this, I was startled by Aja.

"Yo! Tsuke! What are you doing?" she asked me

"Uh, looking for colour," I replied. Aja shoved a stack of papers that had multicoloured swirlies on them.

"Look no further than this stack. Can ya help me put this on the doors?" she asked me, sticking one on a door.

"Ookay… why?" I asked, complying.

"'Cuz it'll piss off Aizen," Aja replied.

"Are you crazy? That dude's frickin' scary!" I retorted.

"Exactly!" Aja grinned. I sighed and placed a spiral-y sheet of paper on a wall.

"Yeah… I think you've lost your marbles," I remarked.

"Nope. I sold them on E-bay," Aja corrected me. I gave Aja a weird look out of the corner of my eye and went back to my work.

"Uh… Aja? I should leave before Ulquiorra-"

"Before I what?" a cold voice interrupted me. My heart sped up as I turned around to see Ulquiorra standing behind me, looking thourally pissed.

"Uh-oh, my! I think I hear Aizen-san calling! Bye!" Aja said suddenly, dashing off. It took all of my self control not to laugh. But Ulquiorra's death glare helped with that matter…

"I believe I told you that you are to remain in my quarters, correct?" he asked me icily.

"Yes," I replied, my voice surprisingly strong.

"Then why did you disobey my orders?" Ulquiorra demanded.

"I was bored," I replied. Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes, grabbed my wrist and pulled me down several halls back into his/our room. I looked up at Ulquiorra cautiously.

"So… what is my punishment?" I asked, my mind suddenly and unwillingly skipping to that Gin guy's comment to me before he left. Punishment can me a hell of a lot of things, many of which are kinky.

"You may not be in possession of your 'Death Note' objects," Ulquiorra told me coldly, placing a large black bag into a closet and locking the door.

"What!" I demanded, outraged. "You can't do that!"

"I just did," Ulquiorra replied evenly. Was I dreaming, or was there a twinge of satisfaction in his voice? I glared holes into the back of Ulquiorra's head as he went back to his paper work. Why did he have so much paperwork anyway?

"Curse you, L-lookalike," I muttered murderously under my breath as I flopped onto his/our bed. It was unbelievingly soft, like falling onto a cloud (without getting wet). It was getting pretty late too (I think). Oh well. I slowly closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep, plotting my vengeance upon the evil L-lookalike.

MARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLESMARBLES

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Thank you for reading.

Thank you also to all who reviewed (which for the record was one. Come on people, we can do better than that!)

Doesn't Ulquiorra at least look slightly like L? They both look dead at least…

Please review!


	20. Chapter 20: Silencio! Estoy Durmiendo!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 20: Silencio! Estoy Durmiendo!

Las Lágrimas

That boy finally fell asleep. He was staring at me for a good half an hour, which was very distracting. I capped my pen and rearranged my papers meticulously, stalling for time. All of the lights in this room would turn off soon, indicating time to sleep.

I personally do not sleep much- perhaps two or three hours. I do not need to sleep as much as a human, so I don't. However, I'm ordered by Aizen-sama to sleep a minimum of two hours. So, I must sleep. With… this boy.

I glanced at the boy casually. He was fast asleep, in a sitting position. His head was bowed down and his glasses were almost off of his face. As long as he remained quiet, the boy shouldn't cause me too much trouble.

The lights flickered out. I sighed inwardly and climbed onto my bed. The boy blinked, and sat up in the darkness drowsily.

"Wha-what?" he asked, confused. I did not reply, folding my arms behind me head. He then shrugged and settled back in bed. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind, willing sleep to come. It eventually did, to the rhythm of the boy's breathing.

Psíquica

I had to get it back.

I'd spend a good amount of time, effort, begging and chores getting that sword. It was my prized possession. And I was going to get it back.

My plan involved precision and patience. I had to wait until Grimmjow was asleep or out of his room, sneak in, steal the katana and hide it. When he asks where my katana went, I'll lie. Or blame someone else, I don't know which.

So night fell. I couldn't actually tell, except my brain told me that it was about 9:30 – 10:00. There were no clocks here, which slightly bugged me (it bugged Maddie even more). The lights however, would turn off around ten.

The lights flickered out. I lay in my bed, listening. After I didn't hear any movement coming from Grimmjow's room, I opened the door a crack and saw Grimmjow sprawled on his bed. I softly snuck into the Espada's room, scanning the room for my katana. Grimmjow stirred, and I froze. He turned over and went back to sleep. I exhaled (quietly) in relief, and resumed my search.

After five minutes of fruitless searching, I realized where my katana was.

Grimmjow was sleeping with it tucked into his pants.

"Aw fuck," I whispered my heart pounding. I crept closer to Grimmjow's bed, my head spinning. I should stop. I really should. But some maniac side of my mind kept egging me on. Keep on doing it. You can grab it…

I walked up to Grimmjow's bed and leaned over, trying to grab it without getting onto the bed. Unfortunately, the damn Grimm-kitty's bed was just too damn big for me to do that, so I'd have to get onto the bed to get my katana.

I cautiously placed a knee on Grimmjow's bed, and then another. I stretched my body across Grimmjow's, holding my breath and sucking in my stomach as not to wake the man up. I had to widen my stance to maintain my balance, and eventually ended up scooting closer to Grimmjow until my knee was touching his leg. I was hovering directly over him, my hand grasping my prize when Grimmjow's eyes snapped open.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Okay, so I smerged two chapters into one. The second one was going to be titled "Nikky es un ninja" or something along the lines of that. I'd have to look up 'Ninja' in Spanish.

Thank you for all of the reviews! In fact, please review now…


	21. Chapter 21: Quiero Dormir Contigo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 21: Quiero Dormir Contigo

El Rey

I was wondering when she'd come.

See, I figured that Nicole would come to get her sword back. So, I hid the sword on my person. I was hoping I could use it as some leverage against her so that she would leave me alone for some time and not bug me. My reasoning was that she wouldn't be stupid enough to try to steal it from me while I was sleeping.

I was wrong.

Well, not that I minded. I mean, she wasn't bad looking, and you'd have to be gayer than Szayel to mind waking up to a girl on top of you.

I pushed Nicole onto the bed next to me, ignoring her squeak of protest.

"So… what did you think you were doing?" I whispered into her ear, feeling her shudder.

"Um… I… was…uh, getting my, uh… sword back?" She stammered her blue-green eyes wide. I grinned bearing teeth and savouring her fear. Wow, she's actually scared… I guess I'm lucky she didn't wear much to bed-

/What was that? / Nicole's voice snapped in my head.

"Bastard! You're sick! You probably planned this to get me in your bed!" Nicole yelled at me. "Pedophile!"

"I am NOT!" I retorted.

"Yes you are! I'm only sixteen! You're like what? A million?"

"Am NOT!" I growled, tempted to rip her throat out. That bitch…

"Ya know, if you kill me, won't Aizen be pissed?" Nicole asked coyly. My eyes flashed and I stomped out of my room to compose myself. That bitch was right. I'm already on thin ice with Aizen as it is, and killing that bitch would only get me killed. I paced back and forth in the hall, internally fuming. After ten minutes or so, I stomped back into my room.

"Look woman-" No. That sounds too much like Schiffer.

"Look girl-" Wait. Pedophile? No.

"Look Nicole-" Wait. Too nice. Ahh!

"Look Bitch, I'm sorry," I grumbled. And then I waited. There was silence. "Bitch?" I asked tentatively. Still not answer. I walked over to my bed and saw Nicole curled up in my bed, sleeping. Sleeping… on my bed…

I exhaled angrily and sat down next to her. She groaned softly and turned over, curling up next to my leg. I yawned and slid down so that I was on my back and fell asleep.

AWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWWAWW

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay double posts! So yes… I finished that part. More fluffiness.

Aah… I looked ahead, and Dakota's next big part is going to settle him with his man. I can't wait! *dances happily*

Please make me happy and review? Yaay!

Off topic: Did anyone watch the horse race today? It was epic! Yeah, all those boy horses got beaten by a Philly! Woot! Okay, sorry. On with reviewing now?


	22. Chapter 22: Cocino Desayuno

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own anything. This fact saddens me.

Chapter 22: Cocino Desayuno

El Siquiatra

"I got 'em!"

I groggily lifted my head out of my covers only to have pictures of Grimmjow and Nicole cuddling each other shoved in my face.

"Well Ichimaru-san, you've been busy," I remarked dryly, stretching.

"Yep! Ain' they so cute?" Gin gushed. "Our little Grimmy got 'imself a girlfriend!"

"They probably just fell asleep together," I dismissed Gin casually. "Nikky hates Grimmy,"

"Ya don' just 'fall asleep together'," Gin told me sternly. "He coulda' forced 'er or somethin',"

"I doubt it. Look how relaxed they are! And besides, we would've heard it if Grimmjow did… something like that," I replied, getting up. It was too early to be thinking.

"Well, yer grouchy," Gin commented, snapping up his pictures.

"It's too early to be thinking straight… straightly… correctly-"

"Ya know, it's 9:30," Gin interrupted my butchering of the English language. "Ya missed breakfast,"

"Dammit!" I randomly yelled. My stomach then let out a long growl. Gin burst out laughing, and I frowned at him. "Not funny!"

"'s okay, ya can jus' go into th' kitchen an' make yerself some food," gin snorted, slowly stopping his laughter.

"But Sophie…" I trailed off.

"Ah don' worry, I'll watch 'er," Gin assured me with a flap of his hand. That made me even more concerned.

"Oh that's fine, I'll just take Sophie with me," I told Gin cheerfully, hoisting Sophie (who ran in as soon as she heard I was awake) onto my shoulders.

"Ya, but kids can git hurt in the kitch'n," Gin pointed out. I shrugged.

"It will provide a wonderful learning experience," I grinned, running out of the room, heading for the kitchen. At least I could find the kitchen…

I opened two wide doors and entered a bustling room filled with food, stoves and arrancar. A few of them looked at me, but then carried on with their business, leaving a stove open for me.

I made myself some eggs. I missed my mom's eggs. She made a kickass omelet… when I cut up the cheese for the eggs, tears came to my eyes. As I stirred the eggs, Aja came in.

"Hey! Ruki! Check out what Nikky was doing last night!" she exclaimed, showing me a picture.

"I know, I woke up to Ichimaru-san shoving them up my nose," I replied dryly, turning off the stove. "Want some?"

"Nah, I already had breakfast," Aja replied. "So, how have yous been?"

"Alive," I answered readily.

"Better than the alternative," Aja finished with a grin. "Have you seen Tsuke?"

"No," I replied. "How have he and Ulqui-san been holding up?"

"Eh… I'm trying to decide whether to hook them up," Aja told me, musing.

"Ashi, matchmaking is a dangerous business. And besides, Ulquiorra's so emo!" I told her. "I can't see them getting together. Also, how do you know Dakota's gay?"

"Trust me. It's a lesbian thing," Aja told me seriously. I looked at her strangely.

"Still, matchmaking is bad," I muttered. Once Aja starts matchmaking, all hell breaks loose. Thank God I'm safe. There's absolutely no way she could twist things so that some guy (Gin would be the most likely target and he's too cool to like someone like me) likes me…

"So… have you been torturing Aizen-sama?" I asked quickly, hoping to steer Aja off of a dangerous topic.

"Oh yeah. I've been putting up pieces of paper with sparkly squiggles on them so that everything isn't so white, and he keeps taking them down. I swear he's OCD or something," Aja grinned manically. "And I keep putting them back up!"

"You know, if you go too far, he'll kill you," I pointed out.

"Oh, I'll be careful," Aja assured me "What should I do today? Steal his books? Replace all of his tea with coffee?"

"That would be funny," I admitted. "But you'd die,"

"Yes, but I'd die laughing," Aja retorted.

"Crazy. You're just plain-"

CRASH!

We both turned to see Sophie with a pile of pots and pans around her. Several arrancar were watching in awe and fear.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"That small human is causing chaos," one announced.

'I'm sorry, we'll leave," I replied, with a few (A/N: more like fifty) apologies. And doing so, I did something I could not have done: leave Aja alone with a dangerous idea.

COFFEETEACOFFEEETEACOFFEETEACOFFEETEACOFFEETEACOFFEETEACOFFEETEACOFFEETEACOFFEETEA

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Ooooh… Aja's gonna be dangerous!

Next chapter is going to be funny. So says I. In this story, I am God.

Aizen: No I am!

Me: No, I am!

Aizen: No, I am!

Pein: Shut up both of you, I'm God!

Aizen and Me: You're not even in this fanfic!

Me: Please review!

Aizen: Or I will smite you.

Pein: Wow…


	23. Chapter 23: Pruebe el Cafe

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 23: Pruebe el Café

El Dios

I was in a foul mood.

At three o' clock in the morning, I heard instrumental music coming from Aja's room. When I passed through the halls later, I saw random gaudy pieces of paper littered my nice neat hallways. Various arrancar were passing around pictures of Nicole and Grimmjow sleeping together and somebody (most likely Gin) drew on Tousen's visor… again…

Also, someone replaced Szayel's shampoo with chartreuse hair dye. Luckily, he was no longer blue, but he was still screaming none the less.

And I had to deal with it. It's like being surrounded by bloody toddlers.

"Hey Souske-sama… ya look tired an' it's only 10:30," Gin commented, slinking into my throne room. I rubbed my temples irritatedly.

"It has been a long day," I answered. "Where's my tea?"

"Ah, I think there was a mi'hap in the kitch'n," Gin drawled lazily. "Aja's bringin' it,"

"Joy," I muttered sarcastically.

"I wonder wha' she's gonna put in it," Gin mused. Great. My trickster is actually expecting Aja to sabotage my tea. That does not bode well.

As I thought this, Aja waltzed in, wearing black pants and an orange shirt.

"What happened to the uniform I sent you?" I demanded.

"It fell out my window," Aja answered. I frowned.

"Your room doesn't have a window," I pointed out coldly.

"Well, all I know is that it fell out a window, so I can't wear it," Aja finished. I glared at the girl.

"Hn. Just give me my tea," I ordered, my headache getting worse.

"'Kay," Aja grinned, pouring me a cup. She also had a cup, and was dumping sugar in it. I wrinkled my nose (sugar detracts from the taste) and took a sip of my tea.

Whatever it was, it was NOT tea.

It was butter, strong, and made my nose burn. I spat the mouthful out and glared at Aja, who had a wide grin on her face. I could hear Gin snickering in the bathroom and seriously considered killing them.

"Oops! I must've given you coffee instead of tea," Aja commented cheerfully.

"Coffee?" I repeated coldly, eyeing the cup suspiciously. "Is it some kind of poison?"

"No. It's tea's evil cousin," Aja answered me, backing out of the room tactfully.

I sighed and took another tentative sip of the coffee. Now that I was expecting it, it wasn't so bad. It had a deep, rich flavour to it.

"Ya like it? I do," Gin announced a cup of his own in hand. "Don' give it ta li'l kids though Sophie-chan was bouncin' off th' walls when I gave her some,"

"You gave a child coffee?" I asked, almost unbelieving. Then again, this was Gin.

I was starting to feel a buzz, stronger than the one I got from tea, zipping through my veins. This buzz was all that kept me from killing Szayel when he asked to go to the human world to get dye; Grimmjow when he was running around denying rumours that he had impregnated Nicole and Tousen when he began ranting about justice. However, by eight thirty, I was exhausted. This bothered me. I am God! God doesn't get tired!

Now that I was irritated, I decided to go to my personal library to read a book and calm down.

Luckily, no gaudy papers were in my library. NO gaudy papers, no coffee, no grinning Gin waiting around the corner. (A/N: This makes one wonder what Gin has done in the past to make Aizen so paranoid! XP)

As I turned a corner, I noticed something odd. Aja was curled up by a bookshelf with a huge book in her lap. She was fast asleep, her glasses almost off of her nose and her hair draping like a curtain around her face. She didn't stir as I approached, allowing me to read the title of her book. It was _Human Psychology through the Ages. _Hm. Interesting.

Carefully, I picked her up and put her in her room. It looks like I'd have a peaceful night of sleep….

El Bronista

It's 2:00 AM. I don't know how I got in my room, but I think it's time to do some  
crocheting to 'A Summer Place'!

COFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUMCOFFEEYUM

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

I liked this chapter. IT's so much fun messing with Aizen. By the way, the line about 'it falling out a window' is randomly quoted by myself and my co-authors. It's amazing. It's almost as good as the sexy quote, which happens in several chapters.

Next chapter…

"What are you doing?" I asked, scanning the room. Everything outside of a three yard radius was darkness.

"Conducting research," Szayel replied lightly, my gaze automatically fell on a table, filled with nasty looking scalpels and one weird thingi with a spiral on top.

"Is that a corkscrew?" I blurted.

"Why yes it is," Szayel replied…

Wanna know what happens next? Review!


	24. Chapter 24 :Ciencias?

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach.

Chapter 24: Ciencias?

La Luna

"Boy,"

…

"Boy…"

…

"Boy get up,"

"… I don't wanna," I groaned, flopping over on the bed. I felt something cold grab the back of my neck and lift me up. I groggily opened my eyes and stared into Ulquiorra's pissed off green ones.

"Wha?" I demanded sleepily.

"You're being transferred," Ulquiorra announced, dropping me on my ass.

"Ow! Wait, where? What?" I demanded, getting up.

"Szayel Aporro Granz wishes to observe one of you five. Since the small child is viciously guarded by her mother-"

"Older sister," I corrected. Ulquiorra glared at me.

"… And the other two would be too violent to experiment on, thus leaving you," he finished.

"So I'm going to be experimented on?" I demanded.

"Yes. Take your things," Ulquiorra ordered. Frowning, I picked up the big black bag that had all of my worldly possessions.

"So where is this Szay-er-whatever-his-name-is live?" I asked.

"Follow me," Ulquiorra ordered me. I sighed and followed him. At least I wouldn't have to put up with this scary L-look-alike anymore…

Ulquiorra lead me down a pale white hall (aren't they all? God, Aizen has some serious OCD issues…) and stopped in front of a door. The door opened, and two blobby things stood in the doorway.

"What the hell?" I demanded.

"Those are two of Szayel's fracción," Ulquiorra answered.

"Nn. More Spanish," I muttered.

"_Callese_!" Ulquiorra snapped. "I need to see Szayel,"

"Szayel Aporro-sama! Szayel Aporro-sama!" the blobby things chanted, bouncing up and down alternately into a room. After a minute or two, a tall man (I think) with bright pink hair, rectangular glasses and pretty golden eyes stepped out.

"Do what do I owe the… pleasure?" the creepy man asked Ulquiorra… well… creepily.

"This is the specimen you've been bothering Aizen-sama about," Ulquiorra answered.

"Specimen? You make me sound like a bacterial culture in a frickin' Petri dish!" I bristled.

"I told you. He's a scientist," Ulquiorra informed me.

"Actually, you didn't," I pointed out.

"I assumed you could infer-"

"And you know what they say about assuming; it makes an ass out of you and me," I interjected.

"Insolent trash," Ulquiorra snapped. "If Aizen-sama-"

"Not that this conversation isn't amusing, but Schiffer, I'll have to ask you to leave. I've got research to conduct," Szayel announced. Great. More research. Much to my despair, Ulquiorra complied and walked away.

"My my, you're an interesting specimen," Szayel remarked, circling me in a vulture-like fashion. "Follow me,"

Nervously, I followed the feminine-looking scientist into a dark room. HE flipped a switch and several lights came on, illuminating an examination circle and indicating that I should it on it. I did a nervous feeling in my stomach.

"What are you doing?" I asked, scanning the room. Everything outside a three yard radius was darkness.

"Conducting research," Szayel replied lightly. My gaze automatically fell onto a tray next to the examination table, filled with nasty looking scalpels and one weird thingi with a spiral on top.

"Is that a corkscrew?" I blurted.

"Why, yes it is," Szayel replied calmly. "What is your name?"

"Dakota Manier," I replied, still nervous. Szayel scribbled something on a clipboard and nodded encouragingly.

"Age?" he prodded.

"16," I answered. "Why are you asking so many questions?"

"I'm a scientist," Szayel replied. "Do you have any relatives?"

"Uh… I've got a mom and a dad and a little sister," I replied. Why did he need to know that? Let me think… what is the scientific process? Let's see… observe, form a hypothesis, perform an experiment to test the hypothesis… arg! I'm going to be hacked apart like a chicken!

"You do realize that Aizen-sama has forbidden me from inflicting bodily harm," Szayel announced craftily. "That is, unless you volunteer,"

"I think I'll decline," I replied. Szayel actually looked disappointed. "How did you know?"

"You were staring at my scalpel set, sweating, and according to my measurements, the adrenaline levels in your blood increased 35%- DAMMIT!" Szayel swore, typing on his ginormous computer. "They're being destroyed!"

"What are?" I asked, interested.

"The nanobots in your bloodstream! They keep on being destroyed!" Szayel grumbled.

"Immune system?" I suggested helpfully.

"I know that! I just haven't' studies the human immune system," Szayel growled at me.

"It utilizes white blood cells, B-cells and T-cells," I answered, feeling proud that I knew something Szayel didn't. Hey, I didn't score better than 99% of the nation in science tests for nothing!

"Hm… I need a blood sample then…" Szayel announced.

"Why didn't you get one when you injected the nanobots?" I wanted to know. Szayel moved his hand from a nice, small syringe to a huge one and gave me a wide smile.

"I was busy," he replied.

Now, I'm NOT AT ALL scared of needles, but my body involuntarily went stiff as the crazy scientist approached me with a syringe the size of New York!

"Try and relax," he told me in a creepy voice that I'm guessing is his version of soothing. I turned bright red as a perverted meaning to that sentence flashed through my head (A/N: Damn hormones! Then again… he is male…). Szayel looked d a little confused, but then rolled up my sleeve and stuck my arm expertly. It hurt a little, so I winced and watched with morbid fascination as the syringe filled with my blood.

"So... how often do you have to take blood?" I asked cautiously. "Mr.…"

"You'll refer to me as 'Szayel Aporro-sama, as my fracción do, and… whenever necessary," Szayel answered.

"'Szayel Aporro-sama? That's a mouthful," I muttered. Szayel shrugged and turned back to his computer, clicking the keys on some huge keyboard thing, and looking at my blood under a microscope. I watched the scientist in fascination.

At least now I'm somewhere interesting…

SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom, marshmallow peeps and SCIENCE!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Now you know who I'm pairing Dakota with.

Man… Szayel is fun to write. Him and Gin. They have to be my favourite people to write in this story so far. Then again… that may change.

In fact, at the current moment, in the longhand version, there is no Gin. I feel so horrible! No Gin! His accent is amazingly fun to write! Nyaah!

My co author suggested I have Maddie talk like Gin when she gets drunk. That is a distinct possibility…

Well, please review! Also, Callese means 'silence yourself' in Spanish.


	25. Chapter 25: Hice al Dios Caerse

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 25: Hice a Dios Caerse

El Bronista

I decided I'd turn off the record player around 10:00 in the morning. By now, I had crocheted a huge pile of crochet thread, and was starting to get bored.

So casually, I stepped out of my room. I wandered about until I reached a wide open space, probably used for sparring judging b y the scorch marks that scarred the floor.

I heard thee clicking of boots and looked up. Ulquiorra was stalking down the opposite hall. His frown deepened when he saw me.

"Ulqui! Ulqui!" I exclaimed, running over to him.

"What do you require?" he demanded drily.

"Can you hold the end of this and walk back?" I asked.

"Why?" he demanded.

"To see how long it is," I replied. "Ple~ease? I won't bug you anymore all day!"

"… Fine," he muttered after a few moments. He took the string and walked backwards until he hit the wall. He hadn't even pulled the string taunt, so it lay, practically invisible on the black ground.

It was at that moment that Aizen happened to turn a corner, and I accidentally jerked the line up… and… BANG! I looked down and saw something that no one will probably ever see... Aizen flat on his face.

"A-Aizen-sama!" Ulquiorra stammered as Aizen sat up, rubbing his face. I had to act.

"A-Aizen-sama! Ulqui here was stealing my crochet I'm so sorry!" I fake sobbed. God, I love acting.

Aizen stood, picked up my crochet, and incinerated it with some blast. Wordlessly, he walked off.

That took me **8 HOURS **to make. 8 hours! I glared at Aizen's back. There are many things in this world you don't do. And one of them… is mess with an Urquhart. I don't care if Aizen thinks he's God… I will prove him wrong and avenge my crochet!

So, I went for help. And who better to help me with my quest for vengeance than the other trickster in Las Noches, Gin. I stuck my head into his room and observed mountains of paper staked in his room. Gin currently was folding an origami scorpion on his desk.

"… Do I want to know?" I wondered aloud.

"Souske gave 'em ta me," Gin answered, setting the scorpion aside. "Ta keep me outta trouble,"

"Right..." I trailed off.

"So, how can I help ya?" Gin demanded.

"Well…"

WEWON'TSTOPUNTILSOMEBODYCALLSTHECOPSANDEVENTHENWE'LLSTARTAGAINANDJUSTPRETENDTHATNOTHINGEVERHAPPENED!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Oh my goodness… what will happen next hmm? Will Gin help Aja extract her vengeance on Aizen? Or does he have other plans in mind…

And what is with that paper?

Okay, the paper question will be answered in a series of one-shot/drabbles my best co-author (who actually did the crochet string line thing once at lunch) is writing. I'm writing a few too. If any of you have any ideas for them, I'm all ears. Also, if you think 'hey, I haven't seen one of our protagonists bother this arrancar recently' and want me to shove that into the story, I will.

But ya gotta review!


	26. Chapter 26: Dibujas Malas

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie, who may be beastly, but she owns no Bleach.

Chapter 26: Dibujas Malas

El Dios (Aizen)

"And then, she had the gall to lie to me and blame Ulquiorra!" I finished.

"She needs to be shown justice," Tousen nodded. I sighed. Tousen was one of the only people who wouldn't talk about my fall to other people. I inwardly cursed myself for being so foolish as to permit myself to fall down.

"Gin was bad enough," I muttered, taking a sip of tea. (And this time, I make sure it was tea.) As soon as I said this, Gin came marching in. I sighed again. Yes, I trusted this man, but some days are just too much.

"Yes?" I asked.

"These girls know more than they let on," Gin announced in a sing-song-y voice. He then thrust a stack of papers into my lap. I looked at them in absolute horror.

There were pictures. Detailed pictures… of me and that ryoga Kurosaki Ichigo kissing. And hugging… and in other various compromising positions. Thankfully, there was no full nudity, but it was still disturbing. Then after that, there were similar pictures of Gin and I. And then of Gin and Kira. And then of that Quincy boy and Szayel!

"Where did you get these?" I demanded, venom dripping from my voice.

"Eh, from Maddie's sketchbook," Gin replied casually. "Heheh… she's gonna flip when she finds out they're gone-"

"GIN YOU TRAITOR!" someone screamed from a nearby hall.

"It's what I do!" Gin replied as Aja raced in, snatched the pictures from me and glared at Gin, who was doubled over in laughter. "Don't mention this to Ruki!"

"Why not?" Gin asked. Aja didn't answer. She just ran away.\

_Later at the Espada meeting_

"What the fuck Aizen? Why the fuck didn't you tell us you were sleeping with that Kurosaki bastard?" Grimmjow demanded, slamming an incriminating picture of me on the table. To my absolute horror, almost every Espada had some pictures.

"And who on earth is this bespectacled boy? Not that he isn't handsome…" Szayel trailed off. We all stared at him.

"Hah! I finally have proof that Szayel's gay!" Nnoitera screeched joyously.

"You do all know those are just drawings…" I remarked. "I am NOT sleeping with Kurosaki… or Gin,"

"What about that blonde guy Fox-face was with?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Eh... someone," Gin grinned.

"How did these get released?" I demanded.

"Well… they were in the mess hall…" Yami pointed out. Stark's snoring suddenly stopped.

"Eh? What's going on?" he asked sleepily.

"Aizen-sama's gay!" Nnoitera announced.

"I'M NOT!" I snapped, glaring at the offending Espada.

"Silence yourself trash," Ulquiorra glowered at Nnoitera.

"Wha' I find interestin' is how Maddie knew wha' that Shinigami looked like," Gin drawled.

"They're all spies from the Soul Society," Ulquiorra suggested.

"Aja sees premonitions…" I mused. "So she has an excuse,"

"I don't think Nicole knows," Grimmjow announced. "But she's psychic… so…"

"And the boy?" I asked Szayel.

"I don't know," Szayel admitted. "I don't believe so,"

"So that leaves Maddie… the person who drew the pictures and the only one without an alibi," Ulquiorra mused.

"I'll investigate 'er!" Gin shrugged. "It'll be fun!"

"… Right," I nodded. "I'll expect results tomorrow morning,"

"Yes sir!" Gin saluted me and cheerfully sauntered out of the meeting room.

GASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASP

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Hohoh! The shit has officially hit the fan!

Otherwise known as NEVER TRUST GIN TO HELP YOU GET BACK AT AIZEN!

Let me rephrase that: NEVER TRUST GIN!

Please review! You'll lessen the torture poor Maddie's gonna have to endure…


	27. Chapter 27: Tiempo de la Interrigacion

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie, an authouress who should indeed be feared. (Especially when she is given white chocolate)

Chapter 27: Tiempo de la Interrogación!

La Sonrisa (Gin ^_^)

I haven't interrogated anyone in a while. This is gonna be a lot of fun!

Ya see, I don't go about interrogating people the normal way (corkscrews, ect.). I take a different (and more amusing approach.

When I came into Maddie's room, she was frantic. She didn't even notice my entrance; she was so busy digging through her notebooks. Probably looking for her drawings… I smiled widely and pulled said drawings out of my sleeves.

"Hey, ya lookin' fer this?" I asked casually. Maddie turned and stared at the pictures in disbelief.

"H-how-"

"How'd I get 'em? Well, ya see, yer friend Aja gave 'em ta me ta distribute in th' Soul Society," I began. Maddie paled.

"In those exact words?" she asked me quietly.

"Yup," I smirked. "Ya wouldn' happen ta know anythin' 'bout that, wouldja?"

"… No…" she answered carefully.

"Ten how were ya able ta draw Kurosaki so well-"

"Ashe saw a premonition of him and-"

"-And how come ya was able ta spell his name right? An' Szayel's… it's a bitch ta spell," I cut her off. "It's all a li'l too suspicious,"

"I guessed, okay? Maddie retorted, looking uncomfortable.

"Yer ly ~ying," I said in a sing-song-y voice.

"No, I'm not," Maddie said firmly, looking straight at me.

"I think ya are," I pushed on. Maddie's eyes flashed and her eyebrows furrowed together.

"I'm not, now go the hell away," she snapped at me. I frowned. Maddie rarely says anything rude to me, and when she does, she apologizes afterwards. Repeatedly.

But now she wasn't apologizing. She was glaring at me, but with a tired drop in her eyes.

"Ya know, yer glare may be a li'l more intimidatin' if ya weren't half asleep," I pointed out.

"True. Now go the fuck away," Maddie growled, sitting down on her bed. I sat next to her and put a hand on her head.

"Ya got a dirty mouth when yer sleepy," I commented casually.

"Don't wanna hear it? Leave the room," Maddie retorted grouchily, trying to squirm out of my grasp.

"I will once ya tell me how ya knew about Izuru-kun," I replied.

"Eh?" Maddie asked, confused. "He's… dunno,"

"Ya know the longer ya draw this out, the more likely yer gonna slip," I pointed out. " I jus' wanna know if yer a threat,"

"I'm a pacifist fucker," she snapped, causing me to laugh. "How can I be a threat?"

"Eh," I shrugged. "Well then, since yer causin' so much trouble, I'm gonna hafta assume yer a spy,"

"But I'm no ~ot!" Maddie whined sleepily. "Now go away so I can sleep!"

"Prove it," I demanded. Maddie responded by resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'll tell you in the morning if you let me sleep," she mumbled sleepily into my shoulder after a few minutes.

"Fine," I shrugged, causing Maddie to slide off of my shoulder and fall back onto her bed fast asleep.

Eh, Aizen can wait.

110011001100110011001100110011001100110011001100110011001100110011001100110011001100

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Sorry about the delay. I was in my state capitol, having fun, getting food poisoning and watching an annoying marathon of Total Drama Island. My brain hurts… and I severely need some anime. As soon as I've checked my inbox, time to watch the newest dubbed episode of Bleach bitch! And this time, I may get to see who they made Grimmjow's English voice to be…

Please review!


	28. Chapter 28: Verdades, Mentiras y

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 28: Verdades, Mentiras, y Coartadas

El Bronista (Aja)

"Why am I here exactly?" I demanded crankily. It was 9:00 in the morning and Iwas dragged into Aizen's throne room by those two freaky groupies of Aizen's that seriously need sweaters. Aizen looked majorly pissed off.

"You girls know more than you let on," Aizen started, his voice eerily calm. "Unfortunately, Gin hasn't come back from his interrogation,"

"Interrogation?" I asked slowly. Aizen gave me a creepy smile.

"Yes. Of Maddie. I wonder how long she'll last before she breaks…"

"Ruki's more likely just to tell him… she gets along better with Gin than the rest of us do with our captors," I replied calmly.

"Tell him what?" Aizen demanded, jumping on my slip. Just then, Gin burst in.

"Hiya Aizen-sama!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"Gin, you're back. What information did you retrieve?" Aizen asked.

"And what did you do to Ruki?" I demanded. Gin grinned even wider.

"eh… she fell asleep," He shrugged.

"And..?" Aizen trailed off.

"I think it's better if Aja tells ya. Her bein' th e leader an' all," Gin replied.

"I'm not leader! Did Ruki say that?" I demanded.

"Naw, I figured it out on my own," Gin shrugged again. I sighed. Aizen was staring at me expectantly. "I'd advise ya tell 'im. Yer more likely ta be a spy from the Soul society than Maddie,"

I glared at Gin and turned to Aizen.

"So… I guess… I'll tell you," I sighed in defeat. I hate loosing. "We come from another dimension,"

"I gathered that," Aizen retorted. I ignored him and continued.

"Where we come from, there is an anime we like a lot called _Bleach_,"

"And what does that have anything to do with this?" Aizen snapped.

"_Bleach_ is a story about Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo," I finished. Aizen stared.

"So… you know all about us from a television series?" Aizen asked slowly.

"Yup! I can even prove it, just read some of the stories I brought!" I bragged.

"… I did…" Aizen replied cooly. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"What irritates me is the fact that you lied to me," Aizen told me.

"Yeah? And?" I demanded. Aizen sighed and shook his head.

"You obviously don't understand the severity of this… I do not tolerate my subordinants lying to me," Azien announced coldly. Aw crap… he's serious!

"So what are you going to do, kill me? Because unlike all of you, I'm still alive. So if you kill me, since I have no unfinished business, I'll go straight to the soul Society," I informed Aizen. I then waited for that information to sink in. Aizen's eyebrows lifted.

"We can work around that," Aizen replied. I frowned.

"That's not all," I added, hoping not to sound pathetic. " I know how it all ends,"

"What?" Aizen questioned.

"That's right. I know who wins the Winter War, who lives, who dies. I can help you win," I offered.

"You mean I don't win?" Aizen demanded.

"Well, In Bleach, you're the bad guy. And to quote a famous detectjive 'the good guys always win'," I replied mildly. "But I can help you change that," Aizen made that creepy 'I'm pissed off at you but not pissed enough to kill you with my awesomness go away or face my wrath' look.

"I see," he said coolly. " I ened to dicuss this,"

Translation: Go the fuck away, Aja. I nodded and went off to find Maddie.

EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP-

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Hellboy soundtrack. Good stuff for this chapter…

The chapter title means 'Truths, lies and alibis'. That's actually the title of some crappy Harliquin romance novel my mom owns… I just love the title though. It has a nice ring to it, neh?

Please review!


	29. Chapter 29: Por que?

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie, who is indeed amazing but owns no Bleach. T_T

Chapter 29: Por qué es usted todo aquí?

El Rey (Grimmjow)

Aizen called another boring-ass meeting. Little did I know that this meeting would be one of the most interesting ones in a while.

"My dear Espada-" Oh god. He's calling us his dear Espada. "It would seem to me that our guests are from an alternate dimension,"

Eh. Wait- what the fuck?

I voiced my opinions and got glared down.

"That explains the powers," Szayel murmured calmly.

"I'm not finished," Aizen glared at Szayel. "Where they come from, we all are fictional characters,"

"WHAT?"

"The hell?"

"OH great,"

"Hn. Trash,"

"ZZZZZZ"

"…"

"Whatever,"

"Interesting,"

"Humph. Stupid kids,"

"…"

"Ain' it great?" Gin exclaimed.

"NO!" I yelled at him. Just then, Stark punched Halibel in his sleep.

"The hell?" Nnoitera asked.

"Stark, why did you-"

"ZZZZZZ"

"I think he's asleep," I commented, getting up and poking Stark.

"Grimmjow, please sit down," Aizen ordered me.

"But he's-"

"NOW," Aizen snapped. I sighed and went back to my chair. Stark then promptly gave Aizen the finger. Aizen narrowed his eyes at Stark.

"Stark…" he said his voice dangerously… uh… dangerous.

"ZZZZ," Stark snored on. HE then pushed his foot and kicked Nnoitera in the balls. He went flying across the room with a high-pitched scream.

"Nnoitera's a girl!" Yami blurted. Suddenly Ulquiorra clutched his head and began banging it on the table. Not soon after everyone else began doing similar things. I soon understood why… an image of Nnoitera in some frilly pink dress flashed through my head. (A/N: It's a tutu.)

"OW!" I yelled, clutching my head.

"Silence!" Aizen ordered. We all complied, and giggling could be heard from outside the meeting room. Aizen stalked over and opened the door, his reitsu flaring.

While Aizen was lecturing the girls, Stark got up and sat in Aizen's chair, sipping his tea with an exaggerated pinky stuck out. Aizen stalked back, looked at Stark, and then twitched.

"Aja, get Stark out of my chair NOW," he ordered.

"But I don't wanna!" Aja whined. Aizen glared at her.

"…"

"Ashe…"

"… How about you three come in here and explain yourselves," Aizen suggested coldly.

"We were bored. Need we say more?" Nicole demanded.

"No, explain the alternate world you come from," Aizen clarified, sounding really pissed. (Yet when he does that, he sounds calm. He just emits 'I'm pissed off' rays. It's fucking creepy)

"Why?" Aja demanded. "Didn't you?"

"Yes, but my dear Espada-" Gag me with Nnoitera's head "- may have questions,"

"Ruki, you answer them," Aja announced.

"Why me?" Maddie demanded.

"'Cuz you're special," Nicole replied.

"Ed," Aja muttered. Maddie frowned and straightened her collar.

"Right… questions?" she asked.

"Does everyone from your particular dimension possess unusual abilities?" Szayel asked.

"Nope. We're just special," Maddie replied. Stark woke up.

"Wha-how the hell did I get over here?" he demanded.

"That's what she said!" Nicole and Aja chorused. Maddie rolled her eyes.

"Moving on. Next question?" she demanded crisply.

"Does your world have shinigami?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Only in anime and stuff," Maddie answered.

"Then what happens to all of your dead souls?" Halibel asked.

"Ooh! I wanna-"

"NO! To answer your question, it depends on your religion. Aside from that, we don't' know," Halibel nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"How did you get here?" I asked.

"No sé," Maddie answered.

"Why are you here?" Yami demanded.

"How the fuck should I know?" Aja demanded.

"To eat your brains," Nicole answered.

"Fate," Maddie shrugged. Aja twitched. Maddie turned to Aja and cringed. "NEXT question…"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Nnoitera shouted.

"Your face. Any other questions?" Maddie asked sweetly.

"… I don't believe so," Aizen answered calmly. "You may leave now,"

Translation: Go the fuck away. The girls filed out and I frowned, the wheels turning in my head.

Now Nicole has something to blackmail me with…

GASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASP

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Yes! I have finally finished the first notebook! Now onto the second one… with more adventures! More romance! More fluff! More yaoi! And… more kinky cosplay nurse and maid's uniforms! Mwahahahah!

Please do review!


	30. Chapter 30: El Esta Enfermo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 30: El Está Enfermo

Rosado (Commonly known as Szayel Aporro Granz)

Hm... This is an interesting turn of events. I will have to question Dakota about this...

I walked back into my lab and sighed.

"Lumiar. Verona. Fetch the boy," I ordered my fracción. Both nodded and bounced off. I reclined on my squishy chair and looked over my notes on these people.

"Szayel Aporro-sama! Szayel Aporro-sama!" my irritating fracción squealed.

"What?" I snapped.

"I wanna tell him!" Verona cried.

"No, I wanna tell him!" Lumiar replied.

"Just tell me," I snapped.

"'Kay... Dakota-san is dead," Verona told me.

"What!" I demanded, rushing to the boy's room. He's my first human specimen from another world and he's already dead? Was I too hard on him? I mean… he is human…

I walked into Dakota's room briskly. Dakota lay on his bed, sound asleep. I could feel his reitsu fluxuating wildly and frowned.

"HE's still alive you imbeciles," I snapped at my fracción. I should've known…

"Hey Verona, we're imbeciles!" Lumiar exclaimed.

"Yaay! We're imbeciles!" Verona shouted. They both bounced and squealed happily until I shouted at them to go away.

Dakota groaned and turned over. This behavior was not like him. Perhaps he's ill…

I placed a hand over Dakota's forehead. Dakota slowly opened his eye and looked drowsily at me.

"Hn? Szayel Aporro-sama?" he mumbled almost incoherently. I frowned. It was difficult to get a feel of whether the boy was sick through my gloves, so I took them off and re-applied my hand.

Dakota's forehead was very warm to the touch. Although interestingly, the boy gave off a soft sigh and closed his eyes soon after I came in contact with him. I stood and left the room to gather some instruments to assist me in obtaining more information. When I came back, Dakota was sitting up; putting on a lab coat I let him and shivering.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Open your mouth," I ordered Dakota. He complied, and I placed an oral thermometer under his tongue. The thermometer soon beeped, and I drew it out.

"38.86," I muttered. "I believe you have a fever,"

"Oh," Dakota mumbled. HE then turned pale. "I've gotta-" he clasped his mouth and dashed to the bathroom. Soon after, retching sounds could be heard.

"Hm… fever, nausea, chills…" I mumbled, sticking my head in. Dakota was kneeling by the toilet, breathing heavily. He hurriedly took off the lab coat and his shirt before beginning another round of retching. I made a note of this.

Dakota slumped back and lay on the floor, still breathing heavily. I filled a glass of water and placed it by the boy. He grabbed it, drank it greedily, and set the empty glass down.

"Thank-" he choked, turned to the toilet and heaved.

"Hm… it seems to me that you cannot keep clear fluids down…" I remarked.

"Damn," Dakota swore, rubbing his ribs. (Which stuck out a little. This made me wonder if my imbecile fracción have been feeding him.)

"I'm going to have to take some blood to determine what you have," I announced, pulling out a needle and poking the boy's arm.

"I've got stomach flu," Dakota muttered, wincing. I walked off to observe the boy's blood. I soon came back with a diagnosis.

"You have influenza," I announced.

"Yeah. Stomach flu, I know. I've had it before," Dakota told me, irritation clear in his voice.

"Judging by your irritability, I'd say you need rest. Are you able to walk?" I asked the boy smoothly.

"Yeah," Dakota nodded, struggling to his feet. His stance was wobbly, and he grabbed onto the sink for support. "Dizzy…"

I sighed and scoped the boy up with ease. HE was lighter than his height would have you believe, and I'm much stronger than I look. Dakota struggled feebly in my arms, but finally went limp, his head leaning against my shoulder.

I placed him on an observation table in one of my labs and began attaching him to machines that would monitor his temperature and white blood cell count. I started an IV to give him medicine to combat nausea. Finally, I sat down and took notes. This was the first time I've been able to monitor an ill human, and the prospect was exciting. I quickly scribbled down more notes and ignored the aching feeling in my joints.

ILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILLILL

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Heheh… second notebook! Yaay!

And… some stomach flu going around! Ehck… I hate stomach flu.

Please review!


	31. Chapter 31: Todos Estan Enfermos!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 31: Todos Están Enfermos

El Siquiatra (Maddie)

Here's my theory.

Dakota got the flu. Szayel then picked it up while taking care of him, and gave it to his fracción, who gave it to Ulquiorra when transferring information, who then went into the kitchen and made onigri (hey, everybody's gotta have a hobby) which Nnoitera then stole and gave to Aizen's weird groupies (doing God knows what) who gave it to Aizen (at which point it turned airborne) who in turn gave it to half of the Espada and Tousen while bitching them out at a meeting.

Of course, for the first two days after the initial infection everyone felt fine. But on the third day, all hell broke out.

I was sleeping innocently in my room when Gin burst in.

"Heya wake up!" Gin shouted at me, poking my head.

"Nyah, I'm trying to sleep," I groaned, throwing pillow at Gin.

"Ay, yer sick too eh?" Gin commented, tossing the pillow back at me.

"No… someone else is?" I asked, sitting up.

"More like halfa the Espada, an' Aizen-sama," Gin informed me.

"Da~am," I sighed. "Wash your hands before eating and such. What do they have?"

"Influenza," Gin replied. "Whatever that is,"

"Dude, that's a common illness," I informed Gin.

"Eh, I thought shinigami couldn' get sick," Gin defended himself.

"Ukitake," I replied blandly. "Do you mind? I'd like to get dressed," Gin got an evil (er?) look on his face. I should've been scared…

"Hold that thought," Gin ordered, running off to his room. He came back with (to my horror) a nurse's uniform. Mind you, not a practical one… no, it was pale pink with a stylized red cross across the chest, a white apron and a frilly skirt that ended at mid-thigh.

"I'm not wearing that!" I exclaimed, turning red.

"Well, either ya put it on, or I put it on ya. Yer choice, I'm fine with either one," Gin told me cheerfully.

"You wouldn't!" I squeaked, pulling a sheet in front of me and feeling my cheeks grow even redder. Gin just smiled wider, and I sighed.

"Fine… just… please turn around?" I pleaded. I mean, come on! Give a girl some privacy!

"Naw! I'll jus' close my eyes!" Gin replied cheerily.

"But they're always… never mind," I muttered, pulled off my night clothes and put on the uniform. "Nya… I'm practically naked… and I feel like I'm in some kinky cosplay,"

"It could be worse! An' anyway, since ya know so much abou' the flu, ya can help me take care o' everybody else!" Gin suggested.

"Oh God…"

HEREKITTYKITTY…HEREKITTYKITTY…HEREKITTYKITTY…HEREKITTYKITTY…HEREKITTYKITTY…HEREKITTYKITTY…

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Thank you to all who reviewed and favourited. It seems to me that people like this! Yaay!

So indeed. The kinky cosplay is on! And it's not just Maddie either…

In the longhand version I've added a little twist too. As a teaser… let's just say, the main pairings are going to have some compitition from the Soul Society! Heheh… it gets juicy! And involves yuri fluff. I wrote the fluff today and got glomped by my co author. Ay…

Please review!


	32. Chapter 32: Quiera Su Novia

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Be warned! Ahead is yuri fluff. If ya don't like it…well, be warned!

Chapter 32: Quiera su Novia!

El Bronista (Aja)

"I'll NEVER wear that!" I screeched at gin. He was standing in my room, holding a maid uniform. No, let me rephrase that. A skimpy maid uniform. Unacceptable.

"Come on! I got Nikki into it-"

"How?" I demanded.

"Bribery. An' I got Maddie in it-"

"She's a pushover," I interrupted.

"-so yer next," Gin finished.

"No way in fucking hell," I replied, crossing my arms. Gin sighed.

"Okay, well, I guess ya won' be needin' those books," Gin commented, knocking over a stack of books.

"NO!" I screeched, running over.

"An' next is th' record player-"

"OKAY! I'll wear the fucking thing!" I yelled in frustration.

"Great! Lemme know when yer finished!" Gin exclaimed, turning his back on me. I threw a book at him, but he caught it expertly. "Do I hafta watch ya?"

"No," I muttered, glaring at the uniform. I put it on grudgingly and Maddie stuck her head in, wearing a nurse's uniform.

"Okay, so Aizen-sama, Tousen, Halibel, Ulquiorra, Lumiar, Dordonii, and Ylforte and… aw fuck it… look at all of these numeros… all these people are sick. Ichimaru-san divided the work out… yet somehow he ends up doing nothing… Although the Espada have worse cases… the virus probably had to mutate more…" Maddie trailed off, waving around a clipboard boredly. "We'll eventually catch it too,"

"Now now, ya don' hafta be so negative," Gin chided Maddie.

"Murphy's law," Maddie retorted. I burst out laughing.

"But seriously… Aja, you're assigned to Halibel, Tousen and Aizen-sama. If you finish with them, help would be greatly appreciated down in the mess hall, where all of the numeros are," Maddie told me.

"You mean I have to take care of Aizen?" I demanded, irritated.

"Up. Nikki's got it worse though… she has Nnoitera," Maddie pointed out.

"Why did-"

"Ichimaru-san drew up the list, remember?" Maddie added. Gin chuckled in the background.

"Oh. That explains a lot," I nodded. I'll have to get that bastard.

So yes. That is how ZI ended up pushing a cart with piping hot chicken-noodle soup (which Nikki and I collaborated over a huge pot for two hours making) down the halls of Las Noches. The first room I went to was Tousen's, just to get dealing with him over with. I then went to Halibel's room.

She lay on her bed, her white sheets twisted around her gorgeous body as if she was having bad dreams. Halibel's braided blonde hair clung to her dark face limply, and she stirred as I came in.

"Hn?" she asked drowsily.

"I just brought you some soup," I said warmly, ladling out a bowlful.

"Oh. Thank you," she mumbled, struggling to sit up. I rushed over and helped her up. "I don't… need assistance,"

"Alright," I nodded. Suddenly, the door opened to reveal stark standing in the doorway, scratching his head boredly.

"I know I'm not supposed to be in here so I don't' get sick, but I sleep so much that there's no room for sickness… so oh well," he mumbled lazily.

"Okay…?" I asked. Stark walked past me and over to Halibel's bed.

"Here," he offered Halibel a spoonful of soup.

"You don't have to feed me," Halibel muttered.

"Well, I'm awake, so I might as well," Stark retorted, giving Halibel a kiss on the cheek. I smiled and walked out.

Damn. I liked Halibel, and she's taken. Ah, well, there's nothing I can really do about that.

Next stop… Aizen's room.

DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay yuri fluff!

Fun chapter. The next chapter is even more fun! Whee!

Please review!


	33. Chapter 33:Pesadillas terebrosas

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 33: Pesadillas Asustadizas

La Psíquica (Nicole)

"Stupid motherfucking bastard sticking me in a motherfucking dress and making me motherfucking serve a motherfucking dipshit douche bag," I muttered venomously under my breath. I was pushing a cart of chicken noodle soup +bowls and spoons down the hall to… Nnoitera's room. Why did I have to feed Nnoitera chicken soup? Exactly. Gin will die.

I opened the door to Nnoitera's room. His room was surprisingly clean and slightly dim. Nnoitera was reclined against some pillows, reading something I highly suspected was porn.

"Hey. You," I grunted, taking a leaf out of Grimmjow's book. "Do you want some soup?" Nnoitera perked up.

"Yeah," he nodded eagerly. I sighed and ladled some soup, deliberating whether I should dunk Nnoitera's head in the hot soup and kill him (hey, I could claim that I ran out of spoons…). Or smother him in pillows.

As I walked over to him with the piping hot soup, one word was on Nnoitera's mind: yum. And trust me, it wasn't the soup. Damn Gin will die.

"Woman," Nnoitera cooed, "I think I'm too ill to feed myself. Can you feed me?"

"Sure, and have the opportunity to shove scalding hot soup down your throat?" I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes. Nnoitera frowned and narrowed his eyes.

"I'm stronger than you woman, don't forget it," he snarled at me. "And don't think you can hide behind Grimmjow, 'cuz I'm stronger than him,"

"I'm not scared of you, Spoony," I retorted, turning to leave.

"You should be… I know where you sleep!" Nnoitera called after me, cackling raucously. I slammed his door, glaring at the soup ladle. I should've pretended not to hear Gin telling me not to kill anybody. Damn.

Completely pissed off, I stalked over to Grimmjow's room He was sleeping, tossing and turning in his sleep.

"Nnn… goddamn Shinigami…" he muttered, thrashing about a bit. "Give 'im a punch… dammit get away from her bitch… shit no shit no motherfucking bastard… no no no no no no she can't be dead no-"

"Yo Grimmy-sensei! Wake up!" I yelled at Grimmjow.

"Ah-Nicole!" he yelled sitting up. His eyes looked wide and almost scared. Grimmjow? Scared? The fuck?

"What's your malfunction? Were you having nightmares?" I asked teasingly.

"Hell no! Who do you think I am bitch? I'm the Sexta Espada-"

"Yeah yeah, I get it, you're a big tough guy," I cut him off sighing. Grimmjow sniffed the air.

"Is that… soup?" he asked.

"Yup. Chicken noodle. Want some?" I replied.

"Yeah," Grimmjow nodded. I ladled him some soup and gave him a spoon (mentally picturing it was Nnoitera's head. That's actually kinda refreshing, especially when Grimmjow gnaws on it absentmindedly).

"Blow on it," I ordered Grimmjow, feeling oddly maternal. It must be something about seeing sick people, it makes you act weird.

I handed him the soup and he ate a mouthful.

"Ah! Dammit it's fucking hot!" he swore, fanning his mouth. I poured him a glass of water (Maddie suggested it, saying sick people need liquid. No shit… I didn't work in a hospital for nothing…) and gave it to him. Grimmjow gulped it down and sighed.

"I told you," I told him motherly. Grimmjow glared at me, and then at the bowl of soup.

"Damn you soup," he growled at it. The soup gave no reply, and I burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" Grimmjow complained. I sat down and sighed.

"Yes, it is," I replied, self-satisfied. "So, what were you dreaming about?"

"Killing Shinigami," Grimmjow answered readily.

"Ah," I nodded. Should've known. "Do you have a girlfriend or something?"

"WHAT?" Grimmjow demanded, reddening a little. "What the fuck?"

"Well, it's just that you kept on muttering about some dead girl, so I figured that you had a girlfriend," I explained, trying to ignore a weird feeling in my chest. What was it? Anger… sorrow…

"No, I don't have one," Grimmjow muttered tiredly, lying back down. Unwanted relief exploded in my chest. Wait- relief? That means the first emotion was… jealously?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

SOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUP

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Chapter title means 'Scary Nightmares'

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry to all Nnoitera fans.

Okay, so the next few (like four) chapters are really fun! They have fluff, and the introduction of the final character! And try to guess her pairing…

Any guesses? Please review!


	34. Chapter 34:Me Duele La Espalda

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie. For the record, I don't own any bleach, be it the cleaning product or the anime/manga.

Chapter 34: Me Duele la Espalda

El Bronista (Aja)

I pushed my cart into Aizen's big ass room. The formidable ex-shinigami lay sleeping on his bed, his face slightly flushed. A large pile of books were stacked on his bed. I tried to stir up contempt for the man, but I just couldn't. It's hard to hate someone when they are laying there, being all sick and gorgeous- hold on, gorgeous? Now I sound like a fan girl. (I am, but that's not the point) I don't even swing that way dammit! And I'm not going to be turned bisexual by some dick with a god complex. End of story.

I ladled Aizen a bowlful of soup and put it on his bedside table, making sure it was steady. I then moved the books onto the floor so that he was more comfortable. I sighed. Sleeping with books? Really.

…Okay, so I occasionally sleep with books, but not when I'm sick1 I sat down on the side of Aizen's bed to rest my feet. They really hurt, and I suspected I had blisters forming on my heels and toes.

I snuck a glance at Aizen again. I wish I could keep my eyes off of him.

"Damn Aizen-sama, you have so many books," I sighed enviously, swinging my legs casually. I really didn't want Aizen to know I called him '-sama' behind his back. It just… bugged me. Luckily, he was asleep.

My eyes roamed from the books to Aizen's pillow (white of course) to his chiseled jaw line up his face to that annoying curl of hair that's always there. It's like a shard of his alternate 'Aizen-taichou' persona from the Soul Society that wouldn't go away. My eye twitched. I reached across and smoothed the bang back into Aizen's hair. Damn, his hair is so soft and silky, it made my hand almost want to linger. But then he'd wake up, putting me in a very awkward position. I pulled my hand away reluctantly and the curl popped back to its original place. I smoothed it back again, and it popped back in place. I went for a third time, but Aizen's eyes snapped open. I froze my hand still on top of his head.

"What… are you doing?" he asked me. I flushed.

"Your… hair…" I muttered. "Go back to sleep,"

"No, now I want to know… what you were doing." Aizen asked me, trying to stare at me in my eyes. Since I have issues with eye contact, I looked elsewhere.

"It's nothing," I muttered again, standing up.

"No, tell me," Aizen ordered, sitting up. As soon as he did so, he suddenly stiffened and closed his eyes.

"Something wrong?" I asked, motherly urges swelling up in my chest.

"I think I have a knot in my back," Aizen sighed.

"Do you want me to loosen it-" Aw shit. How did that come out? I clapped my hands over my mouth and silently swore. Aizen lifted an eyebrow as I silently chanted 'say no say no say no say-"

"Yes, that would be nice," he announced. Aw fuck. But when Aizen winced again, a slight pang of guilt stabbed through my chest. I swear he was hamming it up just to bug me.

I took a deep breath and reached for Aizen's shirt.

"What are you-"

"I have to take your shirt off," I muttered.

"Oh," Aizen nodded as I pulled off his coat and shirt. How can he wear so much while sick?

Aizen rolled onto his stomach, wincing slightly. I straddled his waist and began kneading his back muscles. I worked slowly, loosening the knots in his muscles gently. As long as I didn't think about the position I was in, it didn't seem awkward. I was completely absorbed in my work.

Once the muscles were armed up and pliable, I cracked Aizen's back. Mind you, cracking backs is dangerous, and it takes a lot of skill not to kill a person. Luckily, I've had lessons. As I was doing this, a thought sprang into my head. It only takes 60 pounds to break a human's neck. It wouldn't take much more to snap a human's spine-

"Aizen-sama! We're here to- THE HELL?" someone screamed behind me. My face flushed as the awkwardness of the position came flooding back to me, and I accidentally cracked Aizen's back again, causing him to sigh loudly.

"Wha-what are you doing to Aizen-sama?" the someone screeched. I turned and glanced at the two girls (Melony and Lola? Or was it Lola and Melony?) who stood red-faced in the doorway. I turned redder, jumped off and tried to leave the room in an embarrassed huff. Unfortunately, Aizen propped his head up and glared at me.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.

"Mess hall. There are a lot of sick arrancar," I replied quietly.

"Weren't you two sick as well?" Aizen demanded of the groupies.

"Well we…"

"Well, it's just…"

"Leave me. I need to sleep," Aizen ordered tiredly. I nodded and raced out of the room as quickly as possible.

It was then that I remembered that I left my soup cart in Aizen's room. Shit.

SAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYYESYESYESYESNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNOSAYNO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Yes… that chapter was fun to write. Indeed…

I hope I didn't make Aja too fan girl-y. It's just… come on! Aizen's hot! And at the current moment, he was also all flushed and fever-y… and Aja's gonna have some conflicting emotions regarding that man. Yeah…

Plus then there's the groupie factor. Man, those girls creep me out. They are gonna be a little bit problematic for Aja in the future…

Next chapter, ya get to meet a new person! Heheh…

Please review!


	35. Chapter 35: Una Amiga Nueva

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 35: Una Amiga Nueva

La Luna (Dakota)

Oh yeah! I am NOT wearing skimpy girls' clothes! Hell, I'm not even wearing skimpy boy clothes! It's awesome.

… But I still had to play nursemaid to everybody. Especially Szayel, I mean, damn! He wouldn't stay in bed. I had to strap him down to one of his own dissection tables! It was annoying.

I am, however, getting better at using my powers. I can now walk through walls like a pro. In fact, I kinda like the feeling. It makes me feel all tingly. Szayel says the feeling is because of the re-organization of the molecules in my neurons.

Well, whatever the reason, I really like my new power. It makes my job of delivering chicken-noodle soup to the arrancar and Espada much faster. Next on my list: Ulquiorra. The evil L-lookalike. I sighed and pushed my car to chicken-noodle soup (and resisted the urge to eat said soup) down a hall leading to Ulquiorra's room. I swerved to walk through the door to Ulquiorra's room when I happened to extend my arm out. When I came out on the other side, I found a girl with me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

"AAAHH!"

"AAH!"

"AAAH!"

"Ah. You need clothes," I commented. It's true! This girl was only wearing a fluffy auburn towel. Thank God it covered everything.

"Why are you two screaming?" Ulquiorra demanded crankily.

"Holy shit! It's-it's-it's-"

"Stop screaming, trash," Ulquiorra interrupted the girl's stammering.

"Oh man… I'd better find the others," I commented, rubbing the back of my head. This was… problematic. I quickly ladled Ulquiorra some soup and dragged this strange new girl to the mess hall, where I knew at least one person would be.

As soon as I walked in, the girl was attacked.

"AWESOME PERSON!" Aja squealed, hugging the girl.

"Oh, ah, hi Aja," the girl nodded.

"Yo Chloe mah peep!" Maddie greeted Chloe.

"Uh… hi Maddie… why are you wearing a nurse's costume?" Chloe trailed off.

"The real question is: why aren't you?" Aja replied.

"And the answer is simple: Ichimaru-san hasn't found her yet," Maddie added. "… yet. You need clothes,"

"Well, maybe if we stick Awesome Person in one of Aizen-sama's uniforms, people will think she's an arrancar," Aja suggested.

"Naw, someone will figure out she's human," Gin commented, popping up behind Chloe. (How the hell does he do that? I mean seriously, is he a ninja or something?) "We ain' all tha' stupid,"

"Aah!" Chloe squeaked, jumping.

"So, we got another other worlder, eh?" Gin asked.

"Yeah, I phased between a wall and boom, there she was," I explained.

"Hm… with Souske-sama an' Tousen sick, what ta do with ya seems to be left ta me-"

"AKA: You're doomed," Aja interjected.

"Well, as I was sayin', ya should get some clothes on, and we'll have ya servin' some soup ta sick people. 'Kay?" Gin rattled off.

"Okay…" Chloe nodded, looking freaked out. I shrugged and walked off to give Szayel some soup.

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay enter Chloe! After her, there will be no more people added. Promises!

In the longhand version, I'm about to chapter 70. And… no lemon yet! Although, they're coming! Don't worry… I have at least two planned. The other three will happen… uh… later. I don't know the order exactly; just that Aja's will be last due to the odd nature of her relationship with Aizen. Can't be rushing things…

Please review! All of your reviews really make my day!


	36. Chapter 36: Informaccion Importante

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. Or Twilight.

Chapter 36: Información Importante

El Fuego (Chloe)

"Okay, here's the rundown," Maddie explained once I had gotten into some suitable clothes. "You're in Hueco Mundo,"

"I guessed," I answered.

"And, right now the only reasons we're all still alive is A: We're occasionally obedient-"

"Occasionally?" I interrupted.

"Aja. Hyper. Need I say more?" Maddie asked.

"Oh," I nodded, "continue,"

"B: Ichimaru-san likes us (mainly my little sister)," Maddie continued.

"That's always a good thing," I nodded.

"C: We all have cool powers- you probably do too," Maddie told me.

"Really? Cool!" I grinned, feeling suddenly hyper. "What do you have?"

"Eh, I think it's all emotion-y control-"

"Like from _Twilight_? Cool! What does Aja do?" I asked eagerly.

"Telekinesis and precog. Nikki reads minds, Dakota phases through walls and Sophie… well, I think she kinda makes people go into extreme fits of pain… and is cute," Maddie rattled off. I giggled.

"Heheh… cute…" I laughed.

"Okay, the other two reasons are Aja knows how the Winter War ends and gives really good backrubs," Maddie finished.

"… Back… rubs…?" I asked, part of me not wanting to know.

"Yeah. I don't wanna know either," Maddie nodded. 'As for the rules… don't kill anyone-"

"I don't think that will be a problem," I interjected.

"I didn't think so, and just please, use common sense!" Maddie pleaded. "IF you do so, life here is kinda fun,"

"Alright," I nodded, my brain finally processing that I have been suddenly fwooped into the _Bleach _universe. Wow… it's like a fan girl's dream come true.

"Well, I'd love to chat, but I've got people to care for," Maddie sighed, as a random arrancar complained that he was thirsty. I watched Maddie zip around, almost franticly, from sick arrancar to sick arrancar, thinking as what to do next. There wasn't really much I could do now…

SICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKHISICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICK

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Thanks for reading. Sorry about the short chapter, this is just kinda to tie up some loose ends. All loose ends will be tied up soon… including the real reason as to how everyone here in Hueco Mundo got sick…

Please review!

P.S: I DID NOT STEAL MADDIE'S POWER FROM TWILIGHT!

Before I even read Twilight, I had thought of a character with the ability to control emotions. I just used parts of that concept here. So rawr! Maddie does not sparkle!

I apologize to all Twilight fans. I think Twilight is okay…depending on my mood.


	37. Chapter 37: Cuando su Querida Tiene

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie (although y'all probably already know that…)

Chapter 37: Cuando su Querida Tiene Sueño…

La Sonrisa (Gin)

I whistled a cheerful tune as I skipped down the halls of Las Noches. Everything was working according to plan. I wonder if this is how Souske feels when things go his way… it's a great feeling.

People were recovering from their illnesses, and I now have a new other world-er to mess with!

Speaking of messing with people, I haven't bothered Maddie in a while. Then again, I was advised not to be in the same room as her by Aja, Nicole and Dakota. Apparently Maddie get's scary. But, she can't possibly be scarier than Aizen when ya mess with his tea… or Byakuya when ya put sneezing powder in his scarf… ah… good times….

Well, anyway, back to the present. I opened the door to the mess hall and stared at the chaos inside. Maddie was running around franticly, giving water and soup and medicine to various arrancar. The ones that she wasn't paying attention to were braying loudly, and about stupid things too. Like 'oh, my throat is sore', and 'oh, my back hurts'… so much that I pulled out Shinsou and killed the offending arrancar.

"Eh?" Maddie asked innocently, looking up. "Did you need something Ichimaru-san?" And… why is your sword out?"

"Ah, no reason," I replied cheerfully

"I need water!" an arrancar whined, and Maddie dashed off. She zipped about from arrancar to arrancar some more, although I noticed that she was slowing down a bit. I sighed. So many people were being irritating, and I couldn't kill them all. Besides, if I killed everybody who pissed me off, not many people would be left.

I casually leaned against a wall and watched Maddie race around.

"If yer tired, take a break," I suggested.

"NoI'mfine!" Maddie exclaimed in a rush. She zipped over to feed some soup to an arrancar close to me. Just as she was about to leave, I stopped her. When she stood still, she trembled a little. Her reaction to my action was a little delayed as well, because a few seconds after I stopped her, she tried to wriggle out of my grasp.

"Ichimaru, seriously. Let me do my work," Maddie told me irritably. "The next person who bugs me is getting a broken thermometer shoved up their ass," I raised my eyebrows at Maddie's surprising show of violence.

"That's why yer takin' a break. We can't have ya shovin' broken thermometers up peoples' asses," I told her, tugging at her arm. Maddie lost her balance, falling towards me, and I caught her before she hit the floor.

"And yer tired," I added cheerfully. "Can't even keep yer balance,"

"You tipped me!" Maddie accused.

"Naw, I jus' grabbed ya. Ya should've kept yer balance," I pointed out, scooping Maddie up off the floor.

"Eep! Put me down!" she demanded, struggling about helplessly.

"If I do, yer just gonna keep on workin'," I retorted, carrying her out of the mess hall.

"Chloe! Help!" Maddie cried. The new girl simply shrugged. Smart girl.

I happened to notice several male arrancar placing themselves in such a manner that they can look up Maddie's skirt as I carried her out. True, the dress I put her in gave anyone who cared to look a good view of her black sparkly underwear, but it's still rude to go out of yer way to look. I peered over at the offending arrancar, opened my eyes and glared him down. By the time I had stopped glaring, Maddie had settled down. She was resting her head against my chest and her eyes were drooping.

"Nyaah… can't fall asleep…" she mumbled.

"Why not? Yer gonna get sick ya know," I pointed out. Maddie muttered something undecipherable under her breath and fell asleep.

KAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAIIKAWAII

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Thank you for reading this chapter. I liked writing it.

Currently, I am in a little Gin obsession. I've had him on my desktop for the past month (which is remarkable, considering I change my background every week or so…). Right now, there's a picture of him when he was a kid with blood on his face. So kawaii!

So yes. Please review!


	38. Chapter 38: El Esta en ModaTe Caliente

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 38: El Está en Moda

Parte Uno

La Luna (Dakota)

Everyone was finally recovering. I reclined on my squishy chair and got back to work alphabetizing Szayel's experiment reports from the past ten months. Trust me, that dude's been busy… it's a wonder he gets any sleep!

Speaking of which, I wonder what Szayel is doing now. I haven't seen him since the illnesses began.

I casually meandered past Szayel's favourite lab, which I call The Scream Pit for obvious reasons. Inside I heard struggling and yelling. Cautiously, I opened the door and saw Szayel strapped to one of his metal examination tables. Oh crap… I did strap him down, didn't I? He lifted his head at my arrival and narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Uh… need help?" I asked helpfully.

"NEED HELP? YOU IMBICILE, YOU STRAPPED ME DOWN TO THIS TABLE! I'VE BEEN YELLING FOR HOURS!" Szayel screeched.

"I did? Oh… yeah… sorry about that," I apologized, quickly undoing Szayel's bonds. The scientist sat up and glared at me, his eyes smoldering behind his glasses. I shivered involuntarily. Szayel looked like a demon!

I decided to take a leaf out of Maddie's book before my gallbladder wound up in one of Szayel's creepy jars.

"Look, I'm sorry I forgot about you. Gin's been working me to the bone serving people soup, and you were hallucination and this girl came in-"

"Girl?" Szayel interrupted

"Yeah, I phased through a wall and there she was. Her name is Chloe and Aja and Maddie know her," I rattled off. Szayel snatched a nearby notebook and began scribbling.

"I see. Powers?" Szayel asked.

"Dunno," I shrugged. Szayel pursed his lips disappointedly.

"Hm, I have work to do. Uhg, and my clothes are a mess," Szayel grumbled, pulling off his dirty shirt and revealing his very well toned chest. For a scientist, he's very muscular, but not overly muscular like Grimmjow. HE looks like… a male underwear model.

"Are you ill again? Your face is all red," Szayel commented. I blushed more and ran out of the room. I couldn't keep a straight face.

Parte Dos: Té Caliente

El Dios (Aizen)

I reclined on my throne, glad to be feeling better. A steaming cup of tea was in my right hand, and I felt like I could take on the world. Then again, I could, so it didn't really matter.

"Souske-sa~ama," Gin's voice cried across the room. I glanced up at him and noticed behind him a cluster of people: Aja, Maddie and a strange new girl I didn't recognize. I frowned.

"Who's that?" I demanded.

"Awesome person!" Aja chirped, hugging the girl.

"This is Chloe," Maddie added calmly. "Dakota… uh… how would you describe it? Phased?"

"Schlooped," Aja corrected.

"I like that word!" Chloe exclaimed.

"Fine. He Schlooped Chloe here," Maddie finished.

"Yup!" Gin grinned.

"And… I suppose you want to keep her," I sighed.

"Well, not me spec'ficly, but yeah," Gin answered. "Since I already got two of 'em, how about we stick 'er with one o' the Espada?"

"Hn…" I murmured, thinking. This girl had a definitely mischievous look, and judging by how much Aja liked her, she was probably a troublemaker. Was she worth it?

"What's your ability?" I asked Chloe sternly.

"Uh…" Chloe trailed off. I rubbed my temples irritatedly.

"If you cannot demonstrate any special abilities within the next two hours, I will send you to Szayel for observation," I told her. Chloe frowned. I noticed her reitsu building and inwardly smiled. She must know about Szayel judging by her reaction. She was staring at my tea.

I reached over to pick up my tea, and the cup was blazing hot. The tea was almost boiled try. I frowned as the tea boiled dry and the cup began melting. Small flames licked up the edges.

"It's dead," Aja announced.

"OH!" Maddie added. I glared at the two.

"Well, now we know yer power," Gin commented brightly.

"You're a pyro! Whooh! Another pyro!" Aja grinned.

"Another?" I asked. "You're a pyromaniac?"

" That's right!" Aja replied. I sighed.

"Fine," I stared at Chloe. Who would rein her in best? "Gin, take her to Ulquiorra's quarters,"

"Yaay Ulqui! Yaay Ulqui!" Aja changed, dragging Chloe off. I glanced mournfully at my tea.

"And somebody _please_ get me more tea!"

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

I have to sleep with trash. Again. Why me? And this time it was a woman too.

"Okay Ulqui-chan, ya got another roommate! An' this time, ya ain' gonna slough her off ta Szayel," Gin drawled, escorting a wide eyed girl with curly brown hair into my quarters.

"Please call her Chloe, and not woman," the other woman added pleasantly.

"Yup! And she's a pyro!" Aja (good grief not HER again) interjected. I scowled and glared at the woman.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully.

"Hn. Stay out of my way," I ordered her as she slowly walked in. I then slammed the door in Gin's face. I didn't have the patience to deal with him…

Then… I heard him talking outside.

"Yes… my plan worked!" he chortled.

"Eh?" the other woman asked. "What plan?"

"Well… I wanted ta have some fun… so I kinda got a virus from the human world…" Gin trailed off. My eye twitched.

"YOU MEAN ALL OF THAT WAS PART OF YOUR PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The woman wandered around the room we now had to share (again: why me?) and I turned away to finish more paperwork.

FIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIERHOT

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Thank you for reading! Now Chloe's pairing has been made clear. Total opposites, neh? And her power has been revealed too. And the secret behind the illness…

Yeah!

Please review!


	39. Chapter 39: Yo se donde duermes

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie, with help from Kitsunage and PsychoNinja

Chapter 39: Yo Sé Donde Duermes…

La Psíquica (Nicole)

I was tired. My body ached from the training session. Hell, I didn't even know I had muscles in some of the places I'm hurting! The hot shower I had taken before helped, but I seriously needed some ibuprofen. And sleep lots of sleep. The ibuprofen was obtained from my trip to the other Las Noches several months before. As for the sleep… I got into my bedclothes and slumped onto my bed in exhaustion. The lights above me flickered out, leaving the only light in my room coming from the ever-present moon outside my window. The moonlight splashed across my room eerily, but I had gotten used to the ever present darkness.

I was just beginning to relax when I heard a creak. I cracked open an eyelid, but there was nothing there. Sighing, I closed my eyes and began relaxing again. I almost fell asleep again, but for some reason I opened my eyes. Good thing I did, because the first thing I saw was Nnoitera's smirking face.

"Hey there-"

Whatever he was going to say, I cut off with a scream. Nnoitera put a cold hand over my mouth and I bit down on it. It was like biting rock!

"Humph. I've got the hardest hierro of all the Espa-

"-And I don't care!" I screeched back, backing up and leaping off of my bed. Nnoitera grabbed the back of my sports bra to keep me from running. I squirmed and wriggled, adrenaline rushing through my veins. This bastard wasn't getting anywhere near me!

I twisted my body and wrenched Nnoitera's wrist away from my bra. I then scrambled for the door leading to Grimmjow's room.

"Oh no you don't," Nnoitera growled, throwing his big stick scythe thing at me and pinning me to the door. I began desperately banging on the door, trying to ignore Nnoitera's oily laughter creeping closer and closer-

The door opened. I yelped as I was swung into Grimmjow's room. Said Espada wrenched Nnoitera's weapon out of the door, pulled me in and slammed the door shut.

I stared at the door, my body feeling cold all over. The adrenaline still rushed through my veins, and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

"Fuckin' Nnoitera," Grimmjow muttered viciously.

"Thank you," I mumbled under my breath. My adrenaline rush was fading.

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Grimmjow asked me, something like concern creeping into his voice.

"No," I muttered, looking down at my legs. They were shaking. Inside, I felt scared, but it seemed like my body was more terrified than I was.

"Here," Grimmjow muttered, shrugging of the jacket shirt thing he wore and giving it to me. It was a little large on me, but was warm and comfy. Grimmjow steered me over to his bed and sat me down.

"Do you… need to cry or something?" he asked me, his voice angry.

"I… I don't think so," I answered. My voice sounded so small.

"Alright," Grimmjow nodded. "You can sleep here,"

"Thank you," I mumbled, feeling exhausted. Grimmjow then stood up and walked to the door leading to my room. "Where are you going?"

"To kill Nnoitera," he replied, sounding eerily calm.

KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Okay, so I'm mentioning Kitsunage and PsychoNinja because they helped create Aja and Nicole respectively. Chloe and Dakota's creators will show up once they get off of their fat asses and make accounts! Rawr.

So yes. We're gonna have some drama here. Not so much funny stuff. Like serious, life/death stuff. But after that… back to the light theme. So don't worry. I just… need to put a little violence in here to appease those of you who like a little blood with your funny (like PsychoNinja)

Please review!


	40. Chapter 40 :MUERTE!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 40: MUERTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

El Rey

I was royally pissed off. The idea of that sick motherfucker even looking at Nicole just pissed me off, and I didn't even know why. I just knew that he had to die.

I opened the door calmly to se Nnoitera slinking out of Nicole's room, the cowardly bastard.

"Nnoitera," I called out. Nnoitera whipped around and glared at me. Then, he smiled that creepy-ass smile of his.

"Oh look, is wittle Gwim-kitty mad?" he taunted. I growled and drew my sword.

"You hurt her. I'll kill you," I told him curly.

"Why are you so damn possessive? Is she that good in bed-"

I ran at Nnoitera, my sword aiming to kill.

"You dumbass! I'm stronger than you!" Nnoitera cackled, swinging his zanpaktou down viciously on my shoulder.

"Fuck," I swore, sonidoing backwards. Nnoitera opened his filthy mouth to reveal a cero powering. Joy.

Before I could react, the cero hit me. I was slammed back into the far wall. My vision went red for a moment and I heard Nnoitera cackling disgustingly. Rage boiled up in my chest and I stood up, picking chunks of wall off of my shoulders.

"Die," I said coldly. I rushed at him, and my vision went black.

~KABOOM!~

When I came to, I was laying on my back in Nicole's room. Or… what was left of Nicole's room. The floor, ceiling and walls were cracked and filled with craters. I was all bloody, as was Nnoitera who lay unconscious in a far corner. Nicole cautiously opened the door and peered in. When she saw me, she ran over.

"Oh my God are you hurt?" she asked in a rush.

"Nnn…" I muttered, my eyelids fluttering. It was really hard to focus.

"Oh no wake up wake up!" she exclaimed, panic in her eyes and voice. "I'm sorry,"

"Why?" I croaked out.

"You just got the living shit beaten out of you because of me. Why did you challenge him?" Nicole demanded. I blinked. I'd never really asked myself why I tried to fight Nnoitera, I just… did. Now that I think about it, Nnoitera was more powerful than I. So why the fuck did I try to kill him? Aizen also tends to get pissy when Espada kill each other. So my fight was stupid. What was I fighting for?

I looked up at Nicole and noticed that her eyes were watering.

"Don't you dare start crying," I growled, trying to sit up.

"G-grimmjow we have to g-get you t-to a doctor," she stammered.

"Nah, I'll be fine, I've had worse," I retorted finally sitting up. My chest ached.

"S-stupid," Nicole sniffed, glaring at my bloody chest. "You could've gotten killed,"

"So what?" I retorted, feeling pissed. "It's not like anyone will miss me," Nicole rested her head on my arm and punched it. "Ow,"

"I will dumbass," she sniffed. "… Who else will give me lessons?" I laughed, my laughter sounding harsh and bitter. I somehow felt... disappointed. Like I was looking for something else. Something more…

"Don't you dare die," Nicole muttered. I felt something wet on her cheek and realized she was crying. Medics began to file in.

"I don't plan on it,"

KABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOMKABOOM

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry if there are any typos. My spell-check can only do so much. It's just that I'm currently listening to Black Lotus… I don't usually listen to that kind of music, but it fit my mood in this chapter. Yeah… other than that I avoid rap like the plague.

So yeah. Violence. Please review!


	41. Chapter 41: No Se Preocupe

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 41: No Se Preocupe

El Bronista (Aja)

Knock knock knock.

"Ulqui!"

Knock knock knock.

"Ulquio~ora!"

BANG BANG BANG!

"Emo-car open the damn door!" I yelled, banging on the door. Said emo opened the door and glared at me.

"What, trash?" he demanded.

"I'm stealing Awesome Person," I told him. Chloe slipped out of the room quickly before Ulquiorra could reply.

"Freedom!" Chloe cheered as we raced away from Ulqui's room. "So… why'd you spring me?"

"'Cuz I need a partner in crime," I replied. "And since Nicole's in the medical wing-"

"Why?" Chloe asked.

"Nnoitera came into her room last night. Big fight. Grimmy got pretty beaten up. It's hard to say who one, but I'd say Grimmy did," I explained.

"Why?" Chloe repeated.

"True love conquers all my friend," I grinned, pulling Chloe into the medical wing.

Grimmy was a mess. He was lying on a bed, covered in bandages, with Nicole sitting next to him. Aizen was there too.

"And why exactly did you challenge Nnoitera?" he asked.

"He was being fuckin' annoying, do I need a reason?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Watch your language with me. Did you win?" Aizen demanded sharply.

"I don't know," Grimmjow answered. Aizen made a disappointed Hn noise and then swished out. As soon as he was gone, Grimmjow made a face.

"Fuckin' bitch," he growled.

"Aizen or Nnoitera?" I asked with a smile.

"Both. Seriously Aja, how do you deal with that pompous ass?" Nicole demanded.

"Carefully," I replied. "We should do something about it,"

"Uh… if you're thinking what I'm thinking, won't we die?" Chloe asked me nervously.

"If you're thinking pranking the fucking hell out of Aizen, then yes. And I'll take the blame for it… I've done it before," I replied cheerfully.

"Okay… how about we dye his hair?" Chloe asked.

"Ooh! I like it! What colour?" Nicole asked.

"Purple," Chloe suggested. I grinned, and we ran off.

Getting into Aizen's bathroom was fairly easy. This was made easier by the fact that Aizen wasn't in it. The bathroom was huge though, and looked like it had a Jacuzzi.

"He has a Jacuzzi? Lucky…" Chloe muttered enviously. I went to his medicine cabinet and found his shampoo. It was in a fancy pearly bottle labeled _Shampooing de Marqe de Concepteur. _It looked majorly expensive too.

"You mean he actually goes to the real world to get fancy French shampoo?" Chloe demanded.

"Yup," I grinned, pouring purple dye (which I stole from Szayel's lab. You'd be surprised how much crap he's got in there…) carefully into the shampoo. I took a whiff, and it smelled like strawberries.

"It's strawberry scented… that officially makes him a closet gay," I announced, suppressing giggles.

"Well, okay. I wonder with whom? Gin?" Chloe asked.

"No, Gin ahs a thing for Maddie I think. But don't tell her, she'll deny it to high heaven or it hasn't occurred to her," I told her.

"Ooh, matchmaking!"Chloe grinned.

"Oh hell yeah. Now let's split before we're caught," I advised. So we did.

We then ran around putting crap into … other crap. Like Tabasco sauce into the tea, mouthwash in the orange juice, Nair in Szayel's shampoo and shaving cream in those weird pie things Zommari gets from the human world. Later, Chloe went back to her room, figuring Ulquiorra would get majorly pissy if she went missing, and I meandered to the kitchen to make dinner. On my way, I noticed Sophie and Wonderwice playing and smiled.

Today was a success.

SHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOOSHAMPOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

WE HAVE A KITTEH!

Yes, indeed. Today, Mom picked up a free kitten from one of our country friends. He's a brown tabby they named Hannibal. Not after Hannibal Lector, but after one of my father's characters from a roll play: Hannibal Tesla, man of Science!

Think Doc Savage.

Anyway… thank you for all of the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

PS: The title means 'Don't worry about it'

And the shampoo label is 'Designer Brand Shampoo' in French. I know, lame. Whatever…


	42. Chapter 42: Las Lagrimas le Gusta Musica

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 42: Lágrimas le Gusta Música?

El Fuego (Chloe)

Man that was fun! I can't wait to see the look on Szayel's face when he loses all of his hair…

Humming cheerfully, I waltzed into my room. I then stopped. The delicate sounds of a piano wafted through the air. The sounds were rich, but delicate and smooth all at the same time. Curious, I opened the door a crack and saw Ulquiorra sitting elegantly on the bench of a white piano. His white fingers gently stroked the keys, as if he was petting a cat rather than playing an instrument. His eyes were closed, and for once he actually looked like he was enjoying himself. Ulquiorra's a pianist! Wow…

Suddenly, one of his eyes snapped open and stared at me. He stopped playing and stood.

"You stopped! That was really-"

"You will not speak of this to anyone, understand woman?" Ulquiorra told me coldly.

"Um… okay?" I squeaked.

"Good," Ulquiorra nodded, putting the cover on and pushing the piano easily into a huge closet that I somehow didn't notice before. Wow… I'm really unobservant.

"Where have you been?" Ulquiorra demanded.

"Uh… around?" I replied meekly.

"With that trash… probably causing Aizen-sama trouble," Ulquiorra muttered. Crap! He was onto us! Oh man… he'll kill me!

"Um, your piano playing was really good," I covered quickly.

"… You mentioned that already… what are you hiding woman?" Ulquiorra asked me suddenly, staring at me with his wide, emerald eyes. Damn… I like green eyes. I wish mine were green. Sometimes they are. I once dated a guy with green eyes 'cuz they looked hot-

"Woman? I asked you a question," Ulquiorra snapped me out of my reverie.

"Uh… please repeat the question?" I asked meekly, as if I was taking some kind of test or something. Oi…

"What are you hiding?" he repeated.

"Uh… a lot of stuff," I replied nervously yet coyly.

"Like…?" Ulquiorra prodded.

"Like what colour my panties are," I told him smugly. That should throw him off guard.

"They're white and pink, a few are blue," Ulquiorra replied coldly.

"You looked!" I squeaked. "Hentai!" Ulquiorra frowned even more, and looked mildly uncomfortable.

"No, they happened to be in my way. It's not my fault you leave your trash laying around," Ulquiorra defended himself.

"I do not! And my undergarments are not trash!" I retorted. "Jerk… I'm going to help Aja make dinner. Bye."

With this, I stormed angrily out of the room.

Okay, I wasn't angry, but you get the idea.

PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES PANTIES

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, the panties bit was added. I just kinda… improv-ed on that one. I hope it didn't show too much. I mean, yeah, that is a conversation I can see Chloe having with Ulquiorra.

I was talking to the girl who plays Chloe in real life about this bit and she loved the pianist bit. Since she's a perverted freshman, she found it funny.

This chapter was partially inspired by a YouTube video of Ulquiorra playing the flute and watching my 8th grade music teacher play the piano. She did it really well, and it did look like she was petting the keys.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! Next chapter: What happens when a bunch of girls cook dinner for Las Noches…


	43. Chapter 43: No Le Moleste Mi Hermana

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 43: No le Moleste Mi Hermana!

La Siquiatra (Maddie)

I was typing innocently in my room when Sophie ran in, sniffling.

"Maniiiii!" she whined, half crying.

"'sup?" I asked, hugging Sophie. I then noticed that her back was bleeding a little. "Are you okay?"

"'Cary poon man was mean to me an' Wannawaice," Sophie sobbed. Gin stuck his head in.

"Wha?" He asked.

"Scary spoon man… Nnoitera? He was mean to you? What did he do?" I asked.

"HE tried to die me with his big tick," Sophie regaled me.

"He tried to kill her with his big stick," I translated.

"Nnoitera is known fer dislikin' kids… ay, such a jerk," Gin muttered.

"What a douche bag," I muttered.

"Ya swore again! And yer not half asleep either," Gin remarked.

"I'm sorry, but he deserves it," I muttered. "I actually have a foul mouth, I just don't swear to people of higher rank,"

"Really? Ya don' seem like the swearin' type," Gin replied.

"Oh thanks," I smiled sweetly. I then frowned. "As to Nnoitera, you don't mess with my sister,"

"Yer not gonna try an' fight Nnoitera are ya? Yer would die," Gin pointed out.

"I know, that's why I'm so pathetic," I whined, looking down sadly. "I can't even protect my little sister!"

"Well, I could do it fer ya," Gin suggested, stroking the handle of his zanpaktou lovingly.

"You wouldn't die?" I asked.

"Pff. Ya kiddin'? Spoony wouldn' stand a chance," Gin snorted.

"Even if he has the strongest hierro of all the Espada?" I asked tentatively.

"Aww, yer worried! It's adorable!" Gin cooed.

"Yeah, I don't want you to die because of a little matter," I replied, feeling my cheeks grow warm. "I'm going with you,"

"Why? Yer not fightin'," Gin told me.

"I'll use my ability to break you two up if needed," I replied cheerfully. "I won't get in your way, don't worry,"

"… Alright," Gin relented. I smiled, grabbed Sophie and followed Gin to find Nnoitera.

EVERYTIMEILOOKINYOUREYESEVERYTIMEI'MWATCHINGYOUDIEALLTHETHOUGHTSISEEINYOUABOUT HOW I…

We found him in one of the fighting halls. I could feel that Nnoitera was slightly agitated, and I decided to agitate him more. His emotions were like a thick cloud of buzzing flies. Right now they were only flying about a little. In essence, I kicked the cloud.

I've found that arrancar will find logical reasons for their newfound emotions. This … revealed a lot.

"Dammit I can't believe that fucker Grimmjow wouldn't let me have his woman-"

Wait. What? I knew that Grimmjow and Nnoitera got into a fight, but I didn't know it was about Nicole!

"-and what was her malfunction? I mean… I'm a sexy beast! The bitch is probably lesbian-"

"Because she didn't want you?" I interrupted Nnoitera's little rant quietly. I'm sorry. You don't screw around with my peeps. Nnoitera turned around and glared at me. The flies were buzzing faster. "I mean, honestly, you expect every girl you hit on to like you?"

"Shut the fuck up! You wouldn't know sexy if it fucked you up the ass!" Nnoitera growled... I raised my eyebrows at his blunt terminology.

"I'd say the same of you," I replied calmly.

"At least I get laid. You're too pathetic to get any action!" Nnoitera snapped.

"Hm. I, unlike you, don't live for sex," I replied coolly.

"What a pathetic worthless bitch," Nnoitera sneered.

"Well enough about you, let's talk about me," I smiled. The buzzing got to frenzy. Nnoitera grabbed his zanpaktou and raised it. Thinking quickly, I focused on his emotions, and imagined dumping a bucket of cold water on the flies. I pictured how I would feel if all of my friends hated me. Nnoitera suddenly stopped, and his zanpaktou fell to the ground.

"I lost in a fight to Grimmjow… I have no reason to live anymore!" he moaned, his posture drooping and his creepy smile vanishing. He then moped off.

I turned to see Gin behind me, his zanpaktou out and a serious frowned on his face.

"Please don't be mad," I told him quietly, realizing that I totally fucked up. He put his sword away.

"That was very stupid of ya," he told me seriously. I blinked, and then acknowledged that my heart was racing. Yeah… I almost died.

"Yeah, that was stupid," I nodded in agreement.

"I might never forgive ya," Gin told me gravely. I felt my heart drop.

"What? But-but I just was-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so rude I know you wanted to kill him but I couldn't help but mess with him and-" I stopped my rant when I noticed Gin doubled over, laughing his ass off.

"I was just messin' with ya," he gasped. "My, yer a riot,"

Part of me was annoyed, but I was mostly relieved that he wasn't mad at me.

"That was mean," I complained.

"Tha's why I didn' think ya swore," Gin told me. I shrugged.

"True, but as you just saw… I am a bitch under it all,"

CRACKPIPESNEEDLESPCVANDFASTCARSKINDAMIXREALLYWELLINADEADMOVIESTARWHENIFEELLIKEWALKINGYOUBESTCOMEALONG…

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

If you can tell what songs the little break thingies were from, you get cookies! They're from separate songs, but by the same person and from the same album. I was listening to it…

The title means 'Don't bother my sister' and has nothing to do with molesting. Molestar is a fun verb my Spanish teacher taught us. Yeah…

So indeed. I apologize for any OOC-ness in this chapter. Please review and tell me how I did!


	44. Chapter 44: Problemas Con la Comida

Welcome to yet another scintillating chapter of …

Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. That is Tite Kubo's honour.

Chapter 44: Problemas con Comida

El Dios (Aizen)

"My hair is gone!" Szayel screamed. I sighed and took a careful sip of my tea (making sure that spicy sauce wasn't in it). I suppose I was (relatively) lucky. My hair was purple.

Gin waltzed in cheerfully.

"Heya Souske-sama- ooh! Nice hair," he complimented me. "I didn't do it,"

"I figured. You'd use pink or light blue," I replied evenly. "I suppose Aja did it,"

"Speakin' of witch, Aja, Chloe, Nicole an' Maddie are cookin' dinner fer ya all," Gin announced.

"Joy," I muttered. "This will prove to be interesting,"

SEVERALHOURSLATER~SEVERALHOURSLATER~SEVERALHOURSLATER~SEVERALHOURSLATER~SEVERALHOURSLATER…

I glanced down from my place at the top of my table. (A/N: It's the same place where Aizen holds his meetings o' doom) Almost all of my Espada were there. Even Szayel (who underwent hair replacement surgery) and Grimmjow (who was released from the hospital) were here. However, Nnoitera was not.

"I apologize Aizen-sama, but Nnoitera-sama says he has no will to live anymore and refuses to leave his quarters," Tesla reported solemnly.

"But he's already dead isn't he? So he can't have a reason to live at all because he isn't alive in the first place," Dakota pointed out.

"Ouch," Aja remarked with a wince. Tesla frowned at Dakota and left the dining hall. I sighed and ran a hand through my purple hair. The food smelled very good. There was curry, onigri, some odd pink beverage called 'non-alcoholic sangria' and little sandwiches with cheese in them. Humans eat the oddest of things.

However, what worried me was that none of the girls or Dakota were eating.

Wait- Aja and Chloe have been slipping unpleasant things into food all day (Zommari actually showed up before me and complained about his pies. I can never get anyone to find him for me!). What if they poisoned the food?

DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom and death and destruction!

Yeah, sorry about the short chapter. Next chapter will be fun.

So yeah, for your information, Dakota performed the surgery with assistance from Szayel. The dude actually wrote down what Dakota needed to do beforehand and Dakota did it. Obviously, Dakota is a ninja at surgery.

Also, the sandwiches are grilled cheese, courtesy of Chloe. I can't see Aizen saying that though… so I had to find some eloquent way of saying that. That's one of the things I like about writing from Aizen's point of view. He's a very eloquent speaker.

Indeed. Sorry about the rant. Please review!


	45. Chapter 45: Nececitas Ayuda?

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 45: Necicitas Ayuda?

El Bronista (Aja)

I suppose it's all our fault. We pigged out on food in the kitchen while cooking and we were too full to eat anything. Unfortunately, Aizen made us attend. I boredly watched Aizen. How the hell can he have purple hair and look so sexy? Wait what? Eh? Good grief, there it goes again. That bastard is fuckin' turning me bi!

I fumed, glaring at an innocent onigri. I almost didn't notice that no one else was eating.

"Is something wrong?" Maddie asked timidly.

"I noticed you five are not eating," Aizen commented smoothly.

"We're not hungry," I replied.

"Oh really? IS this mysterious lack of appetite due to the presence of poison in tonight's dinner?" Aizen asked me sweetly. I smiled widely.

"Maybe… by the way, nice hair Aizen-san," I replied, taking a drink of tea (without Tabasco sauce)

"Why is it that you never call me 'sama' to my face unless you think I'm unconscious?" Aizen asked suddenly. I spat out my tea and gave the person across from me (who happened to be Grimmjow) a tea shower.

"What? Wha-" I coughed and glared at Aizen who had an infuriating smirk on his face. "Humph,"

"Nice one," Chloe piped up. Traitor.

"Changing subject, does anyone know why Nnoitera has lost the will to live?" Aizen asked casually.

"He lost to Grimmjow," Maddie replied.

"Is this true?" Aizen asked everybody else.

"Hell yes," I added.

"How would you know?" Aizen demanded. I shrugged.

"Because I'm amazing," I replied calmly.

"Naw, we got Nnoitera ta admit it," Gin nodded.

"Hn. I refuse to allow my Espada to be suicidal," Aizen announced.

"Ruki! You're the group psychiatrist, you help Nnoitera," I suggested jokingly. Maddie winced.

"But he deserves it!"She complained.

"It's true. HE called 'er a 'weak and pathetic piece o' crap' or somethin' like that," Gin added. "I almost killed 'im,"

"Ooh… somebody's a little overprotective," I teased. Gin frowned.

"Yes, but violence is not the answer," Maddie remarked, calming the situation.

"Naw, psychological warfare is," Gin finished. They both nodded wisely.

"Awww, aren't they so cute!" I cooed to Chloe and Nicole. They both giggled, and Maddie shot me THE LOOK. Aizen sighed audibly.

"Bring him in. Szayel, do you have any anti-depressants?"

"Yes but-" This was pissing me off. I had to act.

"Aizen-san, he tried to fuckin' rape Nicole," I announced. "That bastard deserved everything he got,"

"I concur," Maddie added.

"Yup!" Chloe nodded.

"Hell yes," Grimmjow announced.

"Ya gotta admit, they got a point," Gin pointed out. "An' anyway, he can' really kill himself. He'll git over it,"

"True. Unless he steals my MuerteRapidoTM chainsaw," Szayel nodded. "It fan even cut though Nnoitera's hierro,"

"… And why would you need to make that?" Aizen asked.

"You never know when you might need it," Szayel shrugged. There was a long silence.

"Well, anyone up for dessert?" I asked brightly.

OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hallo hallo beautiful people and welcome to another scintillating chapter of Bleached Armageddon!

Over fifty reviews! Thank you very much!


	46. Chapter 46: Nececitas Una Esposa

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 46: Necicita Una Esposa

El Rosado (Szayel)

"SZAYEL APORRO-SAMA,"

I looked up at C.A.T.E., my prized artificial intelligence. C.A.T.E. thinks it's female, speaks in a female voice and acts female. It get's infuriating some days.

"Yes?" I asked.

"YOU NEED TO GET A WIFE," C.A.T.E. informed me.

"What?" I shouted, standing up.

"DON'T GET ANGRY, IT'S TRUE!" C.A.T.E. whined.

"And… why do I need a wife?" I demanded angrily.

"BECAUSE TO BY PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY, YOU NEED COMPANIONSHIP," C.A.T.E. lectured me. "AND YOU ARE **NOT** PSYCHOLGICALLY HEALTY,"

"How would-"

"YOU PROGRAMMED ME TO BE ABLE TO PSYCHOLOGICALLY ANALYZE SUBJECTS. I'VE DISCOVERED THAT WITHIN LAS NOCHES THE BEST MATCH FOR YOU IS-"

"How did my A.I. turn into a matchmaker?" I interjected. "Don't make me shut you down!"

"DAKOTA MANIER," C.A.T.E. announced. I froze.

How did C.A.T.E. possibly know that I'm more attracted to males than females?

Although… now that I think about it… that boy is rather fetching…

… But he's human. Aizen will wipe them all out. And Dakota is my experiment….

… That I refer to by first name?

Hm… however, he is my experiment, so I can do whatever I please with him. And no one needs to know…

I rose from my chair and sighed.

"I will perform an experiment to test your proposal," I announced.

"EXCELLENT!" C.A.T.E. squealed happily I dusted off my uniform and strolled out of this lab.

Closing my eyes, I began to work on how I would approach this situation.

I find you attractive… no, that sounds wrong… come to my lab with me… now, that will scare him off… perhaps I should ask Ichimaru, he seems to be knowledgeable in these matters… then again, he'll probably go off telling everybody-

I suddenly ran into something. A huge stack of papers went flying, I fell foreword and landed on top of Dakota himself. And in falling on him…. I kissed him.

It was interesting. I have only kissed one other person (that would have been Luppi, who left me to be with my brother…) so I didn't' have much to compare it with. However, Dakota's reactions fascinated me: the sharp intake of air, severe reddening of the face, flustered moving of his lips that seemed to excite me in a way I wasn't used to.

After a few moments, I sat up. Dakota said nothin, he just lay there, red faced. He looked at me, wonder and confusion in his eyes. He wanted me to explain. I turned and ran, noticing a flash of blonde as I did so.

OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay yaoi!

And it doesn't stop there… poor Dakota!

Who do you think the blonde person was? It's a little obvious… send me a review and tell me how OOC I made Szayel!


	47. Chapter 47: Dime tu Problema

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 47: Dime Su Problema

La Luna (Dakota)

Holy fucking shit on a stick with vanilla icing and sprinkles what the fuck just happened? My face was burning and I was kinda in a state of shock. I turned my head (after Szayel ran away) and saw a blonde haired man crouching down next to me.

"You okay kid?" he asked me kindly, gathering up my papers. Did I forget to mention this blonde haired guy was really good looking? Aah… I think just getting kissed (by a guy none the less…) has messed up my head…

"Y-yeah… just… shocked," I answered dazedly. I mean, yeah, I like guys, but I didn't expect one to jump on me and kiss me!

"Yeah, I know the feeling. My name is Ylforte Granz, pleased to meet you," Ylforte told me, helping me up. "You might want to steer clear of Szayel for a while…"

"Why?" I asked. "Wait, are you two related?"

"Yeah, he's my brother. Trust me, he has a reputation for raping boys," Ylforte told me gravely. My eyes widened.

"Really?" I squeaked. Ylforte nodded.

"You can stay with me if you want," he offered. "Szayel won't bother you there,"

"Okay, thanks," I nodded gratefully. "Can I talk to one of my friends though?"

"Sure," Ylforte nodded. "I'll walk you over. Who's room?"

"Uh..." Who was the best person to talk to in a moment of emotional crisis? "Maddie's. She's by the Ichimaru Gin person," I informed him.

"Alright," Ylforte smiled, putting a hand on my shoulder. As we walked, I rapidly thought what happened over. Szayel kissed me. It wasn't bad… kinda warm, and tingly, it made my stomach buzz.

"Hello?" Ylforte asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I spaced," I shrugged. "I do that often,"

"Heh… no wonder Szayel jumped you like he did… you look so… vulnerable," Ylforte commented slyly. "Here's the room,"

I knocked on the door, and Sophie opened it. Maddie and Gin were on her bed, watching a laptop intently.

"Black Star is such a dumbass-oh, hello Tsuke," she greeted me.

"Um hi, what are you two doing?" I asked.

"Watching Soul Eater. Yeah Stein! Kick his ass!" Maddie rooted.

"He's neat… kinda like Szayel," Gin nodded. I frowned.

"I need help," I began, closing the door.

"'Kay. Sorry Ichimaru-san, I gotta take this," Maddie told Gin. Gin paused the anime and both of them turned to face me.

"Come in. Sit down please," Maddie told me, making room on the bed. Gin scooted back and reclined casually on the pillows. "So… what happened?"

"Szayel kissed me," I blurted.

Bout time too," Gin commented from the pillows.

"Was it good?" Maddie wanted to know.

"I'm concerned. Szayel's a rapist," I changed the topic.

"Eh?" Maddie squeaked. My reaction exactly.

"Where'd ya hear tha' from?" Gin asked, his ever-present smile turning into a small frown.

"I… have my sources. What do I do?" I whined.

"Quit changing the topic! Good kiss? Bad kiss?" Maddie demanded.

"I don't know, you tell me!" I yelled.

'I don't know, I've never been kissed before," Maddie retorted.

"Ya haven'? Wow," Gin commented. Maddie shrugged.

"Okay, I'd advise you avoid Szayel for some time," she advised me.

"Okay. It's all good, because Ylforte-san agreed to house me," I nodded. Oh no. Gin's smile returned and he snickered.

"What?" I asked, suspicious.

"Yer will see," Gin grinned. "Have fun!"

Nervously, I closed the door and left.

KISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISS

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay triple update!

It's called finals. I got to go home mega early, and was hyper. So I typed. Also… I love this part.

So… is Szayel a rapist? Does Ylforte have alternate intentions? Why are Maddie and Gin watching Soul Eater, and are they doing anything inappropriate? Why was Gin snickering? … Why wasn't Gin snickering? You'll have to find out in the next exhilarating chapter of… Bleached Armageddon!

Yeah, I'm hyper. Please review, and pray to whatever deity you worship that I don't get a hold of coffee or a Monster.


	48. Chapter 48: La Escuela es Dificil

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 48: Escuela es Difícil

La Siquiatra (Maddie)

Sighing, I turned back to Gin, who sat up.

"Why were you laughing?" I asked. Then again, why wasn't he laughing?

"'Cuz Ylforte and Szayel have a li'l brotherly hatred fer each other an' all," Gin explained.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yup! Ya see, everythin' Szayel knows about gay sex he got from watchin' Ylforte," Gin told me. "So he ain' a rapist,"

"He watched?" I asked horrified.

"Yup! Orgy time," Gin exclaimed cheerfully.

"Technically, and orgy is four or more people in a room with their shoes off," I pointed out.

"Really? I didn' know that. Yer chock full o' surprises," Gin remarked, turning Soul Eater back on.

"He's fightin' without getting' outta his chair? That takes talent," Gin commented.

"Hell yes. Stein, Mifune and Chrona are frickin' awesome," I nodded.

"Chrona?" Gin asked.

"Yeah, you'll meet him/her/it later," I assured him.

"… Alright," Gin nodded. Just then, Szayel burst in.

"Ichimaru-san, I need your help," he announced in a rush.

"Yeah, you kissed Dakota," I told him.

"An' yer brother's makin' moves on him," Gin added.

"WHAT?!?" Szayel screeched.

"I sense a man-fight… but be careful. Dakota thinks you rape people," I warned him.

"I-I-I'm going to pull out his internal organs and replace them with balloons full of hydrochloric acid while he sleeps! And I'll switch his toes around to see if he notices…" Szayel snarled, looking very pissed off.

"Wow, now that's what I call 'brotherly love'," Gin remarked. Szayel stormed out.

"Nyaah! I don't know how to deal with this drama!" I whined, flopping back on my bed. "Then again, high school was worse,"

"It is? So ya got scientist guys threatenin' ta shove rivals fulla hydrochloric acid?" Gin asked.

"Worse. We have gossip, drugs, whores and National History Day," I replied. "They can be just as bad as a lung full of hydrochloric acid."

"Yikes," Gin nodded.

"But… I wonder how this manfight will end…" I mused. Gin grinned even more.

"The best way… with lotsa bloodshed," he replied.

BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom!

So yes, I hope this answers questions, and escalates the drama!

This conflict will be resolved next chapter (it's really long, but has plenty of yaoi fun!)

Please review!


	49. Chapter 49: No me Abrases

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 49: No me Abrase!

La Luna (Dakota)

I do believe that I am the most confused guy on the planet earth. On the one hand, I like Szayel. He's smart, occasionally has bursts of geeky science humor and is attractive looking.

But Ylforte says that Szayel's a rapist.

Ylforte himself is very attractive, and some mornings I'll wake up to him… cuddling me. So I am confused. If Szayel was a rapist, then Ylforte would definitely know. Then again, I know how sibling rivalries are and this could all be a lie. Arg! Too much!

Ylforte is one of Grimmjow's fracción, so I got to see Nikki more often. This also meant Nikki could torture me more often… but I was slowly adjusting.

"Kota-kun,"

I looked up. Ylforte was standing over me, a small smile carved onto his face.

"Yeah?" I asked dazedly.

"You were staring off into space again," Ylforte informed me, with a casual little hair flip. H has such long and pretty hair.

"Sorry. I was just thinking," I mumbled. Ylforte sat down and curled an arm around my waist.

"You're so cute when you're staring," he cooed into my ear, causing me to shiver. I'm not used to people being so touchy-feely. Szayel never was…

"I-I'm sorry," I mumbled, feeling my face redden. Ylforte turned so that we were facing each other and our faces were about half an inch apart. He then cupped my cheek with his hand and kissed me.

Dammit! Why does everyone keep on making out with me!

Unfortunately, things got worse.

"Ylfo~orte-koi! I'm ba-WHAT?" someone screeched from the doorway. We both turned to see a guy (I think) with shiny curly black hair and draggy clothes standing in the doorway, looking majorly pissed.

"Ah, Luppi," Ylforte stuttered.

"WHAT are you doing? And who is that?" Luppi screamed.

"Um…" Ylforte trailed off. Luppi turned his gaze onto me, his eyes blazing.

"You're dead! You think you can take my man?" Luppi shouted. I squirmed out of Ylforte's grasp.

"Look, I didn't ask for-"

"Oh, but you're getting it," Luppi snarled, drawing his pink (the fuck?) sword and rushing at me. I clenched my eyes shut and felt a strange tingly feeling though my chest as Luppi's sword passed through it.

"What the-" Luppi gasped. I ran away from Luppi frantically. Unfortunately, I felt him grab the back of my shirt.

"Let me go!" I yelped, phasing out of Luppi's grasp. Why does this always happen to me?

"Luppi-koi," Ylforte whined. "Please don't kill him, I just got him!" Wait, what?

"What am I, your puppy?" I demanded, starting to feel irritated.

"Aren't I good enough for you?" Luppi demanded of Ylforte.

"You're always on top!" Ylforte whined back. I felt my face redden. "Can't we be a three-some?"

"Well… you never told me…" Luppi commented, looking at me thoughtfully.

"And Kota-kun is so cute," Ylforte added.

"True… he's all red. Probably virgin," Luppi nodded. I backed away slowly. Somebody save me1

Just then, the door behind me opened, and Szayel stepped in. I jumped back and stared at the scientist warily, and then at Luppi and Ylforte. It was like a gay love fest of doom!

"Go away Szayel, we don't want to deal with you," Luppi sneered.

"I'm here for Dakota-"

"You can't have him! He's ours!" Luppi snarled.

"Yes!" Ylforte squealed.

"But… I don't want to be yours!" I whined.

"Yes, but you don't want to be with Szayel, now do you?" Ylforte pointed out.

"Why not?" Szayel exclaimed.

"You're a rapist," I told him frankly. Szayel narrowed his eyes.

"I am not. Ylforte over here just seems to enjoy spreading liable against me," he said coldly, his voice deadly. Ylforte rolled his eyes.

"You're so immature and pathetic- no one likes you!" he snorted. I felt anger flare up in my chest.

"I like him," I blurted. Everyone in the room stared at me.

"There we are," Szayel told Ylforte with his awesome lopsided scientist grin. "And I think Dakota would rather be with a man of science than a nymphomaniac,"

I turned red. Nymphomaniac?

"Nympho-what?" Ylforte asked.

"You…don't know what that is?" I squeaked in disbelief.

"You do?" Ylforte asked in disbelief.

"Yeah… I think I'll be leaving," I announced, inching out of the room quickly. Szayel followed me briskly.

"Are you alright?" he asked me carefully as we walked back to his domain.

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling my face heat up as I recalled what I said. "Sorry if I… offended you,"

"It's fine, you didn't know any better," Szayel shrugged it off. He then glanced at me slyly, grabbed my chin and kissed, me causing me to (once again) turn bright red. But this time it was kinda nice. "I think I'll forgive you,"

"It's about time!" a familiar voice shouted. I paid it no attention, grabbing onto Szayel's arms and kissing him back. There was a flash and a click. Szayel stopped and slowly turned to glare at a grinning Aja with a camera.

"You should run now," I informed her, a weird giddiness exploding in my chest. Szayel kissed me! Szayel likes me! Szayel isn't a rapist! Yaay!

Aja complied as Szayel pulled a scalpel out of his pants (no comment) and ran after her.

KISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISS

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So yeah… the Dakota love arc is done. Man that was fun to write!

Okay, when I was writing this longhand, I thought it was so funny, I told it to my friends. Only I told it in this format:

"Okay, so Boy A and Boy B are brothers. Boy A likes Boy C, and Boy B hates Boy A and likes Boy C so when Boy A accidentally kisses Boy C, Boy B tells Boy C that Boy A is a rapist, and Boy C goes off to hand out with Boy B, but Boy D is dating Boy B and walks in on Boy B and Boy C kissing and tries to kill Boy C but Boy B convinces Boy D to make a threesome with Boy C and Boy C gets majorly creeped out and Boy A saves Boy C. The end."

Of course, I'd say this super-fast, so it was funny. What wasn't funny was that Dad kept on walking up the stairs while I was typing up this chapter. Although, he made a funny comment about Byakuya (who happened to be on my wallpaper)

"That guy… looks like he has napkins on his head… so he's all like 'I'm so serene with these napkins on my head"

"Well, he's a noble and stuff, and is kinda a prick and has a stick shoved up his ass,"

"Oh. So it's more like this," *changes voice to a higher, snobbier pitch* "Here I am, serenely giving you a bouquet of roses, with a napkin elegantly on my head,"

**Byakuya**: Stupid commoners…

**Me**: Please review!

By the way –koi means 'love'. In case you didn't know.


	50. Chapter 50:Estas enamorado?

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 50: Estás Enamorado?

El Rey (Grimmjow)

"Ichimaru? Where the fuck are you?" I demanded angrily, pacing in his room.

"I'm in Maddie's room!" he replied, his voice muffled. I heard the shifting of sheets and annoyed sighing.

"We'd better stop," I heard Maddie's voice say. I opened the door.

"Am I interrupting something?" I asked the two, who were both laying on Maddie's bed.

"Yes, our anime," Maddie replied coolly. "What do you need?"

"I gotta talk to Fox-face," I grumbled.

"Well, here I am," Ichimaru replied, flashing me his trademark pedophile smile. I took a deep breath. I had spent the past few days thinking this over, and wasn't about to turn back now.

"It's about Nicole," I said after a pause.

"Oh?" Ichimaru asked coyly. Bastard.

"Well, I feel all weird when she's around, and she's been acting funny since my fight with Nnoitera-"

"Weird how? Like is she avoidin' ya or somethin'?" Ichimaru cut me off.

"Yeah, kinda-"

"That's 'cuz she likes ya," Ichimaru told me, as if it should be obvious.

"Yup. You'd better say something to her-"

"Or got the direct route like Szayel did," Ichimaru and Maddie advised, waving around a picture of Szayel and Dakota kissing.

"Wait- you want me to kiss her?" I asked. Not that I minded… I mean, come on!

"If ya want," Ichimaru shrugged.

"If you do that however, it's very likely Nikky will de-man you," Maddie warned.

… She would!

"So… ya like her back?" Ichimaru asked slyly. I frowned.

"I… I… well… yeah… probably… I think… dammit! I don't know!" I growled. "Yes… maybe…"

"Then go to her! And… do stuff! Preferably legal stuff that won't cause you to lose possession of your manhood!" Maddie told me. I sighed and turned to leave. Kiss… okay. That's the plan. How? I don't know…

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Okay, so I'm going to be without a computer from the 20th of June to the 3rd of July. This is problematic, 'cuz all of my faithful readers will spend about two weeks without Bleached Armageddon!

So… I've asked Kitsunage, my co-authour and the chica of doom who roll plays Aja to type up some drabbles that I couldn't fit into the story. It will be in a separate story, with some kind of snazzy title I haven't thought of yet. I'll get back to y'all about that before the 20th though, so no worries.

Oh, and Yaay! Fifty Chapters! *does happy dance*

The next part is some romantic stuff with Nikky and Grimmy. Yaay harmless stuff! But after that… there will be some fun stuff with Aja… oh hell, I had lotsa fun typing that one up!

Oh well. Enough of my rambling. Please review!


	51. Chapter 51: Necisito Pensar

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

News flash! I don't own Bleach! … But you… already knew that. T_T

Chapter 51: Necisito Pensar

La Psíquica (Nicole)

It was evening. I was on my way to get some tea before I went to bed. For the past few nights I've crashed with Aja, but she has the most fucked up sleep cycle I've ever seen, so I couldn't sleep at all.

… I'll have to sleep in Grimmjow's room. Hence the tea. Aizen got me addicted to it. It's really calming!

Anyway, the tea kettles were calling to me. I was kinda out of it, you know, calm and peaceful. Maybe sleeping with Grimmjow won't be so bad. I mean, I've done it before. (Not in the skanky way) It was kinda warm…

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't see Grimmjow walking towards me. I didn't even notice his presence until he grabbed me, almost roughly. Before I could say anything, I felt his mouth close over mine, and his arms wrap around me tightly.

My dazed mind suddenly cleared.

"Mmrph-" I tried to protest, squirming. Unfortunately, Grimmjow is frickin' ripped, so my struggling did me no good. He pulled away, not letting me go and staring at me with his piercing blue-green eyes. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding and a warm buzz spread in my stomach.

"Uh-uh-I'm going to uh- get some tea," I stammered. I need to think. Thinking is hard to do when you're pinned to a wall by a muscular guy who just kissed you.

"Alright. I'll go with you," Grimmjow volunteered. Crap. That's exactly what I didn't want him to do!

"Uh… no- I think I'm going to bed," I countered.

"Then I'll have to go with you too," Grimmjow smirked a little. I frowned.

"I'm going to take a shower," I announced, stalking to the bathroom across the hall from Grimmjow's room. He went to follow, and I spun around, pointing a finger at him. "No,"

Grimmjow shrugged and waited outside as I locked the bathroom door. Once safe inside, I stared at me reflection.

Oh my God. This super hot guy who I kinda like just kissed me! It took all of my female pride to keep from squealing like a fan girl. Do I like him? Well… he's attractive, powerful, fun to spar with, and I was all worried about him when he almost died because of me… so I think I do like him. Holy crap!

Aw damn, I wanna scream. I'd better take a bath. I stuck my head into the shower and realized I'd have to use Grimmjow's soap. Damn.

Sighing, I stripped and bathed. Grimmjow's shampoo and stuff smelled nice… like Axe. It mighta even have been Axe; I was too bubbly to notice.

Once I was out of the shower, I toweled dry and wrapped myself in said fluffy towel. I wanted to change into some clean clothes, but they were in Grimmjow's room. Half scowling, half excited, I slinked into Grimmjow's room. I slipped into my pajamas in the dark room, wiling myself not to stare at Grimmjow how was sleeping on his bed. I then padded over to a soft spot on the carpet and laid down on it. I know he just kissed me, but I'm still not just gonna sleep with him.

"What are you doing?" Grimmjow asked, sitting up.

"Trying to sleep," I replied. Grimmjow frowned, got up and picked me up off of the floor. I squeaked in surprise as he carried me to his bed.

"You used my shampoo…" he commented, playing with my hair a little.

"Sorry, my stuff was in here," I replied, not wanting to piss him off.

"That's fine," Grimmjow shrugged, laying me on his bed and lying down next to me. "It smells good on you,"

I felt my cheeks flush as I sank into the soft mattress and let sleep wash over me.

AXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXEAXE

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

I apologize if I wrote Grimmjow out of character. I'd like to think that he's capable of being fluffy at times…

Please do review.


	52. Chapter 52:Pelo Rubio

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 52: Pelo Rubio

El Bronista (Aja)

I should've suspected something when my shampoo smelled different. But noo… after my shower, I realized (to my horror) that my hair was no longer black… but blonde.

You see, my hair is naturally blonde. And I mean real, bleach blonde. When I was little, my mom cut some of it off and compared it to a Barbie doll, and they looked the same, that's how blonde my hair was. But, when I had blonde hair, nobody took me seriously. I mean, where I came from, they took 'dumb blonde' literally. So, naturally, I dyed it. Who could have done this?

When I asked Maddie, she was unsympathetic.

"Darling, that's what ya get fer puttin' stuff in peoples' shampoos," Maddie drawled, sounding eerily like Gin.

"Why are you-"

"Because I can! Anyway, you say it yourself- Karma's a bitch," Maddie told me frankly. I shrugged and piled all of my hair into my favourite black hat. Today, I felt like wearing all black. Unfortunately, apparently from a distance, I look like a Shinigami. This lead to… problems later on.

"Shinigami die!" I heard somebody scream as I was walking back to my room. I jumped and almost got sliced in half by a short female arrancar with long, acid green hair, yellow slitted eyes and a halter dress with slits up the sides.

"Wha- hey! I'm not a Shini-" I was cut off (literally) by this arrancar's zanpaktou slicing at my arm.

"Damn," I swore, trying to push her back with my telekinesis. Unfortunately, this person was fast. I got in a flew blows, and she got in a few blows, and-

"Stop."

Both of us froze, and turned to see Aizen standing behind us. He looked mildly irritated.

"What are you wearing?" he demanded of me.

"Clothes," I replied coyly. Aizen narrowed his eyes.

"Why?" He asked.

"You're asking me why I'm wearing clothing." I snickered.

"No, those clothes," Aizen corrected, his voice now icy cold.

"'Cuz I like it," I replied, twirling around in a circle.

"Yes, but why aren't you wearing the uniform I gave you?" Aizen demanded.

"Because I don't' want to," I retorted, crossing my arms stubbornly. Aizen sighed.

"Well then, I'll just have to discipline you," he told me seriously. "Follow me."

"What-"

"NOW."

"Humph," I grumbled, following Aizen. How was he going to punish me? He was going to his room by the looks of it. Great… he'd better not be-

Oh dear, what if he is? 'Punishment' can mean a hell of a lot of things, most of which are kinky.

When I stepped into his room, Aizen was waiting for me patiently.

"As I recall, you give good back rubs," he told me. Aw shit. I was hoping he wasn't lucid enough to remember that!

"I don't' know what you're talking about," I told Aizen earnestly. Aizen just gave me this LOOK, and I sighed. "Okay, get on the bed,"

Aizen smirked and began taking off his shirt.

"Um… you can keep your shirt on," I told him hastily. Aizen continued, folding the articles of clothing onto a table next to his bed. "What did I say?"

"Something about me keeping my shirt on," Aizen answered me, smirking a little more. "You never seem to listen to me…" With that, he sat down on the bed and rolled over. Sighing, I climbed on top of him, my cheeks blazing.

Aizen's back was all knotted up again. Jeez, what does he do?

"Okay, you should seriously invest in yoga," I commented as I began my massage.

"Hmm… I never have the time," Aizen replied, resting his chin on his arms. "Calming tea helps,"

"That's not what your back says," I retorted, loosing another knot. Aizen sighed.

"My days are stressful," he pointed out. "You don't know how hard it is to be God,"

"Poor bay-bee," I muttered sarcastically. Aizen glared at me warningly and I cracked his back.

"Ah," I murmured closing his eyes. I cracked his back again and an evil thought came to me.

"You know, it takes only 60 pounds to snap a human's neck," I commented casually, Aizen turned to look up at me.

"Yes, but I'm not human," he pointed out.

"Okay, 70 pounds," I shrugged, cracking his back again.

"What was that?" Aizen asked curiously.

"70 pounds?" I asked.

"No- there's something wet on my back," Aizen corrected me. I looked down and saw my blood dripping onto his back. I felt my stomach heave.

"Ah," I mumbled, getting off of Aizen's back. Aizen sat up, felt his back and stared at the blood on his fingertips.

"You're injured," he remarked. I clutched my side. Now that I was aware of it, it hurt like a motherfucker!

"Why'd you tell me," I hissed, suppressing a wave of nausea.

"You're squeamish," Aizen stated, a small smile on his lips.

"Only of my own blood!" I exclaimed, feeling light headed.

"Come here," Aizen sighed. I complied grudgingly, trying to keep conscious. Aizen moved to take off my shirt and I squeaked in protest. "I have to take it off,"

"Hm," I muttered as he peeled off the bloody material. I felt bile at the back of my throat, and tried to think of something else. I let my head fall onto Aizen's shoulder. It seemed only then that my light headed-ness died down. I felt his hand on my side and a gentle tickling sensation that made the pain slowly ebb away.

"Healing… kidou?" I mumbled, trying to distract myself.

"Yes. I've developed it at a level where I don't' need the incantation," Aizen told me softly. "I'm surprised that you were able to make it so far with your injuries,"

"High pain tolerance," I mumbled again, starting to feel drowsy. "If I fall asleep, will I die?"

"I highly doubt it," Aizen replied. "And if you do, I'll just make you an arrancar,"

"Gee, thanks," I muttered sarcastically.

"What's under this?" Aizen asked, tugging at my hat.

"Hair," I replied drowsily. He pulled it off and let my hair tumbledown.

"Hm… what a pretty shade," Aizen commented softly. I was too tired to care.

I woke up a bit later with someone poking my back. I blearily rolled over and looked up at my attacker.

"There's blood on the sheets an' clothes on the floor… what were ya two doin'?" A wickedly grinning Gin asked me.

"Huh-what? Nothing like that, I don't even swing that way!" I explained, reddening at Gin's implication.

"Ookay," Gin shrugged as I got up. I noticed Aizen left one of my uniforms at the foot of his bed.

"Go away Gin," I ordered the ex-shinigami. He shrugged again and went for the door. Before he left though, he stopped.

"Ya know, Souske-sama likes blondes," he commented before leaving.

Shit.

BLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDEBLONDE

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay fluff! And back rubs… and blood… Heheh…

Please review!

Oh, and LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! MWAHAHAHAHAH!

Sorry about that…


	53. Chapter 53: El Tiene Problemas

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 53: El Tiene Problemas

El Fuego (Chloe)

Operation: re-organize Szayel's chemicals. Aka: Who should I mess with when I'm bored? I ended up writing everybody's names onto little sheets of paper and blindly drew one. Szayel's came up.

Now who would I do this? Well, I'll sneak down into Szayel's lab, find his chemicals and mess them up! Sounds simple, right? Wrong! That man has tons and tons of laboratories. I mean how many labs does one scientist need anyway? Unless… he cloned himself and there are actually like, several Szayels running around… oh my God he would.

Lost in a maze of labs, I randomly walked into one. The room was filled with computers, and had one really large screen with a face on it. As soon as I walked in, it spoke.

"SCANNING: … HELLO CHLOE COLLIN," it greeted me in a feminine voice.

"Hello…?" I asked, creeped out. A talking computer…

"DO NOT BE ALARMED. I AM C.A.T.E.," the computer told me.

"C.A.T.E.? What does that stand for?" I asked curiously.

"CERIBRIAL APPERATUS FOR TECHNICAL ENLIGHTENMENT," C.A.T.E. explained with a hint of pride in her voice.

"Cool, what do you do?" I wondered.

"I ANALYZE DATA AND SUCH," C.A.T.E told me proudly. "I ALSO ACT AS AN OUTLET FOR SZAYEL-APORRO'S ANGER AND FRUSTRATION,"

"Hm… can I rant at you then?" I asked cautiously.

"SURE," C.A.T.E. replied.

"So, I'm mad at Ulquiorra. That man has ISSUES!" I began, feeling pent up irritation flow out. It really wasn't like me, but I've had to put up with a lot of crap recently. "He won't let me leave the room, locks up my books, and yells at me when I set things on fire!"

"HM… ULQUIORRA SCHIFFER, CUATRA ESPADA. STRICT, STERN STOIC AND VERY ORGANIZED. LOYAL TO SOUSKE AIZEN AND MOST LIKELY HAS OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER WITH REGARDS TO CLENLINESS," C.A.T.E. told me.

"Hell yes! If I put one book out of order, he gets all pissy at me! And he never calls me by my name-"

"AND HE CALLED ME TRASH. IT HURT MY SYNTHISIZED FEELINGS," C.A.T.E. added.

"Indeed," I fumed. "Why can't I be wit Ichimaru-san or something? He's nice to Maddie and lets her do practically whatever she wants!"

"EH… ICHIMARU-SAN ISN'T NICE PERSAY… HE'S… JUST… ICHIMARU," C.A.T.E. warned me. "ALSO, MADDIE IS OBLIVIOUS," I shrugged.

"And…" I stopped. I could hear a quick clicking of footsteps leaving this area. I blinked and looked down the hall to see Ulquiorra's retreating back.

He heard us.

Oh crap.

TRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASH

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Oh boy. Things are really heating up for Chloe! What will our bubbly friend do? Review and find out!

Oh, and a big thanks to Bladre MKT, meh Spanish beta. I guess I'm not so good at Spanish as I thought T_T…anyways, thanks a bunch!


	54. Chapter 54: El Tiene Problemas Parte 2

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 54: El Tiene Problemas Parte 2

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

"Here," I said coldly, giving Szayel a stack of papers. The Octava Espada now had a permanent grin plastered on his face, which is most likely due to the pictures of him and that boy kissing that were floating around.

"Why thank you Ulquiorra," Szayel thanked me jovially. "How has your charge been behaving?"

"Why do you need to know?" I asked coolly.

"Well, I'm just curious," Szayel backtracked. "No need to get all defensive,"

"I wasn't getting defensive," I muttered." The woman has been quite irritating,"

"Ah. Well, I've heard that Miss Collin is a very… energetic person," Szayel nodded.

"She's the reason you lost your hair," I added. Szayel's grin vanished.

"I see," he said icily.

"Her emotions are frustrating. She can go from energetic to silent in a few minutes. How is that possible?" I demanded, feeling very loquacious for some odd reason.

"Humans. They are peculiar beings," Szayel noted.

"Well, you're the one who is romantically involved with one," I scoffed at Szayel.

"So is Grimmjow," Szayel pointed out.

"He's trash," I retorted.

"And I've heard whispers that Ichimaru is interested in his charge," Szayel told me. "It seems that these new humans are causing unexpected changes. They are fascinating to observe,"

"They are probably just rumours… and even if they were true… Ichimaru is odd," Szayel shrugged. "And why are you going so cheerful? It's unlike you,"

"Eh?" Szayel blinked, and then walked out of his room. "Come with me. I have something I must show you," I sighed and followed Szayel.

"This better not take long," I grumbled.

"It will be worth it. You need to meet C.A.T.E," Szayel told me. He then stopped in front of a door.

"You mean that talking computer thing?" I asked, disgust colouring my voice.

"Yes… it seems you've already met it," Szayel sighed, opening the door some.

"… and he never even calls me by his name!" my charge shouted. I stopped Szayel.

"I'll pass," I muttered under my breath and stalked off. She was talking about me behind my back? I know many people do, but her… it was irritating. Who knows what else she was angry with me about… and why do I even care?

Furious with myself and the woman, I stalked down the halls. I heard soft footsteps pattering behind me but ignored them. They were probably Szayel's. Except… the person's reitsu was more explosive, warmer and more agitated. I turned and saw the woman chasing after me. When she saw me turn around she stopped abruptly, an uncharacteristic frown on her face.

"I was loud," she started quietly. I nodded.

"You're loud often," I agreed coolly.

"I'm not saying I was wrong," she added. She should've sounded angry, but she seemed calm (for once). I narrowed my eyes.

"Why aren't you angry?" I asked.

"Well, you haven't pissed me off yet," the woman replied.

"Language," I remarked dryly. "And I called you loud… isn't that an insult?"

"English," she told me. "And I am loud. It's part of who I am. Kinda like how you never use my name,"

"You seem to obsess over that," I commented.

"As you obsess over my loudness," she countered.

"So if I use your name…"

"I'll try to be quieter," she finished. "Deal?"

"I suppose," I sighed. This was irritating. Why was I doing this? "Follow me, you shouldn't be out of your room wo-Chloe," I told her, turning around sharply. Chloe… it's not like the names of any of the arrancar. It was… different.

OIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Hallo hallo beautiful people! Thank you for the reviews!

The arc of fluffiness is almost over. Just gotta do Maddie's part, and then… the Soul Society arc begins!

Yes, you heard me right; I'm actually sticking some protagonists in here! OMG!

Yeah… and you'll be without some evil people for a good 18 chapters. So brace yourselves!

And… please review!


	55. Chapter 55: Te Quiero

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 55: Te Quiero

La Sonrisa (Gin)

(A/N: This takes place during /a little before Dakota's four way man fight ^_^)

I was bored.

I also was in trouble with Aizen for drawing on Tousen's visor, so I was confined to my room for a day or two (A/N: O_o Gin's grounded).

Irritated, I paced around my room. I hate being stuck in once place for too long! Especially somewhere boring, like my room.

I heard a timid little knock on the door leading to Maddie's room and smiled a bit. Well, if I have someone to entertain me, confinement can't be too bad…

"Come in," I announced, and Maddie stepped in.

"Um… have you seen one of my jump drives? It's the orange one," she asked me.

"Orange…?" I mumbled, digging through my bed where I kept things I've swiped from Maddie's room.

"Is that one of my pens?" she asked suspiciously.

"Eh?" I asked innocently, and Maddie frowned.

"If you keep stealing my stuff, you'll impose bad habits on Sophie," she told me sternly.

"I know!" I exclaimed gleefully. "Corrupting the young is one of my specialties," Maddie face palmed and watched me pull out a little black box with some orange on it. "This what yer lookin' fer?"

"Yes, can I have it back?" Maddie asked, walking over by me. I held it high in the air and shook my head.

"Nope. Not 'till ya tell me what's on it," I told her. Maybe she has dirty pictures or something on there that she doesn't want anyone to find out…

"It's anime," Maddie replied, trying to jump up and grab it. Ah… no dirty pictures. Oh well, anime made me interested.

"What kinda anime?" I asked, casually strolling around Maddie in circles, still dangling the jump drive just out of her reach.

"Funny anime," she replied, stopping her jumping, folding her arms and giving me a dirty look.

"Ooh, not the scary look," I teased. "I'll let ya have it back if I can watch it with ya,"

"Okay, follow me," Maddie cracked a smile, going into her room. Technically, her room is part of my room, I mean, they're connected, right?

"Where's Sophie-chan?" I asked, noting the toddler's absence.

"Eh, she's with Wonderwice," Maddie replied, flopping on her bed and opening her laptop. I sat down next to her and watched with interest as she plugged in her jump drive and started up some program. Within moments, the show began.

Episodes passed. People interrupted us with romantic drama, causing me to grin at Maddie giving her friends advice even though she had no experience in the subject herself. Ah, the innocence of youth.

I found the show (called 'Soul Eater') quite funny. It bore some similarities to our world, only there was only one Shinigami (who seemed to be a joke in my opinion… and who had a kid? What about his mom?) And instead of the big bad evil force being Aizen, it was some creepy witch lady and a guy who made everybody around him crazy. Then again… if Aizen did get a hold of the Kishin…

Ah, anyway. The show was fun. Maddie made passing cracks at the characters. Eventually she grew tired and fell asleep. By now it was evening, and the lights would be flickering out soon. When they did, I didn't leave Maddie's room. For one thing, she was curled up next to me, and me getting up would probably wake her up (although she would probably blush and apologize, which would be amusing), and for another thing, I was comfortable. Staring at Maddie's sleeping form, I started thinking.

Ya see, I don't have the same issues with likin' someone that Souske-sama (he and Aja definitely have something, even though neither one of them will admit it) or Grimmjow have. I understand that I like Maddie, and I've accepted the fact. She's mine. Anyone with a problem with that will just have to die (unless the person is Aizen, in which I'll just have a secret affair. I've done it before…)

Unfortunately, she's a little dense on the topic. But that's what makes her so adorable. And as I said before… corrupting the young is one of my specialties.

Also, I have all of the time in the world! It's not like she's going anywhere…

__________________THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK__________________

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaay double update! I was bored today and really wanted to crank this one out so that I could start the Soul Society arc. I'm excited! I remember I was really excited to write this part. It was sooo much fun!

Well… not for Dakota. But…

By the way, check out Dit-Dah on . He's the guy who plays Dakota. Props to you mah peep!

Please review.


	56. Chapter 56: Traidores

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 56: Traidores

Psitica (Nicole)

"You've got a spy!" I demanded. Aizen nodded, pointing to a group of four people in shinigami robes.

"Actually, he's got several," Maddie corrected, walking over by me with Sophie on her shoulders.

"Yeah, they're like Kabutos!"Dakota exclaimed. He's kinda still a Naruto fan…

"Nice," Aja remarked. She used to be a Naruto fan…

"Yaay ninja!" Chloe piped up," walking in. I don't know about her…

"Hn. Why are you all here?"Aizen asked us.

"Because we can be," I replied.

"And Ayamaru wanted to say goodbye to us," Chloe added. I nodded. We'd gotten to know Ayamaru, Marutobo, Ameki and Sorako fairly well over the past two weeks comparing information. They are really cool. Ayamaru is kina a pyromaniac weird guy from the 8th squad. He has the speech impediment that Deidara has, and kinda acts like him too. It's really creepy…

Marutobo is from the 12th squad (Maddie and Aja say this makes sense because Marutobo doesn't speak, and thus can't piss his captain off. Marutobo agrees (silently)). He's really tall and muscular even though he's silent. He also doesn't like Szayel at all and stays away from the man at all costs. It's odd.

Ameki and Sorako are actually ninja. Apparently, there is a ninja squad in the Soul Society. I find that really cool. They are twin sisters and are practically inseparable.

"Well, I guess we'll be going, yeah," Ayamaru announced. He has the speech impediment that Deidara has. It's actually kinda creepy when you think about it.

"Yup," Ameki agreed.

"Indeed," Sorako piped up. Marutobo stayed silent. Some days I wonder if he can even say anything.

"Well yeah…" Ayamaru trailed off, opening the portal.

"It's time," Sorako announced. I felt someone grab my arm. Someone grabbed me and pushed me around. I heard yelps of protest from Aja, Dakota, Chloe and Maddie and felt myself fall onto a wooden floor.

I didn't know much… but I did know that we were no longer in Hueco Mundo.

OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES! OH NOES!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Sorry about the short chapter. I give you all five guesses where they are now…  
Then next chapter is going to be in the omniscient point of view. So yeah… hopefully the Spanish word I put up there next chapter means that…. XP

Please review!


	57. Chapter 57: Ayudanos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. I own Maddie, Aja, Dakota, Chloe, Nicole, Sophie, Ayamaru, Marutobo, Ameki and Sorako. I also own a computer. I also own marshmallow peeps…

Grimmjow: Shut the fuck up and get on with the story! Since you're taking my woman away from me…

Nicole: YOUR WOMAN?

Me: Heheh… on with the story! Also… feel free to ignore Ominciante's editorial remarks. Its' kinda a smartass…

Chapter 57: Ayudenos!

Omniciente

Many things happened at once. Aizen's four spies, Ayamaru, Ameki, Sorako and Marutobo called out our six protagonists and pulled them through a portal into the Seretei.

"Shit, we were supposed to make it to a captain's meeting," Sorako swore. They landed in a hallway, where Ichigo Kurosaki and Captain Byakuya Kuchki were arguing with each other about Rukia.

"And-HOLY SHIT!" Ichigo exclaimed. All he saw was four shinigami with four girls, a boy and a toddler dressed in arrancar uniforms falling out of a random gartanta.

"What the-" Byakuya muttered (He's too cool to swear). Ichigo drew his sword and pointed it at a red-haired girl (Nicole) who stared at him.

"What the fucking hell is going on?"She demanded.

"I don't know, but I'm gonna find out," Ichigo declared, shoving his sword in front of Nicole's face.

"I don't wanna fucking deal with you!" Nicole shouted.

"Nikki, calm down," Maddie suggested, standing up and clutching Sophie.

"Hell fucking no! I've just been kidnapped and now this orangey is waving his fuckin' meat cleaver in my face!" Nicole ranted.

"This can't be good," Dakota muttered.

"Noope," Chloe nodded, glancing at Aja. Of course, today had to be the one day Aja decided to wear her uniform, which looks just like Aizen's. The normally bubbly girl was now silent, her mind ticking away steadily.

Nicole's mind was ticking too- just at a breakneck pace. She wanted information, and the best way to get said information was to go into someone's head. Unfortunately… Ichigo wasn't exactly alone in his mind, and Nicole wasn't into Bleach enough to know this… so she forced herself into Ichigo's mind and found herself standing on a sideways building. Ichigo was standing across from her, looking bewildered.

"H-h-how the hell did you get in here?" he demanded.

"Hey King, ya brought a guest," Nicole heard the disturbing voice of an Ichigo-look-alike with white hair, white clothes and glowing yellow eyes.

"The fuck? Are you schizophrenic or something?" Nicole demanded.

"What the hell are you doing in my head?" Ichigo demanded, ignoring his inner hollow. Said hollow sonidoed over by Nicole and clasped a hand on her shoulder.

"Ay King, yer so rude ta the ladies," he drawled into Nicole's ear. Nicole panicked, and pulled out of Ichigo's mind.

Sadly, once she was in her own body, the hollow was still with her.

"What just happened?" Maddie asked.

"I don't know! HE just grabbed me and-"

"I'VE GOT MY OWN BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the hollow roared happily, and began to cackle maniacally. Ichigo backed away slowly, and Byakuya sighed heavily.

"This will take some work…"

After several minutes of yelling, screaming, shoving, threatening, waving around zanpaktou and bribing, the whole menagerie of shinigami, hollows and random humans caught in the middle ended up in the 1st squad's barracks in front of all of the captains (that didn't go with Aizen. Suckers)

"What is the meaning of this?" Yamamoto (yes, that old guy) roared.

"We've discovered that these girls-"

"Hey! I'm a guy!" Dakota protested. All of the captains glared at him.

"Anyway, these people are from another world, yeah," Ayamaru finished.

"Not only are they from another world, they know more than humanly possible about the 13 Gotai," Sorako added.

"Humph. And they work for Aizen?"" Yamamoto inquired.

"Why else would they be in Hueco Mundo?" Ameki asked. Maddie opened her mouth to say something… but didn't. Yamamoto turned and looked at Ichigo and his hollow.

"What is the meaning of this?" he repeated.

"Your mother," Nicole muttered, being the smartass she is. Oh snap.

"What was that?" Yamamoto demanded.

"Nothing," Nicole chirped innocently (hah). Maddie chose now to use her power to calm everybody down. Yamamoto glanced at Maddie warily before continuing.

"What happened?" he asked.

"That red-haired girl went into my head and pulled out my inner hollow," Ichigo told the old man.

"And how did you do that?" Yamamoto asked Nicole.

"I'm special," she retorted.

"They all have special powers yeah," Ayamaru added.

"Ah. Are they dangerous?" Yamamoto inquired.

"Some of them. But Maddie's ability seems to be the only non-threatening one," Ameki replied. Yamamoto frowned.

"Hm… what to do with them?" he mused aloud.

"May I suggest that I be allowed to study them?" Captain Mayuri (being the weirdie that he is) asked. Or protagonists all paled, sans Aja.

"We need to get information out of them though," Captain Unohana pointed out.

"It would be wise to place them under the watch of several different captains, if I may be so bold to suggest yeah," Ayamaru mentioned.

"Wow, since when were you so polite?" Captain Kyoraku joked. Ayamaru winced.

"Aizen's big on manners yeah," he muttered.

"Hm… I agree. Several captains would be a good idea," Yamamoto nodded, turning to Nicole. "Where should she go?"

"Eleventh squad yeah," Ayamaru replied. "She's trouble,"

"Yes," Aja mumbled softly.

"Damn straight!" Nicole agreed.

"Enough!" Yamamoto barked. "What about her?" He was pointing at Aja. Maddie used her ability to determine that Aja was in the middle of a major autistic moment. Who knows when it would wear off…?

"Um, excuse me sir?" Maddie asked timidly, raising her hand.

"What?" Yamamoto asked.

"Ashi's autistic," she explained.

"What? No she isn't, she dyed Aizen's' hair purple yeah!"

"Szayel Aporro-sama put her on meds," Dakota piped up. "The meds wore off,"

"Hm… I'll save her for later. What about the boy?" Yamamoto demanded of Ayamaru's group.

"I'd advise Kurotsuchi-taichou," Ameki told Yamamoto. "Manier-san has worked with Aizen's head scientist very closely-"

"Very. Especially in biology," Ayamaru snickered. Dakota reddened and glared at Ayamaru, internally vowing that if they ever got out of this, he'd skin Ayamaru alive and pickle his intestines.

"Aizen has a scientist? How fascinating…" Mayuri grinned his creeper smile.

"Alright… and the girl with the toddler?" Yamamoto asked.

"I'd advise you separate them-"

"WHAT?" Maddie cut off Ayamaru's advice. "How could you do that? Sophie's not-"

"SILENCE!" Yamamoto boomed.

"It is unfortunate to separate a child from her mother," Captain Hitsugaya pointed out. Maddie's left eye twitched dangerously.

"Um, sister," Sorako corrected Toshiro. "Maddie isn't tha much of a troublemaker, so she'd do well with you,"

"As for Sophie, stick 'er with Yachiru-fukitaichou yeah," Ayamaru advised.

"Alright-"

"How come the 11th squad gets two of them?" Mayuri complained.

"Oh, shut yer yapping," Captain Zaraki growled at Mayuri.

"IF you want a second one, you can have the autistic girl," Yamamoto gold Mayuri coldly.

"Why are we being treated like cattle at an auction?" Maddie wondered aloud.

"What about me?" Chloe asked nervously.

"Hm…" Yamamoto murmured.

"Stick her with someone calm yeah," Ayamaru suggested.

"I'm calm!" Mayuri remarked.

"You already have two," Toshiro pointed out.

"Byakuya," Yamamoto told them. The stoic captain sighed inwardly and nodded slightly.

"There. NOW EVERYBODY OUT!"

SOMEBODY SAVE ME SOMEBODY SAVE US SOMEBODY SAVE ME PLEASE GOD LET SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THESE CRAZIES…

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Loooong chapter. This makes up for the short one before it.

So now everybody is in the Soul Society. And there will be romances among the Soul Reapers too, so you'll get your amount of tortured romantic minds and fluff…

Can you guess the pairings? Some hints!

Aja's has not shown up yet, but she's not a captain

Dakota doesn't really have one.

Chloe's is obvious (she has two… kinda)

As is Nicole's

As is Maddie's (kinda. I waffled on giving her someone else… you'll meet him later on too)


	58. Chapter 58: Nicole Pelea

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 58: Nicole Pelea

Omniciente

"Take good care of her," Maddie told Nicole seriously, handing her Sophie. Aja silently walked over and handed Sophie her teddy bear.

"Aja! Don' goes!" Sophie whined. "Mani-"

"Girl! Quit wasting time!" Mayuri shouted. Aja ignored him and looked solemnly at Maddie and Nicole

"This is awkward," Nicole announced.

"Ashi, hold on," Maddie told her friend he shoulder.

"GIRL!" Mayuri yelled. Aja clasped her hands over her ears. The scientist stomped over and grabbed Aja by her short, still blonde hair.

"Please be gentle with her-"

"I will handle this girl how I see fit," Mayuri snarled at Maddie, who winced. Toshiro walked over by Maddie and told her to follow him. Chloe was already gone with the stoic Byakuya and Dakota meekly followed an irate Mayuri. This left Nicole and Sophie all alone. Kenpachi stomped over by Nicole and Sophie, grinning savagely.

"Hey. So you're a troublemaker, eh?" he asked.

"Hell yes," Nicole replied. "If you fuck with me I will ream you a new asshole,"

'Hahah, we're gonna have some FUN!" Kenpachi roared with laughter. "Follow me,"

Warily, Nicole complied, with Sophie following her cheerfully. Sophie was a little confused as to what was going on, but she had her teddy bear (affectionately named 'Psychobear') and she was with Nicole.

Little did anyone know, Aja put her father's favourite dagger inside this teddy bear. She had brought it along to show it off to the ninja twins Sorako and Ameki, but never got the chance.

Kenpachi reached the squad 11 barracks. AS soon as he opened the doors, a blur of pink attacked him.

"Ken-chan!" it squealed. Nicole backed away slowly. "Did you get to fight anyone?"

"I wasn't' allowed to… stupid captain's meeting," Kenpachi grumbled.

"Oh… and you've got a girlfriend!" Vice Captain Yachiru squealed, pointing at Nicole.

"HELL NO!" Nicole exclaimed.

"Awww… she's shy!" Yachiru giggled. She then spotted Sophie. "So CUUUUUUUUTE!""

"I Sophie," Sophie announced.

"I'm Yachiru!" Yachiru introduced herself.

"I wanna play with Psychobear!" Sophie told Yachiru.

"Yaay Psychobear!" Yachiru giggled, dragging Sophie off.

"So… can you fight?" Kenpachi asked Nicole.

"Hell yes," Nicole grinned. "Give me a shotgun and I'll show you," Coincidentally, back in Nicole's world, she was on a trap shooting team. It fits her personality well, neh?

"A what?" Kenpachi asked, looking confused.

"Ah… never mind," Nicole muttered. "Damn I wish I had my katana,"

Kenpachi lead Nicole to an armory where she picked out a sword. This was actually a foolish thing to do, because he had no reason to believe that she wouldn't try to kill him. In fact, Kenpachi was supposed to be interrogating Nicole, but he was probably too excited to have a new fighting partner to remember this. Ah… berserker types. What can ya do with them?

Two people stuck their heads out: Yumichika and Ikkaku.

"Hey Zaraki-taichou, who's that?" Ikkaku asked.

"Prisoner," Kenpachi grunted. "There's another one with Yachiru,"

"Hm… she doesn't seem to be too ugly… but can she fight?" Yumichika asked.

"Naw, she's a girl," Ikkaku replied. Nicole spun around, her eye twitching.

"Baldy, you're dead,"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

-Elsewhere-

"Go away,"

"Naw,"

"Go AWAY!"

"Nope,"

"GO THE FUCK AWAY!" Ichigo screamed at his inner (and now outer) hollow.

"I don't wanna," the hollow (Now dubbed Hichigo Shirosaki) whined.

"Shouldn't you be in the 12th division, being hacked to pieces by that Mayuri freak?" Ichigo demanded.

"Ichigo1 be more polite!" Rukia yelled, whacking Ichigo over the head.

"He started it," Ichigo retorted. Hichigo stuck his tongue out (and Rukia shuddered- his mouth was blue!) and blew a wet raspberry.

"GO THE HELL AWAY!" Ichigo and Rukia yelled. Hichigo frowned and folded his arms.

"Nobody loves me," he complained.

"You're a monster! Why would we love you?" Ichigo demanded. Hichigo frowned and stalked off.

"I think you were too mean," Rukia told Ichigo.

"Humph," he replied.

-Yet Elsewhere-

Hichigo quickly walked down the halls of the Seretei, frowning. The King was being an asshole… neh, he probably just wanted to be alone with that Rukia chick… personally, and Hichigo was more interested in that Orihime girl… she's stacked…

Hichigo's mind wandered to that strange girl who liberated him. He didn't even know her name, but boy was she a looker! Hichigo suddenly got an idea. He searched for her reitsu (it's ironic: Hichigo is better at sensing reitsu than Ichigo is) and walked off towards it. He stopped in front of the squad 11 barracks and frowned. The doors were closed.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and a huge man with spiky hair and scars leaped out.

"Kurosaki-wait… you ain' Kurosaki," Kenpachi stopped, looking confused.

"Naw, yer lookin' fer the King, who chased me away. I'm lookin' fer that girl ay got recently," Hichigo drawled lazily.

"Nicole? She's fighting Ikkaku," Kenpachi shrugged. He then grinned widely. "If you want to see her, come on and kill me!" Hichigo broke out into a fit of maniacal laughter.

"Glad to oblige!" he cackled, drawing his zanpaktou.

"Zaraki-taichou!" a random shinigami interrupted them.

"What?" Kenpachi snapped.

"You need to see Ikkaku-san and this Nicole woman…" he trailed off. Kenpachi and Hichigo followed this shinigami to a wide open space. Ikkaku and Nicole were facing each other, swords drawn, covered in cuts and panting. Nicole tilted her sword down and rushed Ikkaku. He side stepped, Nicole switched and sliced across Ikkaku's chest. Ikkaku swung his zanpaktou down and Nicole jumped out of the way. Their swords clashed and clanged, drawing the attention of almost the whole 11th squad plus some squad 4 members (anticipating injuries) and Shinsuui (who happened to be passing though).

"Damn, that woman's on fire," Hichigo murmured.

"Shouldn't you be with Kurotsuchi?" Shinsuui remarked lightly. "He's looking for you," Hichigo glanced nervously at the two captains.

"… You never saw me," he announced.

Finally, Ikkaku forced Nicole to the ground.

"You give up?" Ikkaku asked. Nicole coughed up some blood and grimaced.

"I suppose," she muttered. Ikkaku grinned and helped her up.

"You fight like a man. In fact, you probably fight better than most men. Welcome to the 11th squad," he told Nicole. Hichigo watched Nicole with a wide smirk across his face.

"Now that I am King… I'll need ta get myself a Queen…"

GASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASP

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

So yes. Kinda long chapter. Sorry, no double update today… I need to be typing up the drabbles and sending them to my peep Kitsunage. By the way, look for a story by me called 'The Last Days: A Series of Drabbles'. If all goes according to plan, there will be Bleached Armageddon drabbles while I am away. I did this just for all of you junkies who like mah stuff. Thank you very much for supporting me.

To show your support, will ya review?


	59. Chapter 59: No Di La Verdad

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 59: No Di La Verdad!

Omniciente

Chloe followed Byakuya quietly, analyzing her surroundings and waiting for Nicole's psychic advice/ orders.

/Lie like a rug/ Nicole told Chloe.

/Okay…/ Chloe thought nervously.

/But be convincing/ Nicole added.

/Great…/ Chloe muttered. She looked up.

"Kuchki taichou, are we under attack?" Renji Abarai asked his captain eagerly, sticking a head out of a room.

"No. We have to monitor a prisoner however," Byakuya told his vice captain, indicating Chloe with a casual swipe of the hand.

"Hi! I'm Chloe Collin!" Chloe introduced herself cheerfully.

"Well… you're awfully chipper for a prisoner," Renji remarked. "Wait- are you an arrancar?"

"No, I'm human," Chloe replied. "Can't you sense my reitsu?" Renji frowned and looked at Byakuya.

"What are you going to do with her?" he asked.

"Interrogate her…" Byakuya answered. Chloe gulped audibly.

Byakuya led Chloe into a bland room and pointed to a chair. Chloe nervously sat down, and Byakuya towered over her.

"Your name is Chloe Collin?" he asked.

"Yes," Chloe nodded.

"And you are human, not arrancar?" Byakuya asked.

"Yeah, I'm human," Chloe answered.

"Then why does Aizen keep you around?" Byakuya demanded.

"Because we're special," Chloe replied. Byakuya frowned.

"How so?" he wanted to know. Chloe just smiled and held out her hands. Small flames of fire licked up their sides. Byakuya took a step back and observed Chloe's reitsu. It was odd, sparratic, changing almost constantly and giving off an intense heat. It wasn't like that of a human, but it also wasn't like a Shinigami's.

"Hm," Byakuya murmured. No wonder Kurotsuchi was so excite3d. "What do you know about Aizen's plans?"

"Well, they involve drinking tea," Chloe replied cheekily. "But other than that, I've got nothing,"

"How can you not know? Don't you work for him?" Byakuya demanded, giving her The Kuchki GLARE ™.

"No, I honestly don't know why we were in Hueco Mundo," Chloe told Byakuya honestly. "I was brought there later on,"

"Later on?" Byakuya inquired."

"Yeah. When I came to Hueco Mundo, all of the other guys were there," Chloe clarified.

"Ah," Byakuya frowned more. She didn't' seem to be lying…

"I see I won't get much out of you," he muttered.

"Okay… so what happens to me now?" Chloe asked.

"I suppose you will have to remain in my squad… but you must be near either myself or my vice captain at all times," Byakuya told Chloe.

"Why? Renji's a boy… it'll be awkward," Chloe pointed out.

"You're very dangerous," Byakuya replied. Chloe frowned a little as Renji walked in.

"Abarai, take the girl to that spare room next to your room," Byakuya ordered.

"Yes sir," Renji nodded and Chloe followed him out. Byakuya went back into his office and sank behind a mountain of paper work, thinking.

"Wait- how did she know Renji's name?" he mused aloud.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Spell check hates me. That's all I'll say.

Then again, I make up words. So… I suppose it's my entire fault.


	60. Chapter 60: Where I've been

Bleached Armageddon: A side note!

Inu: I LIVE!

Aizen: You never were dead in the first place…

Inu: True. Anyway… hallo hallo beautiful people! I, Inuyoshie, the authouress of darkness, have returned!

Aja: It's about time! You left us at a cliffhanger!

Inu: Not exactly…

Dakota: You need to get to my part1

Inu: You really want me to? It's nasty…

Ichigo: What about me? I'm the main character in Bleach and I'm only mentioned in Bleach Armageddon!

Inu: You're a protagonist. That's why.

Nicole: And you suck balls!

Ichigo: WHAT! I do NOT-

Inu: Anyways…

Gin: Where were ya anyways?

Aizen: It better have been good to justify not typing OR writing…

Inu: Hey! I wrote some! By the way, thank you to all who reviewed in my absence. And favourited and put me on story alert and stuff like that…

Aja: Indeed.

Nicole: Indeed indeed.

Inu: Whatever. Anyways, I have been in Michigan, and in Indiana and Illinois, and Kentucky and Missouri and Kansas, not in that order. I spent waay too long in a car. It drove me insane.

Grimmjow: Short trip…

Inu: Damn straight! Anyway… I did stuff. And I drank a lot of tea.

Aizen: Tea? *tries the tea and spits it out immediately* this is not tea! This is a disgrace to all tea? Whoever made this will die…

Inu: Yeah… it was Brisk Raspberry tea, the stuff that came in cans. Not real tea…

Chloe: I'm on a boat!

Inu: Yes, I was on a boat too.

Aja: Aaah! Not again!

Maddie: So what did you do?

Inu: Eh, visited. Talked to people I don't know. Saw the St. Louis arch stuff. And my uncle has a Wii so I played that…

Gin: Yer playin' video games? Now the world's really comin' ta an end.

Inu: Yeah, yeah... well enough about me… time for some B.A. related stuff!

Dakota: Ooooh! Ooooh! Me first!

Inu: Yes…?

Dakota: I get to have my lemon first!

Inu: Actually it looks like Nikky's will be written before yours… and that won't happen until I am safely at home…

Dakota: Awww…

Nicole: Great…

Grimmjow: What the hell are you thinking? She's gonna hack my balls off!

Inu: Wouldn't you be glad to-

Maddie: ANYWAY my part is next.

Inu: But it's boring.

Gin: Why is she with that li'l Toshiro? Ya did that jus' ta piss me off!

Inu: Damn straight.

Aja: You don't give me much of a part either…

Inu: Yes, but you get your big glory at the end, when Psycho bear's true purpose comes out!

Maddie: Yup. Psychobear…

Inu: I actually own a Psychobear my aunt and uncle gave it to my little sister when she was little and I named it 'Itachi'… eventually it was named Psychobear. There's where the inspiration.

Chloe: Good times… good times…

Inu: Oh, and people get drunk.

Maddie: Not me.

Inu: Yes you…

Maddie: What? That's illegal!

Aja: You got Maddie drunk? Now that I gotta see.

Gin: Yeah, me too!

Aja: Pervert.

Aizen: Ahem

Inu: What?

Aizen: I just felt it necessary.

Inu: Yeah... crazy person

Aizen: *twitch*

Inu: Anyways… so that's how things have been going with me. Anyone else have something to say?

Szayel: Science.

Inu: Yeah… so I will now take my leave and type up the next chapter. And listen to the Sweeny Todd sound track…


	61. Chapter 61: Dame Informacion

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 61: Dame Información

Omniciente

"What is your name?" Toshiro demanded of Maddie, who followed him silently.

"Maddie," she replied, her voice very quiet. Inside she was seething that she was separated from Sophie. Nothing against Nicole, but Maddie preferred to take care of Sophie personally. She didn't even like gin or Tousen taking her (Sophie). Talk about big sister complex.

"What do you know of Aizen's plans?" Toshiro asked curtly.

"Little to nothing," Maddie replied. Toshiro stopped, turned around and glared up at Maddie with annoyed blue-green eyes.

"You have to know something," he stated.

"No. I stayed out of Aizen-s…an's way," Maddie replied, lessening the honourific as not to piss Toshiro off even more. For such a short person, he looked awfully scary.

"Then why did Ayamaru bring you all?" Toshiro demanded. Maddie frowned. She had an idea as to why… but telling a captain that Dakota and Nicole were in intimate relationships with Espada would be dangerous.

"No clue. We didn't even know they worked for you," Maddie shrugged.

"Of course they worked for us, they are Shinigami," Toshiro muttered, walking into his office where Matsumoto Rangiku stood , her face serious.

"What's the- oh. Who's that? And why is there a human dressed as an arrancar?" she asked.

"Because he wouldn't let us wear our normal clothes," Maddie replied, unable to resist the urge to be a smartass just for once.

"Aizen?" Toshiro asked.

"Yes. He's a conformist," Maddie informed him.

"So why don't you know his plans?" Toshiro demanded.

"Because Aizen-san is very difficult to psychologically analyze, and he doesn't even tell his subordinants his plans," Maddie replied.

"Yes, but weren't you close to him?" RAngiku asked.

"No. Only one of us was actually directly under Aizen-san's watch, and she was too busy pissing him off to learn of his plans," Maddie informed them.

"So each of you were under someone's watch," Toshiro asked.

"Yes," Maddie replied, shifting about nervously.

"Who were you under?" Rangiku asked. Maddie steeled herself internally and closed her eyes.

"Ichimaru-san," she answered. Both captain and vice-captain blinked surprised.

"You know nothing," Toshiro sighed, looking annoyed.

"Yes. I spent most of my time in my room with Sophie," Maddie asked.

"Who's Sophie? Your daughter?" Rangiku asked lightly. Maddie's right eye twitched.

"Sister. SI-STER! Younger! I'd have to have been pregnant at age 10 for God's sake," she ranted.

"…" Rangiku stared at the irritated girl in awe. She was like Toshiro when you call him 'kid'…

Maddie then frowned and bowed.

"I'm so sorry that was rude of me I had no right to yell at you please forgive me,"

"It's okay," Rangiku grinned. If information couldn't be had, at least she'd be a good laugh.

"Why did our spies think you were dangerous again," Toshiro muttered under his breath.

"I'm not," Maddie sighed, sounding sad. "My abilities are useless,"

"Powers?" Toshiro asked suddenly interested.

"Chloe controls fire, Nikky reads minds… things like that," Maddie stopped, frowning. "I've said too much,"

"No no this is fine," Rangiku told Maddie, flapping a dismissive hand at her. Maddie shifted around nervously.

"May I sit? I've been on my feet all day," she asked. Toshiro nodded curtly, and Maddie sat down on a couch, looking down into her lap. "I hope the others are okay,"

Toshiro frowned deeply and sat on his desk. (Have you noticed that captains frown a lot? It must come with the job… not a single one smiled much, except for Ichimaru….) It was hard to thourally interrogate someone who was so… openly emotional. This girl kept her heart on her sleev, a dangerous thing to do in enemy territory.

"Captain, what are we going to do with her?" Rangiku asked.

"Do you have room to bunk her in your room?" Toshiro asked.

"Yeah, I can set up an extra futon," Rangiku nodded.

"Then do so. I need to do paperwork," Toshiro ordered.

"Okay kid, follow me," Rangiku said cheerily to Maddie. Maddie nodded and followed, remaining silent. RAngiku found the silence unbearable.

"So what's your name…?"

OIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIIOIIO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Okay, so that chapter was boring. Sorry about that…


	62. Chapter 62: Espia

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 62: Espía

Omniciente

In order to understand upcoming events, it is necessary to take a trip back in time. Not too long back, of course for there is only so much an omniscient entity can do, but back enough… in fact, a week ago.

The setting is within Aizen's personal library. The room was fairly large with smooth white walls lined with volumes thick and thin. In the middle Aizen reclined on his favourite white chair with an ancient text balanced in his hands carefully. There was a timid knock at the door. Aizen glanced up from his book.

"Marutobo, enter," he announced. The man stepped in, and closed the door behind him.

"My lord," he said softly, bowing in a manner similar to Ulquiorra. The two of them always acted similarly.

"Is there something you require?" Aizen asked primly.

"… I overheard the others talking," Marutobo began. "They all intend to double-cross you,"

Aizen sighed and closed his book. He set it gently on a nearby table and walked over by Marutobo with ease and grace.

"Ah Marutobo, your concern is touching, but I already knew of this," Aizen explained. Of course he did. Marutobo looked a little relieved and nodded.

"What are your orders my lord?" he asked.

"Wait and listen," Aizen replied. "All will be resolved in the end…"

"You aren't concerned? They know an awful lot," Marutobo pointed out.

"Of course not. There is nothing the Soul Society can do stop my plan anyways… so a few spies will just make my victory all the sweeter," Aizen smiled enigmatically. Marutobo nodded and backed out of the room. Aizen was correct. There was nothing to worry about. Nothing indeed…

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Ooooh… the plot thickens! This bit of information will come in handy… hehehehhhh…


	63. Chapter 63: Yo Se mas que usted

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach. This honor goes to Tite Kubo.

Chapter 63: Yo Sé Mas Que Usted (With a special cameo by L later on!)

Omniciente

Mayuri was pissed. Why was Mayuri pissed? Because he had to drag some girl (who was apparently autistic) by the hair all the way to his lab. The other boy, temporarily forgotten, followed silently. As soon as they reached the lab, Mayuri shoved Aja into the arms of a silent black haired girl who lacked pants. (She does! How many other Shinigami wear short skirts? It really makes you wonder what kind of a father Mayuri is)

"Put her on an examination table," Mayuri snapped. Nemu Kurotsuchi nodded and hefted Aja onto one.

Now at this point, it's prudent to let you all know that Aja's autistic moment has passed. She was acting, which is a pastime that Aja enjoys a lot. In fact, she used to pretend to be someone different around Aizen all the time, but he always saw through her act. (However, the Soul Society isn't exactly as cunning as Aizen is.) But… it was hard to keep the act up while being dragged around by a highly attractive Shinigami. Luckily, our protagonist pulled though and kept the autistic act up.

Meanwhile, Dakota was watching Mayuri intently. Mayuri was prepping several syringes full of something probably unpleasant, muttering about how he's surrounded by daft fools. Szayel does that often, only he uses longer words that are in different, dead languages.

Aja was strapped to a table and Mayuri hovered over her, a syringe in his pale fingers.

"So then… I want information," Mayuri told Aja. Aja stared back at him blankly. "Tell me EVERYTHING!" Mayuri roared. Aja remained silent. "Why isn't she saying anything?"

"It was mentioned earlier that Aja is autistic," Dakota spoke up, growing irritated at Mayuri. Compared to Szayel, he seemed like a child. "Dumbass,"

Mayuri whirled around, livid like a cat with its tail stepped on.

"SILENCE!" he roared. "Who ware you anyway? What squad are you in?"

"I'm not in a squad. I'm from Hueco Mundo," Dakota replied coolly. "And you call yourself a man of science,"

There was a long silence. It took all of Aja's self control to keep from bursting out in laughter. Mayuri glared at Dakota.

"I will remember this," he growled, turning to Aja. "Now-"

"She's autistic," Dakota interrupted.

"I KNOW THAT!" Mayuri growled.

"Then why do you keep asking her questions?" Dakota wanted to know. "She won't be able to reply,"

"Austics can talk you daft fool, she just doesn't' like to. Don't act like you know more than me," Mayuri snapped.

"… Daft means fool… two negatives make a positive… he's no fool," Aja mumbled. Before Mayuri could reply, Marutobo stepped in.

"Excuse me," he said softly. "Yamamoto-taichou has requested me to remind you that you are not permitted to kill either of your charges,"

Mayuri muttered something under his breath and stormed out. Marutobo looked sympathetically at Aja and Dakota.

"How are you two?" he asked, his voice still soft. Marutobo rarely speaks.

"… Alright…?" Dakota asked confused.

"Good. I'll pray to God for your salvation," Marutobo told them before leaving. Dakota looked quizzically at Aja, who was smiling. She knew. They weren't stranded after all.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Alright, sorry about the L thing. That was cruel…

This gets me into the mood for all of the chapters involving Mayuri. That man is one cruel, twisted fuck. Yeah, sorry Mayuri fans. I don't like him, like I don't like Mayuri. Rawr.

Oops, I meant Nnoitera.

Anyway… will Marutobo be able to ask Aizen for help? Will Aizen help? Will the Soul Society find out first? Will Dakota and Aja survive Mayuri? Will Marutobo? Find out next chapter!

And please review. Your reviews make me happy!


	64. Chapter 64: Van a Morir

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 64: Van a Morir

Omniciente

"Aah!"

Strangled screams pierced through the air from one of the darker labs in the 12th division.

"I swear, we never knew yeah," Ayamaru told Nemu nervously. "He was always quiet,"

Inside the room, Marutobo, 8th seat of the 12th squad lay strapped to a dissection table, covered in blood. His own captain hovered over him in a bloody lab coat. Most of the other captains were also there, as was Aja. Aja sat in a corner, next to Soi Fon, playing with blocks. Some blocks were coloured, some were white. With the white blocks, Aja built a scale model of Las Noches. With the coloured blocks, she made a scale model of the Seretei.

"Tell us Aizen's plans-"

"You're all going to die," Aja announced in a sad monotonous voice as she used her telekinesis to crush the Seretei model and made the pieces join the Las Noches model. Mayuri spun around, his patience at the limit. He stomped over, grabbed Aja by the hair, pulled her over and showed her the bloody Marutobo.

"Do you see this? This is what we do to our enemies!" Mayuri hissed.

"… Aizen-sama's right… you all are evil," Aja replied, a strange feeling in her stomach. Tears pricked her eyes as Marutobo moaned in pain and blood dribbled out of his mouth. Without even thinking, Aja grabbed Mayuri's scalpel and stabbed Marutobo through the eye, effectively killing him.

"You BRAT!" Mayuri roared, grabbing Aja's wrist. Aja freaked, screamed, kicked, stabbed Mayuri in the stomach a few times and even held the scalpel right between his eyes with a dangerous look in her eyes.

"I could kill you," Aja whispered. She then let the scalpel drop and curled into a ball in the corner with the blocks. The other captains looked shocked. Mayuri was even more shocked.

"I'm sick of dealing with her!' he growled at Yamamoto. "She only talks to my vice-captain and wrecks my experiments!"

"You're ugly, Nemu's pretty," Aja mumbled, so that only the person next to her (Soi Fon) could hear. "I don't like boys,"

"I'll reassign her," Yamamoto frowned as the captains all filed out of the room. There was a sour tone left after Aja's words.

"_Aizen_ was _right_… you all are _evil_…"

"Aizen was right… you all are evil…"

"Aizen's the evil one, that girl is just confused," Yamamoto said to the empty room. He sounded like he was more trying to convince himself than anyone else…

OHNOES! OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOES!OHNOESOHNOES!OHNOES!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay… so yeah. Gory and bloody stuff there. Things got nasty, and now poor Marutobo is dead. I apologize to all of you who liked him.

Next chapter is funny, so don't worry! Please review!


	65. Chapter 65: Pianista

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 65: Pianista

Omniciente

Chloe meandered around the squad six barracks boredly. She had been stuck in her room for the past few days and couldn't take the boredom anymore. IN fact, she had been in a coma-like state for the past few days. Finally, she arose due to hunger and began wandering. She found Byakuya's office, where there was a tray of uneaten onigri. She also found a flask of Renji's sake, which was mostly empty. Both were consumed and Chloe moved on. When wandering, she found a nice open room with a large black piano in it. Chloe frowned, remembering Ulquiorra and his masterful performance, and walked over to the piano. She removed the cover and began playing. She didn't even remember the name of the piece, she just… played it. Our fiery protagonist was so caught up in her playing that she didn't notice Byakuya enter the room.

Byakuya was originally irritated that someone was playing his piano, but now he was slightly impressed with Chloe's playing. Unfortunately, she faltered. Byakuya frowned, annoyed that the song was interrupted and decided to do something about it. He came up behind her, and placed his hands over Chloe's correcting her mistake in playing. Chloe was shocked, but let her hands be led. Once she got the jist of it, Byakuya began playing harmony, moving his hand swiftly, but still gently, playing off of Chloe's part. The music was gorgeous. Renji stuck his head in and watched his captain and the captive he was supposed to be watching play in wonder.

Unfortunately the song ended. Both parts played the same last note, so Byakuya's hand ended up on top of Chloe's.

"You need practice," Byakuya told Chloe.

"Sorry, I haven't practiced in awhile," Chloe replied.

"I see," Byakuya frowned, lifting his hand up off of Chloe's. "Do you require lessons?"

Chloe blinked, surprised. This seemed odd.

"Um... sure," Chloe replied slowly. "Why are you-"

"I expect you in this room in two hours. Also, I would appreciate it if you did not steal my food," Byakuya cut off Chloe's question." IF you require food, ask Abarai," Chloe nodded, and Byakuya stood. He gracefully swooshed out of the room, leaving Chloe and Renji alone. Chloe turned her back and stared at the piano.

"What does he do for two hours?" she wondered aloud.

"Paperwork. Kuchki-taichou has lots of paperwork," Renji replied walking over by Chloe curiously. "You're odd,"

"Thank you," Chloe replied, placing the key cover over the keyboard.

"I mean, you do nothing for the first few days, and then you're running around stealing onigri and sake and randomly playing the piano! What kind of human are you?" Renji demanded.

"The Chloe kind. Do you have any food?" Chloe asked. Renji frowned, his artistic tattoos furrowing as eyebrows would.

"Yeah. Follow me," he grunted. Chloe brightly followed Renji, smiling chipperly and humming the song she was playing earlier. Renji lead Chloe into a small, kitchen-like room.

" Here. Don't touch my sake and don't touch Kuchki-taichou's tako," Renji told Chloe. Chloe frowned, and opened up the fridge. Yes, the tako looked heavenly, but Chloe grabbed a different box of sushi. There was some tako in it, but Chloe didn't care. Sushi was good. And this box was really good quality, because it came with pickled ginger delicately arranged in flowers and some wasabi. So yes… Chloe ate sushi and drank tea. The tea wasn't as good s Aizen's though… this tea lacked flavour. Tea requires flavour. No wonder Aizen left the Soul Society. Chloe frowned even more (making her face look oddly like Byakuya's, Ulquiorra's or Toshiro's, you take your pick). Shed' rather have Renji's sake, but he was actually standing there, watching her. Chloe looked at Renji suspiciously, grabbed the tako and ran.

"HEY!" Renji yelled, chasing after Chloe. Chloe ignored him and raced down a hall. When she thought she had lost him, Chloe ducked into a random closet, savouring her tako.

"… So good…" she moaned happily, shuffling about to make herself more comfortable.

Meanwhile, Byakuya walked past a random closet and heard Chloe's voice moaning something about 'Sooo good' and shuffling. Byakuya felt heat rise in his cheeks (which angered him. KUCHKIS DON'T BLUSH!) and opened the closet. Chloe (who had been leaning on the door) fell out with a flop and landed on her back. Her hair was all messy and a piece of tako was in her mouth.

"Hi," Chloe greeted the annoyed captain.

"Is that my tako?" Byakuya demanded. Chloe swallowed the piece and smiled.

"Maaaybe…" she replied.]

"You shouldn't do that in a closet," Byakuya told Chloe sternly.

"Would you rather me do it in front of you?" Chloe asked sweetly. Renji just then turned a corner, his face now as red as his hair.

"W-what were you doing?" he demanded.

"Eating tako," Chloe replied.]

"MY tako," Byakuya added. Chloe shrugged.

"I was hungry, it looked good," she told the noble casually. She then handed the empty tako container to Renji and strolled off.

"Where are you going?" Byakuya demanded.

"I'm exploring," Chloe replied, opening a random door (which happened to lead to the boy's bath). "Oops, wrong door,"

"She'll get killed, you'd better follow her," Byakuya told Renji, who nodded and cringed. "Make sure you're back in two hours,"

Byakuya walked off, leaving Renji speculating: was his cold, stoic captain actually looking forward to spending time with the prisoner, teaching her how to play the piano? Renji heard a crash and a bang and then sighed. This was going to be a long two hours.

TAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKOTAKO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

That seemed longer on paper than it actually was. That makes me a little sad, and a little happy.

I apologize if I made the stoic Byakuya out of character. Rawr.

Next chapter: Yumichika in a frilly dress. Please review!


	66. Chapter 66: Reirse de alguien

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 66: Reírse de Alguien

Omniciente

Nicole was sleeping peacefully. This was remarkable, since the squad eleven beds aren't comfortable. Then again, if you go from sunrise to sunset getting your ass kicked a bed of glass would be comfortable.

Sadly, Nicole's peace would soon be broken. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the grinning face of Hichigo Shirosaki, the soon to be dead inner hollow of Ichigo.

"Mornin' Queen-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Nicole screamed, slapping Hichigo. Hichigo staggered back, clutching his cheek.

"Oww! Yer such a violent person!" Hichigo whined.

"You creeper! I can't believe you'd do something like that!" Nicole exclaimed. (A/N: I can…)

"Aw come on, it ain' like I saw ya naked," Hichigo drawled lazily. (He actually caught her undressing once, but chose to savour the memory instead of mention it)

"It's close enough!" Nicole screeched, indicating her state of undress (she was wearing underwear though…) angrily. "Get out!"

Hichigo slinked out of the room, rubbing his cheek.

"Damn, this is hard," Hichigo muttered.

"That's what she said!" Sophie chirped up. Hichigo gave the five year old a strange look.

"What the hell are they teachin' you?" he wondered aloud. Nicole stomped out of her room, wearing what she usually wore in Hueco Mundo (wide pants, tube top, gloves) only black. Nicole still had her sword… but it wasn't her sword, just some sword she was borrowing. It didn't feel right in her hands. Then again, when it came to chasing away creeper hollow boy, anything sharp and pointy worked.

"Yer lookin' good my Queen," Hichigo purred into Nicole's ear, suddenly behind her.

"Ah! Creeper!" Nicole yelled, her face reddening. She tried to slap Hichigo but he caught her hand and smirked widely.

"Ya think I'll fall fer that again?" Hichigo asked, wagging his free finger disapprovingly.

"Nikky! Nikki!" Sophie cried. "Kick 'Cary White Boy's butt!" Hichigo glared at Sophie and Sophie glared back at him. Nicole wiggled out of Hichigo's grasp, and the hollow narrowed his eyes.

"Stupid little-"

"Hey! Hollow boy! If you hurt Sophie, I'm feeding you to her sister," Nicole warned Hichigo. Hichigo frowned. Maddie came by to visit her sister and became very angry when she saw one of the shinigami messing with Sophie.

Nicole grabbed Sophie and led her off to play with Yachiru. The vice captain was waiting for her charge, with a tea set and half of the eleventh squad's seated members dressed in frilly dresses, all sitting around a table.

"Let's have some tea!" Yachiru announced.

"Yaay! 'Cary Throne Man yikes tea," Sophie announced.

"Huh?" Yumichika (who looked dazzling in his drag) asked.

"Aizen," Nicole translated. "And he likes tea,"

Indeed he does.

So, on that note, the tea party commenced. Tea (flavourless, I should add) was served, as were various other cakes and pastries. They all had fun! Well… that is, except Hichigo, who watched them all like a creeper, plotting.

TEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEA

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom, death, destruction, mad science and tea.

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Yes, Yumichika would look absolutely fabulous in a frilly dress. Maybe in a nice shade of mauve, or lilac. With a man purse.

… Okay, scratch the man purse. That would just be weird.

Anyways, please review


	67. Chapter 67: Vamos de compras

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 67: Vamos de Compras!

Omniciente

Meanwhile, Maddie was locked in Rangiku's room, with said vice captain pacing in front of her bed.

"Don't you do anything interesting?" she demanded.

"I write," Maddie suggested.

"That's so boring though!" Rangiku whined.

"No it's not. Reality sucks. I just edit it," Maddie shrugged.

"Do you like shopping?" Rangiku asked suddenly.

"Uh… a little," Maddie admitted.

"Great! Let's go!" Rangiku announced cheerfully, grabbing Maddie's hand and dragging her out of her room.

"Uh, shouldn't you be at work?" Maddie asked timidly.

"Work? Hah!" Rangiku snorted. Maddie sighed and let herself be dragged off by the exceedingly buxom woman. Work? Silly question.

Elsewhere, Toshiro was getting frustrated. Rangiku was late. Knowing his vice captain, she was probably off drinking, leaving a potentially dangerous (A/N: Maddie? Hah!) human alone. OR worse, she took the girl with her. Toshiro cringed at the image of a drunken Maddie. Then, the captain happened to glance outside in time to see Rangiku drag Maddie off. Most likely to go shopping, Toshiro thought to himself. Perhaps Maddie will loosen up and spill more information if she's around Rangiku shopping… I mean, women get really loquacious when shopping, right? Yes… Toshiro jumped out of the window like a ninja (but he's not one…) and began to stalk his vice captain and her prisoner.

-Meanwhile-

"Oh Lord have mercy upon my soul!" Maddie moaned as Rangiku dragged her into a store. "You're not taking me into another one, are you?"

"Come on, we've only been to four!" Rangiku chided, showing Maddie a string bikini. "This would look cute on you!"

"But it's just a bunch of strings," Maddie complained. (Outside, Toshiro got an image of Maddie dressed in only a bunch of strings and got a nosebleed.)

"Alright, try this on," Rangiku advised.

"Yes, but it's yellow! I don't look good in yellow!" Maddie replied, shoving the top back into Rangiku's arms. "Can't it be black?"

"That's such a depressing colour! Wear some… natural colours, like greens and browns. They'd match your hair and eyes," Rangiku suggested.

This went on for another few hours. Toshiro almost fell asleep. But then… they left and stopped at a tea shop. She would've gone to a bar, but it was before noon and Rangiku got the feeling Maddie wouldn't be inclined to drink.

"So… what's it like in Hueco Mundo?" she asked casually over a cup of tea and some little cake things.

"White," Maddie replied honestly. "And sandy,"

"Oh," Rangiku nodded. They both drank some tea. "Do you miss it?"

"Yeah," Maddie replied readily. Rangiku looked at her in shock.

"But there's no colour! And the place is full of monsters," she exclaimed. "How can you miss a place like that?" Maddie frowned.

"They're not," she said quietly.

"They are all hollows. They are born from hate! That's all-"

"Hollows have all of the emotions humans do, as Shinigami do. Including hate, including love, including compassion. I've seen it," Maddie told Rangiku firmly. "And besides… would you call Aizen-san a monster?"

"Yes," Rangiku answered readily.

"Why?" Maddie asked calmly.'

"Look what he did! He betrayed his own! He stabbed Hinamori through the heart!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"But he's not a hollow," Maddie pointed out.

"So? I never said that all monsters are hollows," Rangiku replied. "What are you getting at?"

"If it's possible for someone who isn't classified physically as a monster to be a monster, then wouldn't it b e possible for someone who is classified physically as a monster to not be a monster?" Maddie asked.

"Huh?" Rangiku asked. "In Japanese please,"

"If a Soul Reaper can be evil, then why can't a hollow be good?" Maddie demanded. "And, what do you define as good and evil?"

"Why does that matter?" Rangiku demanded.

"Because before you start calling people 'good' and 'evil', you should look at that," Maddie finished quietly. Rangiku sighed.

"Obviously, Aizen's brainwashed you," she told Maddie sympathetically. Maddie was about to reply angrily but then bit her lip. Getting into a fight now would be such a shame, considering Maddie wanted to be Rangiku's friend. Even if this meant hiding her own opinion.

"No… I'm just a bleeding heart," Maddie sighed.

"A what?" Rangiku asked.

"A pacifist," Maddie explained.

"Oh. How did you survive?" Rangiku asked, amazed.

"That's one of the reasons we had people to watch us. Not only to keep us away from trouble, but to keep trouble away from us. Ichimaru-san was really good at that," Maddie said softly.

"Oh," Rangiku nodded. She then looked at Maddie sadly. "How did such a nice girl like you get stuck with such horrible people?"

Maddie had no answer.

LIFEISWONDERFULLIFEISWONDERFULLIFEISWONDERFULLIFEISWONDERFULLIFEISWONDERFULLIFEISWONDERFUL

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Lots of heavy ideological stuff in there. Sorry if it was boring, but I gotta give Maddie something to do. And the part with the string bikini I borrowed from another anime. IF you can guess what anime, you get a cookie. Please review!


	68. Chapter 68: Me Gusta el Dolor

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 68 Me gusta el dolor

Omniciente

To answer Rangiku's question as to how a nice person can get stuck with horrible people: life sucks. Our lone male protagonist, Dakota, couldn't agree more.

The only good thing that came out of this was that Dakota got to experience life in the laboratory of a mad scientist who wasn't enamored with him. In fact, Mayuri probably would've left Dakota alone… had Dakota not been such a smartass.

"There's absolutely no order here. How do you find anything?" Dakota remarked, waving to a large cabinet of chemicals.

"I memorize them you daft fool, now get out of my way," Mayuri retorted, throwing Dakota into a wall.

"Ow! That hurt!" Dakota complained.

"Would you like to be in even more pain?" Mayuri demanded, clicking his freakishly long fingernails together. Dakota shrugged, dusting wall off of his shirt.

And so, this continued. After several days, Mayuri got majorly pissed off.

He decided to put Dakota to good use when rummaging though some cabinets of old chemicals. There were many drugs from ages ago… they all were labeled in a scrawling handwriting that had to be Kisuke's.

"Hm…" Mayuri murmured, swishing a phial of clear violet fluid. "I wonder what this does," The scientist then grinned widely and glanced over at Dakota. "There's one way to find out… BOY! GET OVER HERE!"

Dakota reluctantly walked over by Mayuri.

"What?" he asked. Mayuri held up a syringe.

"It's about time you made yourself useful," he replied, grabbing Dakota's arm and sticking him.

"What is that?" Dakota demanded.

"We'll find out," Mayuri retorted.

"In other words, you don't know. What else is new," Dakota muttered. Mayuri glared at him, ripped a piece of paper that says 'Do not use on humans' and threw it away. Dakota rubbed the injection site. At first, he felt nothing. Then there was a slow burning though his veins. Dakota gripped a bench, wincing in pain. Then, the pain began to ebb. A soft, silky feeling washed over Dakota's body and he began to feel quite relaxed. His breathing slowed dramatically and his eye lids fluttered shut. Dakota slid down to the floor and just lay there, savouring the glorious feeling of dismemberment from his body, his troubles, and his pain. He was at peace.

Several hours later, Dakota woke up on an examination table. He was having problems breathing and his chest felt painfully tight. Dakota tried to sit up. Pins and needles erupted across his skin. HE was in immense pain, enough to make him cry out. Dakota a spotted the syringe half full of the purple liquid, grabbed it, and stabbed it into himself. He wanted to have that nice silky feeling back… Mayuri stormed in, saw Dakota shooting up and slapped Dakota across the face.

An odd thing happened: it felt good. Dakota rubbed his face, a weird giddiness flowing though his veins. Mayuri slapped him again, and Dakota fell to the ground, his eyes lidded and a sickly sweet smile on his face. HE giggled a little.

"Heheh… that felt… niiiice…." Dakota slurred. Mayuri looked down at the syringe, and then at Dakota a grin growing on his face.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

And now you all know why I keep on saying 'I feel bad for Dakota'. He's a druggie!

What will happen to poor Dakota? Will he be a druggie for the rest of his life? Will he get beaten to death by Mayuri, who is a psycho? And what about Szayel? And what happens when you get Chloe drunk?

All this and more in the next chapters of Bleached Armageddon! Please review!


	69. Chapter 69: Vamos a beber!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 69: Vamos a beber!

Omniciente

"It's drinking night tonight! Who's coming?" Rangiku demanded.

"Kira and I," Renji answered.

"Wait-what?" Kira stammered, looking confused.

"Shouldn't you be doing your duties?" Nanao demanded. (A/N: doooties… xD)

"What duties?" Rangiku asked innocently. Nanao frowned and rubbed her temples.

"Like watching the prisoners!" she retorted.

"Eh, we'll just take them with," Renji shrugged. "Chloe keeps on drinking my sake anyway,"

"I don't know about Maddie… but getting her drunk sounds like fun!" Rangiku grinned. She then noticed Kira had a slight blush on his face and grinned. "Don't worry… we can hook you two up while we're there too,"

"But she's enemy-"

"Hey, can we invite that autistic girl?" Rangiku asked Momo, who sat kinda by herself.

"She's autistic. Do you really want to give her alcohol?" the girl replied.

"Ah. And the other girl?" Renji asked Yachiru.

"Ah, Kenny will bring her along," Yachiru answered cheerily.

"You all," Nanao sighed, cleaning her glasses.

"What about that cute boy?" Rangiku asked. Everyone turned to Nemu.

"Kurotsuchi-taichou is… conducting some research. He can't go," Nemu answered.

"And besides… I heard from Aja-chan that Dakota-san is… uh… doesn't swing that way," Momo pointed out.

"Oh," Rangiku sighed. "Damn,"

"But… didn't she not talk?" Isane asked Momo.

"She talks…" Momo turned a little pink. "…to me. Not to many other people though," Nemu gave a knowing nod.

"So… 6:00 tonight?" Renji asked.

"Hell yes," Rangiku grinned. Nanao stomped out of the vice-captain meeting frustrated.

BEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOODBEERISGOOD… AND STUFF

"Yeah! We're going barhopping!" Chloe exclaimed loudly. Byakuya stuck his head out of his office.

"What?" he demanded primly.

"We. Are. Going. Barhopping," Chloe repeated herself for the noble. "We go places. We get drunk. We have fun,"

"I'd hardly call 'getting drunk' fun," Byakuya pointed out. "I'll assume Abarai is taking you,"

"Yup! We'll probably be back around two," Chloe told Byakuya casually, brushing through her hair quickly.

"Hn," Byakuya muttered, going back to his room.

APPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLESAPPLES

"But-"

"Wear this!" Rangiku ordered Maddie, shoving a halter top and a swishy skirt into Maddie's hands. The girl sighed in defeat and put the clothing on.

"Why am I wearing this?" she demanded.

"You're meeting a boy," Rangiku answered.

"WHAT!" Maddie squeaked. "I can't meet a guy!"

"Why not?" Rangiku asked. "Wait- are you lesbian?"

"N-no, I just… I'm all nerdy and I'm not pretty-"

Rangiku dragged her off irritated.

BANNANASBANNANASBANNANASBANNANASBANNANASBANNANASBANNANASBANNANASBANNANAS

"Nicole!"

Nicole stopped sparring and glanced at Kenpachi.

"What?" she demanded.

"We're going drinking. Come on," Kenpachi ordered her.

"Why?" Nicole asked. Ikkaku came up from behind her.

"The real question is 'Why not'?" he corrected her. Hichigo stuck his head out of a random room.

"I'm coming too!" he announced in his creepy multi-layered voice.

"Let's all go drinking!" Ikkaku roared.

"Well, quit talking about it and let's go!" Kenpachi ordered his men.

"Sir yes sir!"

PEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHESPEACHES

Momo walked back into her office tiredly. Aja sat in a chair reading. She looked up at Momo and gave her a smile.

"Drinking?" she asked Momo quietly. Momo blinked, remembered Aja's premonitions and nodded. "Bring me back some,"

"Okay. I'll go tell them," Momo turned to leave, but Aja got up and tugged on Momo's sleeve. Momo turned and looked at Aja's solemn grey eyes in confusion.

"Don't go," Aja said, hugging Momo's arm. Momo hugged Aja back with a soft sigh.

For the first time since Aizen left, Momo felt good.

CHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIESCHERRIES

"Kurotsuchi-taichou-"

"Go away," Mayuri snapped at Nemu, accidentally slicing across Dakota's hand. The boy moaned in response and giggled. Nemu stepped out of the room, closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry…" she murmured.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, that was originally two chapters, but I smerged them together. Why? Because I can. Deal with it.

Yes, so everybody's going off drinking. Except Aja and Dakota.

Dakota: I don't like beer anyway. So there.

Me: Yeah… anyway. Please review!


	70. Chapter 70: Una Mano Negra

Bleached Armageddon

Chapter 70: Una Mano Negra

Omniciente

At 6:00, Rangiku and Maddie stood outside the Seretei gates.

"Its' six…" Maddie muttered, tapping her foot impatiently. She had a little twitch about timeliness.

"Ah, I see Renji," Rangiku announced as Renji and Chloe came out. Kira was following them.

"We saw Zaraki coming- he just had to wait for Nicole," Renji reported.

"Okay," Rangiku grinned. "This will be so much fun!"

"Yeah, and apparently Momo's person wants us to save her some," Renji added.

"Okay," Rangiku nodded. Zaraki, Ikkaku, Yumichika and Nicole joined out with the group.

"Alright men, to the Bloody Dagger!" Kenpachi announced. Everybody gave out a cheer and followed. Let the drinking begin…

BEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEER

Byakuya sat in his office, toying idly with an ink pot. It was 6:15. Chloe and Renji were probably already out drinking.

From his sources, Byakuya had confirmed that Kenpachi was going with them. This meant they'd probably be drinking in the poorer part of town. Byakuya frowned, looking out his window at the cloudless night sky. Who knows what could be out there…

"Abarai can handle himself. HE's the second strongest man in my squad," Byakuya said aloud. It didn't stop his worry though. He hadn't been this worried since Hisana-

The ink pot clattered to the floor. Byakuya frowned more, staring at his ink covered hand. This new girl… attracted him, in a bizarre fashion with her antics, but in a way that was frighteningly fascinating. Watching her was like watching flames envelop your house- it's beautiful, but you know it's dangerous at the same time.

"Hisana…" Byakuya muttered, swirling the ink around his fingertips absentmindedly. "Am I betraying you?" His deceased wife gave no reply. Byakuya rushed to a nearby sink to wash off his hand.

There was still a stain.

EMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom

Okay, so now things are really gonna heat up… in a weird, emo prick way. What will Byakuya do? How will Ulquiorra feel? And what's been going on in Hueco Mundo all this time?

Review, and tune in to the next chapter of Bleached Armageddon to find out!


	71. Chapter 71: Y En Hueco Mundo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. So nobody sue me, 'kay? 'Cuz then I'll cry.

Chapter 71: Y En Hueco Mundo…

Omniciente

In Las Noches, all was silent.

Grimmjow paced in his room, pissed off. She was gone. HIS woman was gone.

Her stuff was still there. Her clothes, her loved katana… all still there. Hell, even her scent lingered. It just pissed him off.

Grimmjow wasn't stupid enough to ask Aizen if he could go get her. He also wasn't stupid enough just to go on his own either. Aja told him about his arm… and Aizen was in a foul mood lately.

Indeed, Aizen was in a foul mood. HE didn't even really have a justification, he was just… annoyed. Not pissed. Not angry. Just… annoyed. He killed several stupid arrancar, and threatened to kill Menoly and Lola. The halls were just too quiet, especially at 2:00 in the morning, when strains of classical music should be filling the air from Aja's room.

Gin wasn't really angry, per say. HE was bored. He had no one to mess with, no one to bather. Drawing on Tousen's visor didn't bring the same joy it used to.

The only thing that worried Gin in regards to Maddie was his knowledge of how the Soul Society works. When they get an enemy among them, they interrogate the enemy until she snaps, spills, or dies. How much interrogation could the overly emotional Maddie really take? Not much…

Szayel wasn't worried about Dakota's well being. He was a strong boy. But Szayel still was irritated that he was gone. It is really hard to research a subject when he is in another world, out of your reach, you know.

Slowly, Szayel's labs fell into disarray, because he used his fracción to clean them. Bad move…

Soon, arrancar found that disturbing Szayel immediately led to their demise on a dissection table.

Ulquiorra played his piano often. The soothing music put him at ease. Other than that, he didn't show any changes in behavior. He felt them though. Inside, he was filled with turmoil, with confusion.

No one made a move to bring them back. To do so would prove that these mere humans had an effect on them. Arrogant men.

But things were changing. Hearts were yearning. Lies were becoming unraveled.

A storm was brewing.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom.

So yeah… these past few chapters are a little emo. But the next ones will be funny as hell, no worries.

By the way, on a lighter note, I bleached my hair and coloured it some recently. I now have streaks of blonde and red in my hair… and they look wicked cool. My mom did it with me, so she had streaks of turquoise in her hair. I did too, but the turquoise washed out in two days T.T.

Please review!


	72. Chapter 72: Aspirina

Time for another wonderfully shiny chapter of Bleached Armageddon Peeps!

By Inuyoshie, the authouress of darkness, who by the way, does NOT own Bleach.

Chapter 72: Aspirina

Omniciente

"Heheh… and then he… heh… gave me… piano lessons…!" Chloe slurred, taking another shot of sake.

"Uh dude, I think you've had enough-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rangiku, Chloe, Renji and Ikkaku cut Maddie (who hadn't touched any alcohol) off.

They weren't at the Bloody Dagger anymore. They got thrown out because Ikkaku started a brawl. In this bar, the bartender was looking nervously at Chloe, because she was drinking him out of house and home.

"Come on Maddie… just a little…" Rangiku slurred, shoving a cup under Maddie's nose. Maddie frowned, took it, drank it, and made a face.

Nicole was already drunk. She was laughing along with Chloe.

"Byakuya! He has a stick shoved so far up his ass all he tastes is splinters," she giggled.

"That's mean!" Chloe whined.

"Aww… Chloe's got a cruuuush!" Rangiku teased Renji frowned.

"And the worst thing is *hic* you're so pretty *hic* and he wouldn't even realize it!" he exclaimed.

"Aawhheheh, are you jealous?" Chloe asked teasingly.

"Hoho! Romantic competition!" Rangiku chortled.

"Manfight!" Maddie exclaimed, finally feeling a little tipsy. The whole group roared in laughter.

Kenpachi and Hichigo were in the middle of a drinking contest. It was hard to tell who was winning. Both were on their third bottle of sake.

"How can you drink so much? You're so small," Maddie asked Hichigo.

"That's what she said," Nicole sniggered.

"Whatever. Your face," Maddie retorted.

"Your mom!" Nicole replied.

"Your pants!" Maddie announced.

"Your lacy bra!" Nicole thundered. The tavern was silent.

"Congratulations Nikky, yer epically fail at life," Maddie drawled, drinking more sake.

"That was amazing!" Rangiku laughed.

"Indeed indeed," Maddie replied. Nicole punched Maddie in the arm.

"Alright! Who's up for some 'I Never'!" Renji announced.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Toshiro couldn't find Rangiku, or Maddie. He couldn't feel their spiritual pressure either, so they had to be outside the Seretei. Frantic, he tracked down the one other prisoner who would know where they were, the one he guessed was directly watched by Aizen: Aja.

Momo had already gone to sleep. Aja was still awake, reading quietly. When Toshiro came in, Aja saw him, figured he would give her a headache and popped two aspirin.

Sadly, all Toshiro saw was Aja taking two white pills and assumed that they were poison of some kind.

"Where is my vice-captain?" he demanded, advancing on Aja. Aja just stared at him, waiting for the pills to take effect. "Tell me everything you know!"

Aja pondered her options for five minutes, and then sighed.

"Black means evil, white means good. So you all are evil and Aizen-sama is good," she began in a bored monotone.

"Ach! You're worse than Maddie!" Toshiro growled. "What are Aizen's plans?"

"God is in love with The Smiling Man, but no one's supposed to know. They're S-class criminals you know. Their subordinates are hiding from the ANBU black ops. But The Smiling Man wants God to attack Konoha (where the ANBU black ops are from) with their ultimate weapon of mass destruction in… oh… about a week or so. And then all the ANBU die. The end!" Aja ended cheerfully. Toshiro frowned, and went to get Unohana.

Aja was soon carted off to the 4th squad. She seemed very spacey (due to the aspirin) but as soon as someone got a needle t other, she freaked.

After several minutes of thrashing and sedatives, Aja calmed down. Toshiro glowered at Aja.

"Is what you said true?" he demanded. Aja smiled.

"They're all out drinking,"

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111161111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

By the way, what she was describing was a MadaraXPein she doctored to sound like an AizenXGin. Why? For the hell of it, of course.

So what will the Seretei do? Will Aja live? And what about our drunken protagonists?

Find out in the next thrilling chapter of Bleached Armageddon!


	73. Chapter 73: Vestidos y Ninjas

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I own no Bleach.

Chapter 73: Vestidos y Ninjas

Our drunken protagonists stumbled out of their third bar around 2:30 A.M. As they began to stumble home (lead by a still sober Kenpachi and Hichigo) Chloe wandered off.

There wasn't really any logical reason for it: she just was very drunk. Chloe meandered a little and found a bench to sit on by a pool/water garden. An almost full moon shimmered in the pool's reflective waters, and Chloe stared at it, feeling peaceful.

She didn't notice the two guys coming up behind her. One plopped next to her and swung and arm around her shoulders.

"Hey good lookin'," he purred in Chloe's ear.

"Huh? Oh, hi," Chloe replied, turning around and looking surprised.

"You're looking pretty lonely," the other remarked, leaning over so that he was in Chloe's face. "Let's give you some company,"

"Yeah," the first guy agreed, undoing the zipper in the back of Chloe's pretty black sundress.

"Eh? What-"she was cut off by a hand over her mouth. Chloe's alcohol-laden brain was slowly beginning to comprehend what was happening, but her limbs felt like dead weight.

There was a sudden crack, and one of the guys fell to the ground. Chloe blearily saw a dark figure standing before her.

"What the hell man?" the other guy demanded, yanking at Chloe's dress. Chloe frowned, and ignited her hand, shoving her assailant away. She stood up, and staggered back, attempting to hold up her dress. She felt someone's gentle hands catch her and gently re-adjust her dress so that it was on properly. Chloe clumsily turned around and looked up at the face of Byakuya.

"Eh? You –"

"How much have you had?" he asked Chloe sternly.

"Enough," Chloe replied, feeling dizzy. She passed out, and Byakuya picked her up with a sigh.

"You're worse than Renji, I swear,"

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"She could be lying," Soi Fon told Toshiro at the emergency captains meeting.

"We finally got her to talk though… and she took… something…" he replied, glancing at Unohana.

"She took willow bark pills, commonly known as aspirin. It's possible that the affects of these pills include lessening her autism," Unohana replied.

"Yeah… but attack in a week? That's…"

"It could be a trap," Ukitake pointed out.

"But they've had no communication with Aizen for the week and a half they've been here. How could they coordinate it?" Byakuya pointed out coolly (arriving a little late).

"Zaraki- isn't your girl psychic?" Toshiro demanded.

"Yeah, but she's been too busy fighting my men to receive orders," Kenpachi grunted.

"So…"

Yamamoto banged his big stick thing. (Not like that you perverts…) Everyone stared at him.

"I will send the second squad to investigate in Hueco Mundo," he announced. "Other than that, maintain your previous treatment of our prisoners,"

333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Meanwhile in Hueco Mundo, Aizen sensed someone opening a garganta inside Las Noches. He was in his room at the time, and rushed to his throne room to investigate. Sure enough, there was a large amount of Soul Reapers in there, fighting various Espada. Gin was just standing there, watching it all with his creepy smile.

"Everyone SILENCE!" Aizen boomed in a way that was much more effective than Yamamoto's stick thing of doom. Everyone shut up and froze. Aizen noticed that the Shinigami were all from the 2nd squad with mild interest. "What are you all doing here?"

"Stopping you, traitor," Soi Fon snapped.

"Yes, obviously, but why now?" Aizen asked.

"Because you're attacking us in a week! Don't play dumb!" she retorted.

"And how did you get this information?" Aizen wanted to know.

"That autistic girl of yours spilled it to Captain Hitsugaya," Soi Fon informed Aizen proudly, as if he (Hitsugaya) had done something amazing. Aizen looked at Gin, and then at Soi Fon. Gin snickered a little, and Aizen smirked.

"You… mean to tell me that you all take anything she says seriously?" he demanded, maintaining the 'bitches you all have been pwned' smirk.

"She… lied?" Soi Fon exclaimed. "Dammit retreat!"

Luckily (for the shinigami) the 2nd squad is full of ninja, so they escaped. Aizen watched them retreat with a frown.

"They will probably be killed now," he remarked.

"Yup," Gin nodded.

"Those girls are vital to my victory… we can't have that," Aizen announced. "I think they've had enough fun in the Soul Society… it's about time they came home,"

"YES!" Gin exclaimed. Aizen looked at him oddly and Gin grinned even more widely. "I mean, yes sir,"

WHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSH

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of doom!

So yes! They will be coming home! FINALLY I CAN WRITE IN MY GIN HAND AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAH!

That's what I missed the most, writing Gin's accent. It's so much fun! If you'll notice, Maddie picks up the drawl when she gets drunk.

And as for Byakuya… OMG! Coming to the rescue! Gasp!

Yeah… ByakuyaXRenji ish one of my favourite yaois.


	74. Chapter 74:Vengan a casa parte 1

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 74: Vengan A Casa Parte 1

Omniciente

When Soi Fon came back, Aja was missing. She got herself out of the hospital room and was just… wandering around aimlessly. Soon, the Seretei was under high alert.

Byakuya kept Chloe in his office, sighing. This was so much fuss over one missing prisoner.

Toshiro was furious. HE also kept Rangiku and Maddie in his office and was pacing angrily.

Mayuri just kept on doing what he was doing. The scientist knew that Dakota couldn't leave even if he wanted to.

Kenpachi only locked Nicole, Sophie and Hichigo in a room because someone from the first squad made him.

Momo was the only calm one. She knew this was all merely a misunderstanding, just like she knew Aizen really wasn't evil and that this was all that evil Ichimaru Gin's fault. Aja would come back. She just… knew it.

Meanwhile, Aja had a premonition that people from Hueco Mundo were coming. She stood on top of the roof to the Fifth squad and watched a garganta open up. Szayel, Ulquiorra, Gin and Grimmjow stepped out of it.

"It's about frickin' time!" Aja announced. "Come on, we've been stuck here for a week and a half!"

"Well so-rry your royal highness," Grimmjow growled in response. "Aizen had a bug up his ass- uh, I mean, Lord Aizen wouldn't let us leave," Aja rolled her eyes.

"Typical male," she muttered.

"Well… yer li'l stunt with Soi Fon kinda may get ya killed, and ya know we can't have that," Gin added. "So Aizen let us go,"

"Where is Nicole?" Grimmjow demanded.

"She's with the 11th squad, as is Sophie," Aja replied.

"Saw that one coming," Gin snickered.

"Chloe's in squad six, Maddie's in squad 10 and Tsuke is in squad 12," Aja added.

"Alright," Szayel nodded.

"They're all clearly labeled," Gin pointed out. "So findin' em won't be a problem,"

Aja grabbed Szayel's wrist and they rushed off.

"Why are you so worried?" Szayel demanded.

"Well… it's just, last time I saw Dakota, he was being a real smartass to a scientist guy with an ego the size of a planet. Or… more like an ego the size of yours," Aja corrected herself as they approached the 12th squad. Nearby shinigami gasped as Aja and Szayel wove through a cloud of assistance, following Dakota's wildly fluxuating reitsu.

Finally, Szayel stopped in front of a lab. He opened a door and stepped in.

DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hallo hallo beautiful people! Yes… hopefully Dakota will be saved. And were there aftermaths from the previous night's drunkenness?

Only the next chapter will tell…


	75. Chapter 75: Vengan a casa parte 2

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 75: Vengan a Casa Parte 2

Omniciente

"Trash," Ulquiorra muttered under his breath, ceroing another gaggle of shinigami. "Where is she…?"

Meanwhile, Chloe was just waking up. She lay on a futon Byakuya put in his office, according to orders. Chloe sat up, stretching out and yawning. A pounding headache throbbed in her head.

"Ow…damn…" she swore, rubbing her head.

"And you still call getting drunk fun?" Byakuya demanded dryly from his desk, an ever so slight smile on his face.

"Yeah," Chloe defended herself, standing up. "At least the dress is safe,"

Byakuya put a cup of tea in Chloe's hand.

"Its willow bark," he told her. "It will help with the headache,"

"Thanks," Chloe nodded, sipping her tea. She then sat down again, swishing her cup. The tea cleared her head.

Then, she felt a very familiar reitsu.

"My men are dying," Byakuya said coldly. Chloe got up and walked over by Byakuya, her face dead serious.

"You shouldn't go out there, you'll die," she told him.

Now, in Chloe's mind, it was kind of a diss. She meant: Ulquiorra will fry your ass like calamari.

In Byakuya's mind, Chloe was concerned that he would die and cared about him. He thought she meant: I really like/ have feelings for you and I don't want you to get hurt.

"I can handle myself," Byakuya assured Chloe gently, giving her a little kiss just as Ulquiorra walked in.

"Ah-"Chloe gasped. "This looks awkward,"

"Hn. An arrancar," Byakuya remarked, drawing his zanpaktou.

"Um-"

"Shinigami trash," Ulquiorra growled with an odd amount of hatred in his voice. "Cero,"

Let's just say Byakuya kinda needs a new wall.

"You're not even worth releasing my zanpaktou," Byakuya taunted, slicing at Ulquiorra.

"You're not even worth drawing mine," Ulquiorra replied calmly, blocking the move with his hand. "Cero,"

Byakuya flash stepped out of the way, but Ulquiorra was already behind him with another cero, sending Byakuya flying into a wall.

"Woman, come," Ulquiorra ordered.

"Ulqui!" Chloe glomped Ulquiorra, who sighed heavily and kept on walking with Chloe clinging to his shoulder.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Next stop: Gin, Toshiro and Maddie. And no, Maddie and Toshiro won't be kissing, although that would be epic if Gin walked in on them doing that. Toshiro would be a bloody smear on the wall though. Not so good.

Please do review. I apologize if Byakuya ish OOC.


	76. Chapter 76: Vengan a casa parte 3

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 76: Vengan a Casa Parte 3

Omniciente

When Maddie and Rangiku came back, Toshiro was furious. And then, Maddie passed out.

She woke up later with a splitting headache and covered in bruises and cuts.

"What happened?" she moaned, rubbing her head.

"Some guy pissed you off in a bar and you got into a fight," Rangiku replied, handing Maddie some tea.

"Me? A fight? Wow…" Maddie trailed off, taking the tea gladly. Rangiku nodded.

"You're scary when you're drunk," she added. Toshiro glared at the two.

"Good, you're awake. Come with me. Your… friend lied to me and has gone missing," Toshiro told Maddie, frowning. "And what were you thinking drinking so much alcohol! We had to pin you down!"

"Uh… sorry," Maddie apologized. "Did I hurt you?"

"Of course not," Toshiro muttered gruffly, feeling oddly touched. "Anyway…"

"So who lied to you?" Maddie asked, changing the subject.

"The autistic girl," Toshiro replied.

"Oh. Should've known. She's probably sleeping somewhere," Maddie shrugged, following Toshiro. They walked in silence.

"Have… your injuries healed?" Toshiro asked finally.'

"Eh, I'll be fine," Maddie shrugged. "It's all good.

"Hm," Toshiro nodded.

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Meanwhile, Gin calmly walked down a hall, heading to Maddie's reitsu.

"Hey taich-OH CRAP!" a random shinigami exclaimed as Gin killed him. He then began whistling cheerfully.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

"So…" Maddie trailed off softly. "What's your job like?"

"Stressful. Tedious," Toshiro answered sharply. "Your appearance didn't help,"

"Ah… sorry," Maddie frowned. She then felt strong waves of fear coming from a hall ahead.

"Are those… screams of terror I hear?" she asked. Toshiro stepped in front of Maddie and frowned.

"That's odd… is that…?" Maddie then felt rage boil up inside of Toshiro. "Gin,"

"Oh dear," Maddie remarked, tugging on Toshiro's sleeve. "We should go," Toshiro pulled out of Maddie's grasp.

"No. A captain never runs away," he told Maddie. "And anyways, I have a score to settle with him,"

"No, don't! You'll die!" Maddie insisted, grabbing his arm. "I don't want you to die because of me!"

Gin just then turned the corner, and Maddie heard something rush through the air.

"Aw, ain' that cute," he remarked, flicking blood off of his sword. "'Tsa pity… ya don' cross me twice an' live,"

Toshio made an odd gurgling noise and gasped. Blood spread on the back of his haori, and Toshiro Hitsugaya fell to the ground. Maddie stared at the red on white, feeling cold all over.

"You killed him," she remarked as Gin walked up to her.

"Yup! Although judgin' by the bruises ya got, ya had a rough interrogation," Gin replied, running a finger across one of the cuts on Maddie's face gently. Maddie pulled away and frowned.

"Let's… just leave," she muttered quietly, walking off. Gin shrugged and followed.

THEDEVILDOESN'TCRYTHEDEVILDOESN'TCRYTHEDEVILDOESN'TCRYTHEDEVILDOESN'TCRYTHEDEVILDOESN'TCRY

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Sorry all Toshiro fans. Our favourite fun-sized captain's fate will be properly described in future chapters.

This chapter is sad. But now… Maddie's a little pissed off at Gin. And Gin… ish clueless.

Please don't leave me clueless as to whether you liked this chapter or not. Review!


	77. Chapter 77: Vengan a casa parte 4

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 77: Vengan A Casa Parte 4

Omniciente

Hichigo's plan could finally take place. He now had a perfect opportunity: he, Nicole and Sophie were locked together in a room with no one else. No one to see them...and no one to stop him.

Nicole sat in the far corner of the room, her not so beloved katana next to her. Her legs were kinda crossed, and she looked bored. Hichigo sauntered over by Nicole.

"Hey there my Queen, how ya doin'?" he drawled. Nicole rose up, all suspicious, and Hichigo pushed her against a wall.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, wiggling out of his grasp and sitting down to get out of his grasp. Hichigo promptly sat down on Nicole, effectively straddling her legs. Nicole yelped and tried to push Hichigo away, but her efforts yielded nothing. The hollow grinned and lunged for Nicole's mouth, earning another yelp from her. She squirmed and turned her head away, exposing her neck. Hichigo attacked it, swirling his hot blue tongue up and down from her jawbone to her collarbone.

"Nnn! Stop it!" Nicole cried, her face reddening.

"Why? You taste good…" Hichigo purred into Nicole's ear.

"B-but Sophie!" Nicole exclaimed, trying to think of an excuse to get him off of her. Hichigo ignored her, biting down on her collarbone and causing Nicole to scream.

It was at this point in time when Grimmjow blasted a hole in the wall.

"Hey Ni-KUROSAKI!!!" Grimmjow roared, stomping over.

"Why does everybody confuse me for the King?" Hichigo complained. "I AIN' Kurosaki. Does this coat look black ta you?"

"I don't give a fuck who you are, you're on my woman," Grimmjow announced, sonidoing over to Hichigo and picking him up by the throat. Nicole glanced nervously at Sophie, who was playing happily with Psychobear.

"Sophie, let's get out of here," she called out.

"Stay." Grimmjow ordered, flinging Hichigo into a wall. He then crouched down and glanced Nicole over, his eyes falling on the bite mark on Nicole's collarbone.

"That bastard… marked you," he remarked, wiping some of the blood off. Nicole suddenly jumped on Grimmjow and hugged him.

"Thank goodness you're here! I missed you so much!" she squealed in a manner that wasn't quite like her. "There were creepers and I got drunk and spent most of my time fighting!"

"You got… drunk? Jeez," Grimmjow muttered standing up and picking up Nicole with him.

"Hm… I wonder…" Nicole murmured as they walked out of the squad with Sophie following happily.

"Hm?" Grimmjow asked.

"How the others are…"

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

O-O Hichigo is a creeper, isn't he…?

Now you all know what he was plotting… Heheh…

Next chapter: What you've all been waiting for… Dakota's part. Gasp. Jeez… I loved writing that part!


	78. Chapter 78: Vengan a casa parte 5

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 78: Vengan A Casa Parte 5

Omniciente

Szayel stepped in, and everything changed.

He saw Dakota lying on an examination table. He saw Mayuri, crouched over the boy. He saw Dakota's blood… everywhere.

He saw Mayuri whirl around and glare at him.

"An arrancar… no matter. You are interrupting my research," Mayuri snarled. Szayel closed his eyes and exhaled angrily.

"Your research? YOUR research you say? He is NOT your research, he is MY research, and anyone who says otherwise will die," Szayel said, rage consuming his voice.

"You seem quite angry," Mayuri remarked.

"Yare, yare, what an astute observation!" Szayel replied sarcastically. "You truly are a scientist,"

"You mock me, arrancar?" Mayuri snarled, drawing his sword.

"Fighting. How animalistic," Szayel scolded. "I mean, really? What kind of a scientist are you?"

"You think you know science?" Mayuri demanded. "I'm the head of the Research department!"

"And I… am the Octava Espada, Szayel Aporro Granz!" Szayel retorted dramatically.

"Yaay Szayel-dono!" Dakota slurred from his dissection table, ruining the moment. Both scientists looked at Dakota, and then at each other.

"Well then, I should make short work of you," Mayuri announced, swinging his sword (which looks like it has a dead baby on it) at Szayel. Szayel dodged gracefully and glanced around the room. He spotted what looked like a ray gun and grinned.

"Are you running?" Mayuri mocked. "How pathetic… and I thought the Espada were some of the stronger arrancar,"

"If you think I'm running from you, you must be as uneducated as you look," Szayel retorted, giving a casual little flip of his pink bangs.

"Heheh… I are Mayuri… I are edjumacated," Dakota drawled. Mayuri stabbed Dakota through the hand irately and turned to Szayel. By then, Szayel had the ray gun in his arms and a lopsided grin on his face.

"It's primitive, but useful," Szayel remarked, powering it up.

"I'm-a firin' mah lasers!" Aja announced in a red-neck accent from the doorway as Szayel fired the ray gun and sent Mayuri flying into a wall. Szayel then walked over to Mayuri's smoking body, took off one of his gloves and slapped Mayuri across the face.

"Foolish imbecile," Szayel scoffed, turning to Dakota. Dakota blinked lazily, a sickly sweet smile still spread across his face.

"Heheheeee… Szayel-dono has pretty hair," he drawled.

"'Dono'" Szayel questioned. He then sighed. The boy was obviously drugged. Szayel dug around for Mayuri's notes on Dakota (meanwhile scoffing at the lack of organization. I mean, an increase of entropy is natural in the universe, but Mayuri was a man of Science! Come on! YOU bend the universe to your will!) until he found them. Next to them was a half empty phial of something. Szayel pocketed it, and carefully picked Dakota up. Some of Dakota's wounds opened and the boy moaned contentedly.

"Curious," Szayel remarked. He then glared at Aja. "I would leave you behind, but then Aizen-sama would kill me,"

"You know- lots of people feel that way about me. It's odd," Aja shrugged.

GASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASPGASP

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So that was Dakota's chapter. I hope it gave you a few laughs. It certainly made me laugh… and Dit-Dah liked it too. So all ish good.

Please review!


	79. Chapter 79: Vengan a casa parte 6

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 79: Vengan a Casa parte 6

Omniciente

Everybody ran into each other in a large courtyard.

"Ashi!"

"Ruki!"

"Nikki!"

"Chloe!"

"Sophie and… oh dear… that doesn't look so good," Chloe remarked, pointing at Dakota.

"Fresh… air...smells… like… teen spirit…" Dakota mumbled.

"Okaay…" Nikki frowned.

"Everybody's here?" Gin asked.

"Yeah… and we have company," Chloe announced as floods of Shinigami surrounded them. Captains and vice-captains ran up to the front, including Yamamoto. Aja took Psychobear from Sophie.

"Oh boy," Maddie muttered.

"Hey! I haven' seen ya all in a while," Gin grinned, rubbing the back of his head.

"Aja!" Momo exclaimed, running up to her. Aja sighed.

"This is a pain," she muttered.

"You talk!" a random Shinigami exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm a high functioning autistic," Aja said flatly. She then turned back to Momo, holding Psychobear and fiddling with the seams. Everyone watched as she pulled a dagger out of the bear. Unfortunately, it was hidden from Momo's sight.

"You were… lying?" she asked, her voice cracking. Aja hugged Momo.

"No. I do like you," she said, kissing Momo on the forehead. Aja then pulled out the dagger, and everyone gasped. Momo stiffened, and Aja pressed the pommel of the dagger into her hand. "It's just… my loyalty lies with Aizen-sama,"

Now, while Aja was having fun with Momo, in Hueco Mundo Aizen was highly irritated. He wanted Gin and company to hurry up and get those stupid girls home so everybody could begin behaving normally. And thus, Aizen was bored. And in his boredom, he opened a portal to the Soul Society, and stepped through in time to see Aja kiss Momo… and all that followed.

There was an awkward silence.

"Ahem," Aizen cleared his throat. Aja turned and blinked. She then waved.

"Heey Aizen, how ya doin'? It's about time you showed up," Aja remarked. Aizen frowned.

"Everyone silence! I am still in charge!" Yamamoto boomed.

"No, you're not," Aizen told him coolly, opening another portal. "You're still as foolish as ever. Aja, come,"

"I'm not a dog," Aja muttered as everybody stepped back into Hueco Mundo.

And so they finally come home.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So yeah… that was the Soul Society arc. Hella long, neh? Now everybody gets to go home, and all goes back to normal, right?

…

Riiiight.

Please review.


	80. Chapter 80:Problemas en la cabeza

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 80: Problemas en La Cabeza

La Psiquiatra

I hugged Sophie as soon as I could. I should've been happy, I should've been downright joyous that I was back… but I wasn't. I just kept on seeing Toshiro's dead body, the blood slowly pooling out of his chest-

Dammit!

Damn me and my overactive imagination! And why'd Gin have to kill-

-Because he's Gin. His zanpaktou IS 'Shoot to **kill**, Shinsou'. And you wouldn't expect anything less from the frightening captain- no- ex-captain of the third squad. The squad of marigolds. What do those represent again? Sorrow? Something like that.

You became too relaxed Maddie. You must… never forget that you're surrounded by cold-blooded killers that are born from hate and feel no compassion.

Fuming inside, I ran to my room, carrying Sophie. I couldn't deal with this. It was too much.

La Bromista

It was too much. The sudden change… I mean, I had been expecting the change, from colour to white, but it still shocked me. That and the haunting image of Momo's broken face… the door in my mind slammed shut. Premonitions flickered across my eyelids, and I closed myself off from the world.

La Luna.

Buzzing…

Oh man, my hand still ached. In fact, everything ached. It was a glorious ache, a throbbing, all over. And Szayel was here too… he'll scare Mayuri away. He'll scare that scary-ass bastard away no doubt about it. And he has such preeety hair… and he's holding me to… kinda like a bride… hey… does that mean I'm uke?

I can't really feel his skin, everything is so numb. But it's throbbing… numbly throbbing? Yeah… numbly throbbing. Aaaah… it feels so good, like I'm in heaven but it hurts…

… Wait…

The buzzing…

It's… going… away-

NONONONOnononONON!

No no don't go away no please no please no!

Then everything will hurt again-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

No.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

No, I am not high, and I was not high when I wrote this.

Sorry it's so short…

Please review!


	81. Chapter 81: Ayudeme

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 81: Ayúdeme!

El Dios

Just when I was thinking things might be normal I realized that they weren't.

First of all, Maddie was trembling little, grabbed her sister and ran out, after subtly glaring at Gin. Uhg, that's probably a problem more complicated than I care to involve myself with.

Then Aja's face went blank, and she slowly walked out of my throne room, her reitsu shrinking dramatically. Great.

Finally, I noticed Szayel, who was carrying a very bloody Dakota. Dakota's reitsu was fluxuating wildly. I looked at him coldly.

"Do… I want to know?" I asked. Szayel shook his head and rushed off. "Why does everyone have… issues?"

"I don't have issues!" Chloe chirped. My cup of tea blew up.

"…"

"I… think I'll leave now," Chloe remarked, backing off. Grimmjow dragged his woman off to, leaving me alone in my throne room.

They were all back. I suppose, I should be happy, I mean, since they've been gone, four of my men have been relatively useless. But I felt… off.

I suppose more tea would help. I stood up, got off of my throne and walked off to my library. Some books would help too.

As I passed Aja's room, I noticed that her reitsu was still closed. She must be having an autistic day. They happen.

…It still bugged me. I stalked off to go find Maddie. She can get Aja out of those moods…

As I walked down the hall to her room, I noticed Tousen was standing in her doorway. The girl was looking upset, yelled several obscenities at Tousen and then threw a book at him before slamming her door shut.

She rarely swears. I sighed and went to Grimmjow's room.

"Grimmjow-_Grimmjow_! You have to let me go! Aizen's there and wants to see me-"

She read my mind?

"And yes, I read your mind, you're projecting your thoughts very loudly," Nicole added, swinging open the door and pushing her hair out of her eyes. "What do you need/

"Aja has gone autistic," I told her.

"Oh. Probably just the change in-"

"I know why she's autistic, I need you to fix it," I cut Nicole off.

"Maddie usually- oh. Daaaamn," Nicole remarked, sighing. "Okay, take me to Aja,"

"You'll help her?" I asked cautiously.

"No, you will, I can't," Nicole replied.

"What? Why not?" I demanded (without raising my voice, of course).

"Because I usually make it worse. I get the impression you're as good at messing with people's emotions as Maddie is and are not afraid to do it," Nicole told me. That is true. "And besides, aren't you god? You shouldn't have to worry. I'll just give you a boost so you can go into her head, you fix her, and then you go back home. Easy enough,"

When she says it like that… stupid Grimmjow's insolence is rubbing off on her.

We walked into Aja's room. She was staring at a white wall.

"Okay, let's start," Nicole announced. She put a hand on my forehead and one on the back of Aja's head. Suddenly, I felt a strange disembodiment surge through me. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was standing in a white hall.

"This is Aja's inner world," I remarked, walking down the hall calmly. There were many doors there, but something made me go on to the door at the end of the hall. The door was open a crack, and softly 'A Summer Place' played. I cautiously opened it and stepped in.

The room was medium sized, and filled with books. Piles of books, stacks of books, shelves of books were everywhere. I causally walked over to an open book. The page it was opened to was blank. I turned the page and on the next page there was a mirror. When I looked away, and looked back at it, the mirror had turned into a picture of me. I shrugged and moved on.

In the center of the room was an old record player. Sitting by it was a young girl with long blonde hair and wide grey eyes. She was reading an oversized book. I then noticed an identical girl throwing a ball up and down silently. The girl with the ball looked at me.

"Who are you… you're not Maddie," she remarked.

"He's Souske Aizen, former captain of the 5th squad," the girl with the book said lazily, taking a picture of me (back in my days as a captain) out of the book and holding it up.

"Which one of you is Aja?" I asked.

"Good question," the girl with the ball replied.

"That's one of the few things I don't know," the girl with the book nodded.

"So I have to determine which one of you is really Aja?" I asked.

"Yup!" Ball Aja smiled. I sighed.

"Well, it obviously isn't you," I told Ball Aja. She stopped playing with the ball and frowned.

"But… something about you doesn't seem right either," I told Bok Aja. "It's like you're…different aspects of Aja,"

Both Ajas smiled and vanished, replaced by a different Aja: the only difference was that she wore all white.

"Congratulations, you figured it out," she said politely.

"So will you stop being all autistic?" I asked.

"Awww… you care about me as much as I do about you," Aja cooed. I stared at her, and then rolled my eyes. As if! Aja is just… important to my plans, that's all. "I just need you to do one little favour…"

"What is that?" I asked mildly. Aja lead me through the winding piles of books to a large open book with a tree growing in it. ON the branches of the tree were pictures of people. I recognized all of the people from the other world, as well as most of my subordinates, and Momo. The tree's roots kept the book open.

"I can't seem to close this book," Aja complained. "Could you do it for me?"

I sighed. Everything in someone's inner world has meaning. I looked over the book. It seemed to me like it was a major part of Aja's consciousness; it held all of her relationships with people. If I closed it, they would be gone. Why did Aja want that?

Wait… something Aja said earlier bothered me. 'You care about me as much as I care about you'. I'm used to women falling for me easily, but Aja isn't like that. She's… well, she doesn't like men. And even if she did, she would never say that.

Aja doesn't wear all white.

"You're not Aja," I said suddenly, pushing the book over. There was a small trapdoor underneath it.

"Don't open that!" NotAja screamed. I did anyway. The fake ran over to the book I had messed with earlier.

"Crap crap crap crap crap!" she muttered, her voice fading. I shrugged and opened the door.

Aja, still as a young girl, was curled up in a very small little closet. I bent over and picked the girl up, wanting to get out of here. She did look cute in hr blue dress with matching hairclips though.

"Hi," she said shyly. "Do you like my room?"

"Nn… not so much," I shook my head. "It's too chaotic for my tastes,"

"But chaos is more interesting!" Aja exclaimed, giggling. Yes, this was definitely Aja.

I put her down, but she clung to my leg.

"Don't go, don't go!" she chanted, tugging at my pants. "Sit down, I'll make you tea!"

Well, it's hard to say no to tea…

Aja pulled out a tea set and made me tea. It was very good; jasmine flavoured my favourite. Eventually she curled up in my lap and fell asleep.

The fake came back with the book, looking pissed.

"Congratulations you just screwed her up!" she snapped.

"How?" I asked.

"You… you reversed everything!" she screamed. She then said something else, but I couldn't hear because I felt myself being pulled back into my body.

"Yo. Welcome back," I heard Nicole tell me. I opened my eyes and saw that I was sitting on the floor with Aja sleeping in my lap.

"You two did some pretty interesting things," Nicole snickered, walking out. I glared after her and glanced at the sleeping Aja. I felt oddly tired, and as long as Menoly and Lola don't come in, I saw no need to move from this spot.

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOSNAP!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

That was a long chapter. I suppose it makes up for all of the little ones recently.

And, it was mainly about Aja. I hope you all don't mind… but she's a fun character to write. Very complex.

Please review!


	82. Chapter 82: Los Narcoticos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 82: Los Narcóticos

El Rosado (Szayel)

At first, I wasn't so worried. Dakota was a fast healer, and once this drug wore off, I figured he'd be fine.

But that wasn't the case.

Several hours later, Dakota was screaming. I couldn't decipher most of them, but I tried coaxing him, strapping him down and everything to make him stop. All he would say was 'it hurt'. When I'd ask him what hurt, he said 'everything'.

Finally, I gave him a shot of morphine and took some blood samples. They didn't help.

Frustrated, I tried to study the phial of purple liquid. Unfortunately, in Dakota's mad thrashing he destroyed one of my machines that could analyze the chemical composition of this liquid. It could take me weeks to repair the machine… weeks I didn't have.

On top of that, Gin was bugging me. He wanted to see C.A.T.E., (who Aizen shut down for telling him he should get a wife, not a whore) and I didn't let him. So instead Gin began talking to _me_ about his problems, most of which involve Maddie.

"An' she won' talk ta me-"

"I can't imagine why," I muttered under my breath, continuing my work. Gin ignored me and continued.

"An' I can' play with Sophie 'cuz she ain' talkin' ta me either, an' I don' know why!" He ranted.

"I'm a scientist, not a psychiatrist," I snapped at Gin. Dakota stumbled into my room, trembling with wide, bloodshot eyes. He lunged for the phial of purple liquid suddenly and I caught him.

"Dakota-"

"P-p-please… p-please let me have it…" Dakota stammered.

"Eh Dakota?" Gin tilted hi head. I shook my head, tightening my grip on the struggling boy.

"I think whatever is in that phial is very addicting, and Dakota here is suffering from withdrawal symptoms," I told him. "Unfortunately I cannot determine its composition because my machines are broken,"

"Huh. Well, considerin' how old it is," Gin remarked, observing the bottle. "That weird guy Urahara prob'ly made it. Yer could ask him,"

I jabbed Dakota with more morphine and sighed. By now he was probably addicted to morphine as well. But what else could I do? Dakota fell limp in my arms and I carefully carried him to his bed and hooked him up to all of the machines he had been attached to earlier.

"So how do I see this Urahara person?" I asked Gin.

"Well, he's kinda in the land of the livin'," Gin drawled. "And if ya went there, there'd be some… issues,"

"Great," I muttered. "How do I do that?"

"I got an idea…"

OHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOESOHNOES

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry once again for the shortness. The next chapter is going to be really long, and will hopefully solve some conflicts.

This means… Urahara's coming in! Yaay! He is one of my two favourite good guys, the other being Shinji (who is epic).

Anyways… please review!


	83. Chapter 83: Triste y enfermo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 83: Mi Amiga Está triste y mi amigo está Enfermo _

El Bromista (Aja)

Autism sucks.

I go into an autistic mode, and woke up in Aizen's lap. What made things worse was the fact that Gin walked in.

"Hey Aja- hoho! Am I inturruptin' ya?" Gin teased. I blushed and stood up, and Aizen stood up too, dusting himself off.

"No," he said calmly. "Continue," Bastard.

"Anyway, Szayel kinda needs someone ta go to the land o' the livin' fer him-"

"Why?" I asked.

"'Cuz Dakota's become a druggie on some weird crap Urahara made a century ago," Gin finished. "IS it all right if they go?"

"Hm… who would go though?" Aizen asked.

"I was thinkin' Aja an' Nikky, but I asked Nikky an' Grimmy almost killed me. They're a li'l… clingy," Gin shrugged. "But not an arrancar, that would cause issues,"

"I would bring Chloe… or Maddie," I suggested. Just then, Maddie herself stuck her head in.

"Hm?" she asked.

"Human world. Bug Urahara. Talk about drugs. You in?" I asked.

"Sure, I'd love to. Hello, Aizen-sama," Maddie smiled at Aizen, her voice slightly chilled. And no greeting to Gin… damn, she must be pissed off!

"Fine. You two go, I just expect you back in the next few hours," Aizen told us. Gin looked at Maddie who ignored him, and nodded. The two left, leaving Maddie and I alone in my room.

"You're mad at Gin, huh?" I remarked. Maddie shrugged. "You've been emo since we came back… "

"And you've been autistic. Besides, it's nothing. Don't worry about it," Maddie told me blandly. I whacked her across the head. "Ow!"

"It's not nothing, it's never nothing. Tell me," I told Maddie. Her lip quivered a little.

"It's stupid. We should get going," Maddie announced, walking to leave. I scowled. I hate it when she gets like that.

I followed Maddie, we found Ulquiorra, and he (grudgingly) made us a portal. So we entered the human world.

It felt weird (at least I didn't have another spell). Luckily, the garganta was right by the Urahara Shoten, so we walked over there calmly.

"Do you have the drug?" Maddie asked me.

"Yeah. Gin left it on my record player," I nodded, holding up the phial and swishing the contents about casually.

"…Shouldn't there be hordes of Shinigami coming out to slice us into marzipan?" Maddie asked her emo-ness dissipating.

"We're not arrancar," I replied, knocking on the door. The door opened to reveal that red-haired kid Jinta.

"What do you wa-" he stopped short when he saw our uniforms.

"Hallo hallo, we would like to see Urahara-san please," Maddie said politely.

"What the hell?" Jinta exclaimed, running inside. "Boss! There are some weird arrancar chicks wanting to see you!"

"We're not arrancar," I repeated, walking in. Maddie followed cautiously. Urahara stepped out from back, adjusting that evil bucket hat of his.

"Well, what do we have here?" he remarked. "You obviously aren't arrancar-"

"You're that bitch!" Renji (who came up behind Urahara) exclaimed.

"Why thank you," I replied, bowing.

"Look, we're not here for trouble, we just want to talk," Maddie said, holding her hands up.

"Talk? You guys screwed up the Seretei!" Renji exploded.

"Okay, actually technically speaking, our rescuers did that," I pointed out.

"And you lied to Hitsugaya-taichou-"

"Hey! What I told him was the plot of a neat fanfic. If he had double checked with me, you all wouldn't have had issues," I told Renji frankly.

"And you pretended to be autistic-"

"I AM autistic!" I cut him off, feeling irritated. I then felt Maddie's calming ability kick in and both of us relaxed.

"Now that we're done screaming at each other we can get down to business," Maddie sighed.

"I wasn't screaming," I muttered. Maddie sighed.

"We need your help," she began.

"And why should we help you?" Renji demanded.

"Why shouldn't you help us?" Maddie retorted.

"Because you work for Aizen!" Renji told us.

"He has a valid point there," Urahara pointed out.

"You know what? Aizen-sama always says that the Soul Society is corrupt and evil. And after what happened to Dakota, I'd have to agree. I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourselves by helping us," I told them.

"Dakota…?" Urahara asked, looking at Renji.

"Their gay friend. He was stuck with Kurotsuchi-taichou for a while-"

"Ouch," Urahara winced, fanning himself.

"-But was busted out by some pink-haired guy thing," Renji finished.

"… Yeah. Kurotsuchi had Dakota on this," Maddie said, taking the bottle from my hand and handing it to Urahara. "Szayel can't analyze it because his machinery was broken by Dakota," Urahara frowned at the phial and swished it about.

"I'm pretty sure I recall leaving a note that said 'Do not use on humans'," Urahara remarked.

"They're enemies!" Renji hissed. Maddie's lower lip quivered.

"What have we ever done to you?" she demanded. Oh dear, today is one of her weird emo days. It doesn't happen often, but some days her emotions will be like a rollercoaster. I suspect the issue with Gin has something to do with this.

However, it worked wonders on Renji. Something about seeing an upset girl makes guys do weird things.

"So… is there an antidote for it?" I asked Urahara.

"Not really I'm afraid. Your friend has an addiction problem, and he'll have to go through rehab. I'd suggest using methadone," Urahara told us gravely.

"Oh boy," I muttered.

"Methadone? Okay," Maddie nodded, sniffing. Matsumoto then stuck her head out.

"Huh? Maddie? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"… Helping out a friend," Maddie replied quietly. I frowned, walked over to Matsumoto, pulled her into a room and closed the door.

"Hey," I greeted.

"What are you doing?" Rangiku demanded.

"Asking for your help. Did something happen to Maddie to make her all emo? 'Cuz it's really irritating. She gets all depressed, won't talk about it, and is totally giving Gin the cold shoulder treatment," I ranted. Rangiku blinked, looking confused. "He likes her. And if you give me the same crap Renji did about us being evil-"

"Are you kidding? Of course not, I've been around Maddie enough…" Rangiku trailed off. "Gin _likes _her? Oh man… I feel bad for her… Oh! Wait, Gin almost killed Hitsugaya. That might be it,"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. So Shorty isn't dead?" I asked.

"Nope, in fact, he's in the other room," Rangiku shrugged. "Punctured lung. After a few days under Unohana taichou he was fine,"

"Okay! Hopefully this will clear up all emo-ness," I grinned, feeling proud of myself.

"… I thought you were autistic," Rangiku pointed out as we left the room. I sighed.

"High. Functioning. Get it? Good," I grumbled, walking back. As I did so, Ururu rushed in with an armful of kittens.

"Their eyes just cleared up. No what should we do?" Ururu asked, struggling to keep them all in her arms.

"Well first of all, put them down," Urahara told Ururu.

"Ooh they're so cute!" Maddie and I squealed at the same time, rushing over. Urahara chuckled as I saw a cute white kitten with black paws and yellow eyes. The kitten was so shy, but I picked it up and cuddled it. Maddie was petting a black one with white paws, and a pure black one.

"I suppose we could sell them," Urahara sighed. I looked up at him pleadingly.

"Could… we please have some?" I asked slowly.

"And take them back to Hueco Mundo? Aizen probably EATS kittens!" Renji exclaimed.

"No, that sounds more like the thing Nnoitera would do," Maddie remarked, picking the two kittens up. "My little sister would live a kitty… she gets so lonely,"

"Yeah! And so do I!" I whined. Urahara fanned himself again, grinning.

"It'll come at a price you know," he remarked in a creeper-stalker tone.

"… Like what?" Maddie asked shrewdly.

"Information!" Renji suggested.

"Aizen drinks his tea black," I replied.

"Tousen-san is stalked by an autistic arrancar who likes my sister," Maddie added.

"Gin likes Maddie," I announced. Maddie promptly stepped on my foot. "Ow…"

"HE does not," Maddie muttered.

"HE dressed you up in a skimpy nurse's outfit!" I pointed out.

"HE dressed you up in a maids outfit," Maddie retaliated.

"Yes, but he was looking up your skirt," I grinned. Maddie reddened.

"EVERYBODY was looking up my skirt!" she retorted.

"Not Aizen," I reminded her.

"That's because he was too busy getting backrubs from you-"

"Okay I think that's enough information," Renji cut Maddie off.

"Awww! And it was just getting interesting too!" Urahara whined. "OH well. The cats are yours,"

"Yaay!" we squealed.

"Wait- will Aizen-sama let us keep them" Maddie suddenly asked.

"Eh, screw Aizen. The kittehs stay," I replied rebelliously. Either way… I still stuck all three of our kittens in my backpack. Just then, Tousen opened up a portal.

"Your time is up," he announced solemnly.

"Okay. Nice chattin'!" I waved to all the people, who looked at us like we were nuts.

Then again…

KITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEH KITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHSKITTEHS KITTEHSKITTEHS

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

That was a really long chapter. I almost broke it into two, but I didn't. I hope you all enjoy!


	84. Chapter 84: La Envida es Verde

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 84: La Envida es Verde

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

I ordinarily prefer silence.

It's what I'm used to, and anyone who breaks the silence (aside from Aizen-sama) is trash.

But the silence after that woman- Chloe- was oppressive.

Why was I so reflective? She was kissing Shinigami trash! (Even though she hugged me once I rescued her, and refused to let go. Much to my despair, I believe I may have enjoyed it…)

The trash may have been considered handsome as well. When I asked Ichimaru about the man, I learned that he was a noble. This definitely made him more attractive in the woman's- Chloe's- eyes.

And why does this even bother me? Let her go off and procreate with some Shinigami noble trash with his tako…

What even is tako? All I know is that it's some kind of human food…

"Ulquio~ora! Can you get out your piano?" Chloe asked me cheerfully, bouncing up and down on my/our bed.

"Why?" I asked dully.

"I wanna show you something. Pleeeease?" Ch- the woman whined. I frowned and pulled the instrument grudgingly out. I closed the door as the woman walked up to the bench, pulled the cover back and rested her fingertips on the keys tentatively. She began to play a gentle, soft melody. I recognized it as a piece from the human world I had picked up. Calmly, I sat next to Chloe and began playing harmony. The melody was difficult, but she executed it impeccably.

"You can play piano…" I trailed off.

"Yeah. Not too well, but okay," Chloe replied cheerfully.

"You seem to be playing well to me," the worlds just tumbled out of my mouth. I frowned and closed my eyes.

"Oh, that's just because Byakuya gave me lessons," Chloe announced. My lip twitched. Piano lessons? _Piano lessons?_ My calm was fading.

"Um, Ulquiorra? You're driving the pedal thingi into the ground," Chloe announced innocently. I relaxed it. Stupid human stupid shinigami stupid tako stupid piano stupid-

"Are you made at me?" Chloe asked suddenly. I turned to her. "Because every time I mention Byakuya you get mad,"

"He's trash," I replied emotionlessly.

"Everything's trash to you," Chloe pointed out.

"True," I nodded in agreement.

"He kissed me," Chloe added.

"Yes…" I muttered.

"Does that piss you off?" Chloe asked. I pulled the piano cover over the keys in one smooth stroke. I turned to leave.

"…yes…" I muttered before leaving. Chloe ran up behind me and jumped onto my shoulders.

"Yaay! You were jealous!" she squealed.

"That's a… good thing?" I asked slowly, feeling an odd warmth spread across my cheeks.

"Yep!" Chloe replied.

"Strange woman," I muttered, walking down to the mess hall.

TRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASH

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yes! Ulquiorra finally is beginning to dislodge the ginormous stick that is wedged up his butt! Victory to Chloe!

I know, bad image. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

A note about the next chapter: There will be a lemon. If you do not like these, you don't have to read. You can skim… I just ask that you read the after the chapter special. I will give a brief synopsis of what happened in the chapter there with my humorous add-ins.

Please review!


	85. Chapter 85: El Calor

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 85: El Calor

La Psitica (Nicole)

(A/N: This chapter contains a lemon. This means sex to anyone who doesn't know. You have been warned… if you do not like this, I will ask that you stick around for the after the chapter special for a little humour. Please do not flame me for this… all flames will be eaten by mah kitten Hannibal.)

When I came back to Las Noches, the first thing Grimmjow did was scoop me up bridal-style and drag me off to his room.

"W-what are you doing?" I stammered.

"Making sure you don't walk off again," Grimmjow replied, going into his room and placing me on his incredibly soft bed. After sleeping on the floor for over a week, the bed felt heavenly. I sank into the material, closing my eyes and feeling Grimmjow crawl onto the bed. I then fell asleep.

I later woke up with Grimmjow's arms curled around me. I felt weirdly safe there, surrounded by muscle and blankets. He still smelled like Axe. I inhaled and smiled.

I stayed like that for a few minutes until I tried to get up. Grimmjow wrapped his arms around me tighter and pinned me down.

"Aah! Grimmjow!" I complained. The man shook his head.

"You're not going anywhere," he told me. I sighed.

This continued a bit (in the meantime we were interrupted by various people). I fell asleep a few times, but then… ah…

Idly Grimmjow began tracing his fingertips across my bare upper arms. The nails lightly grazed my skin, making my nerves tingle. My breath hitched and I sighed. I felt oddly hot all over and shifted a little.

"Hm?" Grimmjow breathed into my ear.

"Neeh… you're turning me on," I whined, pressing my face into his muscular shoulder.

"Hah! You say that like it's a bad thing," he chuckled. I frowned and lifted my knee so that it bumped his crotch. I rubbed it a bit, feeling him harden with a spiteful smirk. Hah! Take that.

I felt Grimmjow's nails grip my arms and winced a bit as he growled something unintelligible.

"Silly woman," he growled, grinning savagely. Grimmjow rolled over, pinned me against the bed and kissed me fiercely, mashing his lips against mine and pushing his tongue into my mouth. My heart sped up and I moaned softly. Grimmjow began grinding his hips roughly, and my body moved in harmony with his. I couldn't think. There was a dark throbbing need in the bottom of my stomach and I gripped his hair. He laughed roughly and bit my shoulder, causing it to erupt in hit pain. I let out a cry and writhed as I felt his hot tongue like up my blood quickly. While his mouth was over my neck I felt the sharpness of his cold hands delving into my pants and ripping them down. I fumbled at his pants clumsily but eventually they came off too. My breathing sped up as I felt the tip of his hard member brush my entrance and I held my breath and closed my eyes as he trusted foreword. White hot pain exploded and I screamed. Grimmjow continued thrusting, slowly at first but then faster and faster. I Felt pressure building inside and gritted my teeth. After what seemed like an eternity I felt him explode inside me and I released, feeling my body relax. Grimmjow pulled out and lowered himself on top of me. I felt his hot, sweaty muscular and gorgeous body press against mine. I wrapped my arms around him lightly. For some odd reason, I felt like I had to hug him; to touch him.

Then the realization that I just lost my virginity hit me like a ton of bricks. I reddened, and then sighed. For some reason, I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be.

"You're awfully quiet," Grimmjow remarked.

"That's because I'm sore," I groaned, the endorphins wearing off. "Damn… and you bit me!"

"Yeah. You taste good," Grimmjow shrugged, licking the wound again to prove his point. "And now everyone knows you're mine," I rolled my eyes.

"Jeez," I muttered, tracing the remnant of Grimmjow's mask. "Next time I'm on top,"

"What????"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's super special after the chapter special of doom and fluffiness

So yeah.

That was the lemon.

I typed it with Hannibal on my lap. At about the middle of it he started pawing at my chest… I think he wanted to be petted. Whoops… he's a good kitten though.

Ooooh… the thought of reviews for this chapter kinda scare me… but please review?


	86. Chapter 86: Mas Gatitos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 86: Más Gatitos

El Dios (Aizen)

I was alone in my throne room sipping tea. Now, hopefully everything would return to normal. I took another sip of tea and hard something odd. I sat up, and tilted my head again. The door to my throne room was slightly ajar, and a small white thing came in. I frowned, got up from my throne and walked over to the white thing. Upon closer examination, I found that it was a white kitten, small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. It had yellow eyes, a black nose, and black paws. I inwardly laughed. The kitten looked like it was wearing an Espada uniform. I also noticed that it wasn't a hollow cat, but a living one from the human world. I heard Aja's voice from the end of the hall yelling 'Kitty! Ki~itty!"'

Sighing, I picked the creature up and walked down the hall quickly. Aja and Maddie were at the end of the hall. Maddie had two black kittens in her arms as well.

"Are you looking for this?" I asked them lightly.

"Hey! You found Souske!" Aja exclaimed, running over to grab the kitten. I casually held it up out of Aja's grasp.

"You named the kitten after me?" I asked, smirking.

"Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that?" Aja demanded.

"No. I have a problem with the fact that you brought living animals here without asking me first," I told her calmly.

"Told ya," Maddie muttered. I frowned at her.

"And you need to talk to Gin, or he'll never give me any peace," I told her.

"Yeah! Go to him! Be less emo! Also, you need to tell Szayel how to un-druggie-ify Dakota and give Chloe her kitteh!" Aja added.

"Wait- Chloe's getting one too?" I demanded. Aja sighed.

"Look, I know what you're thinking: why aren't Nicole and Dakota getting kittens? Well, we figured Grimmjow would get all territorial and Szayel would trip over a kitten in his lab," she told me sadly.

"… No… that wasn't what I was thinking," I told Aja as Maddie ran off. "Why didn't you ask me first?"

"Well, we were in Urahara's shop at the time-"

"You got them from Urahara?" I demanded.

"Yup! And for really cheap too. Anyway! Las Noches needs some warm fuzzy creatures to brighten the mood!" Aja exclaimed cheerfully. The kitten looked down at me with wide golden eyes and mewed softly.

"… Fine… you may keep them," I muttered finally. "But you need to take care of them, and don't come whining to me when Nnoitera eats them," I set the kitten down, and it rubbed its head against my leg, purring happily. Aja picked him up.

"Thank you!" she said in a sing-song-y voice. I just turned and left.

MEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAOMEAO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Gasp! Aizen has a soft spot for teh kittehs!

Yes, I speak in LOLZCATZ. Ish amazing.

Anyways… the issues with Maddie will be resolved in the next chapter. So stick around!


	87. Chapter 87 Nombres y besos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 87: Nombres y Besos

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

I ran over to Chloe/Ulquiorra's room with the two kittens. I was hoping that she would like the kitten with white paws; because I kinda liked the solid black one… he had really pretty blue-green-grey eyes. I didn't have a name though…

When I got there, Ulquiorra was walking out of his room with a giggling Chloe on his shoulders.

"Yo Chloe! I gots a present for you!" I announced cheerfully. (I wasn't emo! Just a little conflicted that's all. Nothing major, really!)

Chloe jumped off of Ulquiorra and I showed her the kittens.

"Your pick," I told her.

"Ooh! He has such cute little paws!" Chloe squealed, picking up the white pawed kitten. He had interesting grey eyes.

"He's all yours," I told Chloe. "What are you going to name him?"

"Dunno. What are you naming yours?" Chloe asked me.

"Uh… dunno. Aja named hers Souske," I pointed out. Chloe giggled, and then got an idea.

"Hey! Maybe we should name our kittens after guys with god complexes!" Chloe suggested. "I'll name mine Pein, because of his eyes,"

"Yeah, they do look like his eyes… and I'll name mine Kira because it's a cool name," I grinned. Ulquiorra looked at the kitten in disgust and walked off.

"I'll win him over, don't worry," Chloe assured me. "At least you have Gin, he probably wouldn't mind the kitten," I frowned and petted Kira's head.

"Sure," I said quietly. "I… gotta go talk to Szayel,"

"Okay!" Chloe grinned. I walked off, heading to Szayel's lab thingi. He was inside, working on some machine thing.

"Um… Szayel-san?" I asked quietly. He whirled around.

"What?" he demanded.

"We just got done talking to Urahara-san about that drug…" I trailed off, handing the scientist the phial of purple stuff.

"And?" Szayel demanded.

"He'll have to be weaned off it. Urahara-san suggested methadone," I told him.

"Hm… I see," Szayel muttered, glaring at the phial angrily. I nodded and walked out.

I meandered out of Szayel's domain, lost in thought. I was brought back to earth when I bumped into someone.

"Oh I'm sorry," I said out of knee-jerk reflex.

"So yer talkin' ta me again?" the lazy drawl of Gin came from above me. (He's about a head taller than me)

I looked up and noticed that his trademark smile was gone. Guilt stabbed in my stomach. I have been a real bitch the past few days.

"I'm sorry," I repeated quietly, looking down.

"Yer always sorry," Gin pointed out.

"Yeah…" I sighed.

"So… why weren't ya talkin' ta me?" he asked me. I winced. I was really dreading this. Now that I had calmed down, it seemed so stupid.

"I…" should I lie? I'm fairly good at it. No… "I just… I've never seen anyone… die in front of me," I said finally. Gin blinked a few times.

"Eh? Ya mean Hitsugaya? Neh, I just aimed fer a lung," Gin shrugged. "Anyways, it's prob'ly nothin' compared ta the interrogation ya got,"

"Interrogation?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah. Ya had lotsa cuts an' stuff on yer face," Gin told me. I blinked and shook my head.

"No, I got into a bar fight," I told Gin. "Apparently… I don't really remember much after about the second bottle of sake…" Gin put a hand on my head and sighed.

"Ya got drunk?" he asked me in disbelief. I smiled.

"I blame Rangiku," I replied.

"Oh. That explains a lot," Gin sighed, shaking his head.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Ya didn' do anythin' stupid, did ya?" Gin demanded suddenly.

"No," I told him firmly, taking his hand off my head. "The worst I did was kiss Izuru-san,"

"Ya kissed 'im?!?" Gin exclaimed, his hand tightening around mine.

"I was tipsy," I defended myself, now feeling worse. "Please don't be mad,"

What happened next I did not see coming. (Aja did though, as did Nicole, Chloe and apparently Tousen) Gin tipped my chin up and kissed me.

The kitten (which had been on my shoulder sleeping) mewed quietly.

"Huh?" Gin asked, not really moving away from me. My face was burning, my heart was pounding and my head was filled with clashing thoughts. IT took a bit for the question to register.

"Um… cat-er-kitten-er-no- cat-no- kitten yeah," I stammered, taking the kitten in my arms. He squirmed a little and I scratched behind his ears.

"Aw… how cute!" Gin cooed, patting my head. Was he talking about me or the cat? "What's 'is name?"

"Kira," I answered. "From Death Note, not your Kira,"

"Okay," Gin shrugged, swinging around so that he was next to me. We walked back to my room, me holding a kitten and him with an arm lazily draped across my shoulders.

WHEEEWHEEEHWHEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEEWHEEE

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Gin finally makes his move! And even the blind guy saw it coming…

And now all the kittens are named. Souske, Pein and Kira. Meao.


	88. Chapter 88: Medico! Medico!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 88: Medico! Medico!

El Rosado (Aka: Szayel)

"Methadone," I muttered, rummaging through my chemicals. I finally found some, filled a syringe with it and went to find Dakota.

For once, the boy was silent. He was unconscious, laying on one of my examination tables. His face had an unhealthy cast to it. Cuts and bruises speckled his thin skin. The boy's wrist bones, ribs and hip bones protruded. I also noticed many shiny white scars that scattered across his limbs. I gritted my teeth and injected the chemical into his system. I had pills too, but it's difficult to make an unconscious boy eat pills. (Trust me, I've tried).

Finally, I slumped into a chair. I wish I could do more. It infuriated me.

I despised this gnawing in my stomach as well. Ever since Dakota had left, it was there.

There was a stirring on the examination table. I rushed over and saw Dakota slowly open those beautiful hazel eyes of his. A flash of terror crossed them, and then he relaxed.

"… Szayel?" he asked groggily. A smile stretched across my face. Then Dakota's face contorted with pain and I frowned. Dakota struggled up, breathing heavily.

"You shouldn't exert yourself," I told him gently, placing a hand on his chest.

"I'm not exerting myself," Dakota retorted, tugging at my hand.

"You're severely injured and suffering withdrawal symptoms-"

"But they're gone now," Dakota interrupted me.

"Yes, I gave you some methadone," I told him. "They should counteract the symptoms,"

"Ah," Dakota frowned. "So I guess… I'm in rehab?"

"Yes, you are," I nodded.

"Oh," Dakota sighed. He looked sad. I slid a finger under Dakota's chin and lifted it up.

"Don't look so down- at least you're not trying to rip your veins out," I told the boy cheerfully. Dakota sighed again.

"I'll bet the filing system's a real mess," he remarked, moving to get up.

"Oh no you don't. You aren't going anywhere until you're fully healed," I told Dakota, sitting down on the table.

"But-"

"If I have to pin you down myself I will," I told Dakota, moving so that my face was approximately 5 centimeters away from his. For balance, I had to put my right hand on his thigh. As expected, the boy's pale face reddened and he gasped a little. I smirked and raised my left hand, tracing it lightly across Dakota's jawbone. I felt something rip under my right hand and Dakota cried out in pain. For a second I didn't want to move, but then I felt warm blood seep onto my hand and backed away. One of Dakota's injuries had opened.

"Oh dear, it seems I got too excited," I sighed, pulling out surgical gloves, applying some spray on anesthetic and quickly stitching the wound up.

"It's okay," Dakota replied. "It's so freaky seeing you do that but not feeling it,"

"I'm sure," I told im, finishing up. I then took of my gloves, washing my hands and putting them on Dakota's shoulders, forcing him to sit down. "Perhaps… we'll continue when you're not injured,"

Dakota smiled wryly and closed his eyes.

STITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHESSTITCHES

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yaoi fluff!

Okay, somewhat painful yaoi fluff. Whatever.

Anyways… please review!


	89. Chapter 89: Cambio de Parecer

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I do not own Bleach.

Chapter 89: Cambio de Parecer

La Bromista (Aja)

I paced impatiently in my room. There was a knock on the door. I opened it and Maddie was there. I grinned and let her in.

Next came Chloe, Lilinette and Nicole. Once everybody was in, we all sat down on my bed and grinned.

SLEEPOVER BITCHES!

(Luckily, we did not yell that out loud, or Aizen would've killed us)

"So…" I trailed off.

"Sun-Sun and I got together," Lilinette chirped.

"Wait- Sun-Sun's lesbian? Oh you lucky bitch!" I exclaimed. Lilinette giggled.

"Yeah, the Lazy-Ass finds it funny,"

"I'll bet. Anyone else got news?" I asked.

"Ulqui admitted that he likes me," Chloe informed us.

"Sweet," I grinned.

"Ichimaru-san kissed me," Maddie told us, sounding dazed. "Like… twice now,"

"Awww…" I cooed.

"Grimmjow and I…uh…"

"Had totally hot sex?" I teased Nicole.

"… Actually… we did," Nicole answered. I blinked.

"Seriously?" Maddie exclaimed.

"Dude," Chloe announced.

"It's about fuckin' time!" I exclaimed. Nikky reddened a bit and nodded.

"So, are you having kittens?" Lilinette asked.

"Ah! Hopefully not," Nicole trailed off.

"Go to Szayel for some B.C," Maddie suggested.

"Or get an I.U.D.," Chloe piped up.

"Condoms," I announced.

"Riiiight," Nicole trailed off.

"So, Ashi? How far have you gotten with Aizen? First base?" Maddie asked.

"Second base," Nicole added.

"Third base," Chloe suggested.

"Fourth base!" Lilinette giggled. I reddened.

"Hell no! I don't like that bastard!" I exclaimed. "I'm lesbian!"

"But you're always looking at him," Nicole pointed out.

"Yeah… and you got all red when you walked past the boy's bath yesterday," Maddie nodded.

"Yeah, recently you've been acting weird," Lilinette added.

"How so?" I wanted to know. Lilinette promptly took of her top and flashed me. I blinked.

"Uh… yeah?" I asked.

"Are you ogling?" Lilinette asked.

"She's not," Chloe said sadly.

"No reaction," Maddie added with a tone of wonder in her voice.

I then realized (to my horror) that they were right. I would have originally blushed or made some perverted comment. (In fact, I did once. Lilinette kicked me about three meters into a wall.)

"What the-wha- how the hell did this happen?" I demanded.

"Okay, we need to calm down and think this through logically," Maddie announced.

"Yeah, when did this start?" Chloe asked.

"Um… about a week ago," I answered.

"That's when you came back from the Soul Society," Lilinette observed.

"Yeah, and had your- oh crap," Nicole paled.

"What?" I demanded.

"Uh, remember that autistic spell you had?" Nicole asked.

"Yeah…" I nodded.

"Well, since Maddie was being a scary bitch, she couldn't fix you… so I kinda sent Aizen in your head," Nicole explained.

"WHAT?" I screeched loudly. Aizen stuck his head in.

"Why are you being so loud?" he demanded. I glared at him.

"You bastard!" I yelled, running out of the room.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hopefully this clears up a little of what went on in Aja's inner world. She now likes boys. This adds drama, but makes Aizen's job a little easier…

Please review!


	90. Chapter 90: El Meido

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 90: El Meido

El Dios (Aizen)

I stared off after Aja. She can be loud, she can be offensive, but she's never been like that to me. I turned to the other girls, who all looked shocked.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Well… we told Aja bout your escapades in her inner world," Nicole explained.

"Apparently you messed something up," Chloe added.

"Did you touch _anything_ there?" Nicole asked.

"I… turned the pages of a book," I recalled, remembering the angry words of fake Aja.

"Yeah… you turned Ashi straight," Maddie informed me.

"That's what this is all about?" I demanded.

"Yup!" Lilinette nodded.

"Hey, Aja's sexuality is an important part of her," Maddie pointed out.

"Yup!" Lilinette nodded.

"Now Aja thinks you did it on purpose… and we gotta fix it," Nicole sighed. "You _did_ do it on accident, right?"

I felt four intense pairs of eyes on me and frowned.

"Yes. What would I have to gain from reversing Aja's sexuality?" I asked calmly.

"Think about it," Chloe told me gravely.

"She _is _hormonal," Maddie pointed out.

"And pretty," Nicole added. Lilinette nodded. I palmed my forehead and sighed.

"Never mind," I muttered, leaving the room. I then stalked off to Aja's reitsu signature quickly. She was on the roof of one of the towers. Her face buried in her knees. Upon further examination I noticed she was crying.

"Go away. I don't need all your sanctimonious self-righteous shit," she snapped at me.

"…" I frowned at Aja. I felt strange, almost… guilty. I _never_ felt guilt about anything, I never saw regret in my actions. Ever.

… Now I had to get her to stop crying. Unfortunately, all my methods involve me touching Aja… that would be counterproductive.

… Would it?

Yes, it would. I don't have time to flirt with a silly autistic girl. And anyways, she's so fragile… almost like a glass vase, teetering off the edge of a table. She would break with the slightest push. I sighed heavily.

"Whatever I did, I didn't intend to," I began, walking closer to Aja. She turned and glared at me with angry grey eyes. She then turned away.

"Go away," she muttered.

"I didn't," I told her again.

"Liar," Aja hissed.

"I'm not lying," I insisted.

"You lie often, to everyone. Why not to me?" Aja demanded.

"Well, this time I'm not," I told Aja, sitting down next to her. She shuffled away from me. "Are you afraid of me?"

Aja turned, glared at me again, stood up and stalked off.

TREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERYTREACHERY

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

More drama! Gasp!

So /now/ what's Aizen gonna do?

This chapter was brought to you by Bleach's third OST. It started with me finding Shinji's theme… and then I just started finding other cool songs. They shall all be on my iPod soon.

Please review!


	91. Chapter 91: Yo Gano

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 91: Yo Gano!

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

Pein.

An odd name.

… An odd kitten. The… thing was sleeping on my side of the bed, all black and white and… evil.

I could say I'd mistaken him for a Shinigami and killed him by accident. But then Chloe would get all upset. In fact, recently she was acting oddly… she called it 'PMS'. Whatever that means.

But Chloe was out of the room right now. I stared at the kitten and it yawned.

"Trash," I announced coldly.

"Meao?" the cat meowed.

"Yes, you are trash," I repeated smugly. "Don't forget it,"

The kitten ran over by me and sat down in front of me, tilting its head. I turned to leave and felt something batting at my pants leg. I turned and stared at the kitten, which was batting at my leg.

"What are you doing?" I demanded. The cat put its front paws on my leg and meowed.

"He wants to be picked up," Chloe announced from behind me. I pursed my lips and gently lifted the kitten, just like I've seen Chloe and cradled it. The kitten began to vigorously sniff my chest. It found my zipper and began to bat at it, finally catching it and chewing it. I scowled and unzipped my jacket. The kitten stuck its head in my hollow hole and sneezed. I shuddered. That is an odd feeling.

Chloe came besides me and gently took the kitten away from me before collapsing on the bed.

"I'm tired," she complained.

"Doesn't that usually mean you've just spent the past morning pranking people, mainly Aizen-sama?" I demanded.

"No, I've been a good girl," Chloe told me, petting the kitten. It purred contently.

"Shocking," I muttered sarcastically. "Get some sleep woman," I then left the room to do some errands.

When I came back, Chloe was fast asleep, that damn kitten curled up on her chest. Chloe mumbled something in her sleep and shifted. The cat slid off Chloe's chest and onto the mattress. I couldn't help but smirk.

Victory.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry about the short chapter. The next chapter will be about the same size, if not shorter. They're kinda… little filler arcs involving the kittens. Not a lot of action, for which I apologize. I've been very slow on the longhand version… it's only four and a half chapters ahead of the typed version. (Now three and a half). I may have to switch to writing some drabbles so that the longhand version can get some upper ground… kinda like the annoying fillers in Bleach. Sorry…

Anyways, please review!


	92. Chapter 92: El Aranazo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 92: El Arañazo

El Rey (Grimmjow)

I lay on my bed, sleeping.

I was friggin' comfortable too. Nicole was curled up next to me, mumbling in her sleep. The lights were dim, my bed was squishy. All was good.

My hand limply ell from my bed and I felt something cold and wet brush against it. I jolted up, and Nicole tugged at my waist, whining.

"Nn…" I muttered at her, lying back down. A white and black kitten jumped on the bed.

"Meao?" It asked innocently. I glared at it. The kitten jumped over on _my _Nicole's chest and began licking her face.

"What are you doing?" I snarled at it, ready to kill the damn thing. Nicole opened her eyes.

"Oh, hello Souske," she said brightly.

Souske? Souske? That _thing_ is named after _that_ fucker?

Nicole turned and looked at me.

"Wow, you're over-protective," she teased, curling up around my arm.

"Humph," I growled, glaring at the kitten. The thing mewed again.

"Go away, fuckin' Souske," I snarled out it. The thing purred at me and stretched out.

"**I FUCKING HATE YOU SOUSKE!**" I screamed at it. The cowardly little shit jumped off (after scratching my woman) and ran off.

"Grimmjow you jerk!" Nicole yelled at me.

"You're on _his_ side?" I exclaimed.

"You yelled t an innocent kitten! And made him scratch me!" Nicole exclaimed, pointing to the long red scratches that stretched across her breasts.

"I'll clean them up for you," I purred, turning to her.

The door opened, and I twitched. I turned around and saw Aizen standing in the doorway, the stupid kitten from hell perched on his head.

"I didn't know you felt so strongly about me," he remarked with a smirk.

"Do you mind? I'm _trying _to make you with my woman here-"

"YOUR woman? And didn't you say after the first time I could be on top-"

"Actually you said it," I muttered quietly as Nicole tackled me.

Aizen chose at this time to leave the room.

OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So yeah…

Grimmjow is overprotective in regards to Nicole. That means NO KITTEHS!

Please review!


	93. Chapter 93: Las Bragas Parte 1

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 93: Las Bragas Parte 1

La Psiquiatra

I was comfortable. I was calm. I lay in my warm bed happily until I woke up. It was fairly early, so Sophie was still sleeping. Quietly, I got out of bed and went over to my dresser to get clothes.

I first went to my underwear drawer and saw that it was empty. Panic stabbed through my chest as I began to frantically search my room. Maybe one of the maids came in and took them to wash them… yeah… that was it…

Calming down, I went to get my clothes. To my horror, I found that they had all been replaced by lingerie. I blinked, and reddened.

Mind you, I sleep in my underwear and my bra, so I couldn't just go out in my pajamas. In fact, I don't really see the point in wearing pajamas unless it's really cold out. I mean, who's going to see me?

…

Not Gin. He and I are _not _sleeping together. I'm a little freaked out that he actually _likes_ me (and he's a good kisser) and I can't actually imagine having sex with him…

…

… Okay, I _can_, but I'm a fanfic writer, and that's my job!

…

Wait...

Who would be crazy enough to steal all my panties and replace all my clothes with lingerie? Gin.

Twitching, I stormed into Gin's room.

"Ichimaru-san-" I stopped short when I realized he was still sleeping, sprawled across his bed with the blankets kicked off to one side and his pretty silver/lilac hair all messy…

…and he sleeps nude.

I felt my face heat up and I turned around, totally embarrassed.

"Eh… Maddie? What ya doin' in my room?" Gin asked groggily from his bed.

"Um, I was going to ask you something, but since you're, uh, naked, I'll… uh, wait," I stammered, trying to keep my cool. (A/N: What cool?)

"Naw, that's okay. Jus' cuz I ain' wearin' clothes don' mean I can't answer yer question," Gin replied wickedly. I flushed even more.

"Ichimaru-san-"

"Awa relax, I'm covered up," Gin sighed, I turned carefully around and saw that indeed, Gin had a blanket drawn up to his waist. He still had a sexy chest, but that wasn't the point.

"Um, yeah… would you happen to know where all my clothes are?" I asked, trying not to sound accusing.

"Ya mean yer clothes are missin'?" Gin asked me. "Yer wearin' clothes right now!"

"This is different!" I exclaimed, turning red again. "They've all been replaced by lingerie!"

"And ya think I did it?" Gin demanded.

"Well… yeah-"

"I'm hurt!" Gin exclaimed, sounding wounded. I frowned, feeling guilty.

"Well-"

"I can't believe ya thought I'd do that!" Gin added. I sighed.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll go look for them on my own," I told Gin, retreating back it my room and putting on one of the lingerie.

Well… it was pretty. And silky. So yeah, it only went mid-thigh, but it wasn't _that_ bad.

I should give one to Nicole… she's about my size…

I found one with leopard spots on it and grinned. Yeah.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So what happened to Maddie's clothes?

Why does Gin sleep without clothing on?

Can Gin be trusted?

All will be revealed (except the Gin sleeping naked part) in the next chapter of… Bleached Armageddon!


	94. Chapter 94: Las Bragas Parte 2

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 94: Las Bragas parte 2

La Sonrisa (Gin)

I can't believe she actually fell for that!

Okay, I kinda can. Maddie's a trusting person. But still… she looked so cute all red-faced and embarrassed too…

I got dressed quickly and looked behind my closet, where Maddie's clothes were, safe and sound. Aizen-sama would probably make me give them back. I could dump them in Nnoitera's room or something… then I'd have an excuse to kill him.

I boredly lift my room, prowling the halls. AS I neared the kitchen, I heard a scream. I sauntered in and saw Aja standing in front of the freezer, with Maddie's underwear spilled all over her. She picked one up.

"What th hell? I come here to get a Popsicle and get attacked by a rain of underwear!" she exclaimed. Just then, Maddie walked in, wearing burgundy lingerie with black lace trim. She reddened slightly and then stared at the pile of frosty panties.

Now mind you, Maddie had interesting underwear. They aren't just plain… no, some are silky, some our lacy and some have cute little bunnies on them. I find it cute!

"Why are my panties in the freezer?" Maddie demanded.

"Actually, they are on me," Aja corrected glumly. I've noticed that she's been a lot more emo lately. I wonder if it has anything to do with Aizen's inquiries on her, and his unanswered invitations to tea.

Maddie sighed frustrated, gathered up her undergarments and huffed off to the laundry room.

"You did it," Aja told me venomously.

"Who me?" I asked innocently.

"Freaking pervert," she muttered.

"Aw shucks, yer bein' so nice!" I simpered. Aja glared at me. "Now, what crawled up yer ass and died?"

"You're fucking leader," Aja replied. "I swear, the next shinigami I see I'm joining," I frowned.

"Now don' be like that," I told her. "IF ya do that, then I'll have ta kill ya, an' then Maddie'll git all mad at me _again_ an' Aizen'll be all emo-"

"Don't give me that. If I die, he'll find someone else to fuck up the ass," Aja growled.

"He fucks ya up the ass?" I asked curiously.

"FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING!" Aja shouted.

"No need ta shout," I told Aja. Aja glared at me again and stomped off. I sighed and scratched the back of my head.

"Well, that coulda gone better," I remarked to the freezer, grabbing a Popsicle.

About half an hour later, Aizen called a meeting. I reluctantly went, and Aizen randomly talked about stupid stuff I don't really care about. Oh well, I got tea out of it, and I got to make funny faces at Grimmjow when Aizen wasn't looking.

I was actually about to fall asleep standing up when something happened. Little Sophie-chan came running into the meeting room with a pair of boxers on her head.

"Foxes?' Grimmjow asked, pointing to the design on them. I paled. There was an awkward silence.

"… Gin… please remove your undergarments from the child's head," Aizen said at last.

"Sure thing-"

"You a bad panty thief! Give Maddie her panties back!" Sophie exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at me. I sighed, picked the child up and walked off.

FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING! FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING! FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING! FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING! FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, so the mystery of the panties has been solved. Yaay!

I, unfortunately have some unfortunate news. (Okay, I used too many unfortunates) As you all most likely have gathered by now, I write Bleached Armageddon out in a notebook first. But since I lack motivation in the summer, I've been really lagging. I am really worried about running out of material, so I'm going to take a break from the main story for a bit.

What I will be doing is writing a series of behind the scenes scripts that will be very crack-fic-esque. These scripts will talk about my OCs and describe them in further detail, because I have been getting reviews telling me 'Who is Ashi?' and 'What is going on? I ish confuzzlemented'. Confuzzlemented fans are not good things. So… hopefully these scripts will clear things up. And give some hints to future stuff I haven't written yet. I will be starting a new story thing titled 'An Interview with the Bringers of Armageddon'. Just to warn y'all. Look for it tomorrow.

And… please review!


	95. Chapter 95: Pasar la Noche en Blanco

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

(Note: This chapter contains a yaoi lemon. You have been warned. To all of you who don't really wanna read that, please stay tuned for the after the chapter special of mine)

Chapter 95: Pasar la Noche en Blanco

El Rosado (Szayel)

Several weeks passed. Dakota is doing much better in his rehabilitation. His injuries have healed. There are a few sore spots, but now the only thing remaining from Dakota's ordeal was scars… and nightmares.

One night, when I actually was sleeping, I awoke to the all too familiar sound of Dakota screaming. Jumping to my feet, I ran to where Dakota was sleeping. The boy was thrashing on his bed, yelling.

"Dakota-Dakota! Wake up," I told the boy, rushing over and picking him up. The boy squirmed in my arms. "Dakota," I whispered in his ear. He calmed down, clinging to me tightly. When I tried to put him back down, he clung even tighter. Sighing I carried Dakota back to my room, slumping on my bed and laying the boy down next to me. Dakota's eyes opened, and he moaned happily as he sank into my mattress.

"It feels so good…" he whispered, shifting. I stared at the boy, feeling an intense heat pass through my body. My eyes raked across his form, from his long legs to his slender chest to his flushed face. Dakota turned his head and looked at me lazily through half-lidded eyes.

"How come you get such a comfy bed?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm an Espada," I replied, sliding down and over so that I was lying next to Dakota. He sighed contentedly, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"You're not falling asleep, are you?" I breathed into his ear. The boy's eyes shot open and he shivered slightly as I traced his outer ear with my tongue. I wrapped my arms around his thin waist and lazily brushed my fingers across his hip bone. Dakota's face flushed. Smirking I slid my hands up and drew lazy circles on the boys stomach. His breath hitched, but he stayed still. I placed a kiss on his jaw line and Dakota turned his head to kiss me full on. I smirked into the kiss, pushing my tongue into his mouth. Dakota moaned softly, opening his mouth for better access. He curled his arms around my bare chest and turned on his side. My hands were now on his back, and I ran them up and down it, pressing my hips against Dakota's. He replied by grinding his against mine, his grip on my back tightening. I hissed, and then realized that at this rate we'd be pushed off the bed. I flipped Dakota on his back and straddled him. I could feel him harden through his thin boxers and ground down on him again. Dakota let out a strangled moan and his hips bucked up against mine. I carefully peeled the boy's boxers off and slid my fingers down the crack of his ass. He moaned in anticipation as I stuck a finger in, stretching the hole. The boy moaned and writhed under me as I slowly added two more digits, working them slowly and taking in the boy's reactions. I felt Dakota clawing at my hakma and let him pull it down. His long hands closed around my manhood and began squeezing it, working up and down the length. I stopped my actions and looked the boy over, memorizing every detail of his glorious body. Once I was satisfied, I flipped Dakota over and rammed into him. He screamed in pain and I held myself still, waiting. After a few minutes, I began thrusting again, closing my eyes and savouring the hot tightness around me. I lay close to Dakota's body, feeling his heat and wrapping my hands around him, working him, working him to the same rhythm as my thrust. I felt him come in my hands and gave one last thrust until I came as well, the pressure releasing. I pulled out and lay next to the panting boy, brushing hair out of his eyes and hugging his head to my chest.

"Now, you can go to sleep," I whispered.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Hah! It is done! Finally… damn, it took me three days to write that sucker, and it still probably epically fails. T-T

Well, it feels weird to be writing in prose again, instead of script form. I'll need to get used to it again.

Looking this over… I realize it's really short. Sorry! I just… wanted to get it done and over with. So I have.

Please review… God, the idea of your reviews terrifies me… T-T


	96. Chapter 96: El Descanso

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 96: El Descanso

El Dios (Aizen)

Three days.

It has been three days since my fight with Aja. I'm fine with it. Really, I am. It's just… she is blatantly ignoring me.

She talks to other people. She talks to other people in front of me and pointedly ignores me… it's as if to her I do not exist. This behavior is… unacceptable.

So I invited Aja to tea. I planned on resolving this issue once and for all.

Unfortunately… she declined.

"She what?" I demanded.

"Well, act'lly, she told ya ta shove yer teapot up yer ass sideways," Gin corrected cheerfully. I twitched, and then rested my chin on my hand, thinking.

"Bring her here. Use force if necessary," I told him, getting off my throne and walking over to my tea parlor. (A/N: Yes, Aizen has a tea parlor. It is a manly one too…) A few minutes later, Aja stalked in, Gin following her with a very wide grin on his face. Aja spun around and glared at Gin.

"I expect the pictures by this evening," she told him coldly.

"Sure thing!" Gin saluted Aja and turned to leave. "Have fu~un!"

"Fuck you," she muttered under her breath. I twitched at the profanity, but smoothed out my face and sauntered over to Aja.

"Hello-"

Aja walked past me as if I wasn't there and sat down at a table gracefully. I sighed and walked over to the table as well, sitting down. A servant came in and poured us tea. I sipped it gently, watching Aja from the rim of my cup.

"What do you want?" she asked coolly.

"I wanted to apologize for my actions the other day," I replied smoothly. Aja stared at me.

"You're apologizing?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes," I replied. Aja shook her head and frowned. I smirked. Yes! Here's where she says 'No Aizen-sama, it's my fault. Please forgive me' or something along those lines. Aja took a sip of her tea.

"Aizen…" she began.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Your tea sucks," Aja announced, standing up and stalking out. I stared after her.

No one insults my tea.

The last person to make a derogatory comment towards my tea was my 'dear' Hirako-taichou, and you all know what happened to him…

This was the last straw.

I went into Aja's room and took her record player out of it. I hid the contraption in my closet craftily, and waited.

TEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATETEATEATETEATEATEATETEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEATEA

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Yo yo yo mah peeps!

Okay, ignore that… I'm in an odd mood. But now… there shall be drama in the story! *cackles evilly*

Okay yeah… I just had some ramen. This explains my excitement…


	97. Chapter 97: Corte de Pelo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the song 'Just Hold Me' by Maria Mena

Chapter 97: Corte de Pelo

La Bromista (Aja)

That bastard.

That mother fucking bastard.

First he fucks with my head, then he demands I come to tea, then he fake-apologizes and now he's taken away my record player! What a douche!

Pissed off, I paced my room. I _hate_ men like that! It was 2:30 in the morning, and I seriously needed some music pronto.

Suddenly, I got an idea. I can… make my own music! I've had a song stuck in my head recently… I could sing! Since my singing sucks… hehe… I sat on my bed, took a deep breath and started to sing.

"_But if I wanted silence/I would whisper/ and if I wanted loneliness/ I choose to go/ and if I like rejection/I'd audition/ and if I didn't love you/ you would know/ But why~ can't you just hold me? / And how~ come it's so hard? / And do~ you like to see me broken? / And why~ do I still care? / Still-"_

My door slammed open. I looked up. Two female figures stood in the doorway.

"Oh, _that's_ what it was," Menoly snorted.

"That explains a lot… I mean, it was so weird! Aizen-sama took that strange machine away, but I still heard vile noise coming out of this room!" Lola explained in mock amazement.

"It hurt my ears," Menoly added, covering her ears.

"Go away," I told the girls blandly. I really didn't want to deal with them. I was pissed off. Lola twitched, stalking over by me.

"Who do you think you are?" she demanded, grabbing the collar of my shirt.

"Aja," I responded. She slapped me across the face and I went tumbling. That girl has a mean bitch slap! I sat up and glared at Lola, feeling blood seep into my mouth. Lola stalked over by me and kicked me in the stomach.

"You're nothing but a stupid human whore!" she yelled at me.

"Lola-"

"Shut up!" Lola cut Menoly off. "You're just as pissed off at what she's done as I am,"

"True," Menoly nodded, stalking over by me and grabbing a handful of my hair. "What pretty blonde hair…"

"Yeah," Lola agreed, drawing her sword. My eyes widened as the arrancar sliced off a chunk of my hair.

"Sto-" when I tried to protest, I got kicked in the stomach and another chunk was cut off. Finally the last chunk was cut off. My blonde hair was scattered all over the floor, my blood staining some of it red. Under ordinary circumstances, the scene would've been pretty.

My ribs hurt. My stomach hurt. My cheek hurt. My head hurt. My upper back hurt where Lola's zanpaktou grazed it. It all hurt so much… and they were laughing at me.

Furious, I stood up and punched Lola. I hit her square in the jaw. She stumbled back and glared at me.

"You bitch!" she kicked my legs. Menoly grabbed my arms as Lola kicked my ribs again. "You think you're all high and mighty just because Aizen-sama's interested in you? You human whore!"I felt myself get thrown against a wall and I blacked out.

STEPBACKEVERYONENOTHINGHERETOSEE…JUST IMAMATEDANGERINTHEMIDDLEOFITME…

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

OOO… poor Aja! She got her hair cut… among other things…

So what will happen to Menoly and Lola? And what will happen to Aja? And what will happen to Aja's record player? And what will happen to Aizen-eh… who cares about him…anyways! Please review!

Also… about last chapter… any guesses about what the pictures Aja wanted Gin to get her? Whoever guesses correctly will get a special one shot written for them!


	98. Chapter 98: Como Llovido del Cielo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 98: Como Llovido del Cielo

La Bromista (Aja)

"**You bitch!" she kicked my legs. Menoly grabbed my arms as Lola kicked my ribs again. "You think you're all high and mighty because Aizen-sama's interested in you? You human whore!" I felt myself get thrown against a wall and I blacked out.**

I blearily forced my eyes open a few minutes later. My head was on its side, and all I saw was a pair of feet. I rolled myself over to my back, ignoring the screams of protest from my side and shoulders. Looking up, I saw Aizen standing over me. I blinked dumbly, blood caught on my eyelashes making them feel wet and heavy as if I was crying. Maybe I was…

I looked up at him, and I suddenly realized that I had done it. I finally pissed off Aizen enough for him to kill me. Cold fear gripped my chest as Aizen began to slowly walk around the room.

"They cut your hair," he said finally.

"Yeah," I managed to croak out. I heard him walk over to me and felt my body being picked up. Pain erupted in my back and I whimpered softly. I closed my eyes as I felt myself being carried to another room. I really don't like pain…

"Don't fall asleep," Aizen ordered me. Stupid man… I felt so sleepy though… "You have a large lump on the back of your head, and you may have a concussion,"

"Oh," I replied as I was laid on a soft bed. I felt Aizen's hand slide over the back of my head and familiar warmth spread across my skin. I slowly opened my eyes and stared up at the high arched ceiling. The feeling of him healing me was so calming… I relaxed into his touch.

"Hm, they're not usually this bad," Aizen remarked, moving on to my side.

"Hm?" I asked in hazy confusion.

"Menoly and Lola," Aizen clarified.

"Oh. I egged them on by singing," I answered quietly. "I deserved it… they didn't like my voice,"

"I don't see why… it's very nice," Aizen replied casually, continuing his healing.

"Are you kidding? My singing is horrible," I snorted.

"I disagree," Aizen replied smoothly, moving onto my stomach. I jerked a little, but then settled as the skin there grew warm.

He likes my singing? For some odd reason, the fact sent butterflies through my stomach. Well… perhaps it was also because his hand was there. Yeah… that may have something to do with it. Damn hormones…

"Is something wrong?" Aizen asked me. I shook my head.

"No… why?" I asked.

"You looked like you were in pain," Aizen replied.

"Oh… I'm fine," I told Aizen as he pulled his hand away. I felt really bad though. I had been really horrible to him and he just saved my life… which is totally unlike him unless he wants something from me… eh… I'll just pretend this one time he has pure intentions.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Hm?" Aizen blinked.

"For dissing your tea," I replied. "And the other stuff,"

"Ah," Aizen nodded, leaning back.

Somehow, I fell asleep. What can I say? For a guy with a god complex, he is _really_ comfy.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So… now that part of Aja's issues have been resolved. But what about Menoly and Lola? Hm… that is a good question…


	99. Chapter 99: Ciempies

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 99: Ciempiés

El Fuego (Chloe)

I was running across an empty field. It was raining, so that the dirt in the field was turning into mud, sticking to my feet. I looked behind me and saw a huge centipede with many faces on its body chasing after me. It wanted me face…

The other faces leered at me. They were of my friends, my family, Ulquiorra… faceless soldiers trudged alongside it, droning some annoying as hell buzz.

"Womaaan," the centipede rumbled. I sped up, but I felt like I was running through quicksand. My heart was pounding madly in my chest. My feet were sticking to the mud, sucking my inside, down into the damn muddy field .The centipede thing lunged at me and I could feel the sharpness of its legs pierce at my sides-

"Chloe!"

I sat up, breathing hard and sweating. I was not in a field; there was no mud on my feet. I was in Las Noches. God, I never thought the cold black and whiteness of this place would be so soothing. Outside I heard a hollow roar and I jumped, clinging to the closest thing to me… Ulquiorra.

The Espada was next to me, looking concerned. Most people would find this odd, but Ulquiorra actually does show emotion when no one's around. Usually it's irritation at me, but sometimes it is concern, or confusion at me. Like the time I kissed him…

"Chloe," Ulquiorra's cool, soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "You were screaming,"

"Oh, I was?" I asked slowly. "Sorry…" I clung tighter to Ulquiorra.

"That's… fine," he replied. "Were you… having unpleasant dreams?"

"Yeah," I nodded, biting my lip and leaning on the stoic man. Apparently he wasn't expecting that, because he flopped over.

"Uhg woman…" Ulquiorra sighed from under me. I looked down at him. Secretly, I thought it was totally sexy when he called me woman, even though I asked him not to. It's just the way he says it that makes my chest all light and spinny.

"Hm?" I asked innocently, laying my head on his chest.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Getting comfortable," I replied smugly.

"My chest is not a pillow," Ulquiorra remarked, but made no motion to move my head.

"It's comfy though," I retorted, rubbing it with my cheek kinda like a cat. (I think I am part cat…)

Ulquiorra sighed and I felt his hands gently rest on top of my head, threading though my curls.

"You're not going to have any more unpleasant dreams," He announced. I smiled.

"No, I won't," I answered, sliding up and kissing him on the cheek. To my utter surprise, he kissed me back, and pressed my head into his shoulder. I smiled and settled down, drifting off to sleep.

CREEPYCRAWLIESCREEPYCRAWLIESCREEPYCRAWLIESCREEPYCRAWLIESCREEPYCRAWLIESCREEPYCRAWLIESCREEPYCRAWLIES

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Yaay more fluff! Fear the fluff!

Yeah… so I'm going to resolve what happens to Menoly and Lola in two chapters. Next chapter is going to be some bloody fluff though… please review!


	100. Chapter 100: Sangre

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 100 (Yaay!): Sangre

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

And there he was.

I didn't think much of him at first. HE was always around… someone's fracción, I never really paid attention. I knew his name though- Sayid. Like the sexy guy from Lost. This guy wasn't really that sexy though… he was taller than me, had long dark green hair and yellow eyes. I never really though much of him though until I was pressed against a cold wall with Sayid's face several inches from mine.

"Wha-"

"Shh," Sayid whispered. I reddened. He happened to catch me right after my shower, so I wasn't exactly properly dressed.

"Please let me go," I asked, squirming.

"Ooh, but I don't want to," he replied, his voice sounding rough. I began to struggle properly, but my struggles did nothing. Sayid burst out laughing.

"Don't bother trying to struggle, you're just a human," he sneered, tightening his grip on my shoulders. "Your precious little powers are useless!

I bit my lip. He had a valid point. But that didn't matter as much as I felt his hot breath against my damp neck and his oily hands prying apart my bathrobe. I took a deep breath to scream. Unfortunately my years in choir have conditioned me to breathe through my diaphragm, thus causing my stomach to expand noticeably. I have great lung capacity, but that does you no good when you've been kicked viciously in the stomach mid-breath. And since Sayid was not ordinary human, my vision when white and I chocked as the air rushed out of my lungs and I slid down, limp. Sayid slammed me against the wall, propping me up and ripping open my bathrobe. AS soon as I felt his hands on my breasts I squeaked in protest. As I did so, I felt Sayid dig his sharp fingernails into the soft flesh.

"Be silent," he hissed, pressing close to my body with a crazed look on his face.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. This can't be happening. No, this can't be happening. No no no no no-

Sayid stiffened, and I felt something hot and wet spray across me. He choked and turned. I saw something silver pierce him, over and over. Sayid's body twisted with each blow, blood showering me. I blinked with each blow until his mangled body hit the floor with a heavy wet thud.

Soft footsteps clicked as Gin walked across the bloody scene calmly, a splatter of blood on the side of his face. His smile was gone.

"Maddie," he said, his drawling voice sounding dead serious. I couldn't find my voice. I simply closed my eyes and clutched my aching stomach. I hope nothing was damaged. I felt Gin's arms close around me and I walked foreword, my legs shaky. He led me gently to the bathroom and I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry I didn' git there sooner," Gin said softly, wetting a washcloth and wiping my face.

"It's okay," I croaked out as the warm washcloth passed down my neck. It felt weirdly soothing. I slowly sat down on the toilet seat, taking the washcloth from Gin and taking a deep breath, ignoring the ache in my stomach. "It's okay," I repeated.

"He tried to-"

"I'm sorry," I cut him off. Gin opened his eyes, which were a hungry blood red. I could feel rage pouring off of him in angry torrents.

"Did he do anythin' ta yer?" he demanded, his voice deadly silent.

"I just got scratched and kicked," I replied. "Nothing worse, I swear. I'm okay," Gin face softened, and he kissed me on the forehead.

"Okay," he nodded, walking out.

After I showered and got into some clothes I went into Gin's room. He was reading on the bed, and looked up.

"Huh?" he asked. I ran over and glomped him Chloe-style. The main kinda flailed back a bit, but then grinned at me.

"Thank you," I told him quietly.

"Awe it's nothin'. Besides… yer mine," Gin told me seriously, kissing me again. I smiled.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yay number 100#! This story has gone so far… and so many people like it… I wanna thank all of you who favourited it, and alerted it, and favourited me… Ahh, y'all make me so happy!

So yes… Bloody fluff. Every time I typed in Sayid, I wanted to type in Szayel… so I ended up typing in Szayeid. Thank God for spell check! As a side note, this chapter was brought to you by Las Ketchup, an awesome music group. I have an illegal copy of one of their CDs… ^_^ Anyways, please review!


	101. Chapter 101: Problemas Amorosos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 101: Problemas Amorosos

El Dios (Aizen)

I sat in my chair in the room where my precious Hyogaku was kept. Menoly and Loly stood in front of me, pink faced not from embarrassment or shame but infatuation.

Mind you, I knew of this. Wherever I went, there were always girls (and even some guys) who developed an infatuation for me. I used this to my full advantage often, but this time it was just annoying and troublesome.

"Do you know why you two are here?" I asked pleasantly.

"No…" they both answered.

"Alright then… do you remember what I said to everyone when our visitors from another world came?" I asked.

"No…" Menoly murmured.

"No, not really," Loly added. I sighed.

"I specifically said that no harm is to befall them," I answered. Both girls paled. "Now do you know why you are here?"

"A-Aizen-sama, we only did it for your sake!" Loly stammered.

"My … sake?" I demanded.

"Yes! Ever since that human bi-er… girl came, you've been acting strange," Loly explained.

"Yeah, like when she went to the Soul Society you acted depressed," Menoly added.

"And when she refused to talk to you… "Loly nodded.

"And you talk about her in your sleep,"

"And you hum her songs!"

"And-"

"ENOUGH!" I exclaimed. Both girl's eeped and shrank back. I glared at them, highly tempted to kill them both.

However, I realized that they had a point. I was acting way too attached to that Aja girl. It was unhealthy for a god to fall for a mortal…

But then again, who's to say I can't? There's no law that states that I cannot have a lover. It's not exactly a good idea to fall in love… but something tells me it's too late for that. I blinked and stared at Menoly and Loly.

"Thank you. You may leave now… but if you two harm Aja again I will kill you," I told them calmly. They both squeaked and scampered off like little mice.

Fools.

MOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSEMOUSE

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yeah, this one was short, but it was important. Aizen has figured it out! You get a gold star!

Aizen: …

Yeah yeah. But next chapter… something is going to happen. Something big. Okay… the start of something big and amazing and awesome…

So… I'll see y'all later!


	102. Chapter 102: Vamos de Vacaciones!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 102: Vamos de Vacaciones!

La Psitica (Nicole)

"A vacation?" I asked Grimmjow.

"Yeah. Aizen-sama's taking Ichimaru, Szayel, Emobitch, me and you guys to some hot spring in the land of the living," Grimmjow explained. I grinned.

"Yeah bitch!"

So yes. That's how ten people (some person named Charlotte Cullhorn agreed to babysit Sophie) ended up in two vans heading to some exclusive hot spring spa place. We couldn't just open portals there nooo…

Aja and Dakota were designated as the drivers, because they knew how. We had a girl car and a guy car. The guy car was Dakota's: it had Szayel, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra and Gin in it. The rest of us were in the girl car. Ironically, this included Aizen. Hehe… now Aizen's a girl.

"Okay, buckle up!" Aja announced, turning on the engine.

"I didn't know you were a safety first person Aja," I teased.

"Well, if you don't, I can't guarantee your safe passage to the hot springs. Coincidentally, if you feel the need to hurl, learn how to unroll the van's window very quickly," Aja told us, slamming on the gas. Our car hurtled onto the road, zooming across the dirt.

"God save us all," Maddie murmured.

"I wish I could help you there," Aizen muttered. Aja rolled her eyes and blasted up the radio, which happened to be playing 'Die Mother Fucker Die'.

"Woot! Turn it up!" I exclaimed. Aja complied, and we all sang along. Well, except for Aizen, who had this mix of horror, disgust and agony frozen on his face. I almost felt bad for him. Almost… but not quite.

By some amazing miracle, Aja knew where she was going too. Within two ho9urs we careened to a stop in front of a large, fancy hotel-like hot spring place.

"Out of curiosity, why did we insist on this one?" Chloe asked as we stepped out of the car and tried to gain our bearings.

"Mixed baths," Aja replied.

"Ooooh…" Chloe Maddie and I grinned. Aizen sighed.

"I believe that the others are coming," he remarked, pointing to the other van. Sure enough, the van came to a stop and the boys clambered out of it.

"Please don't take apart the engine," Dakota was telling Szayel.

"But how else am I to know how it works?" Szayel demanded.

"If you do that we can't get home," Dakota replied.

"Either that, or we'll have ta get Aja ta drive us home," gin added. "An' lat I checked, Aizen-sama didn' look so good-"

"Well Aizen-sama's a pussy," Grimmjow muttered, Aizen twitched, as did Maddie. (She hates it when people use that word. Don't know why…)

"Grimmy, watch your language!" I chided Grimmjow. He blinked and looked over at me.

"Hey, you survived the ride," he grinned at me.

"Yeah," I nodded, kissing him quickly. He grabbed me and held me tightly against him and-

"Hey! Save the het stuff for a private room! I'm _trying_ to go back to my lesbian ways and seeing you two doesn't help!" Aja shouted.

"Can it!" I replied, pulling away from Grimmjow. "Sorry, but I gotta unpack and stuff,"

It was true. We all checked in, unpacked in our respective rooms and settled in. And then… we decided to take a dip in the hot springs…

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So… part one of the Hot Spring Arc begins! I've been planning this one for a while… it's gonna be so much fun! Hehe… the real fun part shows up next chapter! Please review!


	103. Chapter 103: El Yaoi Dominara el Mundo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 103: El Yaoi Dominara el Mundo

La Bromista (Aja)

It was in the changing room when the problem made itself known. We girls went there to take off our clothes and we found a scary sighed.

Two young girls were changing as well. I recognized them as Yuzu and Karin Kurosaki.

"Oh crap," Maddie remarked.

"Yeah, that's not good," Chloe agreed.

"Yeah…" I nodded. The twins turned to look at us.

"What's your problem?" Karin demanded.

"You guys here with your family?" I asked.

"Yeah…?" Yuzu asked. We all looked at each other.

"What's the problem?" Nicole asked.

"Let's go to the boy's room," Maddie said nervously.

Meanwhile, Ichigo Kurosaki was in the men's changing room, looking for a stall to change in. (For some odd reason, the boy's changing room had stalls in it but the girl's didn't.)

Ichigo happened to open a stall at the end and saw two fully nude men making out. That would be Szayel and Dakota my dear friends, who for some odd reason couldn't wait until the hot springs to get it on. (I personally say it was Dakota's fault- he wiggles his hips when he walks…)

Anyways, our poor Ichigo's virgin eyes widened and she screamed something most definitely unmanly as he ran down the room. Just before he could escape a shadow crossed his sighed. Ichigo plowed into it, toppling both of them to the ground outside the men's changing room just as we girls came out.

"Holy-"

"Well, it's about time they came out of the closet,"

"Yaoi!" (Yes, that would have been me)

"Yes… but I thought Aizen would be seme!"

"Our Ichigo's not the uke!" Karin remarked with amazement, covering Yuzu's eyes.

Yes, you read that correctly. Ichigo was sprawled on top of a decidedly nude Aizen. The substitute Soul Reaper turned bright red just as his dad barreled in.

"Ichi- oooh…." Isshin stopped short, and Aizen glared at him.

"Can I look now?" Yuzu asked innocently. Ichigo jumped off of Aizen and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he demanded. Aizen stood up, adjusting his towel.

"Trying to relax," he replied, brushing dirt off of his muscular and unfairly sexy chest. Gin, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow stepped out at this time too. (A/N: Sorry, I forgot to mention that they are all in gigai, but still have the numbers tattooed on them)

"What the fuck is HE doing here?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Trash," Ulquiorra muttered.

"You should've seen them earlier! Ichigo was seme!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" Gin asked. Ichigo went over by his dad.

"Er…"

Grimmjow stalked up to Ichigo.

"If that white haired douche bag even looks at my woman I'll kill both of you," he snarled.

"No killing people Grimmjow," Aizen said.

"Yes! Make art, not war!" Maddie cheered.

"But what about psychological warfare?" Gin asked with a pout.

"Well… I'm in an… artistic mood," Maddie replied shyly.

"How about you two make _love_ instead of-"

Nicole's perverted comment was stopped short by a glare from Maddie.

"Okay, let's just not kill each other and get on with our respective vacations, okay?" Chloe demanded. "'Cuz I wanna hit the hot tub!"

"It's a hot _spring_," Nicole corrected.

"Whatever. Let's go!"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yup! So now things get more complicated… but do you all really think that the infamously hot headed Ichigo Kurosaki is going to keep away from five of his worst enemies? Find out… in the next chapter!


	104. Chapter 104: Donsella

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 104: La Donsella

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

We finally got into a hot spring pool thing. I don't really know what they are properly called… it was relatively small, and no one else was in it. The steam was so thick I didn't feel as self conscious about my state of undress. I heard Gin slip into the water and I followed slowly, sighing as the hot water enveloped my body. The water was fairly murky, but I found a rock to sit on, next to Gin. I sighed.

"Ya got that right," Gin agreed, wrapping an arm around my waist. I flushed slightly and rested my head on his shoulder. "Hm… who were those two girls?" I hesitated, and then sighed.

"They're Ichigo's kid sisters," I answered.

"Oh," Gin nodded. "What was with the hesitation?"

"Ah… nothing," I lied.

"Oh, ya think I'm gonna attack 'em now?" Gin cooed in my ear. "Come on, that ain' any fun… an' besides, is Kurosaki as bad 'bout 'is li'l sisters as yer?"

"He's worse. He's got a huge-ass sword to swing around," I replied with a smile. Gin chuckled.

"What's that?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"That flower," Gin clarified, pointing to something white on the other side of the pool. Since my glasses were off, everything just looked like fuzzy blobs to me.

"Hm… what me to get it?" I asked.

"Sure," Gin nodded. I stood up, clutching my white and painfully small towel around my body and began to walk through the murky water.

You see, for some silly reason I thought that the base of this hot spring was fairly even. But as I walked off of a shelf, I realized how wrong I was. I went sprawling into the steaming water with a scream. You see… I can't swim. I never really learned how… and even though I lived on the shore of Lake Michigan, my parents never took me to swimming lessons.

I plunged into the water, desperately looking for something to support me. I couldn't see the bottom however, and this fueled my panic. I thrashed and squirmed, ingesting a heck of a lot of onsen water and dully screaming.

Luckily, I felt a hand grasp my arm and pull me up. I broke the surface, coughing and sputtering.

"Ya okay?" Gin asked. I gripped his arm tightly to make sure I didn't slip back into the murky depths that seemed determined to swallow me up.

"Y-yeah," I muttered, snorting to get water out of my nose. "Damn… you keep having to save me,"

"That's okay," Gin laughed. "I kinda like a damsel in distress,"

"Pfeh," I snorted. "Someday I will be the one saving you,"

"Okay," Gin shrugged, grabbing the white thing and showing it to me. It was a beautiful lily, with light purple streaks coming from its center. "It's pretty, ne?"

"Yeah, it is," I nodded. Gin carefully put it in my hair, and gently kissed me. I kissed him back, and we floated back to shore, secure in each other's arms.

MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWM

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yo! More fluff… I know we just had some Gin rescuing Maddie fluff, but its fun! Anyways… next chapter we get some yaoi. So please review!


	105. Chapter 105: La Ciencia y La Magia

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 105: La Ciencia y La Magia

La Luna (Dakota)

"Aaah…" I sighed and leaned against a rock. Hot water lapped and bubbled around me. The air was thick and steamy. Long fingers teased across my chest. The sun wasn't too bright, and the air smelled like minerals and some kind of lotion.

"Enjoying yourself?" Szayel breathed into my ear. I shivered even though I was in such warm conditions.

"Yeah," I nodded, leaning against the scientist's wet form. His arms curled gently around my waist, teasing the towel that clung to my hips. I whined and shifted and could feel Szayel smirk. He was about to discard the towel when he suddenly stopped.

"What the-?" he wondered quietly. I suddenly had the uneasy feeling that we weren't alone. I strained, and monotonous changing could be heard over the soft burbling of the hot spring. Through the mist I could make out five dark robed individuals standing in the spring.

"Who wears black robes in an onsen?" Szayel wondered. I then realized the lotion I smelled was actually…

"Incense? And candles? What are they chanting?" I asked.

"Latin. It's… I think they're invoking some kind of water related deity," Szayel sighed.

"Culties. I should've known," I muttered. Szayel twitched.

"And now they're trying to communicate with the dead…" he muttered. I burst out laughing. The changing stopped. The leader said something and Szayel froze.

"Just before you started laughing they just asked for a human sacrifice," he hissed.

"Oh fuck," I froze too. Stupid culties!

Four of the guys lunged for Szayel and I. Szayel pulled me out of the way and we scrambled for the rocks. Unfortunately they were really slippery and I lost my balance, tumbling into the water. Szayel jumped back in to grab me.

"Halt in the name of Cepherious, the water god of death!" the head guy shouted. I burst out of the water coughing and sputtering.

"There is no such thing!" I bellowed back.

Big mistake. Note to self: Never EVER denounce the existence of a deity to said deity's cult people. Ever.

"INFIDEL!" all five screamed at once, propelling themselves foreword. We scrambled out of the spring.

"Their reitsus are fluctuating," Szayel remarked.

"They're probably on drugs," I answered as we ran, my limbs becoming numb from air exposure and pine needles stinging my feet.

"They're gaining on us," Szayel added with interest, as if this was all some controlled experiment. Then again to him, it probably was.

"You don't actually believe-"

"Of course not! I'm a man of science! We don't believe in such silly things as ghosts and-" Szayel stopped, realizing that technically speaking, he _was_ a ghost. "Damn,"

"Come on!" I shouted, tugging at Szayel's wrist. The scientist nodded, and we ran like hell.

We found a small, secluded hot spring that was mainly hidden from view and slipped into it, thus cunningly evading the evil culties. Unfortunately in all of the commotion, I lost my towel.

"Damn," I whined.

"Oh I don't mind," Szayel replied with a wicked smirk.

Inuyoshie's unfairly long after the chapter special!

Hallo hallo beautiful people!

Okay, so the story behind this chapter is… for the past few days I have been really behind on my longhand version of B.A. It has gotten to the point in which I have to write the chapter, and then type up this chapter the next day. I've never had this problem before, so when it came to the weekend, I ran into some trouble. You see… I don't write anything on the weekends. So there almost wasn't any Bleached Armageddon today…

But as I was watching Saturday morning cartoons with my little sister and thinking about what excuses I could make, my little sister decided to be a brat and announce that she didn't want to watch this particular cartoon anymore. Since my other options included a not so good version of Iron Man, some religious stuff and SpongeBob Square pants, I was a bitch and turned to National Geographic. (We just got cable, so Mom and I are both enjoying National Geographic in HD… hehe). I got bored of watching Naked Science (insert naked joke here) so I turned to a channel called Investigative Discovery, where they were showing a viewing of A Haunting. Hence the culties. Amusingly, my little sister became terrified of what she saw on TV and curled up next to me, clinging to me even while I tried to use bathroom. And of course, our kitten Hannibal had to get in on the action… so yeah. Big cuddle fest. Then a nummy lunch. Then… inspiration! Szayel and Dakota versus a bunch of culties. And don't think that you have heard the last of the cult of Cepherious yet…

Please review!


	106. Chapter 106: La Hostilidad

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 106: La Hostilidad

La Psitica (Nicole)

"This is so weird!" I complained. "No swimsuits!"

"Huh?" Grimmjow rumbled next to me.

"Swimsuits… ya know, clothing you wear when swimming?" I prodded.

"We live in a desert… do you really think I'd know about something like that?" he demanded.

"Oh yeah… but it still feels weird just wearing a towel," I muttered.

"I don't mind," Grimmjow smirked, yanking me onto his lap.

"Pervert," I complained. "Anyways… we're in public!"

"So?" Grimmjow demanded.

"And… you look weird in your gigai," I added. It was true… I was so used to seeing Grimmjow with a hole in his stomach and bones on his face.

"True," Grimmjow nodded. "It's so weird,"

"Yeah," I nodded. There was sloshing, as if someone else was in the pool. I eased off of Grimmjow and nestled my head on his shoulder.

"Hello?" a familiar voice called out. "Anyone here-"

"Kurosaki!" Grimmjow growled. The orange haired teen blinked.

"Aw man! All the other pools are taken or being cleaned!" Ichigo complained. Grimmjow growled.

"Play nice," I told him.

"Hell no! Fuckin' shinigami-" Grimmjow went to stand up but I stopped him.

"No fighting," I told him. He glared at me.

"Why the fuck not?" Grimmjow demanded.

"You hurt or attempt to hurt Kurosaki and I'll-"

"You'll do what?" Grimmjow sneered.

"No sex for a week," I replied. Ichigo turned bright red.

"I should-"

"What? You couldn't!" Grimmjow snickered.

"A month," I replied coldly. "I'll sleep with Aja,"

"I mean really-"

"You mean the reformed lesbian?" Grimmjow asked slowly, his face paling. I smirked.

"That's right," I replied. Grimmjow grumbled and sat down. I turned to Ichigo.

"Okay Kurosaki, it's safe," I told him. He looked uneasily at me and then nodded, sinking into the water. An awkward silence settled onto the pool.

"So…" I trailed off. "Kill anyone interesting recently?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Ichigo demanded.

"I got a shinigami a few days ago," Grimmjow remarked with a grin.

"She wasn't asking you!" Ichigo exclaimed, his voice becoming slightly twisted. The boy twitched, grabbing his face and swearing.

"What?" I asked.

"It's Hichigo, he won't shut up about you and wants out," Ichigo muttered.

"Aw fuck," I muttered.

"…Maybe… I should leave," Ichigo muttered.

"You do that," Grimmjow muttered. Ichigo sighed and got out of the pool. "Fucking pansy,"

"Now that was mean," I chided Grimmjow.

"No, threatening me with no sex for a week-"

"Month,"

"Fine, month, _that_ was cruel," Grimmjow muttered. I giggled.

"Come now, if I wasn't cruel, would you still like me?" I asked teasingly, kissing him.

"Hmmf true…"

AKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKAAKA

Ichigo's after the chapter special.

Ichigo: Why the hell am I here?

Ichimaru: Hey, she almost wrote my name too…

Ichigo: What the hell? I think she's lost it…

Ichimaru: Yeah… she didn' update yesterday 'cuz she had some internet issues…

Ichigo: Yeah, and she's moping because she couldn't put some video up on YouTube…

Ichimaru: Yeah, it was an awesome one with pictures o' me ta the song 'Murder City' by some band called Green Day…

Ichigo: It was actually pretty cool….

Ichimaru: She's makin' one o' yer an' Aizen too…

Ichigo: WHAAAT! *grabs Zangetsu and goes off to murder Inuyoshie*

Ichimaru: Well ya all, please review an' hope fer Inu's quick recovery!


	107. Chapter 107: Yo Soy El Dios

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 107: Yo Soy El Dios

La Bromista (Aja)

"A cult?" I asked the manager curiously.

"Yeah… they're the cult of Cepherious," the manager explained. "Really crazy people… once every year they come here and try to resurrect their god Cepherious,"

"Okay…" I trailed off, interested. Cults fascinated me.

"We generally discourage tourists from coming around this time of year but your husband there seemed so insistent-"

"Husband?" I blinked. The manager nodded, pointing over to Aizen.

"You should be careful, my wife keeps making eyes at him-"

"HE'S-" before I could protest any more Aizen swished over and covered my mouth with his hand.

"I think we'll be going now," he said smoothly, pulling me over by the hot spring. He then glanced over at me attire.

"You're not going into the hot spring?" he asked curiously. You see, I was wearing a yukata. There was no way in hell I was going into any hot spring occupied by any gender wearing only a towel. It was just indecent! And why did I have to be around Aizen anyway? Not that I minded- he had a killer body- but AAAAArrg!

"Aja?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and shrugged, slipping into the pool.

"Your-"

"There's no way I hell I am only wearing a towel," I grumbled.

"Why not?" Aizen asked.

"Why do you care?" I demanded. "It's not like you've never seen a practically naked woman before, I mean all you have to do is look around Las Noches to find one,"

"You don't like exposing skin…" Aizen remarked.

"What makes you say that?" I exclaimed. Dammit! I hate it when he gets all analysis on me! And I hate it even more when he's right.

"Considering all the times you've complained to me about your uniform showing too much when it's layered like mine," Aizen pointed out. "And the fact that you are unwilling to go into a hot spring only wearing a towel when your other peers do so willingly-"

"Well that's because they are going to be sharing a hot spring with guys they _like_ unlike me," I replied. Oh. Total burn. Aizen sighed.

"Very well," he replied. I walked into the pool, and the skirts of my yukata pooled around my waist.

"Damn… what pool are we in?" I wondered.

That's when I heard the chanting. A grin spread across my face. Aizen walked foreword into the mist. The chanting reached its climax, and the mist cleared. Five black robed men were standing in a circle, and Aizen was standing in the middle of this circle, looking impressive and unfairly hot.

"Is that-"

"It's our god!" Another cultist cried. They all began trembling and bowed to Aizen. He simply quirked an eyebrow.

"Of course I am your god," he replied with a smirk. The other cultists began changing again.

Suddenly, the chanting stopped, and the cultists all looked up at Aizen expectantly. Aizen blinked.

"I think they want you to do something," I remarked.

"I can't use my zanpaktou here," Aizen muttered. The leader twitched.

"So you mean that you _aren't_ Cepherious?" he exclaimed.

"I never said I was…" Aizen replied. The culties began advancing on Aizen with glowing daggers. I sweat dropped, and Aizen dived underwater last minutes to avoid being pincoushined. He resurfaced next to me.

"Foolish humans," Aizen growled.

"Um… they're advancing…" I remarked. "We should leave,"

"Yeah," Aizen nodded. We promptly began to get out of the pool. But the culties were so fast, one of them jumped on me.

"Get off of me!" I shouted, throwing him off with my telekinesis. Aizen grabbed me and held me up.

"They are fast," he remarked. "We'll have to make a run for it,"

"Can't you use kidou?" I demanded.

"I'm in a gigai!" Aizen exclaimed.

"Then take it off!" I yelled at Aizen. He scowled.

"That'll take too long, and I'll have to lug the body around," he exclaimed. "Hurry up1"

I nodded, and we started running. Unfortunately, I wasn't all that fat, and our wet clothes (or in Aizen's case lack thereof) severely hindered us.

"They're still coming!" I exclaimed.

"I noticed," Aizen sighed. "This is sickening,

"Yeah, the great Aizen-sama is being chased by mere humans," I snickered.

"Mocking me isn't helping," Aizen muttered. "Your yukata is weighing you down,"

"What?" I asked.

"Take it off-"

"WHAT?" I screeched.

"Just do it!" Aizen yelled.

"Hell no! It's indecent!" I replied.

"Do you want to die?" Aizen demanded.

"You shouldn't have pretended to be t heir god in the first place!" I exclaimed, dashing into the main building of the hotels attached to the hot springs. Aizen tripped and landed on top of me just s Ichigo wandered in.

"AAAH! I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT!" he cried. " THAT'S IT, I'M GETTING BACK UP!"

With that he rushed out.

"Er… what did he mean by that?" I asked.

"I think I have an idea…" Aizen muttered.

"Okay, but in the meantime GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

UIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUIUI

Byakuya's after the chapter special

Byakuya: Due to fan support, Ichigo now is in the hospital due to gunshot wounds. Ichimaru hid… so now I am required to take on the task of providing the after the chapter special.

Renji: Who knew guns could hurt Soul Reapers…

Byakuya: Indeed.

Renji: And why the hell is your name on the after the chapter special and not mine?

Byakuya: Because I'm your captain.

Renji: Yes but I'm seme-

Byakuya: - Just enjoy the chapter commoners… and hope that Inuyoshie has recovered from her injuries to return.

Renji: And review! Just don't shoot us please…


	108. Chapter 108: Mi Toalla!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 108: Mi Toalla!

El Fuego (Chloe)

I have to say this: Szayel is a genius. (He'd probably agree.)

His gigai for Ulquiorra was perfect! It looked just like him only without the mask and the hole. This meant that Ulquiorra still had the sexy '4' tattoo on his chest, which was revealed when he stepped out of the men's changing room, clad only in a white towel wrapped around his waist. I tried not to squeal, but _damn_ he looked hot!

"Come one come on!" I exclaimed, running over by Ulquiorra and tugging on his wrist.

"What is it?" Ulquiorra sighed as I pulled him over by a hot spring.

"Let's go in this one!" I giggled. It was nice, secluded and nearby some of the bedroom suites. It was surrounded by some kind of flowering bush, maybe dogwood or something, and the petals surrounded us in soft fragrant clouds. Several petals floated on the steamy surface of the small pool. I giggled and twirled on the ground. I teetered and almost fell into the pool, but Ulquiorra caught me at the last second.

"Woman!" he sighed in exasperation.

"Yes?" I asked teasingly.

"You almost fell in," he told me sternly.

"I'd be okay," I grinned again, slipped out of his arms and into the water. It was a little deeper than I thought at this end and water closed over my head.

Now I was a good swimmer, so I got a few seconds' glimpse of what the pool looked like. There was a dark red pentagram inscribed in the bottom of the pool with strange looking runes around it.

"Chloe!" Ulquiorra exclaimed, jumping in. I surfaced and giggled as Ulquiorra struggled to stay afloat. I grabbed him and pulled him over to a bench carved out of rock we could sit on. Once we sat down and were settled, Ulquiorra somewhat sheepishly held up my towel.

"Eep!" I squeaked, reddening. "How'd that happen?"

"Probably when you slipped into the water," Ulquiorra replied, a tone of irritation in his voice.

"Awww… are you mad?" I asked.

"You could've drowned," Ulquiorra hissed.

"I can swim," I replied calmly.

"I can't," Ulquiorra retorted calmly. I blinked.

" Really?" I asked with curiosity.

"Yes," Ulquiorra sighed. "You could've drowned woman,"

I hugged Ulquiorra tightly, not exactly caring about my state of undress even though my face was a flaming red. He blinked, and then hugged me back slowly. I rested my face on his neck. The smooth cool of his skin felt nice against my burning face, and I relaxed. The water was probably so murky that he couldn't see my body anyways. And if he did? Well… then he did.

I casually glanced down and froze. The pentagram I saw was glowing.

FORFITTHEGAMEBEFORESOMEBODYELSETAKESYOUOUTOFTHEFRAMEANDPUTSYOURNAMETOSHAMECOVERUPYOURFACEYOUCAN'TRUNTHERACETHEPACEISTOOFASTYOUJUSTWON'TLAST.

Kenpachi's after the chapter special!

Kenpachi: OKAY, who among the readers is strongest so that-

Ulquiorra: Stupid shinigami trash, you're supposed to talk about the chapter.

Kenpachi: … but it was so boring! Nobody died, and some Ulquiorra guy was too much of a pansy to fuck his woman-

Ulquiorra: *twitches* I'm right here you trash.

Kenpachi: Whatever. And there's some evil pentagram thingi.

*Hanataro wheels in a hospital bed with Inu on it*

Inu: Yo! I'll bet y'all thought there was gonna be a lemon neeeeh? Hehe…

Kenpachi: Come on! Can't there be more violence?

Inu: Dude. Make art, not war.

Kenpachi: Coward! And you call yourself the Authouress of Darkness?

Inu: Dude, I 'm a freakin' sadist! Just ask my characters?

Aja: Yup.

Maddie: Definitely.

Inu: Okay, we gotta cut this short…

*Szayel walks in*

Szayel: I'll take this one…

Inu: NOOOOO SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Szayel wheels poor Inu out to his lab*

Ulquiorra: Well… go off and review human trash.


	109. Chapter 109: La Cena

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 109: La Cena

La Psitica (Nicole)

Everybody was gathered around a dinner table. Lots of delicious food was set before us, much of which I have never seen before. But I, Nicole, fear no food! I took a large helping of what looked like shrimp and some other odd things and took a big bite of it. It tasted okay… like seafood, butter, lemon and garlic.

"Ooh! They have squidly diddlies!" Maddie explained.

"Huh?" I asked, staring at the pile of seafood in front of me.

"Shrimp, clams and squid," Maddie explained. "Looks like they have oysters too."

I blinked at my food.

"Riiiight," I trailed off. "So, did anything interesting happen to you guys?"

"I almost drowned," Maddie announced.

"I almost got sacrificed," Dakota added.

"Heey so did I! Well actually…" Aja glared at Aizen who shrugged.

"They were bowing down and talking about a god, how was I supposed to know they weren't talking about me?" Aizen wanted to know.

"Only you…" Aja sighed, shaking her head.

"So what's up with the whole human sacrifices and such?" Chloe asked.

"There's a cult here," Aja explained.

"They worship some god of water and death… Cepher-something," Dakota explained.

"Cepherious," Aja corrected.

"Yeah, that," Dakota shrugged.

"That's not good," Chloe remarked, poking her tako.

"So in other words, there's a bunch o' weirdies runnin' around an' killin' people ta raise some funky god thing?" Gin asked.

"Looks like it," I nodded.

"Frickin' culties," Dakota muttered.

"Magic," Szayel muttered. Something suddenly occurred to me.

"You know, an uneducated person may say that science is magic," I pointed out blandly, examining my fingernails. "So couldn't a highly educated person say that magic is just another form of science?"

"She has a point. Like kidou can be considered magic, but I'm sure the scientists in the Soul Society have figured out a way to break it down into a science," Maddie added.

"So what you're suggesting is that I approach these rituals as if they A. worked and B. were just another form of science?" Szayel demanded.

"They at least do something for the cultists' speed and strength," Aizen remarked. "That could be dangerous to us in our current forms,"

"So tonight we ditch the gigais. Got it," Grimmjow nodded. "Sex is so bland with them on anyways-"I promptly stepped on Grimmjow's bare foot.

"So I should study these cultists?" Szayel asked.

"Ya weren't before?" Gin replied. Dakota shook his head.

"Nope. HE and I were doing a _different_ kind of research," he said smugly.

"Biology?" Aja asked.

"Nah, more like anatomy," Dakota corrected.

"Jeez, how many innuendos can we make in one dinner conversation?" Grimmjow demanded.

"You're just as bad Grimm-kitty," Aja countered.

"Watch it Blondie!" Grimmjow snarled.

"Alright alright," Aizen announced coldly, and a silence fell across the table. This silence lasted until the end of dinner, when Grimmjow stood up determinedly, scooped me up in his arms and without uttering a word stalked off to our bedroom.

Ay… men.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

I'm back! Hahaaa!

Thank you to all of my loyal fans who were concerned about my welfare, but for once Szayel didn't act like a crazy scientist and turn me into a cyborg or something… although he did offer.

Szayel: You'd get your updates done faster-

Inu: Er… I like being biological. The whole part machine thing is cool for one of my OCs, but not for me.

Szayel: Ah, such a spoilsport…

Inu: So anyways… I have some bad news though. School will be starting soon for me and that means things are gonna get hectic in mah life. So, the updates may be a little slow for the first month or so… I will try and update every other day, but no promises… sorry! Once I have my schedule down, and an idea of which teachers are cool with me writing during their classes, I'll get back up on mah updating. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the three days of vacation left (one of which is my birthday! It's on Sunday…) and read some reviews?


	110. Chapter 110: La Confesion

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 110: La Confesión

La Bromista (Aja)

I was walking to my room. Actually our room, seeing that I shared it with Aizen. Luckily we had spate futons. I can't imagine sleeping with that bastard.

This bastard was following me silently. I stopped in front of my-our-room and slid the door open. What I saw shocked me

One of the cultists from earlier was in our room, covered in blood. Red stains were splattered all around one side of the room, and a butchered pig lay on a futon. My futon, to be exact.

"YOU BASTARD!" I screeched, running at him. The cultist panicked and ran out, jumping out our window. "DAMMIT!"

"This doesn't look good," Aizen remarked, glancing at my ruined futon.

"No shit Sherlock," I muttered, pacing. "I can't sleep on that1 I guess I'll have to sleep on the floor," I muttered.

"You could sleep on my futon," Aizen suggested.

"Then where are you going to sleep?" I demanded.

"On my futon," Aizen replied simply.

"No." I told him coldly.

"Yes." Aizen replied.

"No." I frowned stubbornly.

"Do I have to cast a binding kidou on you?" he threatened.

"Why are you so hot pressed to sleep with me?" I demanded.

"Because I love-" Aizen stopped.

I was frozen.

We just stared at each other.

Seconds…

…Felt like hours….

A long silence stretched between us. I finally coughed.

"I'll clean this up," I muttered, shoving the troublesome futon into a corner. Luckily my clothes were safe, although a few had little red speckles on them.

I wasn't focused on them.

Did he just…?

No.

This was Souske Aizen, the god of Las Noches, the lady-killer. Literally.

He can't have fallen for me.

No.

Not true. Impossible. Improbable. Unlikely. Unfeasible. Not gonna happen sister, don't even entertain the thought in your head.

It would be nice if it was true… but it's not.

I ran out of things to do. I was even in my nightgown by now. I stared helplessly at my duffel bag.

I felt someone sit down next to me. It was Aizen.

"You're not in your gigai," I noted.

"That cultist could come back. I dislike being helpless," Aizen replied, a hand resting on the hilt of his zanpaktou.

"Ah," I nodded.

"About before-"

"It's fine," I cut him off. "Just a misunderstanding I took the wrong way,"

Aizen turned me so that I was facing him and forced my chin up so that our eyes met.

"It was not a misunderstanding," he said softly. I blinked my mind spinning.

"S-so you-"

"Yes."

"And you actually-"

"Yes."

"But it's … it's so… so cheesy!" I exclaimed, jumping up and hugging Aizen. He blinked, rocking back slightly.

"That's' good?"He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded, giggling. I felt Aizen's arms cult around my waist and he picked me up.

"Good," he replied, carrying me over to the futon and laying down.

It was so weird. I never thought this would happen. Not to me, not with… Souske Aizen. But yet here I am, sleeping comfortably with the undisputed soon to be ruler of the world.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Is mah birthday… so here have some AizenXAja fluff. My words for this chapter… IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In fact, if I did not have a younger sister supposedly sleeping next door I would scream that.

Speaking of younger sisters, I've been showing her Bleach, and now she's obsessed. At church this morning, on those little slips of paper that you write your name on if you're going to have communion and hand in during the offering Sophie wrote 'Aizen' and 'Momo' all over the lines. It was almost cute… she's totally obsessed with the two.

Anyways… please review?


	111. Chapter 111: La Quemadura

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 111: La Quemadura

Note: This chapter contains a lemon. If you read this and cringe, DON'T READ THIS! I won't think any less of you if you do so. With this warning, let us proceed!

El Fuego (Chloe)

"Come one please!" I begged.

"Woman…" Ulquiorra frowned.

"Just for a little bit!" I whined. Ulquiorra sighed, leaning against a wall.

"Those human trash might be out there," he remarked.

"Ul~qui~o~rra!" I whined, dragging out each syllable. "AS long as you're out of your gigai we'll be fine!" Ulquiorra closed his gorgeous eyes and sighed.

"Fine. Woman, undress," he said. I squealed happily and dashed off to the bathroom. I came back wearing only a towel, and Ulquiorra was in similar attire. I squealed again and leaped on him. There was a click, and we fell out of our room. Behind our room was our very own hot spring!

"Secret door," I remarked.

"It's the one from earlier," Ulquiorra added.

"Yaay!" I grinned, getting off of Ulquiorra and slipping into the water. I moaned happily as it swished up my legs and I walked in the shallower regions until I found a nice ledge to sit on. Ulquiorra slid in next to me. I leaned against him with a sigh. He wrapped a protective arm around my waist and I twisted up so I could kiss him. Unfortunately this meant that I had to straddle him to do so, but I didn't really care. Oddly Ulquiorra took charge this time, mashing his mouth against mine. It was weird but I liked it. I pressed myself closer to him, and Ulquiorra drew back slightly.

"Woman," he hissed over my lips. "You don't want to do this,"

I blinked, and then realized that there was an uncomfortable lump between my legs. I felt my face heat up and went back to kissing Ulquiorra.

"Silly Ulqui," I whispered back, tracing the four on his chest.

"Silly woman," he growled. The next thing I knew I was out of the water, pressed against a large rock and my towel was gone. Ulquiorra had me pinned, his arms bent by my head so that the upper part was against the rock.

"Aggressive," I whispered satisfactorily. I felt hot all over as Ulquiorra pushed up against me, his mouth all over. This was weird… I vaguely noticed a soft green fire engulfing us and grinned, jerking my hips against his. Ulquiorra let out a growl of approval.

Ulquiorra took in a breath and I felt white hot pain run through my body. I screamed and everything became engulfed in heat. We were both very still, and I realized that the soft green flames had solidified. They died down as the pain ebbed, being replaced by a burning need.

"Move," I hissed. Ulquiorra complied, thrusting his hips forward. I did the same and we moved in perfect harmony, the flames licking higher with each thrust. It was all quiet either: Ulquiorra let out soft grunts and groans that vibrated through my body and I let out more of a high pitched squeak. We finally came, and Ulquiorra stepped back. I stood, feeling weirdly hyper… almost energized.

"Wow…" I mumbled. Ulquiorra scooped me up and we slid back into the water. IT felt comparatively cool.

"Chloe…" Ulquiorra murmured into my ear, causing me to shiver. "Did I hurt you?"

"You're such a gentleman," I replied with a giggle. "I feel great!"

"You were on fire," Ulquiorra commented.

"You were aggressive," I retorted.

"True," Ulquiorra nodded. I kissed his dark lips softly.

"Love you," I whispered.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

So many typos! Aarg… that's always how lemons are. I kept on spelling Ulquiorra 'Ulquioarra' Dunno why…

Anyways… I had to get this written before school started to avoid awkwardness with my new teachers. I hope it wasn't too horrible…


	112. Chapter 112: Necisito un palo grande

After a long wait… Bleached Armageddon!

By Inuyoshie

I don't own Bleach in any way, shape or form. Don't sue me. Please. I'll make you all cookies…

Chapter 112: Necisito un Palo Grande!

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

It's all my fault.

You see… I fell asleep early. I woke up about half an hour later hearing some creaking of wood and glimpsed several hooded figures making off with Gin's unconscious body.

"NO!" I screamed, getting up and trying to jump one of them. But… they were gone.

My heart was pounding. Gin was still in his gigai, and out like a light (or he would've fought back). Panicking, I went to the person I knew knew about these culties: Dakota.

I just hoped he wasn't… er… _busy_ with Szayel.

Luck was on my side. After shyly knocking, Dakota answered.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Ineedyourhelpginsbeenkidnappedwhaddoido?" I demanded.

"Woah, slow down. What?" Dakota asked.

"Gin. Kidnapped. Culties. HELP!" I told him.

"Oh," Dakota nodded, as if it was all going to be okay. "They're probably just going to sacrifice him-"

"WHAT?" I screeched.

"We'll have to intercept them!" Dakota finished.

"No we don't," Szayel remarked from within the room.

"Why not? They'll kill him!" I squeaked.

"No they won't. Ichimaru used to be a captain. A bunch of –"

"We're rescuing him. If you're not coming, I'll do it myself," I announced steelily. "I'll need a big stick,"

"You're a pacifist, and outnumbered," Szayel pointed out.

"I'll get help," I replied.

"Yeah who?" Szayel demanded. "Nicole and Chloe are currently occupied, as is Dakota-"

"Wait, I am?" Dakota asked.

"Yes you are," Szayel announced. I sighed.

"Fine. I'll get Aja. And a big stick." I frowned, stomping out. Dakota followed, and I stopped at Aja's door, knocking on it. The door slid open, and Aja stood, looking like a zombie.

"You woke me up… oh hi," Aja greeted me tiredly.

"Gin's been kidnapped by culties," I announced.

"They sacrificed my futon," Aja added.

"But if they took Gin, why aren't they dead?" Aizen asked.

"They KO-ed him," I replied anxiously.

"What?" Aizen asked.

"Knocked out," Aja hissed.

"Oh,"

"-And they're going to sacrifice him!" I exclaimed. "I need a stick,"

"A stick?" Aja asked, smirking.

"Yes. A stick," I replied defensively.

"You're going against a bunch of culties armed with a stick?" Aja demanded.

"Well, and you. That will help my odds," I added.

"Who needs a stick… when you've got Aizen!" Aja asked dramatically. Aizen frowned.

"Gin can take care of himself. I'm going back to sleep," Aizen replied sleepily, retreating back into the room.

"You're going to need a stick," Aja announced.

STICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICKSTICK

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, I'm sorry about the wait. I had school. Lots of it. And homework. NOT FUN. So yeah…

This arc I did not see coming, but just one thing lead to another and… well… here we are.

Review?


	113. Chapter 113: Mas Sangre

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 113: Mas Sangre

La Bromista (Aja)

"Ashi? You okay?"

"Huh?" I blinked. Maddie sighed.

"You're kinda… out of it," she told me.

"Oh. Yeah." I nodded. "It's… uh… complicated,"

"Explain later. Oh, by the way… thanks for the stick," Maddie nodded, swinging the large stick (it used to be a curtain rod) appreciatively. Dakota and I had sticks too. Dakota sniffed the air and froze.

"Incense. We're close," he said dramatically.

"Right," I nodded as we crept behind some bushes. Several hooded people stood in a circle. There was a large altar in the center, surrounded by burning urns. Gin lay tied to the altar, groggily shaking his head. His hair was stained from blood from a blow to his head. The culties changed loudly, dancing around Gin.

"Should we-"

"Not yet," I told Dakota.

The leader walked foreword, a curved knife raised above his head.

"Now?" Maddie hissed desperately.

"Not yet," I told her.

The knife flashed down. Blood sprayed.

"SCREW THIS!" Maddie roared, leaping out of the bushes, her big stick in hand. She swung wildly, knocking several culties aside. I stepped out, as did Dakota. The culties hissed and shuffled, unsure as what to do. Maddie continued to swing her stick, hitting people painfully in the shin and stomach. Gin cheered her on, letting us know that he was still alive. I dashed through the hold of culties Maddie walked away and saw that Gin's blood was flowing in a slow, deliberate pentagram.

"That can't be good," I murmured.

"YES! THE CEREMONY IS COMPLETE!" the leader boomed.

"What ceremony?" I asked.

"To resurrect our God… and not that other guy," the leader muttered.

"You have no god." I replied. I LOVE messing with ANY religious person!

"Yes we do!" the Leader (Kinda like Pein but lamer) insisted.

"Have you ever summoned him?" I demanded. The leader looked about shiftily.

"…Maybe…" he muttered.

"You've never done this before, have you?" I demanded.

"…no…" he mumbled sheepishly.

"Great," I muttered. Within several nearby hot springs, pentagrams began glowing. The ground underneath us rumbled, and sloshing noises could be heard. The smell of decomposing flesh filled the air.

"IT's official: I. HATE. CULTIES!" Dakota roared as zombies began to rise from the hot springs.

I blinked, stared at my stick and frowned.

"Yeah… we're fucked,"

BRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINSBRAINS

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

ZOMBEH TIME!

Yeah.

There are now zombies.

This story is officially crazy. It's borderline crack. I hope not too many people here are bothered by the crack-y ness… but these next few chapters will be amazing. I actually did some research on how to kill a zombie, and there was this mini war between my mom and several of my friends on how to kill zombies. Mom says fire; my friends say a bullet to the head. You'll see which method I use, but suggestions would be much appreciated.

As for a hint for next chapter… well… we'll find out what happens when zombies interrupt sex.


	114. Chapter 114: Cuchillo de Carnicero

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 114: Cuchillo de Carnicero

El Dios (Aizen)

Why did Aja go? Couldn't she have stayed… considering what I just recently confided in her… yes, I would've preferred that she stay. Gin's a powerful and talented man… Maddie was merely overreacting.

I settled down in our futon, sighing. Silly Aja. Gin will get himself out.

AS I began to relax, I felt a strange shaking of the ground.

"An earthquake?" I wondered, opening my eyes. I heard footsteps thunder past my door and pound on it. Lazily I rose and answered the door. Two frightened young girls stood there, breathing heavily.

"You-!" the black haired girl gasped. "You're one of those Shinigami people!"

"Aaah, in a way," I nodded again, blinking. "You're…?"

"Kurosaki Karin," she answered.

"Th-they're coming!" the blonde shrieked, clinging to Karin. I blinked and looked down the hall. Misshapen shambling dead people were approaching. Not normal hollow/whole dead people, but the rotting groaning kind that want to eat your brains. I slipped out of my room and locked the door.

"I think we should leave," I remarked.

"No duh! God you Shinigami people are freakin' stupid!" Karin growled. I twitched, but we ran.

We stopped at Szayel's room to find him trying to dissect one of the zombies while its body parts were trying to eat him.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Science," Szayel replied.

"Where's Dakota?" I asked.

"Off smashing culties with Maddie armed with a big stick… assumed she has one," Szayel answered. "The chances of that are high considering how heavily wooded the area is,"

"Yeah… she has Aja too," I nodded.

"Oh dear," Szayel remarked, observing the zombies. "But my question is… where are they coming from? What is powering them? Why are they attacking us? Why aren't' they attacking each other? Why _brains?_

Oh dear. Szayel's gone all crazy scientist again.

"FOCUS!" Karin yelled. Szayel stared at Karin and she stared back at him. "I was WOKEN UP by ZOMBIES and I can't find my brother who has a BIG ASS MEAT CLEAVER and can **KILL** the zombies and UNTIL WE FIND HIM we are staying with you **SO FOCUS DAMMIT!" **

Szayel blinked. I blinked. The blonde girl blinked.

"Alright then. Let's go find these cultists," I announced. Hopefully we can find Kurosaki quickly so that he can take his brat sisters away before I kill them and get Aja all annoyed with me.

And so we ran. I sliced up a few zombies, Szayel ceroed a few and we both got weird looks from the blonde girl. Karin had a baseball bat and was bashing heads as she went. She's surprisingly strong… if she wasn't such a brat I might have considered recruiting her.

We made it outside alive and ran into Ulquiorra and Chloe. They were clad in wet towels and Chloe was limping, yet grinning.

"Hey! We're being attacked by zombies!" she greeted us cheerfully.

"Trash," Ulquiorra muttered in a more vicious tone than usual.

"They interrupted us," Chloe explained in a heated whisper. I blinked, and Chloe sighed, rolling her eyes. "Never mind," she giggled. A nearby zombie burst into pink sparkly flames (how flames can sparkle I don't' know).

We then took off, searching for the culties.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yo Yo Yo mah peeps! 'Sup?

Ayah, I'm in a weird mood. So phear meh!

Indeed. So the zombie arc is halfway done. The next two chapters will finish it up, 'cuz my friends are getting sick of zombies.

Are you all?

Please review…


	115. Chapter 115: Nos Volvimos Locos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 115: Nos Volvimos Locos

La Luna (Dakota)

"DIE!" I shouted dramatically, swinging my rod. It bounced off the zombie's head. "FUCK!"

"Ashi? How the hell do we kill them?" Maddie demanded, sounding panicked.

"Hello~? Can someone untie me?" Gin asked from the altar.

"Somebody give me a shotgun!" Aja shouted loudly.

"Or some kind of a weapon," Maddie added, acting less violent.

What we got was Grimmjow, Nicole and Ichigo, swinging their respective swords.

"Fuck yes!" Nicole howled in true Nicole fashion, beheading a zombie.

"What the hell is up with this/" Grimmjow asked, slicing up another zombie.

"It's like we're in one of those zombie flicks," Ichigo added. Maddie stopped.

"That's it!" she exclaimed. "Aja!"

" What?" Aja asked, poking an eye out of a zombie with her stick.

"You've seen a helluva lot of zombie movies," Maddie explained.

"True. Like I said before, someone get me a gun," Aja announced.

"Why you? I'm the one who can shoot one!" Nicole exclaimed.

"But I'm the crazy one," Aja defended.

"No I am1" Nicole shot back.

"Well if you're crazy, then you shouldn't get a gun-"

"Hello, zombies trying to eat us!" I broke them up.

"You know what we could use right now?" Maddie announced. "Aizen,"

"Cero."

A huge green beam incinerated a large group of zombies. I saw Ulquiorra, Chloe, Szayel, Aizen and some little girls come in.

"Speak of the devil!" Aja cried. "Hey Aizen, can I have you sword?"

"No," Aizen replied, looking around. Aja pouted, bashing another zombie.

"Please?" she whined.

"No," Aizen repeated. Aja sighed.

"Fine. I suppose you want me to die huh? Okay fine," Aja muttered. "I'll just go get Grimmjow to kill me. Or become a zombie,"

"Aja… "Aizen growled, chanting some weird spell thing to make all the zombies go boom. I stuck by Szayel, whacking zombies.

"Hell, they just keep coming!" I growled.

"Well, the good thing is, things can't get any worse," Maddie remarked.

…

That's about when the shinigami showed up.

CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~CHAPTEREND~

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yo!

So yeah… now things are going from bad to worse.

Sorry if my Spanish on the title was off… I got a verb and conjugated it. It's supposed to mean 'We go bananas' or something along those lines. I dunno. I apologize for mah suckiness.

Indeed, so next chapter, the zombie holocaust is resolved. That doesn't mean all of our five protagonists' problems are solved, but at least some of the undead ones are.

Please review?


	116. Chapter 116: El Callejon

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. So don't send yer lawyers after me… they're scarier than zombies… or fan girls… or zombie fan girls… *hides behind a bunch of Hellsing graphic (literally) novels* yeah…

Chapter 116: El Callejón

La Psíquica (Nicole)

Okay so just beheading the zombies wasn't working. We had to destroy their freakin' grey matter. That's harder than you'd think, especially for me. I mean, Grimmjow can just cero the bitches into oblivion, but I can't. Then, Maddie jinxed us.

"Well, the good thing is, things can't get any worse," she said.

Then, a bunch of shinigami showed up.

"YES!" Ichigo cheered.

They were weird. I recognized Kenpachi (the weirdie) and saw a freaky looking guy who had to by Mayuri. I also recognized a bunch of the guys from squad 11. There was a short guy and a black haired guy I didn't know.

"Holy-" Maddie sputtered.

"Reinforcements," I heard Szayel remark. I could've sworn I heard Aizen say 'shit' under his breath.

"NNuugh brains," a zombie announced. I began viciously stabbing it in the brains with my sword.

"You know what? Fuck this! Every man for himself!" Grimmjow announced ceroing a bunch of zombies.

The fighting went on, and on, and on. I was starting to get tired. I mean, seriously, I was supposed to be sleeping right now! Rawr!

But in my haze, I noticed that little blonde girl running towards the leader of the culties, who remained hidden. They knocked into each other, and the leader fell over, unconscious. All of the zombies, stiffened, and then fell to the ground, dead again.

"They're… dead," Ichigo said dazedly.

"Again," Chloe giggled. I twitched.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT'S IT?" I demanded. "NO BURNING, NO GUNS, NO **NOTHING?**"

"Pretty much," Aja nodded.

"Finally," Aizen added.

"Can someone please untie me?" Gin demanded.

"Oh yeah," Maddie nodded, and ran over to untie him from the altar. "Hah! Now I have saved you! I win!"

"Yeah, but now yer all covered in zombie guts," Gin pointed out with a wide grin. "I'll have ta give yer a bath-"

"Not in public! Reformed lesbian over here!" Aja cut Gin off.

"Wait, did he just mean… you two are… _together?_" Ichigo stared.

"Oh my God that's just wrong," the short guy muttered before fainting.

"Yup, she's mine. Touch 'er an' die," Gin grinned cheerfully. Maddie flushed.

"We'd should really clean up," she remarked.

"Yeah, so we can go back to our hot spring," Chloe added suggestively.

"What's with all the sexual innuendos?" Aja demanded.

"No innuendos here. After this place is cleaned up, I'm gonna fuck my woman 'till she can't see straight," Grimmjow announced.

"No you're not," I replied coldly.

"Ooooh! Shut down!" Chloe, Aja, Maddie, Dakota and Yumichika grinned.

"Why not?" Grimmjow wanted to know.

"I'm sore and tired. Suck it up," I told him shortly. "In fact, screw this. I'm going to bed,"

And so I did.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yo!

So yeah… the zombies are gone. Sorry if it seemed anti-climatic, but it was going on too long. So says I. And so… one dead problem is solved. Now for the other dead problem… hehe…


	117. Chapter 117: La Venganeza

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 117: La Venganza parte Uno

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

So Nicole left, Gin was saved and we had a mess on our hands.

It turns out that the guy who owned the hot spring was the leader of the culties. We tied him to a tree to make sure on more zombies were raised.

"And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!" he snarled.

"…"

"Wow… that was… interesting…" I remarked.

"You know, we're not kids," Aja complained. "We're angstful teenagers. Get it right!"

"Indeed," Dakota added, staring at Mayuri and Szayel, who were hunting for zombie corpses. Szayel grabbed something, and Mayuri grabbed something. When they held it up, they realized that they were holding the same corpse.

"Oh I remember you… you're that arrancar… whose name escapes me…" Mayuri remarked. Szayel twitched. Dakota twitched.

"You!" they said at exactly the same time.

"Ah yes, now it's coming back to me… you're the Octavo Espada-"

"It's OCTA-VA! Get your Spanish right!" I interrupted. Make your nouns and adjectives agree dammit. Mayuri glared at me and I glared right back. "I'm not even that good at Spanish, but even a first year could tell you that!"

"You fail!" Dakota added. Mayuri gritted his teeth.

"Last time I saw you, you were laying on a bed moaning, so don't you tell me that I fail," Mayuri smirked. Dakota twitched, getting The Look in his eye. You know, that look when he catches you shredding his Death Note books? The look that makes him look like he has no soul? Yeah… that look. I backed away.

"Okay, let's keep it a clean fight, no hits below the belt and GO!" Aja announced. Szayel twitched and drew his sword. Mayuri drew his as well, and released it. Yeah… that thing with the ugly dead baby on it. Ew.

Anyways, Dakota calmly stood in front of Mayuri, no emotion on his face. Mayuri shishkabobed hi, but the sword phased through Dakota. Dakota grabbed the zanpaktou out of Mayuri's hands and coldly stabbed him with it. Mayuri's eyes widened and he turned into green goo.

"Damn you…" he hissed, slithering off.

"Ew," Dakota said coldly. "Is he dead?"

"NO, he'll just be goo for the next three days," Aja told him.

"Damn," Dakota muttered, kinda calming down. "I wish I had a Death Note… Szayel, could you make me a Death Note with the power of Science?"

"I'll try," Szayel replied, awkwardly sheathing his sword.

To be continued….

ATCS!

Yeah… so that's a crappy ending… but it had to be done. This chappie needed to be split into two… so yeah.


	118. Chapter 118: La Venganeza parte dos

Bleached Armageddon Lives!

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 118: La Venganza parte dos

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

"What are you doing here Aizen?" Byakuya demanded angrily of Aizen. The man shrugged.

"Relaxing," he replied. Aja yawned.

"I'm tired… I'm hitting the sack," she announced.

"Wa~ait!" I exclaimed, walking over by her. "What is it that you were all worried about earlier?"

"Ah… well," Aja blushed, looking away. "I'll tell you later,"

"Unfair!" I shot back. "Tell me now,"

"Yer impatient, ain' yer?" gin remarked in my ear, making me jump.

"AIE!" I squeaked. Toshiro (who had just woken up) stared at us and then fainted again. Byakuya and Ulquiorra were staring at each other murderously. Grimmjow and Kenpachi looked like they wanted to rip each other's throats out. This was unacceptable.

"Yo!" I yelled. "Everybody calm the fuck down!"

"How do you expect us to do that/"

"Trash,"

"Commoner,"

"Fuck that!"

"IF you don't all calm down, I'll give Aja coffee," I threatened.

"Ooh! Coffee?" Aja chirped.

"How bad can _that_ be?" Byakuya wanted to know.

"50% sugar and milk," I added. "A a whole two liters of it,"

"IF I were you, I'd do what the young lady says," Aizen advised a knowing smirk on his face.

"Doitdoitdoitdoit!" Aja chanted hyperly. I grinned.

"Dudes, this is how she gets at the mere mention of coffee. Imagine if she ever drank any?" I announced. I swear they all turned several shades lighter.

"… Fine, we'll behave," Byakuya muttered.

"This is fucking boring… I wanna fight someone," Kenpachi complained.

"Yeah," Ikkaku agreed. I face palmed.

"Ano… where is Kurotsuchi-taichou?" Nemu wondered.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry for the wait! Really, I am!

Aizen: Yeah right.

Inu: Fuck off maan! I've been having issues! Like emotional breakdowns, coming down with the teen ick, lotsa lotsa homework and other crap. So yeah. I'm legit.

Aizen: She's working on the next main Bleach fanfic too.

Inu: Shuuush! No one's supposed ta know about that one!

Aizen: It's got me in it. *grins*

Inu: Shaadup! Anyways… reviews?


	119. Chapter 119: La Mujer Mia parte 1

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 119: La Mujer Mia parte 1

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

"Trash," I announced.

"Yes Ulquiorra, that's a trash bin," Chloe answered. I sighed.

"No," I told her, glaring at Byakuya Kuchki, that pathetic shinigami. He was traipsing about, all high and proper with that scarf floating in the wind and those napkin things in his hair…

"Hello~?" Chloe asked, waving a hand in front of my face. "WE need to get dressed,"

"Yes," I nodded. I didn't like the thought of that trash seeing what was mine. Because indeed, Byakuya seemed to sneak looks at Chloe when he thought I wasn't looking. I pulled her into our room and sighed.

"Why is that trash looking at you?" I wanted to know.

"Which trash?" Chloe asked innocently. I gave her a look. "No really, you call everybody trash,"

"That Byakuya thing," I clarified disdainfully.

"Oh him," Chloe nodded. "I think he has the hots for me," I frowned even more.

"I see… would you-"

"HI RENJI!" Chloe burst you. Some red haired guy ogled at Chloe from outside.

"Hey Chloe-"

"I'd love to talk, but I gotta put some clothes on dude," Chloe told him, closing the window. "Talk ta ya later!"

I simply stared after her as she got dressed, unsure as what to say.

She's human. I'm arrancar. He's a shinigami. When it really comes down to it, a human should have her. But all humans are trash. The next best thing would be a shinigami. But all shinigami are trash. So an arrancar… but arrancar were originally hollows that eat humans, and shinigami protect humans but shinigami aren't allowed to have human lovers… this was confusing. And annoying. I got dressed and stalked outside into the human world. I overheard the wife of one of those culties scolding her husband for resurrecting the dead, and then him scolding her for hitting on Lord Aizen. Trash. I saw that Ichigo boy fighting with a muscular shinigami. Trash. I saw Grimmjow sulking outside his room. Trash. I could hear that Byakuya talking- wait.

"You dropped your towel, Chloe," he said softly.

"Why thank you Byakuya," Chloe replied cheerfully. I peered into the bushes and saw them standing next to each other.

"Are you alright?" Byakuya asked.

"Oh, I'm okay!" Chloe assured him. "How about you?" Byakuya blinked, caught off guard. Hah stupid trash.

"I'm… fine," he replied, sighing.

"Hum… well, I'll talk to you later!" Chloe grinned, skipping off. I frowned, vowing to re-capture my woman's heart.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCXCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry for the wait. I really have no excuse.

Aizen: She cheated on us!

Gin: Yeah!

Szayel: Tsk tsk.

Inu: Yeah, for a while I went to the dark side and got re-acquainted with Yu-gi-oh!. Yeah… I was raised on the 4Kids crap. But now I'm better. And I'm writing stuff. So indeed. Please review?


	120. Chapter 120: La Mujer Mia parte 2

Bleached Armageddon Lives!

Chapter 120: La Mujer Mia parte 2

La Psíquica (Nicole the ever-violent)

I happened to be passing by the main courtyard when I came across one of my favourite things to watch: a man fight.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a manfight! In one corner is the Lord of Stuck-up Prickness, Byakuya Kuchki! And in the other corner is the defending Champion, the Emo Lap Dog of Aizen, and Ulquiorra Schiffer!

I _really_ hope I didn't just say that out loud…

"So what is it that _you_ want _arrancar_?" Byakuya questioned coolly.

"Nothing much, I don't want to waste my time on _Shinigami trash_," Ulquiorra replied. Byakuya arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow. (Seriously, how else could he get them so… not manly?)

"Then get on with it arrancar," he replied. "What is it?"

"You know full well what it is," Ulquiorra replied.

"Do I?" Byakuya asked coyly. Oh hell yes, he know. Wow…

"Stay away from my woman," Ulquiorra stated.

"You mean Chloe," Byakuya asked. "How can an arrancar like you have Chloe as 'your woman'? She deserves better than that,"

"I'd hardly say you'd be any better," Ulquiorra retorted.

"Oh? What can you give her? Death? Destruction? The only reason she's still around is probably for Aizen's purposes," Byakuya sneered. "I can make sure she's well taken care of," Wow, that was a rubber band to the testicles.

"You think Chloe needs someone to 'take care of' her?" Ulquiorra demanded.

"Of course! You don't," Byakuya replied coldly. "And you call yourself a man,"

Oh snap. It is _ON!_

"I'm more of one than you are," Ulquiorra retorted.

"Really, I-"

"Hold on hold on," I interrupted, stepping into view. They both glared at me. "There's only one way to determine which one of you is manlier,"

"And that is?" Byakuya asked.

"You gotta compare 'em. Whose ever is bigger is manlier," I explained calmly, as if it was common sense. They started at each other. The two men maintained eye contact for a few minutes and nodded.

"Fine. You just can't look," Ulquiorra told me. Huh?

"…okay," I replied, turning around. I heard the rustling of hakma and paled. …Dude, I meant their _swords!_ Er… I mean the metal ones! Not their… ya know…

Aizen walked by and stuck his head in. He raised an eyebrow and sighed.

"Mine's bigger," He announced casually, walking off.

"**I DID **_**NOT**_** NEED TO KNOW THAT!"**I shouted.

"Need to know what?" Chloe asked innocently, sticking her head in. She stopped.

"What are you two doing?"

"They're comparing," I replied in a remarkably calm voice, turning around and covering my eyes.

"Seriously?" Chloe replied, sounding annoyed. "Why are you guys pant less?"

"Ah, well…" Byakuya sounded embarrassed.

"Chloe is my woman," Ulquiorra announced.

"Well yeah, I knew that, you didn't have to take your pants off to prove that point," Chloe replied.

"Ah… I should leave," Byakuya muttered, dashing off.

"Okay!" Chloe giggled.

"Yes," I nodded. "NOW PUT SOME FUCKING PANTS ON!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aizen's after the chapter special

Aizen: I'm covering for Inuyoshie because she's hiding in a closet with her kitten.

Gin: Yup. She's scared o' her reviewers 'cuz she hasn't been updatin' an' all.

Aizen: It is true, but there have been some reasons for this. She hasn't been writing as much in Bleached Armageddon… for complicated reasons.

Inu: Look, it's like this. My fanfiction is my way of dealing with stress. Recently I have been under a helluva lot of stress, and this has caused me to think violently. Due to this, I have been writing in a more emo story to help alleviate this.

Gin: Yup! It's really emo, and it's got Aizen in it! And me! And I look through the OC's panty drawers!

Inu: Because you would.

Aizen: *sighs* so yes. But Inuyoshie is going to be posting on a more… sensible schedule, _right_?

Gin: _Right?_

Aja: _Right?_

Kenpachi: _Right?_

Gin: Uh… how the held yer get here?

Inu: Good question. I will. Or at least I'll try. And as a side note: Whoever voice acts Szayel in the English dub is a sexy beast.

Szayel: That is because I _am_ a sexy beast.

Inu: True: now… review?


	121. Chapter 121: El Preludio

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: Inuyoshie does not own Bleach. So don't sue me.

Chapter 121: El Preludio

La Sonrisa (Gin, the ninja of stalkerness)

Warm.

"Ah… Ichimaru-san…"

Yeah, warmth. Keep the warmth close… but it's so wiggly…

"Ichimaru-san…"

I don't wanna get up! I'm warm, and comfortable!

"Ichimaru-saaan," the voice persisted. I looked down casually and saw Maddie lying next to me, her face bright red as I pressed her against my side.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You're hugging me," she replied.

"Yep," I grinned. Maddie sighed.

"What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"Why do ya wanna know?" I wanted to know.

"Because I'm OCD about it," Maddie replied. It was true. "I have a feeling it's late,"

"So? We're on vacation," I replied, lazily playing with her hair.

"Idle hands are the tools of the devil," Maddie retorted.

"I'm already the tool o' the devil," I retorted. Maddie giggled. "Besides, they ain' idle. See?" I demonstrated by continuing to play with Maddie's hair.

"Eeeh," Maddie whined, shivering a little. I grinned even more. I love making her do that. Maddie looked up at me with a pout on her face. "Meanie,"

"Fine. It's two in the afternoon-"

"WHAT?" Maddie squeaked, jumping up and grabbing some clothing before dashing out. (Not that she was nude while sleeping with me, I haven't gotten her that far yet.) I sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"This means I gotta git up, don' it?" I muttered, reluctantly rising just in time to see Maddie pull on a light blue sundress and a wide hat.

"Where ya goin'?" I asked.

"Out," Maddie replied. "I need fresh air,"

"Ya had fresh air all last night," I pointed out.

"Yeah, fighting zombies! They smell! I had to take like nine showers to get dead guy guts off of me," Maddie retorted. I sighed again.

"Okay, suite yerself. I'm goin' back ta bed," I told her, slumping off to the bed. Maddie shrugged and bounced off, in a suspiciously good mood. (Did she eat some white chocolate or something?) I lay back down and stared back at the ceiling. It didn't feel right without Maddie's' small form right next to me. And she doesn't sleep with me back in Hueco Mundo either! Well, in Hueco Mundo, I don't have a legitimate excuse to slide in next to her in bed. Or do I… or I could go the more direct route and destroy her room like Grimmjow did… no, then we'd have to sleep with Sophie too. She's cute and all, but I think she'd put a cramp in my style. Yeah… or I could ask her… that would be pretty easy. She'd blush too… yes… and I'll get her into one of that lingerie…

After about an hour of plotting (and other activities) I got up and put a shirt on, meandering outside. I was in a pretty good mood until I saw something I didn't like. Maddie was sitting on the edge of a hot spring, her feet dipped in, with Toshiro next to her. And they were talking. Animatedly. And laughing. Laughing! I scowled. This was unacceptable. It's doubtful Maddie was cheating on me- she was probably just talking- but Toshiro was starting at her in a way I didn't like. No, I didn't like it at all.

JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THAT LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL WOULD YOU SWEAR ON YOUR LIFE THAT NO ONE WILL CRY AT MY FUNERAL?

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yo!

So yeah, this is the 121st chapter. This story has come a long way. Thank you for all of your reviews, they make me happy. Er… what else should I put here? I dunno… um, another lemon's coming up? Uhg, not looking forward to writing that one… XP. Oh well. That's life. So yeah. Reviews?

Ulquiorra: Woman what is the matter with you? I even show more emotion.

Chloe: Ooooh, burrrn.

Inu: Whatevah.


	122. Chapter 122: Los Consejos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 122: Los Consejos

La Psiquiatra (Maddie, who is not a ninja)

"Hm… maybe if you bribed her with sake," I suggested.

"Yes, but then she'd be drunk," Toshiro replied. I shrugged.

"You make her do the paperwork _before_ she gets the sake," I clarified.

"Ah. That might work," Toshiro nodded. I smiled and looked around. We were in a quite nice hot spring (not actually _in_ it, Ichimaru would kill me) enjoying the nice weather. I happened to notice over my shoulder that Ichimaru was there.

"Hey Ichimaru-san!" I called out. It would be rude if I didn't invite him! He had his usual face on, but seemed angry. Wait- what if he'd mad at me? I mean, I did wake him up… and I'm here, fraternizing with the enemy…

Ichimaru came over and sat down next to me, folding his lanky legs under him gracefully.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hm," Toshiro muttered. I could feel the anger and mistrust boiling off of both of them.

"Um… nice day today?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, it's real nice," Gin agreed.

"Mhm," Toshiro nodded. Another awkward silence stretched between us.

"Uh, maybe I should leave-"

"NO!"

"NO!"

"Uh… okay," I nodded, staying. Toshiro scowled and got up, leaving. Great. He's mad at me now.

"Ah, I'll be back," I told Gin, rushing off after the captain. He was a good distance away by now, and I was breathing heavily when I reached him.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-san," I gasped, trying to catch my breath. "I'm sorry!"

"It's… not you," he muttered. "It's stupid Gin-"

"I'm sorry!" I interrupted. "I called him-"

"STOP APOLOGIZING!" Toshiro exclaimed.

"Okay," I nodded meekly. Toshiro exhaled angrily.

"See? This is what pisses me off," he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked.

"You. You should come back with me to the Soul Society. People like you, and you're nice enough… you could probably even bring your friends," Toshiro told me. I stared at him. Go… with him? To the Soul Society? But that would mean-  
"So you want me to leave Ichimaru?" I asked.

"Yes. He's bad news," Toshiro told me.

"But I l-"

"NO YOU DON'T!" Toshiro boomed. "You just think you do because Gin's-"

"How can you say that?" I demanded, getting pissed. "You don't know me!"

"No, but I do know Gin. He's a no good sick, twisted, psychotic, lecherous bastard who's-"

"Who's right behind you," I finished, pointing. Toshiro paled. Gin leaned over with a frown.

"Yer pissin' off my woman," Gin whispered into Toshiro's ear. He yelped and jumped back. "Tha' takes some talent to… she's a hard lady ta piss off,"

"You sound like Ulquiorra," I accused.

"Well, if I called yer a girl, yer'd be insulted," Gin defended himself. "An' we haven' really talked about what I should call ya, ya know?"

"True," I nodded.

"Ya could be my girlfriend," Gin amended. "I mean, we _did_ sleep tagether-"

"W-what?" Toshiro exclaimed, looking faint. "S-see, he's a pervert!"

"Well ya know what? " I demanded. "I happen to like perverts, so bug off!" The poor captain fainted. Again.

"Come on, let's go before someone assumes somthin'," Gin suggested, tugging on my arm. I nodded and we left. "Hey… was it true what ya said earlier? About the whole you l-"

"Yeah, it is true," I cut Gin off. "I like perverts,"

Meanwhile elsewhere-

"Dammit Nemu! Scrub harder!" Mayuri scowled. Nemu obliged.

"Sir… I don't see what was in that hot spring water… there were no contaminants-  
"You don't understand… I saw things no man should see," Mayuri croaked back, rubbing his eyes. "And I don't think I'll be able to look at that one girl and the arrancar Ulquiorra the same way again,"

ASASASASASASASASASASASASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yup. That's it… that's it. Dakota's vengeance has finally been fulfilled. That and we discover that Maddie likes perverts.

Gin: Ooh, does that mean she's into all sorts o' kinky stuff?

Maddie: *blushes* OF course not!

Gin: What, yer tried 'em?

Maddie: N-no…

Gin: Then how do ya know huh?

Inu: Eeh, lets' leave the readers to the kind reviews they're about to drop right now, neeeeh? Come on, press the button…

Gin: We all know ya wanna…


	123. Chapter 123: La Vispera de

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 123: La Víspera de Todos los Santos

La Luna (Dakota)

So we left the hot spring. Finally! Nemu randomly searching for Mayuri really freaked me out. But now we were back in Las Noches, were we should be. All was good… all was calm… until I realized that if we were back at home, Halloween would be tomorrow. So I decided to try and talk Szayel into helping me scare the living hell out of everybody (or at least as many people as possible) in Las Noches.

"What's Halloween?" Szayel demanded from his work.

"It's a holiday where people dress up and solicit candy from random strangers, watch scary movies and act like general idiots," I explained.

"Hm. Pass me the scalpel," Szayel announced absentmindedly. I sighed and passed it over.

"Please help me!" I exclaimed.

"I'm behind on my projects," Szayel retorted.

"B-b-but please? You'll have a chance to get back at Aja! And Nnoitera!" I pleaded. My begging didn't work, so I changed tactics. "And I'll let you have any kind of kinky sex with me for the next week,"

"… Make it a month and we have a deal," Szayel replied. I blinked, and sighed.

"…Fine," I muttered. Szayel smirked. Why did I get this weird feeling that I was selling my soul to Satan?

"Excellent! I have this serum I want to test out-"

"If it's addictive I'll kill you," I warned. Szayel saw the dangerous look in my eyes and held his hands up defensively.

"No no, of course not. I'm 98.5% sure that it's non-habit forming," Szayel assured me, closing out of the program he was in. "So, how do we terrorize Las Noches?"

"Hm…" I grinned. "I think I have an idea…"

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yes, I know, the Halloween segment is late. Whateveah. I wrote it while Halloween season was in full swing, and I was asked to write it. So I did.

Sorry about the shortness… I didn't realize that it was this short, and merging it with next chapter would just be too… I dunno, not good. So yeah… Please review!


	124. Chapter 124: Las Aranas

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 124: Las Arañas

La Bromista (Aja)

I was just walking down a hall in Las Noches, minding my own business, when it happened. There was a click, and something was dumped down on me. I realized that what was dumped on me were… spiders.

I. Hate. Spiders.

Tons of small hairy spiders were crawling all over my hair and my clothes; I screamed and took off, running into Aizen's room. In my hysteria I didn't notice that Aizen was shirtless having just come out of the shower.

"GetemoffgetemoffGETTHEMOFF!" I screamed.

"What the-" Aizen blinked, walking over and helping to brush the wiggling monstrosities off.

"They're in my shiiiirt!" I whined, struggling to take it off. Once it was off I didn't feel any more spiders and I realized a little, leaning against Aizen slightly. His chest was kinda wet… and he smelled nice. Once I had calmed down, Aizen put a hand on my head.

"Now, how did you get spiders all over you/" he asked.

"I don't know!" I cried. "They just came down from heaven,"

"Hm…" Aizen murmured. "These spiders look like they came from Szayel's lab…"

"Dakota," I muttered.

"Dakota?" Aizen asked.

"Yeah. Why would Szayel dump spiders on me? And anyways, I haven't told anybody outside our group that I'm terrified of spiders," I explained.

"Ah," Aizen nodded. He then smirked. "You just told me,"

"Damn you Dakota!" I exclaimed, dashing out.

"Don't you want to put your shirt on first?" Aizen asked calmly. I froze my face flushing. With an annoyed glare, I stomped into Aizen's room and grabbed my shirt, shaking it out to make sure there were no more spiders in it. I then dashed out to extract my terrible vengeance on Dakota.

When I came to Szayel's laboratory, the scientist and Dakota were crouched around a table. I snuck up on them and stuck my head in between them.

"Heya."

"Aaaah!"

"Oh dear, when did you get here?" Szayel wondered.

"Holy crap!" Dakota exclaimed. I giggled.

"Missing some spiders?" I asked coyly.

"Er…" Dakota trailed off. I smiled sweetly.

"I know it was you, and you got spiders in my shirt which I had to take off in front of Aizen," I explained, still smiling. "You do know what this means yes?"

Szayel stepped forward with narrowed eyes. I shrugged.

"Tell your boyfriend if he's got beef with me, I'm a vegetarian, and I ain' fuckin' scared of him," I announced.

"The hell?" Dakota asked.

"Exactly. Now why did you dump spiders on me?" I demanded.

"We're trying to terrorize Las Noches," Dakota explained. "Halloween,"

I stared.

"What? You mean to tell me you were trying to cause mass chaos in Las Noches? I'm disappointed in you Dakota…" I chided. "… highly disappointed. You didn't invite me? I thought we were friends!"

Dakota blinked, and then grinned.

"Okay then, welcome to the conspiracy,"

THEYNOTGONNAGETUSTHEYNOTGONNAGETUSTHEYNOTGONNAGETUSTHEYNOTGONNAGETUSTHEYNOTGONNAGETUS

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Aizen half naked and dripping wet = totally hot. So says I.

Aizen: … You disturb me.

Me: Good. Review?


	125. Chapter 125: La Pelicula de Horror

Bleached Armageddon (pronounced Arm-uh-GED-dun)

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: Inuyoshie in no way shape or form owns Bleach, They Might Be Giants or Resident Evil. Ya hear? Yes, you. Listen. Or else.

Chapter 125: La Película de Horror

El Dios (Aizen)

I was walking down the pristine halls of Las Noches, heading for my throne room. I noticed something odd though- Grimmjow was crouched in front of the doors, his eyes wide.

"What are you-"

"Shh!" Grimmjow hissed. "Our women are having sex with each other,"

"What?" I asked. "Our… women?"

"Yeah. Nicole and that psychic girl," Grimmjow replied awed. I crouched down and heard a grunting noise. I made a face.

"Aja's…" I scowled.

"Nicole! Get that away from my-"

"It's just whipped cream, honestly,"

"That's nasty!"

"I agree," I muttered.

"Oh, I don't know, I think it's kinda hot," Grimmjow remarked.

I pushed the door open. Nicole and Aja were installing a huge screen over my throne. Several couches were in the middle of the throne room, as well as several bowls of some yellow puffy stuff, some cases, two dishes of ice cream and whipped cream.

"What is the meaning of this?" I demanded.

"Eh, we turned your throne room into a theater," Aja retorted casually, turning. She was breathing heavily and a slight sheen of sweat shone on her forehead.

"Why?" I asked.

"Nikki, hit it!" Aja announced. Nicole pressed a remote, and the screen exploded with sound.

"This is awesomeness… do I need a reason for awesomeness?" Aja demanded. "Besides, we're watching Resident Evil."

"Which one?" Nicole asked.

"All of them," Aja grinned.

"What-"

"You HAVE to watch it with us," Aja cut me off. "It's really awesome and scary.

"…okay," I nodded slowly.

"Sit sit!" Aja exclaimed, bouncing on the couch.

"Remind me never to give you ice cream again," Nicole muttered.

"Just keep your whipped cream the fuck away from it," Aja retorted.

"Watch your language," I told her sternly.

"But-"

"And NO smartass replied," I added.

"You just cussed," Aja retorted.

"So? I'm God, I can do that," I told her.

"Well-"

"Shush! The movie's starting," Nicole hissed.

The move played. Aja insisted it had zombies in it, but it seemed that the building was more of the enemy. It was quite interesting. I barely noticed Nicole leave towards the end, but by the time the movie ended, I did notice Aja curled up next to me. She had my arm in a death vice and her head rested on my shoulder. I leaned back and relaxed. Horror movies have their uses.

ISTANBUL/CONSTANTINOPLE/ISTANBUL/CONSTANTINOPLE/ISTANBUL/CONSTANTINOPLE~

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

They Might Be Giants. That's all I have to say here.

Well, that and some other stuff… like I'm sorry for the late update. My friend had the binder for a while.

Also an explanation for the pronunciation guide at the top: one of my friends cannot pronounce 'Armageddon'. You know who you are doll… this is for you.

~THAT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS BUT THE TURKS…


	126. Chapter 126: La Sierra Mecanica

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 126: La Sierra Mecánica

La Psitica (Nicole)

"Did you see Aizen and Aja? They were so cute!" I gushed as we walked to Szayel's lab.

"I thought they hated each other," Grimmjow remarked.

"So? We did too," I pointed out. "And look what happened? I 'm amazed I'm not pregnant yet,"

"Uh…yeah," Grimmjow nodded nervously. Ah yes, mentioning the 'p' word always freaks guys out.

"We're here," I announced, stepping into Szayel's lab. "Yo,"

"'Sup," Dakota asked. "You guys ready?"

"Yep. But won't he wake up?" I asked.

"No, I put sleeping gas in his room," Szayel replied calmly, stepping out with a gleaming chainsaw.

That thing was gorgeous.

It was about a meter long, with gleaming sharp edges. My fingers itched to hold it- to pull the string and-

"And no, Nicole, you can't hold it," Szayel's voice brought me out of my day dream.

"What? That bites," I complained.

"Well, you get to make you cut, and that's it," Szayel amended. Gay ass bastard, I scowled and sighed.

"Okay, lets' go,"

We snuck into Nnoitera's room to extract terrible vengeance. He's a jerk. So yeah, he deserves it. Szayel made the first cut.

"This is for calling me gay-'

"But you are," I pointed out. Szayel glared and made a cut in Nnoitera's spoon-like hood.

"This is for trying to rape me," I announced, finishing the little triangle.

"This is for being a bag of douche," Grimmjow announced.

"…This is fun," Dakota added, finishing the look. Now Nnoitera's hood looked like a spork. We all grinned and 'fixed' all of Nnoitera's clothes. Dakota spray painted a spork on Nnoitera's door. We then dashed off.

Inuyoshie's spork of doom.

Yo! Okay, the spork gag was something we planned out like… a year ago. I finally wrote it… Yay me!


	127. Chapter 127: La Embarazada parte uno

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If anyone says that I own Bleach, s(he) can go take a crispy French fry, cover it in salt, bleach and vinegar and shove it up her(his) nose sideways.

Chapter 127: La Embarazada parte uno

El Rey (Grimmjow)

The next morning, something didn't feel right. I felt the bed next to me and realized that Nicole wasn't there. Frowning, I sat up and heard the sounds of barfing from the bathroom.

I got up and stuck my head in the bathroom.

"Hey, Nicole… is something wrong?" I demanded.

"I don't know," Nicole muttered, taking a drink of water. "I felt fine yesterday,"

"Huh," I muttered, thinking back. She watched a scary movie, joked about being pregnant, fucked with Nnoitera- wait…

"Uh… isn't being sick like a symptom of being… pregnant?" I blurted. Nicole froze.

"It is," Nicole nodded her face pale.

I stared at Nicole in horror. Now she's going to have little…_things_ crawling out of her stomach… and will they be arrancar or human? Or a mix? Would Szayel steal them to be experimented on? Or Aizen... what would he do? What if she died in childbirth… or worse- decided never to have sex again! (A/n: You can tell where his priorities are…)

"Um, Grimmjow? Are you okay?" Nicole asked. I took a deep breath in. Gotta man up, Grimmjow. Gotta man up…

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I'll go to Szayel for a test-"

"NO!" I exclaimed. "Who knows what that fucked up weirdo would do to you?"

"Give me the test," Nicole replied testily. "IF he doesn't, I'll kick his ass,"

"Nicole, he's a psycho," I told her.

"So am I," she retorted.

"NO!" I scowled.

"I'll go if-"

"I said NO dammit!" I snarled at Nicole, locking the bathroom door.

"Let me out! Let me out you sorry son of a bitch!" Nicole yelled, pounding on the door. I simply went into my room. She then began psychically yelling at me, so I stole her iPod and turned it up as high as I could stand.

This went on for about an hour, and then it stopped, everything seemed to be okay until there was a knock on my door. I opened it and there was Maddie and Sophie.

"Whaddaya want?" I demanded lazily

"Please let Nicole go-"

"That bitch!" I cut Maddie off. Maddie frowned.

"I asked nicely. Let her go." Now each of the human's words was scary sounding. I stared at her, and smirked.

"What are you gonna do, make me emo?" I sneered. Maddie sighed.

"I warned you," she said, handing Sophie a few coloured markers. "Have fun,"

Sophie ran into my room and began drawing all over my walls.

"Do you think that's going to do anything," I chuckled. I then paled when Sophie found my porn. "Get away from that you brat!"

I would have gone to stop her but I felt really tired. So I tried to cero the little bitch, and she ran away screaming. Maddie shot me this glare, and stormed off.

Stupid bitches.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special.

Yo.

Pregnancy scare! I love doing those. I don't love being involved in them though. Nooot fun.

Anyways… review? Yes.


	128. Chapter 128: La Embarazada parte dos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 128: La Embarazada parte dos

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

Asshole.

I'm not a generally violent person, but I really **really** wanted to eviscerate the bastard. Who the hell locks their possibly pregnant teenage girlfriend in the bathroom? All to keep her away from Szayel… he's not **THAT** CRAZY…

… Okay, he is, but really! I scowled and marched off to Szayel's lab.

"Szayel Aporro Granz, I need your assistance!" I announced loudly.

"Oh God oh God dammit!"

I blinked, hearing grunting, moaning and a lot of cussing. Sighting, I sat down on a chair and waited patiently for them to finish up.

After several minutes, Szayel stalked out of his room, shirtless with mussy hair and an evil look on his face.

"What?" he demanded irately.

"I'd like you to do a favour for me," I replied calmly. Szayel stared at me, waiting. "What?"

"I'm waiting for the torrent of apologies that usually spews from your mouth," Szayel replied. I smiled coldly.

"I'm angry," I told him.

"… what is it/" Szayel asked finally.

"Nikki thinks she's preg-o and Grimmy locked her up in that levorotary because he's afraid you're gonna go all crazy mad scientist," I explained in a rush.

"… Can you understand that?" Dakota asked, limping over.

"Yes… I see your problem," Szayel nodded.

"And I even tried to reason with the manwhore son of a dog less mother-"

"Isn't it motherless dog?" Szayel interrupted me.

"No, dog less mother sounds cooler," I told Szayel offhandedly. "So HELP!"

"We'll have to sneak her out," Szayel mused.

"Yeah…"

"Let's destroy their bathroom!" Dakota announced. Szayel gave him a Look. "What? The worst thing that could happen is that we all die,"

"Cool," I nodded. "So Szayel, do you have a portable wrecking ball?"

"What makes you think I'd have something like that?" Szayel demanded. There was a silence.

"Where is it?" Dakota asked finally.

"Third laboratory, second shelf," Szayel muttered.

"Nice."

Inuyoshie's after the chapter

The saga continues…

I'm sorry for the lack of updates. You see I had a lot of homework and I was in pain-

Gin: She's gotten addicted to yet another series.

Me: Shhhh! They're not supposed ta know!

Gin: You referenced it. That wasn't in the original script.

Me: *droops* I fail. Tales of the Abyss has sucked my soul away and hidden it somewhere. Dunno where, I gotta work on that.

Gin: Ya fail li'l otoku. Ya fail. Now go an' review! Or I'll Shinsou ya!


	129. Chapter 129: La Embarazada parte tres

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 129: La Embaraza parte tres

El Rey (Grimmjow)

"Who the fucking hell put a portable wrecking ball through my bathroom?" I screamed in a manly manner.

"Your mom!" Sophie (who was standing in the hole) announced. I rounded on her, and the brat glared at me. "You 'cary," she announced. Pain seared through my body.

"Fuck!" I swore. Sophie ran off. Fuckin' brat's a monster!

I chased after her once I had recovered. She lead me into Szayel's lab and my stomach got cold (A/N… right). That sadistic bastard better not _do_ anything to her. I stomped in.

"Szayel Aporro Granz, where the fuck is my woman?" I demanded.

"I'm right here you dumbass," Nicole growled, walking over and giving me a hug. AS she did so, she grabbed my balls painfully. "If I am pregnant, I am going to pop these like peas,"

I paled, and Szayel walked in.

"Grimmjow, I have bad news for you," he said solemnly.

"What?" I asked weakly.

"Nicole… is…"

"Yes? What?" I exclaimed. Szayel smirked.

Just then, Gin burst in.

"Hey Szayel! Ya might wanna stay away from N- oh hi Grimmy!" He grinned. "Anyway-

"IS MY WOMAN PREGNANT OR NOT DAMMIT!" I roared.

"Nikky ain' pregnant, I jus' infected her with the flu," Gin replied lazily.

"WHAT?" Nicole roared.

"Oh yeah, yer right there. Hi Nikki!" Gin waved. "I'd stay away from Aja too if I were-"

"Why you bastard!" Nicole shouted, running over and slapping him, stepping on his foot and sneezing on him. "I hope you fucking die!"

"That's my woman!" I grinned. Gin frowned and left the room.

"Wait… didn't he say something about Aja…?"

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Hey! How are you all!

Gin: Yer' takin' too long in yer updates.

Meh: Well, you see, I've had so much homework that I can't take the longhand Bleached Armageddon home… eheheh sowee.

Gin: Excuses excuses.

Meh: I also won't be able to update for a bit 'cuz I'm making Christmas gifts for all of my people. So yeah… happy holidays from me! Please review!

Also, if you want me to write you a one shot for Christmas, tell me now. Or it won't get done in time. 'Kay?


	130. Chapter 130: No Estoy Enferma!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 130: No Estoy Enferma.

El Dios (Aizen)

I went to my library to drink some tea and read a good book when I realized something was wrong.

No Aja.

She generally comes over and bothers me around this time of the day. Oddly enough, I look forward to it. However today, the library was eerily quiet. I searched for her reitsu and found that it was fluctuating rapidly. I quickly shunpoed to Aja's room and found her in bed, the covers pulled over her head.

"Nnn go away," she groaned at me.

"Are you ill?" I asked, pulling the covers away. She was shuddering and grabbed the blanket back.

"I have a headache," she told me.

"Last I checked, chills weren't part of a headache," I remarked.

"Well, you haven't experienced my kind of headaches," Aja snarled. "Go away,"

"Are you ill?" I asked again.

"NO! HEADACHE! GO THE FUCK AWAY!" Aja growled.

"You're more foul mouthed than usual Aja-"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING BOTHERING ME!"

"And your reitsu is fluctuating-"

"DOESN'T MATTER GO THE FUCK AWAY!"

"AND you're being defensive about it. You're sick," I announced. Aja glared at me from under the blanket.

"I fucking hate you," she hissed.

"Come on out of the blanket," I ordered.

"Hell fucking no,"

"Aja," I frowned at her.

"Why do you even care?" she snapped.

That's it- if she's going to be so annoying about it; I'm not going to help her.

"Fine," I shrugged, walking out. Once I was out of her room I stalked down the halls. Stupid Aja…

花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花花

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special of amazing doom ness.

Yes, I live!

I hope you all enjoyed your holidays. I enjoyed mine. I didn't write much though…

Gin: Yer so lazy.

Meh: Whatevah. As if you do anything when you're supposed to do… you made poor Izuru do all your paperwork…

Gin: Tha's what lieutenants are fer!

Meh: You didn't even turn your paperwork in on time!

Aizen: She has a valid point.

Gin: Yer all so mean ta me! Maddie~~

Meh: *sighs* Anyways, please review! And forgive me for the cussing.

Aja: Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Hah!

Aizen: *twitches*


	131. Chapter 131: No Soy un Perro

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie.

Bleach belongs to some other guy.

Chapter 131: No Soy un Perro

La Bromista (Aja)

When an illness comes around, I'm generally the first to get sick. But when the first round of flu went around, I was fine.

Now… not so much. After Aizen left, I threw up. Determined not to let Aizen win- and yes, admitting I was sick meant Aizen won- I decided to walk around.

Bad idea.

I was fine for the first five minutes, until I meandered into Aizen's throne room. At about that time, I suddenly got dizzy. The pristine throne room tilted and spun around me and darkness swirled into my vision.

"You choose the strangest places to pass out,"

I blinked blearily. Warmth surrounded me, as did the scent of… well, it's hard to describe. It was like pine mixed with jasmines and tea.

"Nn…" I mumbled. I heard soft chuckling and scowled. "Aizen…"

Yep- he's the only person I know who actually smells like tea. What does he do, bathe in it?"

"So why did you decide to take a nap in my throne room?" Aizen asked me. I properly opened my eyes and stared up at Aizen's warm chocolate ones.

"It looked comfy," I announced stubbornly.

"You have a black eye," Aizen pointed out.

"So? Maybe I like pain," I muttered. Aizen chuckled again.

"You run away from Szayel when he's giving you shots screaming that you don't like pain," he pointed out. I frowned. "I also took the liberty of getting some tests on you done-"

"For a headache?" I cut him off.

"You have the flu," Aizen told me.

"Won't you get sick?" I asked.

"I'm immune," Aizen replied.

"It could mutate," I pointed out.

"Do you really want me to leave?" Aizen asked me. I sighed.

"…No…" I muttered. Aizen smiled and patted my head.

"Good girl," he told me. I blushed a little, and scowled to hide it.

"I'm not a dog!"

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special!

Inu: *scowls* I can't get Jade to host these…

Gin: That's 'cuz he ain' from Bleach!

Inu: So? I could probably get Lavi to host one?

Gin: Who?

Inu: Man. New obsession.

Gin: *scowls* That ain' cool. So what's this Jade guy's excuse huh?

Inu: Dunno. Something about being old and not up to it.

Gin: Oh. Whatever…

Inu: Well, this was pointless. Please do review!


	132. Chapter 132: Eres mi Hermana?

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 132: Eres mi hermana?

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

"Please stay in bed-"

"But I feel fine,"

"You're not fine!"

"Since when were yer a doctor-"

"In bed! Now!" I announced sharply to Gin.

"Ooh, aggressive," Gin grinned at me. I flushed- stupid pervert! "Fine- I'll git in bed if ya put that nurse out fit on,"

"I thought you burned that thing!" I exclaimed. Gin crossed his arms and I sighed, giving in. I went off to change.

When I left my room, I saw Sophie disappear in a white blur. Gin forgotten, I rushed after the blur, clad in my skimpy uniform.

In a craze of panic, I searched all of the Espada's' rooms, seeing many things I didn't want to see. Let's just say this –I don't think I'll be able to look at Ylforte (or Szayel) with a straight face again.

I had to stop and catch my breath as my asthma was acting up and my legs hurt.

"Hey-"

"AHHH!" I screamed, jumping and falling back on my ass.

"Nice panties," Gin remarked. I flushed again and glared up at him.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" I complained, kicking my legs in a child- like manner. "I lost my sister… again!"

"Again?" Gin asked.

"Yes," I whined. "I fail. Gin sighed.

"No ya don',"

Wait… that wasn't Gin.

I turned, and screamed.

There was a young woman, about twelve or thirteen, with curly sandy hair and solemn brown eyes. She was dressed in a neat white dress.

"Hi Mani!

"…Sophie?"

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, for those of you whom I promised Christmas presents, I'm sorry it's taking so long. I wrote them... . And then I had to clean my room, so I can't' find a damn thing. I'm working on it, please do have patience.

Also a warning to you all- the end of Bleached Armageddon is near. I know, it hurts me to think about it, but I'll be ending this story around 150 chapters. I'll be *hopefully* finishing these chapters up during finals.

Gin: Gaah, so serious today!

Meh: Yeah… T-T


	133. Chapter 133: El Fenomenon

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

I don't own anything. Translation: Inu fails at life.

Chapter 133: El Fenómenon

El Rosado (Szayel)

"SZAYEL APORRO GRANZ, YOUR ASS IS MINE!"

I blinked, looking up from my research.

"Who is it this time? Grimmjow?" I drawled lazily to Dakota, who was typing next to me.

"That sounded more female," He replied.

"Nicole?"

"Not enough cuss words,"

"Lilinette?"

"Not bouncy enough,"

"Aja?"

"Not imaginative enough,"

"IF THIS IS YOUR DOING I WILL TURN YOUR INTESTINES INSIDE OUT!"

"…obsession with internal organs? That's Maddie," Dakota announced, getting up. He walked off, and Maddie stalked in (in a skimpy nurse outfit, Gin must be enjoying himself again) looking very angry.

"What did I do this time?" I asked. A young girl walked in after Maddie.

"Sophie aged,"

"Really? How fascinating?" I grinned, sonidoing over to the girl.

"Pink~ pink~!" Sophie giggled.

"Yes yes," I nodded, pulling Sophie over to an examination table. Dakota began trying to keep Maddie from killing me (and touching my intestines- I need those). I began performing some basic diagnostic tests, taking blood samples (neither sister liked that) and jotting notes at a high speed.

"It would seem that Sophia's cells have been matured- thee are traces of the same energy you all had when you first came here," I murmured.

"So-"

"I need to study the energy before it dissipates into the atmosphere. It's abnormal, but not enough that I can directly alienate it from the energy around here once the energy drifts away from the person,"

"Okay," Maddie nodded.

"Theoretically, I could figure out how to return you to your home world, "I added. I had several hypotheses, but I needed some energy to work with. Maddie nodded intensely, and then walked over to her sister, hugging the girl.

"Behave," Maddie told her sternly.

"Okay~" Sophie giggled.

"Okay. Do your best and don't hurt her please if you can avoid it yes thank you." Maddie said smoothly, walking out.

I nodded, and looked at Sophie, then at Dakota.

"You can send us home?" Dakota asked his voice neutral.

"I can try," I replied.

"Do you want to though?"

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Ooooh… things get complicated…

Okay the Sophie getting older thing was a little random (sorry) but it was such a cool idea I had to put it in…

Also note- next chapter is a lemon. It will take a while to post it up. People centered around the story know why.

Please do review. Thank you!


	134. Chapter 134: Me Ducha?

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Written by Inu's friend who wished not to be named.

Chapter 134: Me Ducha?

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

I slipped into Gin's bathroom and closed the glass door Why was I in Gin's bathroom, you may ask? Simple- my bathroom ran out of body wash and shampoo after Sophie decided to make a bubble bath, but decided after emptying the body wash down the drain that there weren't enough bubbles. I asked Gin if I could be more, but he was all… Nyaah, change the subject-y. Men…

I turned on the ventilation fan and the hot water in the shower. Slowly I striped down, exposing my body to the cold air. For some reason, Gin's room always seemed colder than it should, which is stupid since he sleeps naked. Naked Gin… bad thoughts! Arg!

I threw my clothes in the hamper and stepped under the warm water. For a moment I stood there and let the water relax all the muscles in my back like a massage. I pulled my hair tie out of my hair and put it on the cold water knob and ruffled my long brown hair, getting all of it wet. I grabbed the pomegranate bottle of shampoo and squirted a handful into my palm and began working it through my hair. -Click-

'What was that?' I froze and waited for more noise, none. I went back to foaming up my sponge with lavender scented body wash and a cold burst of air shook my body sending chills up my spine. I moved, but was grabbed around the waist by firm arms. I was blinded by the shampoo that had run into my eyes. I pushed against the man screaming.

"Shhhh, calm down Maddie, 's only me" Gin chuckled into my ear. Knowing it was only Gin calmed me down, but when I remembered the fact that I was fully naked and so was he unsettled those nerves.

"What are you doing?" I asked, not able to think of anything else.

"Havin' fun" He smiled pushing me against the wall and forcing his lips onto mine. My stomach flipped, and I kissed back, wrapping my arms around his torso, trying to pull him closer than he already was. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and slid it across mine. My heart rate picked up, along with my breathing.

"Yer like this, ne?" Gin teased. I blushed, hoping he wouldn't realize. His hand moved lower, gently massaging my hips. I felt really warm all over, like my skin was on fire and the water spraying around us felt comparatively cold. Gin kissed me again to distract me and he inserted a finger. I squeaked in surprise, and Gin shoved his tongue in my mouth again as a response. He pulled away short after, licking his lips in a predatory manner.

"Sorry" I said, I wasn't sure why I said it anyways.

"Don' git me started with that" He grinned evilly inserting another finger, and moved them around. I moaned quietly. He pulled his hand out and moved around a bit. Gin kissed my lips again and pulled my legs up and thrusted into me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he began to thrust into me. As the burning pleasure built up, Gin increased his pace. Gin moaned loudly as we both released at the same moment. I clung desperately to him as my legs seemed to give out on me. Gin calmly held me up, and kissed me on the nose.

"Love ya dear," he remarked, almost casually, as he adjusted the water temperature slightly. I was suddenly aware that the water had been running the whole time and sighed.

"Love you too," I murmured, resting my head on his broad shoulder.

"Don'tcha need ta finish yer shower?" he remarked.

"Oh… yeah," I nodded weakly. "… I don't wanna move,"

"'S okay," Gin replied easily, helping rinse the remaining suds out of my hair. He combed his long fingers across my scalp and I moaned softly. Damn that felt good! Gin chuckled again, squeezing the hair to get the suds out. "There. All better,"

"Mhm," I nodded again. We both kinda stumble clambered out of the shower stall, Gin grabbing a large towel on the way out, and made our way to Gin's huge and very fluffy bed, toppling on it and sighing.

"Ya know what occurred ta me?" Gin asked after a silence.

"What?"

"It's a real good thing yer sister ain' here,"

For some reason, we both burst out laughing.

爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sooo sorry for the wait!

As mentioned above, most of this was written by a friend, I just fluffed it up. Why? Because. Partly because I'm lazy, partly because I suck at lemons, partly because I bribed my friend with help on her Advanced Algebra because I am an evil bitch like that.

I found the Christmas presents from my room! Yaay!

So I'll be posting them up. IF I forgot anybody, I will apologize a million times and probably grovel for your forgiveness and write you two.

Anyways…

Please review! Pleeeeease? Sank you!


	135. Chapter 135: Feliz Cumpleanos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 135: Feliz Cumpleaños

Las Lágrimas (Ulquiorra)

That cat likes me.

It's odd, I have displayed no behavior that would be considered friendly to the feline, yet it still rubbed all over my legs, trilled at me and sat on my stomach.

Chloe found it cute, so I tolerated it. She would reach over and pet the creature while it sat on me, which was an interesting experience.

The cat stared at me. I stared back at it .The cat meowed. I sniffed. The cat licked my nose.

"Ugh. Trash," I announced.

"Mrow…" Pein muttered, getting off of me. Smart creature.

Chloe came in, with some boxes. She sat down next to me and opened them.

"What… is that?" I asked.

"It's pocky," She replied, pulling out a stick with chocolate on it. She offered it to me, and I frowned.

"Is it..."

"It's food," Chloe bit on one and smiled. I took one and bit it. It tasted like chocolate and shortbread, both pleasant human foods. Chloe also had a box of pink coated sticks that tasted like strawberries. Strawberries aren't unpleasant tasting.

Pein attempted to eat a stick of pocky. I glared at the cat and rescued the pocky indignantly.

"Stupid feline, you'll die if you eat this," I muttered.

"Aw~ Pein, did you hear that? Ulqui-kun cares!" Chloe giggled. I sighed.

"No, if he died you'd be sad," I muttered.

"Okay, right right,"

"Really," I added.

"I believe you," Chloe replied.

"Good." I nodded. There was a silence, punctuated by the occasional crunching of pocky.

"Heey Ulqui?"

"What?" I asked. Chloe giggled, leaned over and kissed me.

"Happy birthday!"

"What?" I blinked.

"It's my birthday," Chloe clarified.

"Oh," I nodded. "So is this some odd human custom?"

"Kinda," Chloe shrugged. I kissed her back.

"There,"

?

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Sorry about the late update. I'm really getting bad about that… I remember a time when I updated every single day! If I did that, the end of the story would be up in about two or so weeks. T-T Maybe that's why I'm being so lazy about it… I don't want it to end… T-T

Oh well. Please review? Thanks.


	136. Chapter 136:Fiesta!

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, there would be aliens who would abduct Orihime and do experiments on her boobs. Seriously. Those things are force of nature.

Chapter 136: Fiesta!

La Psitica (Nicole)

"So Dakota, what is it like?"

Dakota blinked at me, and flushed slightly.

"Tiring," he replied. I nodded, and then turned to Maddie and Chloe, who were seated next to me on my bed. Yes… Bitch Night was back!

"Aja's late," Maddie muttered.

"She's always late," Dakota replied.

"Not always," Aja announced, entering. "I barely escaped IT,"

"IT?" I asked.

"Aizen. He didn't let me leave his room-"

"Ooh," I snickered. Aja flushed and glared at me.

"Not like that! I was sick!" she exclaimed.

"You two haven't done it yet…" Chloe grinned.

"Come on, even Maddie's done it," I added. Maddie waved shyly. Aja stared.

"Seriously? With Gin? When?" Aja demanded.

"You've gotta get cracking Aja," Dakota announced. I nodded.

"Well, we shouldn't' really be pressuring Aja to have premarital sex if she doesn't want to," Maddie pointed out.

"Usually I'm doing that to you all," Aja snickered.

"True," I grinned. "So... how kinkuy is everybody's sexy?"

"Eeeh?" Maddie blinked.

"I wanna know!" I exclaimed.

"Szayel likes strapping me down," Dakota admitted.

"Lucky!" Aja squealed. I raised an eyebrow. "What? Bondage is hot," she defended herself.

"Actually it's a little painful," Dakota replied.

"Well, that's because he's strapping you down to a dissection table, right?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah, every time I get this sinking feeling that I'm going to wake up minus a few internal organs," Dakota added. Everybody snickered. "No, I'm serious,"

"What's scary is that you are," Maddie nodded.

"What about Gin? I'll bet he's really kinky with his rapist fingers and all," I interrogated Maddie. She reddened.

"He… likes to do it in the shower," she muttered.

"Really? Sounds slippery-"

"Eeeh! Chloe! Talk about your kink!"

"WE don't really have one…"

"What? Chloe, you're the kinkiest person I know!" Dakota remarked.

"No, I'm the kinkiest person you know," Aja piped up.

"Ooh, don't' tell Aizen~" I teased. Aja glared. "Prove it,"

"I like being pushed around, BDSM, breath play-"Aja started. "Bondage, collars, role-play… need I say more?"

'…yeah, I think that's good," I nodded.

"Well…" Dakota said after an awkward silence.

"Isn't Aizen going to be looking for you?" Chloe asked.

"Uh… yeah… so?" Aja asked.

"Yeah... he's going to bitch at you," Maddie pointed out.

"Nnn…" Aja grumbled, getting up and stepping out.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

SUPER MEGA ULTRA WARNING: Next chapter is lemon. The last lemon. And I'm leaving with a bang… it is very…er, intense. With BDSM. Hence the kink talk earlier.

But other than that… yeah, I'm getting better about the updates I hope. I think what I'm going to do is compose the last few chapters as I type them up, just because I hate writing them down. I just can't deal with it… T-T

But they will be done. I know what to do with them; it's just a matter of getting off my fat ass and doing them. Rawr.

Anyways, please do review mah stuff. Sank you!


	137. Chapter 137: La esclavitud

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 137: La Esclavitud

La Bromista (Aja)

(**Note**: This chapter contains some pretty heavy content and is not meant for underage readers. Not that you all didn't know that already ^-^'' However, if you really don't like lemons, skim over to the part where it switches points of view to Aizen's. You need to read that part. It's important. Really. I swear!)

I scowled, stepping outside. Stupid Aizen. Rawr. I sighed and began walking back to my room, with a creepy feeling on the back of my neck. Was someone… following me? I turned around, but no one was there. Muttering, I turned to my door and saw Aizen leaning on it, a dog collar around his finger. I gulped slightly- the look he was giving me was scary… and sexy…

"A-Aizen," I muttered. He walked up to me and put the collar on. "What are you-"

"Shh," he ordered, gripping my chin firmly. He then smirked. "So… BDSM? Bondage? Collars?" With this he gave my collar a little tug. I flushed.

"A-Aizen…" I stuttered, trying to squirm from his grasp. He smirked, kissing my ear gently.

"Stop Aja, I may have to p8unish you for disobeying an order," he breathed. I shuddered, letting him nip my ear and the exposed part of my neck. It was surprisingly nice… I mean, I always thought my first kiss and that would be with a woman… but here I am with a man… a lot like my dad. My thoughts were cut short as he started to unbutton my top… crap.

"No… stop," I muttered, squirming again. I may have a lot of fetishes, but I don't like my body, so lights had to be off. "The lights…" I muttered.

"Will stay on," he said, slipping my shirt down, kissing my neck. "I believe I told you to be quiet," he murmured, biting down hard. I winced, freezing, that spot was tender… he began to unclasp my bra, slipping that off before letting go. "Lie on the bed. Don't make a sound," He disappeared out the door. I frowned and lay down, soon falling asleep.

---

When I woke up, I know something was wrong. One, my hands were tied to the bed post and two; I had a gag in my mouth. I looked around, seeing Aizen sitting next to me, reading.

"Finally awake?" he smirked. "That's good… now we can start," he set his book down, cupping my cheek. "The safe word is vanilla; you can use sign language, yes?" I blushed, nodding. His smirk sharpened and he rolled my over carefully. I heard him pick something up. "Now since you have been here you have caused me a lot of problems… so you will get one hit for each. Understand?" I nodded and a moment after I felt a riding crop hit my back. After about 100 smacks I had tears in my eyes and my back and bum were SORE. Man did he hit hard. He flipped me over, slipping a finger in my collar and pulling me up a git, forcing me to kiss me. I was distracted by the kiss and didn't realize he slipped my pants off. "So this is why you wear baggy clothes… you have a nice figure…" I whined, squirming and biting on the gag. He took it out. "Speak love," I blushed, looking away.

"Don't call me that," he chuckled and kissed me. I kissed back, blushing more. "A-Aizen... the lights…"

"Will stay on," he frowned, standing up. He then began discarding his cloak and pants.

"But… why?"

"Because I want to see you,"

I flushed, flustered and squirmed, trying to get loose. He narrowed his eyes, smacking my stomach with the crop. "If it's so bad to have the lights on then beg, and I might consider it,"

I frowned. I _never_ begged but… in a situation with a dom, especially one with no boundaries I guess I could make an exception.

"Please Aizen- please turn off the lights…" I asked.

"Not good enough," he snapped, smacking the top of my head with the crop. I thought a moment, for once glad I read those yaoi.

"Aizen-sama, this worthless pet begs you to turn off the lights… please Aizen-sama,"

Aizen smirked and flipped them off, turning on the bedside lamp, climbing on top of me. He leaned down, sucking on my breast. I moaned, gripping my bonds as he kissed, nipped and sucked my neck and breasts alternatively. I trembled as he pried my legs apart, positioning himself.

"Ready?"

I nodded, wincing as he thrust in. I bit on my lip, trying not to scream or crying out in pain, tears pricking my eyes. He smoothed my hair down, 'shh'-ing. It took me a while to stop crying, and he continued. Almost immediately it began to feel great, and I lay under him moaning. He smiled and kissed me, moving my hips up to meet his thrusts. I moaned loudly, feeling well, worn out. He thrust a few more times before cumming. He leaned down and kissed me.

"I love you," he said, pulling out and laying next to me.

"…I like you, and care for you," I couldn't bring myself to say those words. He sighed.

"You okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"You could have been worse… Aizen-sama, promise you won't' ever leave me?" I asked.

"When you say you love me," he replied stubbornly

"Would we have had sex if I just liked you?" I demanded.

"…We will talk about this later," He yawned, pulling me to him. I fell asleep in his arms.

El Dios (Aizen)

I lay on my bed, eyes closed and relaxed, enjoying the warm feeling coursing through my body. Aja was next to me, fast asleep. Everything was perfect.

There was a knock at the door. I carefully got up and walked over to the door, jerking up my hakama as I did so.

Szayel was at the door.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Whew.

Suspense! Hot lemon! Rawr! What could Szayel possibly want ne? Heh…

Okay my amazing co-authouress wrote most of the lemon. I wrote the beginning and the end. So yeah, shout out to her, she's cool.

And I updated more quickly than usual. Then again, I was bribed. Heh. I'm so easy to please… for example, drop in a review! That will please me. Indeed.


	138. Chapter 138: Al Final

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 138: Al Final

El Fuego (Chloe)

It was an average day. I woke up, cuddled with Ulquiorra, cuddled with Pein, got dressed, showered and ate breakfast with the others. Aja looked… I dunno, cheerful I guess. Maybe she and Aizen finally did it.

Sophie came out, still an adult. Okay, a tween. She was still adorable, only now boys were interested in her (which is creepy because she is a six year old in a twelve year old body). Sophie hung out with Lilinette a lot.

Everything seemed normal until Aizen asked us to go to Szayel's lab.

Dakota was confused, Aja and Nicole were suspicious, and Maddie was curious, as was I. ON my way to the lab, Ulquiorra pulled something out. IT was a simple silver chain with a little green stone on it.

"Here," he muttered, giving it to me.

"Thank you!" I squealed.

"Don't ever take it off," he told me sternly.

"Of course," I told him. We entered the lab.

There was a large swirling machine thing in the middle of it. Szayel flipped some switches. The air around us crackled with energy, and a low humming built up. We were all totally confused about what was going on… nothing made sense.

Dakota was the first one to realize it.

"You- you didn't!" he exclaimed in desperation. I felt a pulling force, and we all hurtled towards the machine, which now had a portal in the middle of it. I screamed as a dizzy feeling ran through my body. It was totally weird.

I woke up on a cold hard surface with a throbbing headache. I looked around blearily and didn't recognize the place at first, but then… I realized I was in my bathroom. At home.

"What the hell?" I asked.

"Chloe hurry up!" One of my sisters yelled.

What the hell? Was it a dream? Did I just fall and imagine everything? That would be totally not cool. I shook my head, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

Ulquiorra's necklace still hung, a sad green sphere glaring at me.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Please don't kill me.


	139. Chapter 139: Las Pierdas

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie (who is not dead yet!)

Chapter 139: Las Pierdas

Omniciente (The Narrator of Doom's point of view)

Dakota, Aja, Nicfole, Sophie and Maddie all woke up in bed, in their homes.

The people around them had not disappeared… they were the ones who disappeared. As it turns out, on the day when our lovely protagonists 'woke up' to find all of Sheboygan missing in action, they were actually in a coma in their own world. Well… not as much of a coma as a very deep sleep accompanied by a fever. Luckily no one was taken to a hospital, however it took a hell of a lot of explaining for our lovely protagonists to be able to roam the streets freely again.

On the outside, everything was fine. However inside…

Dakota was hurt, that Szayel got rid of him and that he didn't tell Dakota about his discovery. The pinkish rose quartz charm he had stayed hidden in a pair of ugly mustard brown socks his grandmother gave him.

Nicole was furious with Grimmjow. That sorry bastard… she trew the deep azure pendant she was given into her closet and hoped the sorry piece of shit shattered.

Chloe moped silently, not really showing her pain in an attempt to hide it from her family and friends. Her verdant pendant remained around her neck, but hidden.

Aja behaved similarly to Chloe, but with a higher magnitude. She sank into a deep depressin, which loaded onto her manic depression. Some days, even looking at something the same vibrant red as her pendant ilicited a torrent of tears.

She hid this well.

But not well enough. Maddie saw this. She saw everybone eles's pain and tried to make it better, as she always does, but inside she was damaged too. Maddie placed as much blame as humanly possible on herself and hid her pearly pendant under her clothes.

Days passed.

The bitter cold of January lingered.

Weeks passed.

Lives returned to 'normal'.

Months passed.

The winter snow thawed and melted. Grass and blossoms grew, burds returned. Jackets were replaced with T-shirts.

The year ended, a whole crop of jerk wad seniors left. Summer filled the air with the thick sound of cicadias, yet the sorrow of our lovely protagonists' hearts remained. A new school year began.

Slowly, the scars began to heal.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, so that was a very sad chapter. I'm sorry… I will probably get yelled at. Or make people cry.

As for those of you who believed that the last chapter was rushed, that was done on purpouse. I'm trying to give the feeling that our lovely protagonists were totally caught off guard by this sudden thing… although I tried to hint at it in previous chapters. Se la vi.

Okay: next chapter will be funny. I promise.


	140. Chapter 140: La Venganza de los Gatitos

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 140: La Venganza de los Gatitos!

Los Gatitos (Aja's kitten Souske)

Mommeh iz gon.

Mah home brudderz no haz mommehs 2. Pein iz emo. Kira iz lookn fer Kiraz mommeh. I iz p!ssed.

We decided to pwn teh stooped arrancarz. Especially teh stooped ho arrancarz, Melony & Lola. Stoopid hoz. Stoopid hoz mess with mommeh & makez her cry. Not kewl.

Ho alertz! Theyz iz eatin' tea & cookie thingiz. We can has cookie thingiz 2! No cookie thingiz 4 hoz!

1st, we iz smarticlez. We goes and recruitz The Big Cat of Pwnness, Grimmjow.

He iz Pwncat.

(He also canz understand us. That B kewl.)

After we told Pwn-cat teh plan, he agreed ta pwn teh hoz with us.

Kira iz the cuyte pootie, so Kira goes 1st. The hoz are tatolly fooled by Kira & we give him hugz.

Then we attack.

We caem in under teh table and nommed on teh hoz' skanky legs. Pwn-cat tehn blocked teh hoz escape rout. Hah hah. Epic fail.

The hoz screamed * we attacked by our pwnful pwn-ness.

After that, we stole the hoz tea.

Nomm nomm.

L8er, I cuddlez with Pwn-cat. Pwn-cat iz sad. I iz sad too. I want mommeh.

Yaaz 4 teh double updates!

…

Okay, I'll stop with that.

That chapter was fun to write… and hard too. I think I have thourally screwed the English language and now I feel really dirty. T-T

Anyways, reveiwz?


	141. Chapter 141: Hola

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Inuyoshie does not own Bleach. Otay? Otay.

Chapter 140: Hola! (If anyone doesn't know what that means I'm going to die inside.)

La Psitica (Nicole)

"Happy fitness Wednesday!"

"Go away Jeff," Maddie scowled at the tall, gangly boy who stood in front of her (otherwise known as Jeff, our idiot friend). He laughed a dry chuckle and sat down on the bench next to me. School hadn't started yet, but we got here early and hung out in the halls.

"So, do you think that they'll make us run outside?" Jeff added.

"They'd better not- it's wet outside. It rained last night," Maddie added.

"Yeah. They'll probably make us run inside," I scowled. Our field house smelled funny.

"Fun fun," Maddie nodded.

"Hey Nicole, you do your physics homework? Jeff asked me.

"Hell no!" I replied.

"Nikki," Maddie chided.

"What? You do your Chinese homework at lunch," I pointed out. Maddie sighed.

"Okay okay," she muttered. Dakota came over, carrying his blue binder briefcase thing.

"Hey Munchkin," I greeted him. He rolled his eyes.

"Hey," He replied, sitting down. I noticed that he had a little pink stone tucked into his pocket.

"Why do you have that?" I demanded.

"Don't know. It was just… there, which is odd because I could have sworn I stuck it in my socks," Dakota grumbled. I stared at my pocket and saw that mine was there too.

"Stupid piece of shit," I scowled. Maddie sighed.

Zero hour let out, and we all got up to go to our relative first hours. Mine was Advanced Algebra… yuck.

I slowly trudged to my class on the first floor, scowling at the brightly coloured chairs on all of our desks… and at some asshole sitting in my chair.

Wait…

That asshole was…

Grimmjow?

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

"Alright two laps around the track to warm up"

Translation: "You think you're only running ten laps? Hell no, let's squeeze some more in!"

I swear all gym teachers are sadists. They may seem nice and friendly and they say that they're doing you all a favour but really, come on. Who needs to know how to be able to play badminton and basketball and pickle ball. Pickle ball! That's the most fucked up game ever invented. And another cute thing- the gym teachers have decided that since we have shorter classes on Wednesdays they're going to make us run around in mindless circles while playing Hanna Montana music. Oh, they'll make it seem nicer by letting you jog for a minute before returning to running, ha-ha how kind of you.

So yeah. I was running. Chloe was with me, as were our friends Heather, Katie, Lisa and McKayla. Things were going fairly normally until…

"Naw, I'll just watch,"

I almost froze. I'd recognize that drawl anywhere. I turned to Chloe, who had this freaked out look on her face.

Gin was here. Why was he here? What did he want? Was he mad at me? My head spun with questions as I ran on. WE were doing a stupid activity where you ran one minute, then rested, then ran two minutes, th3en rested, and so on. Now we were on the first minute, and I was determined to make sure I didn't look like a moron (ie: wheezing gasping turning red in the face passing out) in front of Gin. That was my goal. So I ran. And ran. I lost sense of everything around me and ran.

I ran on, barely hearing my sadist gym teacher tell me to slow down. I barely felt my chest tighten, or the fact that my breathing sounded more like machines on an assembly line than two lungs working. I was so intent on not looking stupid in front of Gin that I passed out.

Ow.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter shizz.

Yo.

Okay, that was originally two chapters, but then I made them one. Why? Because I frickin' can. So rawr. I win. Maybe. Okay… not really. But whatever. I could care less. I'm listening to My Chemical Romance right now, so nothing could stop me! Nothing! I can rule the world! I can plot! I can divide by zero! Yesss…

Okay… that was just my random thing. I didn't even have any sugar tonight! Really!


	142. Chapter 142: No Me Convence Del Todo

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 142: No Me Convence del todo…

La Luna (Dakota)

"Yes yes, I know I'm amazing,"

I paused in front of my C++ class. Something didn't feel right. When I stuck my head in, the feeling got worse.

A large crowd of ogling girls (many of which weren't even in my class) surrounded a disturbingly attractive man in a flamboyant black suit top and purple slacks… with pink hair.

"Aaah there you are!" Szayel exclaimed… uh… gaily, walking over by me. I waited until he was within range and promptly slapped him. Gasps rippled through the room.

"You ditched me," I told him coldly. Szayel rubbed his cheek.

"I know-"

"I even asked," I added. "Why didn't you at least tell me?"

"I was ordered not to by Aizen-"

"Fuck Aizen! I'm- I guess I'm not worth the effort," I muttered.

"If that was true why would I be here?" Szayel asked.

"To rub it in my face," I retorted.

"I wouldn't do that," Szayel told me, exasperated.

"Yes you-" I was cut off when Szayel stepped forward and kissed me, in front of a crowd of small town conservative teenagers.

Well, the kiss wasn't bad. I missed those, especially that thing he did with his tongue-

Okay off topic.

Szayel pulled away, and the bell rang. Whispering excitedly, the room practically emptied and my C++ teacher cleared his throat. Flushing, I went to my seat.

"So, you'll be here…"

"All day. I have a pass," Szayel told me cheerfully.

"How the hell did you get that?" I asked. Szayel smirked.

"WE have our ways…" I sweat dropped.

"Ookay…" I stared at my computer. Today was going to be long.

El Dios (Aizen)

I should have known something was wrong when her tracker was not at school. Instead it was in some institutional looking building. Since Aja hated such places, it could not have been her home. Had I pushed her over the edge? What happened right before we sent them away… I did not want to break her. I hoped I didn't...

I walked into the building, using my zanpaktou's abilities to infiltrate without raising questions. I walked down a hall and stopped in front of the office were Aja was.

"… I don't think the pills are working," she was saying. I froze.

"Have you had any-"

"No thoughts of suicide but… you know, they just aren't helping."

"Hm… it's as if your manic depression has gotten worse over the past year," the doctor murmured. I stepped into the room calmly; making sure Aja could see me.

"…Y-yeah, I need new pills…"

"Oh?"

"I-I can see him," Aja burst out sobbing. "You said they wouldn't give me hallucinations!"

"… Yes…" the doctor looked nervous. "I think that will be all."

Aja got up and I followed her. She got into a car with who I would assume would be her mother and I followed. Eventually she made it to school, around lunchtime.

Omniciente (The Narrator's Point of View which is epic win)

"So what exactly happened?" Maddie asked, once Aja, Nicole, Dakota, Chloe and their respective men were gathered. Aja was pointedly ignoring Aizen, Nicole was still irritated with Grimmjow, Dakota was praying no one would call his parents and announce to them 'your son is gay' and Chloe was hugging Ulquiorra.

"The war with the Soul society was comin'" Gin replied.

"Yes. When I found out that Szayel could send you all back, I told him to do so to keep you all safe," Aizen explained.

"You could have told us," Dakota p9ointed out.

"We didn't want you to worry," Szayel replied.

Aja snorted bitterly.

"Aja, you know perfectly well-"

"Do I?" Aja snapped at Aizen. He sighed.

"I didn't want-"

"You left me. No- you got rid of me,"

"But-"

"This is why I didn't say I love you," Aja snapped. "A man like you is incapable of such a feeling,"

Everyone froze. Aja got up, and stalked off.

Aizen watched her go with a frown on his face. An awkward silence settled on the table.

"She had better be wrong," Maddie spoke up in an eerily calm voice. "I do not give a damn how powerful you are, or what you can do physically or otherwise to me or my family but God help you if she is correct. Got it?"

Aizen nodded a neutral look on his face. Nicole muttered 'pacifist my ass' under her breath.

The rest of the day was silent. Aja had gone home early. Everyone else decided to let the two fix their issues on their own... knowing how messy it could get.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Note- to those who do not know, C++ is a computer programming class.

Ooooh… so this chapter was a little emo, but funny, and then emo again… what have you.

Note Szayel's clothes. That was a mini ha-ha moment for me. All Szayel is missing is the chair…

Okay, enough creepy foreshadowing. Review?


	143. Chapter 143: La Logica

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 143: La Lógica

La Bromista (Aja)

I ran home.

Okay, I called home and Mom picked me up. I looked pale and was shaky anyways so yeah… this plus the Swine Flu epidemic meant that no questions were asked.

I didn't see that asshole on the way home from school.

I ran upstairs to my room and flopped on my bed. After a few seconds, I burst out crying.

I loved him.

I truly did. I wanted with every ounce of my being to be with him. I wanted him here, or even better, for me to be there.

But I wasn't. He wasn't. Reality sucks balls.

In the midst of my crying I felt someone sit on my bed. A warm hand lay on my head and the scent of tea filled the air. My chest tightened.

"G-go away," I choked.

"No," he replied. I swung my hand to slap him, but he caught it easily. "Is that necessary?"

"Yes," I replied, sitting up but refusing to look at him. He grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

"Will you listen now?" He asked me. When I didn't answer, he moved on. "I sent you away for your own safety. What if the Soul Reapers infiltrated Las Noches?"

"We could-"

"You're not trained in combat. They are. And they know your strengths and weaknesses. Soul Reapers are no less willing to fight dirty than I," Aizen scolded me. "I gave you that stone to keep an eye on you,"

"You could have said something," I pointed out.

"… That is true," Aizen's expression lightened. "I… I'm sorry,"

I met his eyes for once. They weren't lying. But… it could be a trick… why though. What would he have to gain from deceiving me?

And if he was, did I care?

"I forgive you," I muttered carefully, hugging Aizen. He smiled and hugged me back.

"Now that that's dealt with, introduce me to you family," Aizen ordered. I sighed, standing.

"There really isn't much to see," I muttered, getting out of my room and staring at my sisters' room. "I have two sisters, a mom and an asshole,"

"Hm," Aizen replied, walking downstairs. He looked downstairs where The Asshole was on the computer.

"Shit," I swore. Aizen gave me a look, but I decided to walk downstairs first. I tried to sneak past him but…

"Hey! What are you doin' home from school so early?" he demanded gruffly.

"I felt sick-"

"I shell out hundreds of dollars each year to keep you in school and fucking give you education and what do you do? You waste it and pretend to be sick!" the Asshole shouted. "You fucking dipshit bitch1"

Aizen stepped out at that point and towered over the Asshole.

"Excuse me-"

"Who the hell are you?" the Asshole bellowed.

"My name is Souske Aizen, I am Aja's… boyfriend," Aizen answered smoothly. I blushed. The Asshole looked like he was going to murder me. Just then, Mom came in.

"Oh hello! I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in! I'm Jocelyn, Aja's mom. Are you hungry?" she asked warmly.

"You mean this guy just waltzed into our house? " the Asshole demanded.

"I could use some tea," Aizen told my mom, who nodded and went to go make some.

"Hey! You! Answer me!" the Asshole yelled. Aizen rubbed his temples in an irritated manner.

"Yes?" he asked in a pleasant tone of voice.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" the Asshole demanded.

"Through the door of course," Aizen replied.

"Don't be a fucking smartass!"

"Better to be a smartass than a dumbass I believe…" Aizen retorted.

"Hey, that's my line," I muttered. The Asshole stood up menacingly. He was about as tall as Aizen, but Aizen was ten times more awesome and classy and stuff.

"You-"

Just then my idiot sisters Wren and Zoe came in. Wren is about thirteen and Zoe is eleven.

"Aja Aja… who's that?" Zoe asked.

"Hello, my name is Souske Aizen," Aizen smiled warmly at the brats.

"Hi I'm Zoe! " Zoe giggled. "Are you Aja's boyfriend?"

"Why yes I am," Aizen nodded.

"Did you know she's afraid of spiders?"

"Yeah, and she kicks a lot in her sleep,"

"And she's afraid of showing skin!"

"And this one time when she was in fifth grade she-"

"Shut it!" I cut the annoying brats off. Wren and Zoe giggled their annoying high pitched giggle.

"Wanna meet our rats?" Wren announced, running over to a cage. "That one is Bailey and that one is Scutters!"

Aizen nodded politely as Wren grabbed the larger rat Scutters and cuddled her close to her face. I watched with a smile as Mom came out with some tea and Aizen took it with a smile.

The rest of the evening proceeded in a similar manner, with Aizen getting along fairly well with my family (except the Asshole, but he's a douche anyways).

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Yo~

So yes. Meet Aja's family. Her dad is an Asshole who gets drunk and is all abusive and yeah… but Aizen is all 'pshh I could pwn you in mah sleep biatch' only more in character. But that's basically what he's saying…

Yeah.

So, review?


	144. Chapter 144: Conocen Mi Novio

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 144: Conocen Mi Novio

El Fuego (Chloe)

"Sooo, that's your boyfriend?" my twin Rena demanded.

"Yep!" I nodded.

"When did you meet him?" she asked.

"Uh… a while back," I smiled.

"So he's why you've been emo?"

"Perhaps…"

"Yeah, he has. " Rena rolled her eyes. "Mom and Dad are gonna freak,"

"I hope not," I replied easily. Ulquiorra made no comment as he walked beside us home from school. The sun was nice and high in the sky and there was still a kick of summer in the air. I loved days like these.

"And how do you say his name?" Rena asked.

"Oool- Kee- OH- Rah" I told her. Ulquiorra twitched lightly. "But I just call him Ulqui,"

"Awww you have a pet name! It's so cute!" Rena cooed. Ulquiorra twitched again.

"But he's so cute!" I agreed, glomping Ulquiorra (for like the millionth time today). Ulquiorra swayed a little but his expression ('I'm bored this is trash') didn't change.

"So is that makeup?" Rena bounced.

"… Yes," Ulquiorra replied after a bit.

"Wow. He even sounds emo," Rena sighed. Ulquiorra twitched yet again.

"Now now, I know some more emo people," I chided Rena.

"Like who? Edward Cullen?" she retorted. I snickered.

"Who is that?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Trash," I replied easily. Ulquiorra blinked at me, and then nodded.

"Indeed."

"Sparkly trash," Rena nodded. I snickered again.

"Nice one," I approved as we approached my house. It wasn't too big, and it wasn't too small.

Well… the part about it being too small proved to be incorrect when Ulquiorra met my dad.

"Who is this?" he demanded.

"This is Ulquiorra, he's my boyfriend," I explained easily. My mom, who had been drinking at the time, squirted tea out of her nose. Luckily it wasn't soda or milk… and the tea was cold. So Mom doesn't have to go to the hospital for any third degree burns in her nasal passages. That would suck. But it was still funny.

"When did you get a boyfriend?" she demanded, sopping her face dry.

"A while back," I shrugged.

"You're so evasive," Rena remarked suspiciously.

"Is he a druggy or something?" Dad demanded.

"Yes, he does look awfully suspicious," Mom nodded.

"I assure you both that I am not participating in any illegal activities and do not use any substances," Ulquiorra told both of my parents in a dry monotone.

"… Right… he sounds boring," Rena pouted.

"Oh he's not. Ulqui-kun here is very interesting," I grinned. Ulquiorra gave a short nod.

"So this is the boy who made you all depressed over the past year?" Mom demanded.

"What are you-"

"Come on, I'm your mother. I notice these things," Mom chided me. "Well? Was he?"

"… Yeah…" I muttered. Dad glared down at Ulquiorra.

"I'm assuming that you're _very sorry_, right?" he demanded.

"I am," Ulquiorra said emotionlessly.

"A little more emotion there Ulqui," I advised.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm completely sorry sir," Ulquiorra amended, adding a little more emotion and bowing.

"…"

"He doesn't like to show emotions… it took a bit to get him to, ya know," I grinned sheepishly.

"Ooooh so how far have you two gotten?" Rena demanded.

"Yes… do tell," Dad added in a frosty tone.

"First base," I lied.

"They've been Frenching for six months, I'd bet money on it," Rena translated. If only she knew…

Dad circled Ulquiorra in a vulture-like manner, and then gave a grunt of approval.

"I suppose. The instant you hurt our little girl we will make you wish you were never born boy, got it?" he demanded.

"… Yes sir," Ulquiorra nodded.

"… Now that that's settled, who's up for dinner?" Mom asked brightly.

Inuyoshie's After the Chapter Special

Okay! So that's meeting Chloe's family. Yup. They are relatively sane… yeah.

Well… not much to say here. Review? Yus.


	145. Chapter 145: Los Fusiles

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 145: Los Fusiles

La Psitica (Nicole)

"Dude, you are ripped,"

Yeah, those were the first words out of my older brother Ben's mouth when he saw Grimmjow. Mom looked very suspicious of Grimmjow, but Dad laughed.

"It's about time you got yourself a proper boyfriend," he announced.

"No seriously… are you in the army or something?" Ben demanded. "It would be just like Nicole to date a military man…"

"Nope," Grimmjow shook his head.

"Grimmy has problems with authority," I added. Grimmjow nodded and Ben laughed.

"Why does that not surprise me," he grinned. "Got any tats?"

"Yeah," Grimmjow nodded, lifting his shirt to show off the sexy six on his back.

"Hard core. What does it mean?"

"Eh… lucky number I guess," Grimmjow covered up.

"Mom what's for dinner?" I changed the topic quickly.

"Eh, we're ordering out Chinese… I don't feel like cooking," Mom announced.

"We're not going to the place that gave us cat food," Dad remarked from his La-Z-boy.

"Cat food?" Grimmjow blinked.

"Yeah. We ordered out once, and I got Mongolian Beef and I swear they gave me cat food. IT looked like cat food, tasted like cat food…" I shuddered at the memory. "We'll go to a good place. Hey, Maddie suggested Chinatown Kitchen,"

"That place downtown? Cool," Dad nodded. Mom called the number.

"Hey Grimmy, what do you want to eat?" I asked.

"Uh…" Grimmjow blanked.

"Eh, just give him sweet and sour chicken," Ben suggested. "That's good food to start people who are virgin to Chinese food on,"

"Or wusses," I nodded.

"I'm not a wuss!" Grimmjow announced. "Give me the spiciest thing they have!"

"…Okay, curried shrimp it is," Mom nodded, ordering. I got my favourite Mongolian beef, Ben got Kung Po chicken and Dad got Schezwan shrimp. Mom just stuck to some egg drop soup.

While we waited for our food Ben talked about college and told us some awesome stories. He's going to college to become a professional photographer, and Ben's stuff is fucking badass. He showed his stuff off and I cooed, even though Grimmjow was totally bored. Well… until Ben started talking about weapons. Then the two of them began talking shop… Grimmjow even pulled out his sword and showed it off. Ben cooed over the sword and then showed Grimmjow his favourite shot gun that Dad keeps in the cellar with his other shot guns. (Yeah, shooting stuff is a family tradition)

Soon after the food showed up. Damn the stuff smelled good! My beef was epic, just the right amount of spicy… and it had green peppers in it! I love these people! The fried rice was really good as well, although the egg roll left some to be desired. Too much cabbage.

Watching Grimmjow eat was funny though. He took one bite of the curried shrimp and began choking from the spiciness. Mom wasn't shitting- curried shrimp has to be one of the hottest substances known to man (besides Grimmjow).

The rest of the evening passed on relatively uneventfully… I was just glad that my parents didn't have any major issues with Grimmjow. I was kinda worried that they would…

Then again, I know Dakota's family dinner is probably going to be a lot rowdier than mine…

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay that last bit with Nicole was OOC. Please forgive me… I needed something to end the chapter, ya know? And it's a transition. Next chappie will have Dakota's dinner in it. And it will be interesting.

Anyway…

Typed this up using MahJongg music. Sorry it's so short… T-T not too much to type about. Nicole's family isn't the most talkative and they don't have weird stuff to show off … except for the guns.


	146. Chapter 146: Cena con mi familia

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 146: Cena con mi familia

La Luna (Dakota)

"Pass the pepper," my dad muttered. I did so quietly, glancing around the dinner table. The atomosphere seemed okay… I mean, you'd think they'd react to me bringing a guy home. A guy who seemed very comfortable with being close and personal with me (I had to lecture him about PDAs at my house) none the less. You see… my parents are fairly conservative… and Catholic. You know how they feel about homosexuality… yeah. If I say anything, I will get disowned, kicked out of the house, whole nine yards. Or sent to the local priest. Or sent to my grandmother… oh wait, she wsas at the dinner table too. Welcome to living hell.

The only good thing about it was that Szayel was with me (so if things got really bad he could just replace their brains or something I dunno) and Mom made chicken. Num…

"So… Szayel is it? What do you exactly do for a living?" Mom asked.

"I'm a scientist," Szayel answered (another thing I told him- no big words!)

"Oh really? What is your field?" Mom questioned.

"Oh, I do a little bit of everything… but I'm a general researcher," Szayel lied smoothly (Yet another thing I told him- don't mention the inhumane experimentation, pickled organs in various jars that decorate the labs or the cloning projects. )

"I see," Mom nodded. Grandmother smiled widely at me.

"Well Dakota, it's about time you brought a girl home!" she congradulated me. Szayel and I both froze for a few seconds. Oh… that's why there wasn't such a beef. My whole family thought Szayel was a girl.

"Hehe, yeah," I nodded, reddening. Grandmother chuckled knowingly, and Mom nodded. Dad muttered something under his breath and continued eating. He doesn't say much…

"So Szayel, tell us about your family… what's it like?" Mom pressesed, wanting to know everything about this mysterious 'girl' I brought home.

"I have a brother," Szayel remarked. "He's very… athletic,"

"Aaah," Mom nodded approvingly. "Very good very good."

"Yes," Szayel nodded curtly. My sister Erica stared at Szayel closely as he finished his dinner.

After dinner, we all migrated to the living room to watch the evening news. Grandmother ranted about how Obama's a socialist and I rolled my eyes, and Mom grumbled about the unseasonably warm weather we were experiencing. Szayel sat next to me, an interested look on his face, like he was observing some odd experiment. Then again, he probably was viewing this situation as an experiment so… there we are. Everything can be fixed by science I guess.

I became more nervous as the evening progressed. Any minute now someone is going to notice that Szayel has no boobs, or that he's a guy… I mean really? How could they mistake him for a girl?

…

Okay the pink hair doesn't help, but really? His voice isn't that high pitched…

But he has the right inflections I suppose. Or the wrong ones, depending on your point of view.

But if they saw him in his uniform… I mean, that thing leaves little to the imagination. Well… however, the patns make him look like he's wearing a skirt, instead of really baggy hippy jeans.  
Gaaah!

I just had to fall for the girly guy!

Well… his feminine-ness is what's keeping my family from kicking me out so…

I guess I'll just have to be careful.

Inuyoshie's After the chapter special

Yo!

Okay, so… what will happen next with Dakota? Why haven't I talked about Maddie? Why are our lovely protagonists having their men meet their families? How will everything end?

Next chapter will reveal the answers to these questions… also, it will be the last chapter. So… grab your tissue boxes my friends…


	147. Chapter 147: Da Jia de Ai

Bleached Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Chapter 147：大家的爱

La Psiquiatra (Maddie)

Of course, Mom found Gin's name hilarious.

"Gin huh? Like Edward-"

"No Mom, it's spelled like the alcoholic beverage," I corrected her.

"Ooooh… so it's like a Screwdriver?" Mom wondered.

"Or a slow screw," Dad added. Gin chuckled.

"Somethin' like that," he replied. "So… what are those?" he asked, pointing to our towering ferret cage.

"Oh yes, those are the ferrets. See… this one is Kahn, this one is Topaz, this one is Attila, this one is Salome and this is Jade," I listed, pulling out a small sable ferret with white tipped paws.

"That one's Jade?" Gin asked.

"Yeah. She's a real sweetie," I nodded, petting her. "She's so mellow,"

"I see," Gin nodded, letting Jade sniff his fingers. Jade squirmed excitedly, ready to totally sniff Gin all over the place. Actually… all of the ferrets were that way, but I was afraid Topaz would bite Gin because she tends to do that. Silly weasel…

"And over there is Balthazar," I pointed to our huge cat. He's a thick furred Maine Coon with pale green eyes and the mind of a dog, I swear. I mean really, if a robber came into our house, Bal would come up to him and be all 'love me!' to the guy. If you scratch him right, he drools. Really? Mom has had cats since she was very little and she has never seen a cat that drools. Bal ran over to Gin and rubbed up against his leg, purring loudly. Gin chuckled and I put Jade back in the cage. Bal doesn't play nicely with the ferrets… he's a hunter.

"Yeah, and we have fish… lots of them. And finches. And a snake," Mom grinned. "We have a zoo here,"

"Finally we have a Sophie," I added as Sophie ran downstairs.

"Gin! Gin!" Sophie cried, hugging Gin.

"How does Sophie know you?" Mom asked.

"Ah… that's an interesting story," Gin grinned. "Thanks for the dinner,"

"Yeah… no problem," Mom nodded, frowning. "But about Sophie-"

"And yer ferrets are cute-"

"About-"

"Aw look… the bald one's cleanin' the other guy's face-"

"Quit cutting me off!" Mom snapped loudly, getting annoyed. I winced. Here is where the shit hit the fan. "How do you know Sophie?"

"… If I told ya, ya wouldn' believe me," Gin retorted.

"Try me," Mom demanded, crossing her arms firmly.

"Okay…" Gin nodded, and he began to tell what happened. He told Mom about the peculiar amounts of reishi the six of us emitted, and how we accidentally traveled to another dimension, leaving our bodies behind. He explained our mysterious fever that lasted three days, and the weird stone I suddenly had. He quoted my unexplainable depression and finally pulled out his sword to prove that he wasn't bat shit crazy. Both of my parents listened, which is more than what some peoples' parents would.

Finally, Gin dropped the bomb.

"I hate ta break it to yer, but I'm takin' Maddie back," he announced.

Omniciente (Narrator)

"What?" Nicole's parents exclaimed.

"Yes, it's true. I'm taking my woman back," Ulquiorra nodded. Chloe's parents looked shocked.

"Even after all you've done?" Aja's mom demanded.

"Yes," Aizen nodded.

"And by the way, I am male, and Dakota and I are gay," Szayel announced at the end of it all.

"W-w-whaat???" Dakota's mom exclaimed.

"I KNEW IT!" Dakota's sister yelled.

"But, she's only sixteen!" Maddie's dad protested.

"Aw just think of it as early elopin'," Gin shrugged.

"I don't think I approve of Chloe going off with you…" Chloe's dad frowned.

"I'm taking her with me," Ulquiorra replied steelily.

"Alright Nicole! You hooked up with a hot anime character!" Ben congratulated Nicole.

"… are you calling me hot? 'Cuz I don't swing that way…" Grimmjow remarked.

"So Dakota and I will be leaving. I do hope you'll welcome him back when he visits," Szayel concluded.

"I suppose… if that's what you want," Chloe's mom sighed.

"You'll always be welcome back if you need to," Nicole's dad assured.

"If you hurt her God help you I will fucking kick your ass even if you are a god of death," Maddie's mom growled.

Gin opened a garganta. "Ya ready?"

"Yeah," Maddie nodded, taking his hand.

"Come on, let's go," Szayel suggested, opening a garganta.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Dakota nodded as his family picked their jaws up off of the ground.

"Woman, come with me," Ulquiorra announced sexily. Chloe giggled and nodded.

"Alright, I'm getting back home," Grimmjow nodded, opening his garganta.

Aizen opened his garganta and turned to Aja, holding out his hand. "Are you ready to come home, my queen?"

Aja blushed and took his hand gently.

"Yes… let's go home,"

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

…

It's done

The Chinese characters up front mean 'Everybody's love'

First of all, I would like to thank all the people who stuck with me and read this till the end… it was one bitchin' of a fic to read. I mean really… if it wasn't a fanfic, it would probably be a frickin' novel. Thanks to all who reviewed, favourited, alerted, authour alerted, etc.

I'd also like to thank my friends in real life who let me use their personas for this story. I had to mess up their personalities a little… well, except Aja. She actually acts like that.

…

Graah this is so emo! I'm sorry if I make any of you cry. If you don't really like the way this ends, then you can write your own, I don't mind. If you also have a one shot in mind, write it! Go right ahead, its' okay! Just send me a PM when it's posted on so I can read it too.

Now, I realize that this story has become somewhat of an addiction for some of you. And that's okay… because there is help. A new story AA will soon be published… Abyssal Armageddon. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I'm writing another one! It's not Bleach based, but it is the same six lovely protagonists only now in the universe of Tales of the Abyss. I've learned from this story and made AA more logical (no more Spanish chapter titles and POV switching) but it still has all the fun, all the powers and all the totally awkward romance. You don't have to play ToA to enjoy AA either, I've written it in a manner that people who don't' know about the universe can get most of the jokes. I haven't even played the game… I just read the manga and watch the anime (and have a co-authour who's obsessed with the Tales series…)

So yes. There will be more. This is not the last of Inuyoshie you will hear, got it? Yes.

So please… drop a review?

Also, I just ran spell check… and Abyssal is actually a word! I thought I just made that up… ^-^"


End file.
